Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > the fact of the matter it that is just a matter of time
Chapter 22
I walked into the hospital cafeteria, and bought a fruit juice. I sat in one of the disgustingly clean tables and let my head rest on the wall behind me. I took a sip of the cup and felt the citric of the orange poke my tongue as I swallowed. Just what I needed to wake up. Mom’s outbursts had been subdued by a high dose of medication. I wasn’t sure if this was better or worst. Now whenever she was awake she stared at me with vacant eyes, and I didn’t even want to know what was really passing through her mind.
This month had turned me into someone else, I was sure. I had learned to retain my acidity a bit more, and to be quiet when the time came. But I felt heavy, and every time I moved it seemed to take most of my energy. I had lost a lot of weight, and my skin was literally clinging to my bones. Because of this I felt cold most of the time and had to wear hoodies and warmer stuff on top of my normal clothes. It didn’t help that the hospital temperature was low enough to keep a family of penguins happy.
I sipped the orange juice to the last drop and paid the fee. I took my new cell phone from the back pocket of my jeans and checked the hour: 7:30. Just in time to get to school. I had a crazy schedule in school; I didn’t go to most classes but got tutored in the hospital cafeteria. I went just to have something to think about.
I walked into the hospital parking lot, sliding my gigantic purple sunglasses up the bridge of my nose. I took the keys from my back pocket and pressed the unlock button of my new black Honda CRV. I walked towards the four by four and climbed in. It had been the only present my aunt had given me and she had been very clear in stating that it was the only one I’d be receiving for as long as I lived with her. I was glad, I needed a way of transportation from one place to another and since I was unable to apply for a job I didn’t have a penny of my own, only the ten dollars auntie gave me per week.
I didn’t even notice when I got to school, the drive had been pretty fast. I parked in my usual spot and jogged down to English class. As soon as I entered the room I missed Mrs. Mary Pat instantly.
“Such a pleasure for you to join us today, Mrs O’connor” Mrs Monica smiled as I sat somewhere in the middle of the room.
“Yeah, I know” I replied without knowing as I put my backpack down and sat on the chair. That teacher hated me, and so did I. In school I didn’t talk about why I was absent most of the time, the only people that knew about it were the teachers and the principals, but most teachers disapproved of the arrangement that had been done: they were too proud.
I sucked it up most of the time, but sometimes they made me explode. Today I had seen a kid in the hallway whose long, black hair resembled Gerard’s. But his was just dyed, dried, and almost dead in comparison to Gerard’s and it got me sulky whenever something like that happened, or when I saw someone doodling or when I saw a Metallica, or Misfits shirt. It just got me in a bad mood, but I tried to omit that it was because of him I got that way. I hated he had such control on me without him seeing me over a month.
It was unacceptable.
Classes ended and I went to my car and drove ‘home’. Auntie and I rarely went home, but I had accumulated a lot of dirty clothes and soon I’d have nothing clean to wear so today I’d be doing some laundry. I walked to the phone and as I dialled the number to the nurse center I noticed the red light turning on and off, meaning we had messages waiting. I waited for the nurse to pick up.
“Good afternoon this is Anna, in what can I help you today?” She asked in a monotone.
“Hey Ana, its Gabe. Is mom up yet?”
“Oh no, Ms O’connor. She’s asleep. She’ll be waking up around two”
“Oh, ok, thanks”
“Anytime. See you soon”
“Uh-huh” I hung up and pressed the message button.
“ You have three unheard messages. Message one,
Hello! I’m the representative of Indonesian fantasies, are you interested in-?”
I pressed the delete button.
“/This message has been deleted. Message two/
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GABE?!” Kamz screeched before hunging up.
“/ Message number three,/
Okay, I didn’t want to yell like that. I probably scared you. Anyway, it’s been a month now since you left without telling anyone about it, and I said I was going to call you if a month passed and you were still incommunicado. So here I am calling to know if you’re alive. Call me, will ya? Or any of us for that matter. You’ve left stuff pretty screwed up here. And by stuff I mean Gerard. He’s like a walking zombie, seriously. It’s depressing. CALL ME MOTHERFUCKER! IT’S FUCKING CHRISTMAS TIME!” She yelled and then hung up. I stared at the black box, almost expecting Kamz to crawl out of it and drag me back to Belleville.
