Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I Only Think In The Form Of Crunching Numbers___x
Chapter 7: Can’t Spot Her Faults But She Spotted Mine
3 reviews‘Do you realize that whenever you ask me a question you always say ‘I hope you don’t mind me asking’?’ He retorted ‘Hey…’ I grin, ‘I asked you a question first… an answer for...
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‘So…’ Patrick tried to end the sudden awkward silence between us, ‘We… We going?’
I then realized that I had been sat there for the passed ten minutes, engine running but not going anywhere. Stupid.
‘Uhh... Yeah… Sure’ I put the car in gear and begin on my root. ‘So… Where do you live?’
‘Oh... I’ll…give you directions…’ He stuttered, playing with his jeans, ‘I don’t live very far away’
‘Okay’ I smile
Patrick led us around, calling left and right at the appropriate times. When he final told me to pull up out front I was stunned by the size of his house. It was much bigger than my apartment. There was a white picket fence, a flower garden out front, a postbox with the word ‘Stumph’ on the side and a path leading toward the big white door. All the lights were off. Patrick sighed, sounding rather relieved.
‘I…won’t be long..’ He nodded at me, and climbed out.
‘Need any help carrying stuff?’ I call after him
He froze, mid pathway but didn’t turn around.
‘Uh... no…’ He practically whispered, ‘No thanks…’
At the front door, he bent down and picked up a key from under the mat. Unlocking the front door I was puzzled to see him sneaking inside, as if he was about to rob the place rather than just retrieve stuff.
Not too long later there was a loud bang from the house and Trick sped out of house and sprinted towards the car soon followed by a man in his fifties shouting and waving his fist. Patrick literally leapt into the car, throwing his bag full of stuff and his guitar case in.
‘Go…’ He cried, his eyes pouring, ‘Please... Just go…’
I did as I was commanded, the back wheel of my car spinning as I made a quick getaway. Just as we were leaving I caught a small clip of what the man was shouting after us.
‘And don’t come back here, fag’ He’d hollered, red faced.
Patrick wiped his eyes in the sleeve of his hoodie. His head hung low, ashamed. I heard his sniffing loudly and breathlessly beside me but I didn’t take my eyes off the road. He inhaled painfully and crossed his arms.
‘You… you…can drop me off back at the center…’ He mumbled into his knees
‘Why…?’ I asked, determinedly heading towards my home
‘Clearly you heard what he said…’ He mumbled again, quieter this time, hoarse, ‘I’m a fag…’
Silence filled the car for a few seconds, my eyes still focused on the road ahead, but I didn’t head back towards the town center. Instead I drove straight passed.
‘Didn’t… ‘His voiced trailed off, but I knew what he was going to say.
‘Yeah… I heard you…’ I said dryly, ‘I’m not dropping you off though’
He turned his sparkling, blue, tear-soaked eyes towards me, making me switch my attention to him.
‘But… Why?’ He sniffed, sadly.
‘Because… It doesn’t bother me…’ I say, smiling, pulling his hat down over his eyes
Patrick laughed.
‘Besides, I knew all along’ I lied
‘Oh, yeah? ‘He wiped his eyes again, ‘How?’
‘Cause you cry like such a drama queen’ I snort, slapping his knee.
He grinned and looked faux insulted.
‘How dare you!’ He screamed and placed the back of his hand to his forehead.
I shook my head, pulling in front of my building.
‘You are so weird’ I laugh, parking the car.
We both got out of the car at the same time. Patrick waited patiently for me to lock up before following me towards the building. His bag on his back and his guitar case in hand I led him towards the elevator. He grabbed my hand before we reached it.
‘Nuh uh’ He said, shaking his head
‘What?’ I replied, confused
He pointed towards the stairs.
‘Oh, hell no’ I chuckle, but it was too late, he was already dragging me up the stairs.
Climbing the stairs after the day that I’d had was like climbing Everest. Every step hurt. At least I had some time to think now with everything calming down. I could believe Patrick was gay. I mean, I really wouldn’t have guessed that of him. He wasn’t what you would expect of a gay guy. It didn’t bother me at all though. Really, it didn’t. Questions whizzed around my head and I felt another Q and A round to come once we’d arrive at the apartment.
Stopping on the third floor, I walked towards my room to discover a note on the front of the door.
‘See you in hell Wentz’ I read out loud.
Patrick’s eyes were wide.
I ripped the note off front and just dropped it on the floor to the right of me.
‘Eh…’ I shrugged, knowing I’d have to lie ‘Pissy neighbors’
As soon as my door was open I heard a bark come from the bedroom. Hemmy bounded in, tongue sticking out, and ran straight passed me. He jumped onto Patrick before he even had chance to enter. Now, Hemmy is the most lovable boxer dog you would ever wish to meet, so instead of mauling Patrick he simply slobbered all over his shoes.
