Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > the fact of the matter it that is just a matter of time
Chapter 40
And then he started whispering in my ear.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked.
“I…I didn’t want to see you…I didn’t want you to have anything with my daughter” I replied bluntly, feeling too much pain to try to make my words sound less hard. He unclasped his hand from mine and sat back on his chair abruptly, causing me to loose balance and almost fall off my chair. I balanced myself with the rim of the table and slid into my chair once more, taking all of my strength to look into his eyes. Of course, they were cast downward.
“You can’t possibly blame me for not wanting you to-“
“She was my kid, Gabrielle” He replied in a whisper, but by the way he pronounced my name and the whiteness of his knuckles I could tell he was as mad as I’d ever seen him.
“I was in pain, Gerard” I reminded him, “You left me shattered”
“You’re so selfish! Because of your cowardliness I’ll never see my first child, I’ll never meet her, I’ll never talk to her! If you had come to me she wouldn’t have had to go a bus/! /I would’ve driven her myself! She would’ve had a /home/!” He yelled, hitting the wood table with his open hand.
“Don’t you dare talk to me about being a coward! You dumped me because you didn’t have the guts to face your grandmother was dead! She-“ I couldn’t finish my sentence because Gerard has slapped me across the face savagely, both the blow and surprise had thrown me off my chair and made me fall into the floor violently. I heard people moving towards us as I scrambled to my feet and Gerard came closer.
“What makes you think she didn’t have a home, you ass? She did! Besides, you wouldn’t have stayed for long. You were too consumed in your self pity!”
Gerard threw his hand back to strike be again but by that time Ray and Bob’s arms were already stopping him from doing so. Frank was by my side instantly and Mikey was yelling at Gerard.
“What the fuck’s wrong with you, Gerard? Hurting a /woman/? GABRIELLE O’CONNOR OF ALL PEOPLE?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND SO BADLY?!-“
“Come on, I’ll get you upstairs…”Frankie whispered as he scooted me in his arms and carried me away from the violent screams. Donna was at the top of the stairs, fiddling with her bath robe so she could calm her boys down.
“What happened?!” Donna asked, noticing the reds on my knees and cheek.
“Gerard slapped her. And he-“Frank quickly explained but was cut off by Donna fuming down the stairs towards the kitchen. The yells were muffled a second afterwards and the house was silent by the time Frank had waited for me to wash my face and brush my teeth and slip beneath the blankets.
“I cause trouble everywhere I fucking go..:” I groaned.
“Hush…you don’t. Sleep…”
I tried to say something else but was silenced by Frank with a tender kiss on the lips. I pushed him away from me.
“/What in the world?!/” I stammered.
“Sorry. You looked too cute to let it pass. Won’t happen again, Jamia would kill me with an axe”
I laughed, “Jamia?”
“Current girlfriend, totally cawazzy”
“Frankie’s settling down?” I asked, totally amused.
“More like scared shitless of her…”
There was a soft knock on the door. I stared at it. Frankie raised his eyebrows at me as there was a second knock, a bit louder but equally gentle.
“Come in…”I said, not too sure id I did want someone else to come in. For the first time I had a true chance to appreciate Gerard’s appearance: his hair was greasy and tangled, falling to his shoulders. His face looked like a zombie: with deep circles under his eyes which were sunken just as his cheeks. He had lost a bit of weight, too, causing his simple array of black pants and band tee to hang a bit loosely on his anatomy.
“Can I have a word with you?”
Frank stood up and I grasped his hand, terrified. He took my hand away from me and signalled me with his eyes that he was going to be outside. I sighed and stood a bit straighter,
“If you must…”I told Gerard, who in turn, stepped forward and stood by my feet.
“Look, I wanted to apologize for striking you…I was so goddamn angry” He said in a not so convincing tone.
“Is this you or your mother speaking?” I asked sternly. He didn’t respond.
“You don’t have to fucking lie to me Gerard. I came here to tell you this. If it was for me I’d be leaving right now. Unfortunately your mother wants me here, and she’s been too good to me for me to break her heart” I taunted. I was sure he had understood the hint.
“It won’t kill me to be civil to you as long as you do the same for me and don’t be less than four feet away from me.”
“Do you honestly think I’d strike you again?” his voice raising a notch.
“I used to trust you, but I never trusted your temper” I replied calmly.
“Fine” Gerard exited the room and closed the door behind him a bit too roughly.
“What the fuck’s wrong with her?” He asked Frank, who made a face at him as he replied, “She’s a lady. There’s nothing wrong with /her/. And with that he entered my room and closed the door behind him. Gerard glared at my door, almost burning it with his fiery stare and went down to his room.
