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• The Bulldog and the Archer

  (#) Teresa 2007-11-28

  Sigh..... at least May's father has learned from his mistakes. I liked seeing the contrasts between how Charlie and May reacted to the music and how her father did. I also liked seeing how his mother dealt with him after May's birth, but it's a pity that he didn't show the same consideration to his daughter that he did to his wife. Will there be a similar set of flashbacks from May's mother and grandmother? I got the impression that the male members of her family all reacted like her father to some degree. And just out of curiosity, when did Lord Amarys first notice her? I have the feeling that he would have seen her potential even if her father willfully ignored it. Many thanks for another excellent chapter....... I suspect that even if May's father said no Charlie would wear him down with sheer determination! He is the bulldog after all!

  Author's response

  Thanks for another thought provoking review, Teresa!
  
  There were a few times that I almost included another scroll in the scene where her father reads her 'report' card. That scroll would have been the one from Aramys, notifying him of that Aramys expected to interview her. To include it would have de-emphasized the emotional aspects of the memory, I feel.
  
  I am still toying with the idea of the grandparents being more involved, as they are still alive, and they do live in the compound in their own private quarters. But, as I am trying to wrap up this story in 3-4 more chapters, they may not make it. Chapter 11 is now thoroughly outlined and plotted. It will be Charlie's Birthday chapter, so to speak (Dec 12th). I hope to have it finished this weekend.
  
  Thanks again!
  
  --Jim

• The Bulldog and the Archer

  (#) SNS 2007-12-03

  I just noticed that my review was lost in an 'Internet blackhole' the first time I left one. Grrrr!!!
  
  Alright, let's try again...
  
  I love the dream at the beginning, the pacing of it, the details about a younger Charlie. And then the music, like a thread taking him back to the present time... and May. Well, the music and a slight discomfort - cold. When he joins May outside, you only needed a few words to tell us, readers, how good she feels in his arms. And that shared moment is beautiful.
  
  Then, as much as I love your Charlie, I'm glad you used Shinkazu's point of view to give us some insight into what May's birth and their relationship mean/meant to him. I like the 'dialog' with his wife in the end.
  
  Very well done, my friend. :) Once again, the emotions sound true. And I do like your descriptive style of writing - very descriptive, but never overdone.
  
  -Anne

  Author's response

  Anne,
  
  May's willingness to brave the cold just goes to show how much that music, and by extension, the performers, mean to her.
  
  Although I have already established in my other stories that Charlie and May do visit the UK, and most likely, frequently, their home is in Romania, and I have no intention of ever changing that.
  
  It was a bit of a struggle to keep Shinkazu in character, and I feel comfortable with him as is. If another chance comes up to dialog with him, I will jump at the chance.
  
  I'm glad the emotions ring true. Though if Charlie had known Shinkazu was watching them, he probably would have been inhibited to some degree, whereas I feel May has reached the point where she would have not felt inhibited.
  
  Thanks for the kind words, Anne!
  
  --Jim

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