‘Hemmy!’ I shouted, picking him up, yet he struggled, trying to get back to Patrick’s shoes. ‘Sorry… He’s a bit dense…’
‘Are you talking to me or the dog?’ Patrick chuckled, adjusting his hat and petting Hemmy on the head.
‘Hey…’ I smile, still holding Hemmingway, ‘Why don’t you sit down?’
I poured both of us a cup of coffee, placing his on the coffee table while I drank mine, standing. Trick walked over to the couch but stopped in front of it. It was then I remembered the burrito sauce that I had yet to clean. Instead of causing a fuss about it, as he would be perfectly justified to do, he just shrugged and sat on the other end. I put Hemmy down, and he instantly ran back over to Patrick and jumped in his lap.
‘You jealous?’ Patrick asked, broad smile on his face
‘Of Hemmy?’ I ask, biting my lip
Patrick blushed.
‘Uh…’ I cough, trying to make my last statement disappear, ‘I hope you don’t mind me asking but… How did your parents find out…?’
Patrick giggled. That caught me off guard.
‘Do you realize that whenever you ask me a question you always say ‘I hope you don’t mind me asking’?’ He retorted
‘Hey…’ I grin, ‘I asked you a question first… an answer for an answer Stumph’
‘Sure…’ He sighed, ‘Uhhh..’
‘And I want the truth this time…’ I cut in, ‘As much as I appreciate your comedy genius… You stories take forever, man’
‘Fair enough…’ He beamed, ‘My parents found out because they… uh…’
He stopped, clearly uncomfortable.
‘Look… You don’t have to tell me…’ I say, trying to be comforting, ‘But.. you know the whole gay thing doesn’t bother me..’
‘They caught me fucking two guys in my bedroom...’ He said, not looking up.
I spat my coffee all over the kitchen floor. Patrick laughed outrageously and Hemmy barked in his lap.
‘Guah… Re... Really?’ I spluttered, coffee running down my chin.
‘No,’ He smiled evilly, ‘But I’m a comedy genius remember.’
‘You asshole!’ I shout, sniggering, getting on my hands and knees to wipe the floor dry, ‘I said I wanted the truth this time.’
‘Fine…’ He stated, ‘I wrote a song about a guy and my parents heard me singing it. They’re Catholics so that was kinda a sin or something.’
‘Oh... and in answer to your question…’ I smile, getting off of the floor, ‘I don’t want to offend you because you might hit me with you handbag’
I then realized that I had been sat there for the passed ten minutes, engine running but not going anywhere. Stupid.
‘Uhh... Yeah… Sure’ I put the car in gear and begin on my root. ‘So… Where do you live?’
‘Oh... I’ll…give you directions…’ He stuttered, playing with his jeans, ‘I don’t live very far away’
‘Okay’ I smile
Patrick led us around, calling left and right at the appropriate times. When he final told me to pull up out front I was stunned by the size of his house. It was much bigger than my apartment. There was a white picket fence, a flower garden out front, a postbox with the word ‘Stumph’ on the side and a path leading toward the big white door. All the lights were off. Patrick sighed, sounding rather relieved.
‘I…won’t be long..’ He nodded at me, and climbed out.
‘Need any help carrying stuff?’ I call after him
He froze, mid pathway but didn’t turn around.
‘Uh... no…’ He practically whispered, ‘No thanks…’
At the front door, he bent down and picked up a key from under the mat. Unlocking the front door I was puzzled to see him sneaking inside, as if he was about to rob the place rather than just retrieve stuff.
Not too long later there was a loud bang from the house and Trick sped out of house and sprinted towards the car soon followed by a man in his fifties shouting and waving his fist. Patrick literally leapt into the car, throwing his bag full of stuff and his guitar case in.
‘Go…’ He cried, his eyes pouring, ‘Please... Just go…’
I did as I was commanded, the back wheel of my car spinning as I made a quick getaway. Just as we were leaving I caught a small clip of what the man was shouting after us.
‘And don’t come back here, fag’ He’d hollered, red faced.
Patrick wiped his eyes in the sleeve of his hoodie. His head hung low, ashamed. I heard his sniffing loudly and breathlessly beside me but I didn’t take my eyes off the road. He inhaled painfully and crossed his arms.
‘You… you…can drop me off back at the center…’ He mumbled into his knees
‘Why…?’ I asked, determinedly heading towards my home
‘Clearly you heard what he said…’ He mumbled again, quieter this time, hoarse, ‘I’m a fag…’
Silence filled the car for a few seconds, my eyes still focused on the road ahead, but I didn’t head back towards the town center. Instead I drove straight passed.
