Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > A Change of Pace
AN: I own nothing. I have this crazy feeling that if I put half as much effort into my schoolwork as I do this, I might actually get decent grades…
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Things had certainly started looking up; I’ve been hanging out with Ray more often, and memories of Jeff fade with the bruises he left. Even though I once thought I loved Jeff, I realize my childish naïveté and blindness when it comes to Jeff’s initial charm. Working two jobs, I often find it difficult to see Ray, so he still drops by the shop with white mochas and the occasional cinnamon roll (ah! he knows the way to my heart!).
Waking this morning with a groan, I ran out the door and down the street to catch the bus uptown. I could not be late this morning, no matter what. There was to be an old estate auction- yes, usually boring- but Max had taxed me to go and bid on his behalf to get the old geezer’s mint collection of Frank Miller novels. I certainly had my doubts about winning this one- it would be very pricey- but I had to at least try.
Slipping in the back door, I clutched my paddle as I sat in the back and watched in awe as yuppies in their weekend yoga pants and Uggs paid extraordinary prices for the ugliest paintings, carpets, golf clubs, and other boring crap that I would never consider owning. And finally! The moment I had been waiting for. Scooting to the edge of my seat, I prepared for battle.
“Showing here, a collection of Frank Miller graphic novels- individually sealed and preserved in their original, first edition state. Do I hear $200?”
Two hundred dollars? What a steal! I flung my paddle into the air “HERE!”
Looking around, I realized that no one else seemed interested. Max had given me a $1000 limit, and perhaps getting him such a buy would get me a little bonus…
And that’s when I heard it.
“$300!” I gasped as Jeff turned around and grinned at me. I hadn’t even noticed him here, and probably wouldn’t have come had I known he was going to be here. But, still within my budget, I engaged him in a bidding war.
Prices rose and my temper flared as we grew nearer my limit. He wasn’t going to let me have them. I wouldn’t win. Jeff knew this. And he must have realized what I was thinking, because all of a sudden, he jumped the price to $1,500. I was defeated. My face burned red as I stood and left.
Walking towards the bus stop, I pondered how I was going to break the news to Max. Ridiculously deep in thought and self-loathing, I didn’t even realize that I was being followed. Not until Jeff caught up with me.
“Shit!” He swung right around me and leaned against the wall, blocking my path entirely.
“Hey baby. I’ve missed you.” His voice was oily and sly. Naturally, I wanted to hurl, but there was still that little voice in my heart begging me to hear him out.
“What do you want?”
“Just to grab some coffee with an old friend.”
If there was anything Jeff and I ever were not, it was friends. But the bitter wind and that nagging voice won me over and I agreed to coffee, but no more.
“My car is in the garage back a block, I’ll drive.” And I reluctantly agreed; though I would much rather walk…
Opening the door for me, I sat in his front seat and hugged myself to keep warm. Finally the heater kicked on and we were on the road. I watched him as he drove, and some of the old attraction crept back to me as his shoulders and biceps rippled under his sweater vest. If nothing else, the man could dress himself. Trying desperately to think of Ray and how happy I am with him, and how miserable I was with Jeff, I followed him up the stairs to his loft for coffee.
Unable to keep my mouth shut, I asked what had been at the back of my mind since the bid-war. “Why the hell do you want a bunch of Frank Miller comics?”
Looking at me for a second, sizing me up and licking his lips, he answered me: “So I could offer you the opportunity to win them back from me.”
“What do you want?” I asked, though I had a horrible gut feeling that I knew what he wanted.
“I think you know…” Dammit!! Get out of my head!!
Screaming inside, I calmly answered him, “I don’t want them that much.”
All of a sudden he was against my body, trapping me between himself and the wall, and I couldn’t help kissing back as he ran his hands up and down my body- stopping and rubbing momentarily against the crotch of my jeans- eliciting an involuntary moan from my smothered lips. Holding my arms above my head, he continued his explorations: through my hair, under my shirt, and finally to the zipper of my pants. As we moved to the table, I felt drunk as he undressed me and I lay spread eagle on his breakfast table as he slipped out of his pants and into a condom. Remembering Ray, I tried to leave the kitchen and hunt for my clothes, but Jeff followed and swiftly threw me over his shoulder and carried me to the bedroom.
Binding my wrists to the bed posts, he stood momentarily to watch me struggle, and then went down on me as my struggles ceased. His warm tongue lapped and lips sucked as I lay back in intoxicated ecstasy, lamenting the immobility of my hands. Finished downstairs, Jeff moved slowly up my stomach until his teeth were grazing my nipples as he steadily thrust. Lifting my leg over his shoulder, he shoved deeper and eagerly groped my ass, thumb moving closer and closer…
I awoke hours later to be greeted by the cold darkness. My wrists had been untied, and I had been unceremoniously deposited in a naked heap on the couch. Looking around, I realized where I was, and what must have happened.
