FicWad

‘Patrick’s sensitive man…’ Joe smiled, now sat next to me in the spot Rebecca was once occupying, ‘He’s had… shit happen...’

‘Like what..?’ I ask, still doodling, ‘I know the whole bullying thing... and his parents…’

I shrug at the end.

‘Not just that…’ He shook his head, ‘There’s worse shit...’

‘Oh…’ I was surprised, I mean, Patrick’s young, he’d had enough shit already but there was more? ‘Really?’

Joe nodded and took a deep breath.

‘Dwayne… Fucking asshole…’ He sighed

The woman in bed next to us was now tutting at his use of cusses. I turn my head at her.

‘Shut your blap’ I call, sticking my tongue out

Once again, she tried to defend herself with her magazine

‘Nosey bitch’ I growl, ‘You were saying?’

‘So, there was this guy that Patrick was, like, smitten with called Dwayne’ He began, waving his arms as he talked, ‘He couldn’t believe it when he found out that Dwayne was gay so he took it upon himself to ask him out. I was happy for him when Dwayne said yes. Really, I was. I know my religion kind of, forbids homoness or whatever, but I’ve already planned a band practice in hell anyway cause I definitely ain’t reaching the kingdom.’

‘The point of this story?’ I ask, eyebrow cocked

‘Oh yeah,’ He shakes his head as if snapping out of some trance, ‘So, they were dating for about… six months?... Was it?... Could have been five…’

‘Not important!’ I squeaked, urging him to get to the point

‘Right, so, Patrick wrote a song about him. It was nice, I guess. Pretty cool song anyway. It made Dwayne happy anyhow. Then, Dwayne wanted more from Patrick…’

He trailed off. I didn’t get it.

‘He wanted…?’ I prized, drawing circles with my finger on my thigh

‘You know…’ He said awkwardly, ‘Sex…’

‘Right…’ I answer, trying not to sound too creeped out

‘Yeah, well, Patrick didn’t want that. Patrick was …uh…’ He ran his hand through his hair, not wanting to say it.

‘A virgin?’ I ask, extra loud, just to see his face go bright red

‘Dude…’ He hissed, ‘Uncool…’

‘Sorry,’ I laugh, ‘Please continue’

‘Well, Dwayne wouldn’t accept a no…’ He wouldn’t look me in the eye, a lump in my throat appeared as I felt I knew where this was going, ‘Dwayne tried to… I mean... You know…’

I scribbled hard on the paper, causing long black scratch marks along my once white paper.

‘Luckily, his parents walked in before it got…bad…’ Joe finished, crossing his arms, ‘Dwayne moved away a couple of days ago…’

‘Jesus…’ I whispered, tears threatening, ‘I can’t believe… And he thought that I…’

‘So…’ He tried to pick up the conversation again but failed.

I ripped out the top page and crumpled it into a ball. Throwing it to the bottom of the bed I straightened up the next page and held on to my pen. In messy handwriting I jot down a single line. Something simple.

‘Where is your boy tonight?’ Joe read over my shoulder, ‘What are you writing?’

‘Song’ I grunted, deep in concentration

‘For what?’ He asked, watching intently as my pen danced across the lined paper

‘27th’ I reply, trying hard not to smile, my tongue sticking out of the side of my mouth

‘For his birthday?’ Joe fluttered his eyelids, I punched him

‘Yes, for his birthday’ I smile, adding another line

‘I hope he is a gentlemen’ Joe snorted, ‘Yeah, right’

‘Don’t you have anywhere else to be?’ I shoot a frown at him, playfully of course

‘Actually I have got stuff to do,’ Joe retorted, pulling himself off of the bed, ‘I’ve still got a bit further to go on Zelda’

‘Do you have anything constructive to do?’ I hoot

‘Yeah,’ He looked thoughtful for a moment, ‘I’m going to pass the bar exam this afternoon’

‘Get..’ I smile, but then the best idea yet hit me, ‘Wait a second Joe…’

I pulled the apartment keys out of my pocket and threw them to him. He looked at me, confused.

‘What do you want me to do?’ He asked, moving the keys around in his hand.

‘Well, someone needs to look after Hemmy for a start’ I say nodding

‘Patrick already took him to my house’ He blushed, rubbing the back of his neck.

‘Okay…’ I sigh, then beam, ‘Hey Joe… Do you know a place that can fix guitars?’

‘Yeah, why?’ He questioned, head tilted to the side, putting the keys in his pocket

‘I think I know what I’m going to get Patrick for his birthday’ I grin, scribbling a few more words down

It didn’t take long to explain my plan to him. He instantly proclaimed it to be brilliant. The second I was left alone again, I focused all my attention on my art. Yeah, art. My writing, barely legible but it was good enough.

Where is your boy tonight Patrick? I know he’s not a gentleman. To be honest, I highly doubt that he’ll find out what I know. You really are the last good thing about this part of town. My hands moving furiously, pen twirling and dotting my ‘I’s as I go along. I hoped he’d love this. Maybe this would prove that I’m not playing a game with him. It’ll prove that I’m not a complete asshole. Not completely anyway.

He probably hated me. At least I knew I’d have to see him again. He’s looking after Hemmy after all. I couldn’t believe all the shit he’d been through and I just made it worse. Tried to kill myself. He thought I tried to kill myself. Did I? I mean, it was an accident. I didn’t have to take all of those pills. I didn’t have to. I could have swallowed my pride and called him. Told him I needed help. If I hadn’t had tried to fix things on my own none of this would’ve happened.

It was my fault. Maybe he could forgive me. After all, I could be an accident but I’m still trying. That’s more than I can say for him.