“/End of messages/” The tiny black box announced and I walked out of the room and into the small laundry room.
Gerard.
Walking zombie.
Kamz.
Stressed.
I took my cell phone and dialled Kamz’s phone number. It rang once and then I hung up. Thank god I called her home… I sighed heavily and went back to my laundry. I separated the colors and what not, and worked heavily on my job trying not to think of anything in particular.
About an hour or so later I was woken up by an insisting ringing. I stood in between the dirty bed sheets I had fallen asleep in on the floor and ran to the phone, not bothering to check the ID first.
“Hello?”
“YOU MOTHERFUCKING SLUT!” Was Kamz’s warm greeting.
“Hey…” I whispered.
“WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?! YOU, YOU-“
“Sorry…”
“Don’t ‘Sorry’ me, I know very damn well you’re not sorry. So cut the crap.” She snapped.
“If you’re so angry with me then why bother to call?” I asked slowly, dumping my sore body on the couch.
“’Cause I’m so ghey I’m worried about your un-worthy ass”
“Right…”I sighed, too tired to argue that point.
“Are you ever coming back?” She asked a little less bitchy.
“Yes”
“When?” She asked quickly.
“When mom dies”
“SHE HASN’T DIED YET?!” She yelled without thinking, “Sorry about that…I”
“Yeah, I get it” I didn’t get it at all but it seemed the best thing to say.
“Will you call before?”
“Probably not”
She sighed; apparently she had understood I was a bit different now. She said something I didn’t get and then muttered,
“She you someday then, loser” were her last words as she hung up, defeated.
“Bye” I said pointlessly to the unstopping beeping.
I knew that I had changed a bit, but only when the conversation between us ceased and Kamz realized I was no longer the same person she used to like al least a bit was when I really comprehended my change.
I didn’t like it, but it was go I was now.
Damn.
I walked into the hospital cafeteria, and bought a fruit juice. I sat in one of the disgustingly clean tables and let my head rest on the wall behind me. I took a sip of the cup and felt the citric of the orange poke my tongue as I swallowed. Just what I needed to wake up. Mom’s outbursts had been subdued by a high dose of medication. I wasn’t sure if this was better or worst. Now whenever she was awake she stared at me with vacant eyes, and I didn’t even want to know what was really passing through her mind.
This month had turned me into someone else, I was sure. I had learned to retain my acidity a bit more, and to be quiet when the time came. But I felt heavy, and every time I moved it seemed to take most of my energy. I had lost a lot of weight, and my skin was literally clinging to my bones. Because of this I felt cold most of the time and had to wear hoodies and warmer stuff on top of my normal clothes. It didn’t help that the hospital temperature was low enough to keep a family of penguins happy.
I sipped the orange juice to the last drop and paid the fee. I took my new cell phone from the back pocket of my jeans and checked the hour: 7:30. Just in time to get to school. I had a crazy schedule in school; I didn’t go to most classes but got tutored in the hospital cafeteria. I went just to have something to think about.
I walked into the hospital parking lot, sliding my gigantic purple sunglasses up the bridge of my nose. I took the keys from my back pocket and pressed the unlock button of my new black Honda CRV. I walked towards the four by four and climbed in. It had been the only present my aunt had given me and she had been very clear in stating that it was the only one I’d be receiving for as long as I lived with her. I was glad, I needed a way of transportation from one place to another and since I was unable to apply for a job I didn’t have a penny of my own, only the ten dollars auntie gave me per week.
I didn’t even notice when I got to school, the drive had been pretty fast. I parked in my usual spot and jogged down to English class. As soon as I entered the room I missed Mrs. Mary Pat instantly.
“Such a pleasure for you to join us today, Mrs O’connor” Mrs Monica smiled as I sat somewhere in the middle of the room.