And then he started whispering in my ear.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked.
“I…I didn’t want to see you…I didn’t want you to have anything with my daughter” I replied bluntly, feeling too much pain to try to make my words sound less hard. He unclasped his hand from mine and sat back on his chair abruptly, causing me to loose balance and almost fall off my chair. I balanced myself with the rim of the table and slid into my chair once more, taking all of my strength to look into his eyes. Of course, they were cast downward.
“You can’t possibly blame me for not wanting you to-“
“She was my kid, Gabrielle” He replied in a whisper, but by the way he pronounced my name and the whiteness of his knuckles I could tell he was as mad as I’d ever seen him.
“I was in pain, Gerard” I reminded him, “You left me shattered”
“You’re so selfish! Because of your cowardliness I’ll never see my first child, I’ll never meet her, I’ll never talk to her! If you had come to me she wouldn’t have had to go a bus/! /I would’ve driven her myself! She would’ve had a /home/!” He yelled, hitting the wood table with his open hand.
“Don’t you dare talk to me about being a coward! You dumped me because you didn’t have the guts to face your grandmother was dead! She-“ I couldn’t finish my sentence because Gerard has slapped me across the face savagely, both the blow and surprise had thrown me off my chair and made me fall into the floor violently. I heard people moving towards us as I scrambled to my feet and Gerard came closer.
“What makes you think she didn’t have a home, you ass? She did! Besides, you wouldn’t have stayed for long. You were too consumed in your self pity!”
Gerard threw his hand back to strike be again but by that time Ray and Bob’s arms were already stopping him from doing so. Frank was by my side instantly and Mikey was yelling at Gerard.
“What the fuck’s wrong with you, Gerard? Hurting a /woman/? GABRIELLE O’CONNOR OF ALL PEOPLE?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND SO BADLY?!-“
“Come on, I’ll get you upstairs…”Frankie whispered as he scooted me in his arms and carried me away from the violent screams. Donna was at the top of the stairs, fiddling with her bath robe so she could calm her boys down.
“What happened?!” Donna asked, noticing the reds on my knees and cheek.
“Gerard slapped her. And he-“Frank quickly explained but was cut off by Donna fuming down the stairs towards the kitchen. The yells were muffled a second afterwards and the house was silent by the time Frank had waited for me to wash my face and brush my teeth and slip beneath the blankets.
“I cause trouble everywhere I fucking go..:” I groaned.
“Hush…you don’t. Sleep…”
I tried to say something else but was silenced by Frank with a tender kiss on the lips. I pushed him away from me.
“/What in the world?!/” I stammered.
“Sorry. You looked too cute to let it pass. Won’t happen again, Jamia would kill me with an axe”
I laughed, “Jamia?”
“Current girlfriend, totally cawazzy”
“Frankie’s settling down?” I asked, totally amused.
“More like scared shitless of her…”
There was a soft knock on the door. I stared at it. Frankie raised his eyebrows at me as there was a second knock, a bit louder but equally gentle.
“Come in…”I said, not too sure id I did want someone else to come in. For the first time I had a true chance to appreciate Gerard’s appearance: his hair was greasy and tangled, falling to his shoulders. His face looked like a zombie: with deep circles under his eyes which were sunken just as his cheeks. He had lost a bit of weight, too, causing his simple array of black pants and band tee to hang a bit loosely on his anatomy.
“Can I have a word with you?”
Frank stood up and I grasped his hand, terrified. He took my hand away from me and signalled me with his eyes that he was going to be outside. I sighed and stood a bit straighter,
“If you must…”I told Gerard, who in turn, stepped forward and stood by my feet.
“Look, I wanted to apologize for striking you…I was so goddamn angry” He said in a not so convincing tone.
“Is this you or your mother speaking?” I asked sternly. He didn’t respond.
“You don’t have to fucking lie to me Gerard. I came here to tell you this. If it was for me I’d be leaving right now. Unfortunately your mother wants me here, and she’s been too good to me for me to break her heart” I taunted. I was sure he had understood the hint.
“It won’t kill me to be civil to you as long as you do the same for me and don’t be less than four feet away from me.”
“Do you honestly think I’d strike you again?” his voice raising a notch.
“I used to trust you, but I never trusted your temper” I replied calmly.
“Fine” Gerard exited the room and closed the door behind him a bit too roughly.
“What the fuck’s wrong with her?” He asked Frank, who made a face at him as he replied, “She’s a lady. There’s nothing wrong with /her/. And with that he entered my room and closed the door behind him. Gerard glared at my door, almost burning it with his fiery stare and went down to his room.
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