FicWad

We talk for over three hours like old friends reunited. Talking about our past, our present and even our future. Patrick’s big rock star plans and my hazy, work focused life.

‘So, you really don’t know what you want from life?’ Patrick asked, Hemmy still in his lap but fast asleep

‘I know what I want’ I sigh, ‘But it’s not realistic’

‘Oh yeah?’ He smiled, ‘Then what’s that?’

‘You know’ I gesture, ‘Kids, Wife, Family, Retirement and Death.’

‘What a fun future…’ He mumbled, ‘Is all that stuff so important?’

‘I think so…’ I nod, agreeing with myself

That is what I want after all. When I’m done with work, what’s there for me? That’s why I want a family I guess. Yeah, back to the loneliness issue. I actually found it a little strange that I didn’t feel that hollowness that I usually do right about now. I felt oddly comfortable in myself, which, trust me, doesn’t happen too often.

‘What’s most important?’ He asks, playing with the peak of his hat,

‘I don’t know…’ I grumble, and really, I didn’t know, ‘I suppose… If I had to say what was most important to me right now.. I’d have to answer, work.’

Patrick laughed and shook his head.

‘What a sad little existence…’ He snorted; I hit him with a cushion.

‘Okay, busker boy’ I hooted, poking him repeatedly, ‘What’s most important to you?’

I expected him to say music. After all, that seems to be his passion. The answer he did come up with though caught me a little off guard.

‘Love’ He said, very sure in his decision

I cocked my head to the side.

‘Love?’

Patrick noded.

‘Love’ He smiled

I didn’t understand what was up with everyone lately. This sick obsession with love. What was so great about it? From what I heard, it was agonizing and difficult. How could you possibly like to feel like that?

‘It’s worth it’ Patrick whispered under his breath, ‘Love.. It is worth it..’

‘Have you even been in love?’ I enquire

‘Only with words.’ Trick beamed sadly, ‘I’m still waiting…’

‘Me too, I guess’ I chuckle, ‘Hey…What about music?’

‘What about music?’ Patrick raised an eyebrow at me from under his trucker hat.

‘I distinctly remember you saying earlier that you would teach me music.’ I smirk, arms crossed.

On hearing this Patrick makes an odd squeaking noise and jumps to his feet. Scooping up his backpack he pulls out several CDs and looks at me expectantly.

‘What?’ I say, confused

‘Uh… CD player?’ He asked, waving the CDs around.

‘Oh.. Use my laptop…’ I point at the bag next to the TV.

Patrick grabs the bag and jumps down next to me. His smile is so big it hardly fits on his face. Opening the bag he removes my laptop and places it in my lap. I set it up, ready for him, and he puts a CD in. Bringing up Windows Media Player he presses play and watches my face as I listen to what sounds like a marching band.

‘Because you're mine
The brightest star I see
Looks down, my love, and envies me
Because you're mine, because you're mine

Because you're mine
The breeze that hurries by
Becomes a melody and why?
Because you're mine, because you're mine

I only know for as long as I may live
I'll only live for the kiss that you alone may give me

And when we kiss
That isn't thunder, dear
It's only my poor heart you hear and its applause
Because you're mine

I only know for as long as I may live
I'll only live for the kiss that you alone may give me

And when we kiss
That isn't thunder, dear
It's only my poor heart you hear and its applause
Because you're mine’

Once the song had finished, Patrick looked at me in expectancy. Slowly, I nod.

‘So…?’ He asks, eyebrows arched

‘I like it’ I grin

Patrick sighs as if I’d said the wrong thing. I, obviously, had no idea what I did wrong.

‘Uh… Trick?’ I say, completely bewildered

‘It doesn’t matter…’ He tried to smile

‘No, No, No’ I grab his forearm, ‘What’s wrong?’

Slowly, he looks me in the eye and I see this misery and blankness that I’d never seen before.

‘I… really want you… to understand this…’ He says, breathing between pauses, ‘It’s… never mind…’

‘Then show me..’ I say calmly, ‘You’re a musical freaking genius… If anyone can teach me to appreciate this then you can’

He stopped, thinking for a moment before picking up his guitar case. Unzipping it to reveal the same acoustic guitar that he always used, he threw the strap over his shoulder and stood up in front of me, ready to give a performance. So that he could have my undivided attention, I put my laptop down beside me and leaned forward to watch closely. He pulled a plectrum from between the strings.