All at once I felt horrible. And sick. I ran to the bathroom and vomited for a long time. After resting my head on the cool tile for a while, I nearly cried as I recognized the empty bottle sitting by the sink. While drugged, I made a very stupid mistake. Passing a sleeping Jeff, I collected my clothes and ran out the door to the bus and back to the safety of my apartment to cry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Try as I might, I could not remember anything between drinking coffee with Jeff and awaking on his couch. Assuming the worst had happened, I sat in the shower and cried as the hot water washed over my body. I felt so dirty. And what about Ray? He had been so good to me, and I go to my ex’s! God, I’m such a horrible person.
While in the shower, I hadn’t heard my phone ring, over and over. Nor had I heard the persistent pounding on the door. I knew nothing but the pain in my heart until the bathroom door opened and I heard Ray’s voice,
“Ana? Are you OK? I tried calling…” and that’s when he caught me sob. “Oh shit! Ana! How long have you been in here?!”
The water by now was running cold as Ray lifted me off the floor. Wrapping me in a towel, he carried me to the couch and held me as I cried into his chest.
“I’m so, so sorry!” I whispered as I reached into my bag and showed him the bottle I had snagged from Jeff’s bathroom. “I ran into Jeff at an auction, for work, and then I woke up on his couch, and I’m so sorry! I don’t remember what happened.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and steadied myself for the blow as Ray read the label on the bottle. And then something unexpected happened: I felt his arms tighten around me and his lips lightly kiss my forehead. He wasn’t mad?
“Are you Ok, Ana? Do you need to go see a doctor?” I couldn’t quite understand why he was being so nice.
“No. You’re not mad? Why?” In his gaze I found peace, and my tears subsided some.
“Ana, don’t you understand? This wasn’t your fault. You were drugged. He took advantage of you, and I have a feeling this wasn’t the first time. Look,” he said pushing the hair from my face,” you need a change of scenery. Why don’t you come stay with me tonight, and then in the morning, you can come up to New York and see what I do for a living. Ok?”
I agreed and packed my overnight bag while wondering why I hadn’t ever gone to one of Ray’s shows before…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Things had certainly started looking up; I’ve been hanging out with Ray more often, and memories of Jeff fade with the bruises he left. Even though I once thought I loved Jeff, I realize my childish naïveté and blindness when it comes to Jeff’s initial charm. Working two jobs, I often find it difficult to see Ray, so he still drops by the shop with white mochas and the occasional cinnamon roll (ah! he knows the way to my heart!).
Waking this morning with a groan, I ran out the door and down the street to catch the bus uptown. I could not be late this morning, no matter what. There was to be an old estate auction- yes, usually boring- but Max had taxed me to go and bid on his behalf to get the old geezer’s mint collection of Frank Miller novels. I certainly had my doubts about winning this one- it would be very pricey- but I had to at least try.
Slipping in the back door, I clutched my paddle as I sat in the back and watched in awe as yuppies in their weekend yoga pants and Uggs paid extraordinary prices for the ugliest paintings, carpets, golf clubs, and other boring crap that I would never consider owning. And finally! The moment I had been waiting for. Scooting to the edge of my seat, I prepared for battle.
“Showing here, a collection of Frank Miller graphic novels- individually sealed and preserved in their original, first edition state. Do I hear $200?”
Two hundred dollars? What a steal! I flung my paddle into the air “HERE!”
Looking around, I realized that no one else seemed interested. Max had given me a $1000 limit, and perhaps getting him such a buy would get me a little bonus…
And that’s when I heard it.
“$300!” I gasped as Jeff turned around and grinned at me. I hadn’t even noticed him here, and probably wouldn’t have come had I known he was going to be here. But, still within my budget, I engaged him in a bidding war.
Prices rose and my temper flared as we grew nearer my limit. He wasn’t going to let me have them. I wouldn’t win. Jeff knew this. And he must have realized what I was thinking, because all of a sudden, he jumped the price to $1,500. I was defeated. My face burned red as I stood and left.
Walking towards the bus stop, I pondered how I was going to break the news to Max. Ridiculously deep in thought and self-loathing, I didn’t even realize that I was being followed. Not until Jeff caught up with me.
“Shit!” He swung right around me and leaned against the wall, blocking my path entirely.