‘Didn’t… ‘His voiced trailed off, but I knew what he was going to say.
‘Yeah… I heard you…’ I said dryly, ‘I’m not dropping you off though’
He turned his sparkling, blue, tear-soaked eyes towards me, making me switch my attention to him.
‘But… Why?’ He sniffed, sadly.
‘Because… It doesn’t bother me…’ I say, smiling, pulling his hat down over his eyes
Patrick laughed.
‘Besides, I knew all along’ I lied
‘Oh, yeah? ‘He wiped his eyes again, ‘How?’
‘Cause you cry like such a drama queen’ I snort, slapping his knee.
He grinned and looked faux insulted.
‘How dare you!’ He screamed and placed the back of his hand to his forehead.
I shook my head, pulling in front of my building.
‘You are so weird’ I laugh, parking the car.
We both got out of the car at the same time. Patrick waited patiently for me to lock up before following me towards the building. His bag on his back and his guitar case in hand I led him towards the elevator. He grabbed my hand before we reached it.
‘Nuh uh’ He said, shaking his head
‘What?’ I replied, confused
He pointed towards the stairs.
‘Oh, hell no’ I chuckle, but it was too late, he was already dragging me up the stairs.
Climbing the stairs after the day that I’d had was like climbing Everest. Every step hurt. At least I had some time to think now with everything calming down. I could believe Patrick was gay. I mean, I really wouldn’t have guessed that of him. He wasn’t what you would expect of a gay guy. It didn’t bother me at all though. Really, it didn’t. Questions whizzed around my head and I felt another Q and A round to come once we’d arrive at the apartment.
Stopping on the third floor, I walked towards my room to discover a note on the front of the door.
‘See you in hell Wentz’ I read out loud.
Patrick’s eyes were wide.
I ripped the note off front and just dropped it on the floor to the right of me.
‘Eh…’ I shrugged, knowing I’d have to lie ‘Pissy neighbors’
As soon as my door was open I heard a bark come from the bedroom. Hemmy bounded in, tongue sticking out, and ran straight passed me. He jumped onto Patrick before he even had chance to enter. Now, Hemmy is the most lovable boxer dog you would ever wish to meet, so instead of mauling Patrick he simply slobbered all over his shoes.
‘Hemmy!’ I shouted, picking him up, yet he struggled, trying to get back to Patrick’s shoes. ‘Sorry… He’s a bit dense…’
‘Are you talking to me or the dog?’ Patrick chuckled, adjusting his hat and petting Hemmy on the head.
‘Hey…’ I smile, still holding Hemmingway, ‘Why don’t you sit down?’
I poured both of us a cup of coffee, placing his on the coffee table while I drank mine, standing. Trick walked over to the couch but stopped in front of it. It was then I remembered the burrito sauce that I had yet to clean. Instead of causing a fuss about it, as he would be perfectly justified to do, he just shrugged and sat on the other end. I put Hemmy down, and he instantly ran back over to Patrick and jumped in his lap.
‘You jealous?’ Patrick asked, broad smile on his face
‘Of Hemmy?’ I ask, biting my lip
Patrick blushed.
‘Uh…’ I cough, trying to make my last statement disappear, ‘I hope you don’t mind me asking but… How did your parents find out…?’
Patrick giggled. That caught me off guard.
‘Do you realize that whenever you ask me a question you always say ‘I hope you don’t mind me asking’?’ He retorted
‘Hey…’ I grin, ‘I asked you a question first… an answer for an answer Stumph’
‘Sure…’ He sighed, ‘Uhhh..’
‘And I want the truth this time…’ I cut in, ‘As much as I appreciate your comedy genius… You stories take forever, man’
‘Fair enough…’ He beamed, ‘My parents found out because they… uh…’
He stopped, clearly uncomfortable.
‘Look… You don’t have to tell me…’ I say, trying to be comforting, ‘But.. you know the whole gay thing doesn’t bother me..’
‘They caught me fucking two guys in my bedroom...’ He said, not looking up.
I spat my coffee all over the kitchen floor. Patrick laughed outrageously and Hemmy barked in his lap.
‘Guah… Re... Really?’ I spluttered, coffee running down my chin.
‘No,’ He smiled evilly, ‘But I’m a comedy genius remember.’
‘You asshole!’ I shout, sniggering, getting on my hands and knees to wipe the floor dry, ‘I said I wanted the truth this time.’
‘Fine…’ He stated, ‘I wrote a song about a guy and my parents heard me singing it. They’re Catholics so that was kinda a sin or something.’
‘Oh... and in answer to your question…’ I smile, getting off of the floor, ‘I don’t want to offend you because you might hit me with you handbag’
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