‘This is the song that ended up getting me kicked out,’ He giggled, holding on to the fret board, ‘If this won’t inspire you, you have a heart of stone’

‘God, why does everyone keep saying that?’ I run my hand through my hair, ‘Okay… Let’s go…’

Sturdily he began to play.

‘Why can you read me like no one else?
I hide behind these words but I'm coming out.
I wish I kept them behind my tongue.
I hide behind these words but I'm coming out

Put your hand between an aching head and an aching world.
We'll make them so jealous; we'll make them hate us.
An aching head and an aching world’
We'll make them so jealous
We'll make them so jealous

All the ways you make my stomach turn and all the long drives with my friends blur.
I wish I kept them inside my mind.
I hide behind these words and think of all the places where you've been lost and then found...out.
In between my sheets, in between the rights and the wrongs.

Put your hand between an aching head and an aching world.
We'll make them so jealous; we'll make them hate us.
Aching head and an aching world.
Think of all the places where you've been lost and found...out’

I blinked, stunned. Then, I cried. I sobbed deeply into my hands. All I could think was, wow, that’s love. His words were as if taken from the furthest part of my soul. I climbed to my feet and threw my arms around him, pulling him into me, my tears soaking his shoulder. He put his hand to the back of my head. I couldn’t believe he made me react like this. Jesus, it was so out of the ordinary I was completely taken aback. I heard the rumble in his chest as he talked.

‘Woah,’ He laughed, ‘Never brought a grown man to tears before’

‘That was…’ I spoke into his shoulder, ‘Amazing.’

‘I think you get it now’ Trick nodded

I made a small noise of agreement and unclamped myself from him. Looking up at him I caught my reflection in his eyes. God, I looked pitiful. Tapping me on the back, he smiled. The hand on my back stilled and he looked to the floor. When he looked back up, I suddenly had the urge to do something I could have never imagined doing before. He looked so incredible. This post jam session smell on his clothes, a mixture of sweat and pure magic. The fringe poking out from under his hat all soaked and messy. His eyes, clear and trouble free. As I look into them and take a step forward, my sidekick rings.

My head drops and a lift my index finger to Patrick, indicating I’ll be one minute. Without even bothering to see who was calling, like I needed to look anyway, I immediately answer the call.

‘What now, hag?’ I say, as calmly as possible

‘Did you get my note baby?’ Ash purred, yeah, purred

I shuddered.

‘Yes, I did. Congratulations, you’ve learned to spell’ I retort

Patrick shook his head and went to sit down on the couch. Joining him, I sighed, Sidekick still pressed to my ear.

‘I’m telling you Petey babe,’ She purred once more, ‘I’m coming for you’

‘Well, there’s a first for everything,’ I spat out the last word, ‘Babe’

‘I think I’ll start with that ugly mongrel of yours’ She screeched, I wondered when the screeching was coming

I couldn’t help myself. I chuckled so much, at the sheer ridiculousness of the last thing she said.

‘Are you serious?’ I snort, ‘You cry when you break a nail. I wouldn’t want to be around to endure the screams you would produce if you tried even touching Hemmy. He’d kill you’

‘Whatever, babe’ She screeched some more, ‘I’d love to see the look on your face when you come home from work to find that fat, white rat dead.’

‘No honey,’ I smile, ‘I would probably throw the biggest fucking party I could if I came home to find you dead’

She paused for a little while, thrown off by what I’d said. I placed the Sidekick down in my lap and looked at Patrick. I raised three fingers. Counting out loud I put a finger down as I did.

‘Three’

‘Two’

‘One’

A thunderously loud screech came from the phone and though it was in my lap I still had to cover my ears to stop them from bleeding. Once she’d stopped ranting I lifted the phone back to my ear.

‘And…’ My finger hovers over the disconnect button, ‘You’re done.. Oh and Ash… See you in hell’

I push the disconnect button before she got a chance to say anything else.

‘Christ…’ Patrick gawp, ‘That Ash?’

‘Uh huh...’ I snigger, ‘Sweet kid huh?’

I threw my cell on the floor and almost instantly Hemmy pounced on it and chewed at the corner. I shook my head in amusement.

‘God help her, if she tried anything with Hemmy…’ I sigh, not needing to finish the sentence.