“Hey baby. I’ve missed you.” His voice was oily and sly. Naturally, I wanted to hurl, but there was still that little voice in my heart begging me to hear him out.
“What do you want?”
“Just to grab some coffee with an old friend.”
If there was anything Jeff and I ever were not, it was friends. But the bitter wind and that nagging voice won me over and I agreed to coffee, but no more.
“My car is in the garage back a block, I’ll drive.” And I reluctantly agreed; though I would much rather walk…
Opening the door for me, I sat in his front seat and hugged myself to keep warm. Finally the heater kicked on and we were on the road. I watched him as he drove, and some of the old attraction crept back to me as his shoulders and biceps rippled under his sweater vest. If nothing else, the man could dress himself. Trying desperately to think of Ray and how happy I am with him, and how miserable I was with Jeff, I followed him up the stairs to his loft for coffee.
Unable to keep my mouth shut, I asked what had been at the back of my mind since the bid-war. “Why the hell do you want a bunch of Frank Miller comics?”
Looking at me for a second, sizing me up and licking his lips, he answered me: “So I could offer you the opportunity to win them back from me.”
“What do you want?” I asked, though I had a horrible gut feeling that I knew what he wanted.
“I think you know…” Dammit!! Get out of my head!!
Screaming inside, I calmly answered him, “I don’t want them that much.”
All of a sudden he was against my body, trapping me between himself and the wall, and I couldn’t help kissing back as he ran his hands up and down my body- stopping and rubbing momentarily against the crotch of my jeans- eliciting an involuntary moan from my smothered lips. Holding my arms above my head, he continued his explorations: through my hair, under my shirt, and finally to the zipper of my pants. As we moved to the table, I felt drunk as he undressed me and I lay spread eagle on his breakfast table as he slipped out of his pants and into a condom. Remembering Ray, I tried to leave the kitchen and hunt for my clothes, but Jeff followed and swiftly threw me over his shoulder and carried me to the bedroom.
Binding my wrists to the bed posts, he stood momentarily to watch me struggle, and then went down on me as my struggles ceased. His warm tongue lapped and lips sucked as I lay back in intoxicated ecstasy, lamenting the immobility of my hands. Finished downstairs, Jeff moved slowly up my stomach until his teeth were grazing my nipples as he steadily thrust. Lifting my leg over his shoulder, he shoved deeper and eagerly groped my ass, thumb moving closer and closer…
I awoke hours later to be greeted by the cold darkness. My wrists had been untied, and I had been unceremoniously deposited in a naked heap on the couch. Looking around, I realized where I was, and what must have happened.
All at once I felt horrible. And sick. I ran to the bathroom and vomited for a long time. After resting my head on the cool tile for a while, I nearly cried as I recognized the empty bottle sitting by the sink. While drugged, I made a very stupid mistake. Passing a sleeping Jeff, I collected my clothes and ran out the door to the bus and back to the safety of my apartment to cry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Try as I might, I could not remember anything between drinking coffee with Jeff and awaking on his couch. Assuming the worst had happened, I sat in the shower and cried as the hot water washed over my body. I felt so dirty. And what about Ray? He had been so good to me, and I go to my ex’s! God, I’m such a horrible person.
While in the shower, I hadn’t heard my phone ring, over and over. Nor had I heard the persistent pounding on the door. I knew nothing but the pain in my heart until the bathroom door opened and I heard Ray’s voice,
“Ana? Are you OK? I tried calling…” and that’s when he caught me sob. “Oh shit! Ana! How long have you been in here?!”
The water by now was running cold as Ray lifted me off the floor. Wrapping me in a towel, he carried me to the couch and held me as I cried into his chest.
“I’m so, so sorry!” I whispered as I reached into my bag and showed him the bottle I had snagged from Jeff’s bathroom. “I ran into Jeff at an auction, for work, and then I woke up on his couch, and I’m so sorry! I don’t remember what happened.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and steadied myself for the blow as Ray read the label on the bottle. And then something unexpected happened: I felt his arms tighten around me and his lips lightly kiss my forehead. He wasn’t mad?
“Are you Ok, Ana? Do you need to go see a doctor?” I couldn’t quite understand why he was being so nice.
“No. You’re not mad? Why?” In his gaze I found peace, and my tears subsided some.
“Ana, don’t you understand? This wasn’t your fault. You were drugged. He took advantage of you, and I have a feeling this wasn’t the first time. Look,” he said pushing the hair from my face,” you need a change of scenery. Why don’t you come stay with me tonight, and then in the morning, you can come up to New York and see what I do for a living. Ok?”
I agreed and packed my overnight bag while wondering why I hadn’t ever gone to one of Ray’s shows before…
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