FicWad

I took a deep breath and looked into his eyes, “Maybe she wasn’t dead.” I whispered.
Immediately he began shaking his head. “Laura, I’m sure she was dead. All that blood.”
“That isn’t always a sign of death.”
“But she was so cold.”
“You woke up and she was beside you, cold. What did you do?”
“I got out of the bed. I stumbled across the room and ended up in a corner like a fucking baby.”
“What did Ray do?”
He didn’t answer. I could see the look of disbelief on his face.
“I know this is hard for you. I’m not saying Ray lied but at this point we have to consider all possibilities.”
“He wouldn’t do that to me. He fucking wouldn’t.”
I reached out and brushed the hair from his eyes, “Please don’t be angry with me. I wouldn’t say this if I didn’t feel I had to.”
“No, she was dead. If you could have seen the look on his face….you’d understand.”
“Okay, then tell me what happened? You were in the corner…”
“Fucked up as hell.”
“Okay, fucked up as hell. What did Ray do?”
His eyes grew misty, “He went over to the bed and touched her face. Then he fell to his knees by the bed and just kept saying her name over and over.” He stopped and I waited. Finally I had to urge him.
“Go on, please.”
He took a moment to gather his memories. “Finally Ray stood up and walked over to me. I thought he was gonna beat the shit out of me. I fucking wanted him to. Instead he told me to stop being a fucking asshole and get it together. He said we had to handle things.”
“The woman he loved was dead and his mind slipped into handle things mode?”
“Laura I was in shock. If I hadn’t been I would have fucking realized how he was acting. How the fuck couldn’t I see how much he cared for her? I can’t believe I didn’t see it. I so fucking stupid I thought he was upset because of me. He was dying inside and I didn’t see it.”
“You were in shock.” I said softly.
He closed his eyes.
“Talk to me.” I touched his cheek. Once more I repeated, “The woman he loved was dead and he told you that you had to handle the situation.”
“You have to understand that is how Ray reacts. That is how he is. He told me we had to deal with things.”
He knew Ray much better than me so I accepted his words. “How did he want you to handle things?”
“He said we had to get Merri out of there. He told me that if anyone found out it would be the end of everything. He kicked me and told me to get up. To act like a man.”
“So you did.”
“I got up but I couldn’t look over at the bed. I knew he was disgusted with me. He told me to get the fuck out and he’s take care of everything.”
“Where did you go?”
“Ray had me pull his car into the garage and close the door. That way he could carry her body through the back and into the garage without anyone seeing. I opened the truck and he carried her body wrapped up in my sheet. I couldn’t even fucking watch as he put her in the trunk.” He stopped and I wiped his eyes for him. “I couldn’t fucking watch.”
I moved closer to him and hugged him tightly. “So he took her by himself and buried her?”
“He told me about the property were he was taking her. I was supposed to make sure Mikey didn’t come home until we took care of the mattress. I did that. I called Mikey but he wasn’t planning on coming home anyway.”
“When did Ray get back?”
“It was several hours later. He looked like shit. He had brought back his brother truck so we could get the mattress out of the house. I went with him to burn the mattress and the rest of the sheets,”
“Where?”
“Same property. There used to be an old house there and the old dump they used was still there, back in the woods. We carried the mattress there doused it with gasoline and stood back to watch it burn.” His voice was full of pain, “He stood there watching the flames. He was crying.”
Neither of us spoke for several minutes. Gerard rolled over on his back but kept pulled me with him so I was partially lying on his chest. "On the way back we stopped and I bought another mattress. If Mom ever noticed the missing sheet set she didn't say anything."
"Honey, I need to talk to Helen."
"No" he answered again.
"Look if Helen isn't involved in this then someone is using her. Someone is making her believe that her daughter is coming home."
"Why would anyone do something as fucked up as that?"
"I have no idea. Helen seemed like a very nice woman. I don't want to think someone would get her hopes up like this. I need to talk to her. Just visit, she asked me to come to see her anytime."
"Then I will go with you."
"You can't you are on tour. We can't draw any more attention. You can't go with me."
"I can't let you go." He stroked my hair. "I need you with me."
I understood what he was saying. He needs my support since he wouldn't be drinking.
"You understand, don't you?" His tone was almost pleading.
"Yeah, Baby, I understand. We'll see how this plays out for a while."
We held each other tightly for several minutes. Finally he spoke.
"You hungry?" He asked changing the subject. One can only discuss life-shattering topics for so long.
"Kinda" Actually I was starving.
"Should we go get something?"
"I don't wanna leave this bed." I answered honestly.
"Take out?"
"Excellent." I got up and reached the phone book. I located a Chinese take out that would deliver to the motel. Minutes later we had food on the way. I got back into bed next to him and saw he was smiling. "What?"
"Nothing."
I leaned over and pressed my lips to his, "What?"
"It just dawned on me how sweet you are being."
My eyes narrowed, "What?"
"Sweet. You know, nice. You haven't said one fucking random thing. You're just...sweet."
"I'm sweet." I repeated slowly. "So what, you gotta problem with sweet?"
This time he laughed, "See now there's the attitude."
` Okay I was slowly seeing what he was getting at. "I'm being too nice, is that it?"
"No, not at all. It's just a side of you I don't see very often."
"Well maybe getting into a knock down fight with my husband sort put a damper on my mood."
"There you go. That's my Laura." He reached out to me but I scooted away.
"Hold up there, Buddy. I want a better explanation."
He shook his head, "I can't explain it any better. I know we just went through a fucking hell together. So the sweet personality makes sense."
"You would prefer me to be mean?"
"Not mean, feisty. I love your fire."
"I'll give you fire." I picked up the pillow and tossed it on his head. He didn't move it, he just laughed. I could hear his muffled laughter.
I rolled my eyes, "Dumb ass."
"Bet you just rolled your eyes when you said that." came the comment from under the pillow.
"Fuck yeah I did." I pulled the pillow off his head. He was grinning.
"You know I can control my random comments."
He snorted.
"Well I can."
"Sure."
"Maybe I just don't feel like being playful right now." I said. I saw his smile slip. "Well no actually I am in the mood but the food is coming so I can't."
"Food is coming so you can't." He repeated.
I nodded, "Yeah, cause if I got playful with you right now you wouldn't be able to answer the door." I licked my lips, "It's be too painful for you to walk."
“Painful for me to walk?"
"Stop being a parrot. Yeah, painful." I leaned over him letting my bare breasts dangle inches above his mouth. "You'd be way too hard."
Oh yeah, he moaned. "Make me hard." He said trying to grab me.
"What about the food?" I batted my eyelashes.
"Fuck the food."
"I dunno. I guess the egg roll would be okay for that."
He blinked then burst out laughing. "Nice visual."
I shrugged, "Well you said fuck the food."
"You know that's not how I meant it."
"So just what did you mean?"
He pulled me down on top of him. "Wanna see?"
Fuck yeah I wanted to see.