“Yeah, I know” I replied without knowing as I put my backpack down and sat on the chair. That teacher hated me, and so did I. In school I didn’t talk about why I was absent most of the time, the only people that knew about it were the teachers and the principals, but most teachers disapproved of the arrangement that had been done: they were too proud.
I sucked it up most of the time, but sometimes they made me explode. Today I had seen a kid in the hallway whose long, black hair resembled Gerard’s. But his was just dyed, dried, and almost dead in comparison to Gerard’s and it got me sulky whenever something like that happened, or when I saw someone doodling or when I saw a Metallica, or Misfits shirt. It just got me in a bad mood, but I tried to omit that it was because of him I got that way. I hated he had such control on me without him seeing me over a month.
It was unacceptable.
Classes ended and I went to my car and drove ‘home’. Auntie and I rarely went home, but I had accumulated a lot of dirty clothes and soon I’d have nothing clean to wear so today I’d be doing some laundry. I walked to the phone and as I dialled the number to the nurse center I noticed the red light turning on and off, meaning we had messages waiting. I waited for the nurse to pick up.
“Good afternoon this is Anna, in what can I help you today?” She asked in a monotone.
“Hey Ana, its Gabe. Is mom up yet?”
“Oh no, Ms O’connor. She’s asleep. She’ll be waking up around two”
“Oh, ok, thanks”
“Anytime. See you soon”
“Uh-huh” I hung up and pressed the message button.
“ You have three unheard messages. Message one,
Hello! I’m the representative of Indonesian fantasies, are you interested in-?”
I pressed the delete button.
“/This message has been deleted. Message two/
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GABE?!” Kamz screeched before hunging up.
“/ Message number three,/
Okay, I didn’t want to yell like that. I probably scared you. Anyway, it’s been a month now since you left without telling anyone about it, and I said I was going to call you if a month passed and you were still incommunicado. So here I am calling to know if you’re alive. Call me, will ya? Or any of us for that matter. You’ve left stuff pretty screwed up here. And by stuff I mean Gerard. He’s like a walking zombie, seriously. It’s depressing. CALL ME MOTHERFUCKER! IT’S FUCKING CHRISTMAS TIME!” She yelled and then hung up. I stared at the black box, almost expecting Kamz to crawl out of it and drag me back to Belleville.
“/End of messages/” The tiny black box announced and I walked out of the room and into the small laundry room.
Gerard.
Walking zombie.
Kamz.
Stressed.
I took my cell phone and dialled Kamz’s phone number. It rang once and then I hung up. Thank god I called her home… I sighed heavily and went back to my laundry. I separated the colors and what not, and worked heavily on my job trying not to think of anything in particular.
About an hour or so later I was woken up by an insisting ringing. I stood in between the dirty bed sheets I had fallen asleep in on the floor and ran to the phone, not bothering to check the ID first.
“Hello?”
“YOU MOTHERFUCKING SLUT!” Was Kamz’s warm greeting.
“Hey…” I whispered.
“WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?! YOU, YOU-“
“Sorry…”
“Don’t ‘Sorry’ me, I know very damn well you’re not sorry. So cut the crap.” She snapped.
“If you’re so angry with me then why bother to call?” I asked slowly, dumping my sore body on the couch.
“’Cause I’m so ghey I’m worried about your un-worthy ass”
“Right…”I sighed, too tired to argue that point.
“Are you ever coming back?” She asked a little less bitchy.
“Yes”
“When?” She asked quickly.
“When mom dies”
“SHE HASN’T DIED YET?!” She yelled without thinking, “Sorry about that…I”
“Yeah, I get it” I didn’t get it at all but it seemed the best thing to say.
“Will you call before?”
“Probably not”
She sighed; apparently she had understood I was a bit different now. She said something I didn’t get and then muttered,
“She you someday then, loser” were her last words as she hung up, defeated.
“Bye” I said pointlessly to the unstopping beeping.
I knew that I had changed a bit, but only when the conversation between us ceased and Kamz realized I was no longer the same person she used to like al least a bit was when I really comprehended my change.
I didn’t like it, but it was go I was now.
Damn.
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