FicWad

The stars shone bright in the sky and the chilly winds made their way to my face. I stood next to Gerard outside of the hotel. I hadn't spoken to him since yesterday, we were backstage at a show that was about to begin. For the past three months he and I had gotten close. Alicia, Mikey's wife is one of my best friends.I'm touring with them for the fist time. I work at MCR's record label. Alicia works with me. She got me the job, my dream job. I loved those guys to death. Ray had asked me if I had wanted to help with merchandise. Gerard was getting ready to go on. I had pulled him aside.

"Gerard?"

He turned to me. I was going to tell him how I felt.

"What?" I walked over and gave him a hug and whispered in his ear.

"I love you." My heart pounded furiously.

"Well, I don't love you." he whispered in reply. What kind of answer was that? My heart sank as he let go and walked on stage. I could have died right at that moment. I didn't understand as to why he was being so cruel. I would have felt a hundred times better if he hasn't said anything at all. No one had seen the kiss he gave me the day before. Sometimes he would hold my hand and let me fall asleep on his shoulder. He made me feel close to him. I didn't get it. We were standing outside waiting for Mikey and Alicia now. I had to talk to him. I watched him light a cigarette.He caught my stare.

"What?" he said.

"Why did you say what you did at the show?" I hoped my voice didn't show my fear of being shot down again.

"I said a lot of things to a lot of people." I didn't look but I could sense a smirk on his face.

"Why did you say you didn't love me?"

"Because I don't.", he said smiling.

What kind of sick and twisted shit was this? I wanted to burst into tears. He was being so cold. I was far form the point of comprehension. I didn't know this Gerard. The Gerard I knew was a warm, brilliant, sweet soul only looking for some understanding.
"Why are you acting like this?" my voice was breaking.

"There is no acting. This is who I am." His voice was firm.

"No, it's not. I know you." I said quietly.

"WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHO I AM?!" he got in my face. I couldn't look at him because I was terrified.

"Gerard, I thought I knew you." Tears began running down my face.
He backed down.

"After three months? Some knowledge you have." he laughed.

"Goodnight, Gerard." I was straining to hold back sobs.

"As you wish." he replied.

I walked into the hotel and ran to take refuge in the elevator. I didn't care about anything but crawling under the covers and sleeping for days on end.Unfortunately, I knew I couldn't do that. We had a show the next day.

"Forget him." I thought.
"I don't need him." I said to myself The elevator doors opened to reveal my floor.It was late so I tread carefully down the hotel halls.Oh my god, I hated him right then.

"I don't need him, screw him." I kept mumbling to myself.

"Screw me, huh? I'm sure we'd both like that." Gerard whispered in my ear, coming out of nowhere. I nearly screamed, he scared me so badly.

"Jesus. Don't do that." I huffed angrily.

"Why can't you just leave me be?" I said.He was walking beside me now and he gave me a sinister look.

"I don't know.--" he paused and grinned.All of the sudden Gerard pushed me to the wall and had me pinned, I tried to fight him but his strength over powered my own.

"You just have this certain something about you." He kissed me roughly. I tried to push him away as hard as I could. He finally let up and began to speak again.

“What’s a matter honey? I thought you liked me?”

“I liked the person I thought you were.” Coldly, I looked him straight in the eyes.

"Now get off me before I make sure you have nothing to make children with."

"As you wish, Christine."