Categories > Books > Harry Potter > When Vernon Didn't Miss
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When Vernon Didn't Miss
(#) lycus 2007-12-15
Wow that chapter was very reflective, it was good to have people central to the story take a look in the mirror for once and ask themselves are they doing what's right. now I know that I basically asked for the plot when I asked questions the last time so this time I won't ask questions that are that important in the story. so my questions are will harry still be hurt in the quidditch match and if he is will lockheart still remove the bones in his arm and what will jason do to lockheart if he does, would it be wrong if lockheart lost bladder control in front of the students if jason threatened him.Author's response
No rogue bludger, so it will just be Harry v. Draco. I think that's in 2 chapters
"T"When Vernon Didn't Miss
(#) pstibbons 2007-12-16
Great chapter. Thanks. I definitely enjoy this fic, and the amount of prominence Hermione gets in terms of other references to her.
What I'd like to see explored most is interaction between Hermione and Davis and Greengrass. I'd like to see HErmione have a life away from Harry too. I like the fact that Harry sees that she does know nearly everyone in their year.
Surprised Hermione and Luna haven't argued yet (however intellectual the argument) about magical creatures. One point most authors forget (dunno if you're among them, since you do the best H/Hr/Luna anywhere) is that Luna's creatures may well exist under a different name.
Hermione could be reminded that no-one thought a creature like the coelecanth could have existed before it was discovered.
Luna could be reminded that Hermione is a Greek - she needs proof of something to believe it. (On the other hand, Hermione is still a young Greek - she believes in books.)
I like the way you've confined Ron and Lockhart to general irrelevance.
And Snape's fear. That is good.
I don't believe in the view that James Potter was 100% right and Snape 100% wrong. I think James was the kind of person who would have used Love Potions on Lily Evans.
Harry taking Hermione under the protection of House Potter - yeah, great stuff. Hope she invites Harry and Luna (I suppose) over to House Granger next holiday (Christmas?) and that they never go to the Burrow.
Doing anything with the Weasley twins?
I read this on FictionAlley, but I really hate reading fics there. Can you please post this in more places, like ffnet and (if valid) Portkey?
When Vernon Didn't Miss
(#) Geovanni_Luciano 2007-12-19
This was a very introspective chapter. Not something I wouldn't expect from you but at the same point this whole story is based on a new class of magical user that you've designed. I do hope that it gets a little more interesting. Obviously you've incorporated JKR's little post story expose' on Albus' alternative lifestyle. In seeing only a couple of stories incorporate this, I do find it rather odd that the theme maintains the same with Albus' motivation. I hope for some more originality and interesting plots in this story. Ron is a loose end that needs to be clearly defined. Not as close as he once was is the meandering of a subplot to be exploited. Snape in love with Lily has been done in the past by other's as well but it's rarely done well, or believable when there's an actual romantic relationship. I do hope that you at least explore reasons or revelations, if only to him, as to why his affections were not shared or if his declaring her "Mudblood" was effective enough in solidifying her choice.
Geovanni LucianoWhen Vernon Didn't Miss
(#) brad 2007-12-27
"Might equals right" ... having read your reply to the review I lodged a couple of weeks ago for the previous chapter - your comparison of wizarding society to the old west - I can appreciate even more the little chat Harry had with Minerva here.
"The God was named for me" - heh.
Snape seems more restrained in this story than your 'Brother Z' ... at least for now. Maybe that should be 'more scared'. :-)
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