Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Let's Make This Last Forever
By the time the car stopped rolling, I was tired of talking. As a matter of fact, that was an understatement. My jaw felt like it was going to fall off from all of the chattering I had been doing with the two of them. And despite my gossiping at school with my friends, I had seldom felt that feeling. At least not in a while, I hadn’t. So as the conversation, which was somewhat similar to the one I had with Ryan on that first wonderful night. Only this time, my mouth was going twice as much as a result of talk to two people instead of just… one. Not that I minded Brendon. He was actually really nice and extremely funny. But the pain in my jaw didn’t have to influence my mood. It only had a slight impact, and caused me to be a bit quieter, as I usually was.
“Are we here?” I looked to Ryan with hopeful eyes. Mind you, I wasn’t sure of what I was hopeful for. He just nodded plainly an instant before Jon and Spencer opened their doors and stepped out of the car. I sighed. He looked at me questioningly. And meanwhile, Brendon was staring at the two of us with a seemingly interested look on his face. Or he must have been doing something of the sort to cause Ryan to break his eye contact with me and stare threateningly at Brendon. He had a knack for doing that to people when he was with me. It gave me an odd sense of comfort to know that he was at least standing up for me in some way, even if I was younger than him by quite a few years.
The three of us climbed out eventually. Brendon first, then me, then Ryan. Once out of the car, Brendon started off to catch up with Spencer and Jon. I wanted to move, but my feet wouldn’t let me. It was something about being in the cold winter air that reminded me of home. And then I realized how much I wanted to be there.
“Come on, you two!” Brendon called when he turned back once. I was still standing there with a small lurching feeling in my stomach.
There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.
As I thought of the classical movie line, I felt warmth on my shoulders. Once I looked down, I remembered that Ryan was still standing behind me. His hands were the source of the comforting warmth. “Are you okay?” he asked while placing a hand on my chin and turning my face so that I could look at him.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
Liar. Teenage fan girl of a liar. And what was even worse than those guilt-filled names that were pushing down into my brain was the fact that I regretted lying to him. Even if it was done with good intentions.
“Well, let’s not lose them, then. Okay?”
I put on a false smile and nodded.
Faker. Lying faker with a bad smile to begin with.
It didn’t take much to realize that my emotions were going from bad to first all too rapidly.
But even as it was all going on inside my head, Ryan grabbed my hand and pulled me along with him into the building. He didn’t have to pull that hard, though. The need to get out of the cold air kept my feet moving.
_________________
“How is everybody doing tonight?!”
Oh, besides the fact that I’m here for Ryan, horrible. I haven’t a friend within at least 100 miles. Probably more. And it is way too fucking loud in here with all of your screaming fan girls. I hate it here. I want to go home.
“I’m Brendon Urie, and we are Panic! At the Disco.”
Like we didn’t already know that.
I hated it. I loathed and despised it. Just sitting there, up in the balcony, watching the band play without a friend in the world. Not even an acquaintance.
“Say, Ryan?”
My head snapped up immediately upon hearing his name. He merely stood up straight and looked over at Brendon with his mouth near the microphone.
“What was your first date like?”
What kind of a question is that?
“Well, I’d rather not get into the details.” I swore that he glanced up at me from the stage, but then just looked back at Brendon, seemingly waiting.
“But wouldn’t you like to sing a song for that special person?”
That was when it clarified in my mind: Brendon was on drugs. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that dramatic, but who honestly talks about that when you’re performing.
“I don’t know. Would I?”
He turned to the small crowd and waited for them to scream.
“In that case, this song is by a band called Blink 182.”
You are not serious.
“It’s entitled ‘First Date.’”
With the sound of the drums, the song began, one that was so familiar to my ears. I pretty much swooned as he started singing.
/“In the car, I just can’t wait
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it’s lame to dance?”/
I didn’t believe it at first, but I actually got the hint that the song was about me. Why else would Ryan have been singing? I couldn’t think of a plausible reason. I was just so surprised that the rest of them had agreed to play it. Just for me.
/“Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn’t know what to wear?
I’m just scared of what you think.
You make me nervous so I really can’t eat.”/
Once the shock settled in, I started to shed my pessimistic attitude and loosen up. If it was my song, it was supposed to make me blush. It was supposed to make me happy. It was supposed to make me admire him even more than I already did.
/“Let’s go, don’t wait
This night’s almost over
Honest, let’s make
This night last forever
Forever and ever
Let’s make this last forever”/
That was exactly it. “Let’s make this last forever.” I wanted to. I needed to. I couldn’t go back home. I’d have been in major trouble and my chances of seeing him again would have been cut down even more. As true as that was, none of it was going through my head as the music came to my ears, through his voice.
/“When you smile, I melt inside
I’m not worthy for a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you.
I’m jealous of everybody in the room”/
It made me blush – how he could make the words his own and make them so fitting even if they weren’t his own. He might not have liked his voice, but it gave me that warm feeling inside, similar to when I kissed him.
