FicWad

‘Jesus’ Joe whistled, shaking his head ‘See, I don’t get that. If someone was like that to me, love or not, I’d be out of there so fast..’

‘Then you clearly don’t get love’ Patrick snorted, making both of us snap our heads to him, ‘What?’

‘And what would you know on that matter?’ I asked, raising an eyebrow

‘Well…’ He sighed, ‘You heard about Dwayne’

‘Yeah, you left that asshole though, you’re not with him now’ I snorted, crossing my arms, raising my voice a little unintentionally

‘Obviously Joe didn’t tell the full story’ Patrick got to his feet and stormed out, I blinked in disbelief

Joe stared at his feet. He looked so guilty. I scowled at him. Dropping down next to him I stared daggers into the side of his head. Gripping tight on his shoulder I forced his gaze up. Unblinking, I frowned.

‘What didn’t you tell me?’ I snarled, making Joe tense

‘Patrick didn’t leave Dwayne’ Joe started slowly, apologetically, ‘Dwayne left him’

‘What the…’ I was in complete awe, ‘But Dwayne…’

‘Patrick loved him…regardless’ Joe shrugged, ‘I didn’t get it back then either’

‘Shit…’ I whispered under my breath

‘He was fucking devestated when Dwayne left’ Joe avoided my eyes, ‘He didn’t even care that his parents kicked him out, he wanted him back’

‘This was…what..?.. A week ago?’ I was fuming

‘Umm…’ Joe tried to retort but I didn’t need an answer

‘So, what am I? A rebound?’ I was boiling with anger, partly at Joe for not telling me, ‘Does he still love Dwayne?’

‘I don’t know, man…’ Joe started again, but I cut across

‘Fuck…’ I growled, walking back and forth, ‘This is so stupid… I can’t believe this shit…’

Joe stood in front of me, stopping me in my tracks. Grabbing me and holding me still, his eyebrow drooped in the middle. He looked like he was going to hit me.

‘Listen…’ Joe roared, not breaking his stare, ‘Patrick’s been through shit, okay. I’ve told you before, don’t you dare hurt him. Don’t you fucking dare! So, get your ass upstairs and talk to him. Don’t start throwing accusations around just yet. Jesus, Pete. You’ve been with him for just over a day. Get a fucking grip! You’re sounding like Alex for christ sake.’

‘Technically we’re not even together’ I mumbled, angrily without thinking

Joe paused, staying silent for a little while. He calmed down slightly.

‘Dude, please don’t make me beat your ass into next week’ Joe huffed, letting me go, ‘I don’t want you to question that again, kay? You want to be with him, right? He wants to be with you. I thought you writing that song and Patrick loving it was kinda the beginning of you two dating. Hell, he kept calling himself your boyfriend all of yesterday’

‘Sorry…’ I answered, wishing I could take that back ‘I’ll.. I’ll go up to him’

I couldn’t believe I was managing to screw this up already. One day. Just one day and I’m back to my old self again. Admittedly, I suck in relationships. I’m jealous of everyone. If there’s someone I like then I want them to be mine and only mine. Not in a possesive way, of course, but that’s how it should be right? One guy and one… other guy. So not used to that. So, I climb the stairs to the kitchen. No, I practically crawl up the stairs, heart too heavy to stand up tall. What if Patrick still loved Dwayne? Where does that leave me? Assuming Dwayne left him on the day Patrick got kicked out, that was six days ago. Can you get over someone in six days? Hell, took me a whole three years to get over Ash.

Patrick was sat outside on the cerb. His head was held in his hands, his knees up, elbows resting on them. He looked pitiful. I exited through the kitchen door and just stood behind him, trying to find the right words. By now, with my brain ticking over, I didn’t even know if I needed to ask. I didn’t want this to destroy us but how can you love more than one person? Maybe Patrick didn’t love me. Well, maybe he didn’t even like me. I was just a rebound right? Jesus, that day he freaked out when I kissed him. Was it because he still loved Dwayne? Because, even though they were over, he felt as if he was being unfaithful?

‘Yes’ Patrick sighed, head down

‘What?’ I asked, stunned, legs ready to give way

‘It’s true…’ He lifted his hat and ran his fingers through his strawberry blond hair, ‘It’s hard, Pete’

‘You still…’ I didn’t have to finish, he nodded

Coming down to his side, I kept a small distance between us. So, it was official. I was nothing. Dwayne had his heart. I didn’t want us to end. I liked Patrick. I really liked Patrick. If it wasn’t for Patrick, I think I’d probably still be with Ash. He’d probably still be with Dwayne. I was just a blip. A rebound. If I wasn’t part of his life maybe he would be happy. Instead of sat on the sidewalk with tears in his eyes. I moved away a little, adding to the gap between us.

‘This is it then…’ I snorted, ‘A grand total of one day’

‘What?’ Patrick hooted, wiping his cheek and looking at me

‘Well, it’s over isn’t it’ I sighed, turning away, ‘You just said you still loved him’

Silence again. I didn’t need to hear anymore. I’m a masochist but I don’t hate myself that much. Getting to my feet I consider running. Running away like I’ve done my whole life. We’ve struggled before, when we were still just friends. I got lucky once. Luck doesn’t strike anyone from the Wentz family more than once. It’s like damn lightning. I went to take a step but Patrick was attached to my leg. Like, seriously attached. He had his arms wrapped around it and his own legs too. It was ever so slightly bizzare. It even made me laugh a little.

‘What…’ I began when he looked up at me, grinning

‘Why is it over?’ He asked, pulling me down by my jean leg but just ending up almost de-pantsing me

‘Well… You love Dwayne!’ I cried out, still attempting an escape

‘And you love your mom! I’m so jealous!’ He yelled dramatically, my eyebrows dropped

‘What are you talking about?’ I sighed, trying to shake him off

‘Look…’ He bit my leg, ‘Stay still.. Sit down… We’ll talk like grownups, kay?’

That made me laugh. He was talking about being like an adult and he was bitting me. Bitting me and clinging on to my leg like a small child. I gave in, dropping down practically on top of him.

‘First of all…’ I exhaled, annoyed, ‘I don’t love my mom.. Secondly… What the hell am I to you if you still love Dwayne?’

‘My boyfriend?’ Patrick asked, arm around me, like he was questioning if we still were together

‘Well…Yeah… but..’ I stopped, Patrick put his finger on my lips

‘Dwayne was my first boyfriend…’ Patrick watched me intently, ‘My first love too, I guess… That sort of makes it hard to forget him… But I’ve got you now right? And, between you and me, I wouldn’t trade you back…’

I smiled but I didn’t really feel much better. Sure, I was enough now. Sure, he wouldn’t trade me back now. What about a couple of months down the line when I’ve annoyed the crap out of him? What about in a couple of years when our relationship runs dry? I sighed. Insecurities? You have no idea. What if Dwayne was more, much more than just a line in a song?