/“Please don’t look at me with those eyes
Please don’t hint that you’re capable of lies
I dread the thought of our very first kiss
A target that I’m probably gonna miss”/
Finally, as he kept on singing, and the sound was becoming recognizable to my ears, I loosened up and just screamed at the top of my lungs. No one turned back to look at me, but even if they did, I wouldn’t have cared. I just loved being there in that moment, listening to the song that was dedicated to me.
/“Forever and ever
Let’s make this last forever”/
“Are we here?” I looked to Ryan with hopeful eyes. Mind you, I wasn’t sure of what I was hopeful for. He just nodded plainly an instant before Jon and Spencer opened their doors and stepped out of the car. I sighed. He looked at me questioningly. And meanwhile, Brendon was staring at the two of us with a seemingly interested look on his face. Or he must have been doing something of the sort to cause Ryan to break his eye contact with me and stare threateningly at Brendon. He had a knack for doing that to people when he was with me. It gave me an odd sense of comfort to know that he was at least standing up for me in some way, even if I was younger than him by quite a few years.
The three of us climbed out eventually. Brendon first, then me, then Ryan. Once out of the car, Brendon started off to catch up with Spencer and Jon. I wanted to move, but my feet wouldn’t let me. It was something about being in the cold winter air that reminded me of home. And then I realized how much I wanted to be there.
“Come on, you two!” Brendon called when he turned back once. I was still standing there with a small lurching feeling in my stomach.
There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.
As I thought of the classical movie line, I felt warmth on my shoulders. Once I looked down, I remembered that Ryan was still standing behind me. His hands were the source of the comforting warmth. “Are you okay?” he asked while placing a hand on my chin and turning my face so that I could look at him.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
Liar. Teenage fan girl of a liar. And what was even worse than those guilt-filled names that were pushing down into my brain was the fact that I regretted lying to him. Even if it was done with good intentions.
“Well, let’s not lose them, then. Okay?”
I put on a false smile and nodded.
Faker. Lying faker with a bad smile to begin with.
It didn’t take much to realize that my emotions were going from bad to first all too rapidly.
But even as it was all going on inside my head, Ryan grabbed my hand and pulled me along with him into the building. He didn’t have to pull that hard, though. The need to get out of the cold air kept my feet moving.
_________________
“How is everybody doing tonight?!”
Oh, besides the fact that I’m here for Ryan, horrible. I haven’t a friend within at least 100 miles. Probably more. And it is way too fucking loud in here with all of your screaming fan girls. I hate it here. I want to go home.
“I’m Brendon Urie, and we are Panic! At the Disco.”
Like we didn’t already know that.
I hated it. I loathed and despised it. Just sitting there, up in the balcony, watching the band play without a friend in the world. Not even an acquaintance.
“Say, Ryan?”
My head snapped up immediately upon hearing his name. He merely stood up straight and looked over at Brendon with his mouth near the microphone.
“What was your first date like?”
What kind of a question is that?
“Well, I’d rather not get into the details.” I swore that he glanced up at me from the stage, but then just looked back at Brendon, seemingly waiting.
“But wouldn’t you like to sing a song for that special person?”
That was when it clarified in my mind: Brendon was on drugs. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that dramatic, but who honestly talks about that when you’re performing.
“I don’t know. Would I?”
He turned to the small crowd and waited for them to scream.
“In that case, this song is by a band called Blink 182.”
You are not serious.
“It’s entitled ‘First Date.’”
With the sound of the drums, the song began, one that was so familiar to my ears. I pretty much swooned as he started singing.
/“In the car, I just can’t wait
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it’s lame to dance?”/
I didn’t believe it at first, but I actually got the hint that the song was about me. Why else would Ryan have been singing? I couldn’t think of a plausible reason. I was just so surprised that the rest of them had agreed to play it. Just for me.
/“Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn’t know what to wear?
I’m just scared of what you think.
You make me nervous so I really can’t eat.”/
Once the shock settled in, I started to shed my pessimistic attitude and loosen up. If it was my song, it was supposed to make me blush. It was supposed to make me happy. It was supposed to make me admire him even more than I already did.
/“Let’s go, don’t wait
This night’s almost over
Honest, let’s make
This night last forever
Forever and ever
Let’s make this last forever”/
That was exactly it. “Let’s make this last forever.” I wanted to. I needed to. I couldn’t go back home. I’d have been in major trouble and my chances of seeing him again would have been cut down even more. As true as that was, none of it was going through my head as the music came to my ears, through his voice.
/“When you smile, I melt inside
I’m not worthy for a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you.
I’m jealous of everybody in the room”/
It made me blush – how he could make the words his own and make them so fitting even if they weren’t his own. He might not have liked his voice, but it gave me that warm feeling inside, similar to when I kissed him.
/“Please don’t look at me with those eyes
Please don’t hint that you’re capable of lies
I dread the thought of our very first kiss
A target that I’m probably gonna miss”/
Finally, as he kept on singing, and the sound was becoming recognizable to my ears, I loosened up and just screamed at the top of my lungs. No one turned back to look at me, but even if they did, I wouldn’t have cared. I just loved being there in that moment, listening to the song that was dedicated to me.
/“Forever and ever
Let’s make this last forever”/
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