Categories > Books > Harry Potter > A Twisted Timeline
Chapter 15: Twists and Turns
11 reviewsMuch to his displeasure, Harry is thrown back through time into his six year old body. As a result, Harry decides to contort the timeline, purely for his own amusement.
5Funny
Chapter Fifteen: Twists and Turns:
Scandal Pulverizes the Ministry of Magic:
Bartemius Crouch Senior Arrested For Orchestrating Son’s Death and Keeping Still Alive Son Under the Imperius Curse:
By Rita Skeeter:
Yesterday morning, Sirius Black received his long awaited trial and was cleared of all charges (see page eight for full story). On a normal day this would be front page news, but an even bigger story than an innocent man finally getting his freedom after being falsely branded as a fugitive broke. Indeed, Allan Michael Barone, the official spokesperson for both Sirius Black and Harry Potter, informed a full Wizengamot court that Bartemius Crouch’s son, Bartemius Crouch Junior still lived. Due to the use of a Polyjuice potion, Crouch’s dying wife switched places with the younger Bartemius Crouch. She died bearing his appearance, with Crouch subsequently faking his wife’s death. That grave is empty.
After making this statement, Barone and Black, along with Barone’s bodyguards left, missing in this reporter’s opinion to be the most chaotic scene in the Ministry of Magic. Crouch attempted to make a break for it, but that didn’t work out as planned. After a short, but intense fight, Ministry Aurors subdued Bartemius Crouch Senior and as a result, Crouch was sent straight to Azkaban prison.
With the elder Crouch detained, Aurors paid a visit to the Crouch Residence to look for the younger Crouch. After nearly an hour of searching, Bartemius Crouch Junior was found hidden under an Imperius Curse, his brain completely addled from being under an extremely powerful Imperius Curse for extensive periods of time. Early reports state that the younger Crouch is being kept in a warded, heavily guarded wing of Azkaban, with around the clock medical treatment being provided. In time, the damage that Crouch Senior did to his son may be reversed and then Crouch Junior will moved into the main Azkaban area, with the rest of the prisoners.
In perhaps a rather interesting twist of irony, Bartemius Crouch Senior will not receive a trial for his crimes, but rather be locked in Azkaban for the rest of his life in the cell that Sirius Black once resided in, with a similar amount of security around the cell.
The article went out in the Daily Prophet for everyone in the Wizarding World to see and naturally it didn’t paint Crouch in a good light. In fact, the entire Ministry of Magic received scathing letters for allowing one of their top employees to smuggle his Death Eater son out of Azkaban and use a very powerful Unforgivable curse to subdue him. It got them thinking about what else the Ministry might be covering up.
Never mind the fact that no one in the Ministry knew this happened besides Crouch, but naturally they couldn’t release a statement in the Daily Prophet, because now they weren’t sure where it was located anymore. The fact that Barone owned the Daily Prophet and didn’t seem to be too fond of the Ministry spelled disaster for their public image. He never printed one false word, but he managed to dig up truthful accounts of Ministry incompetence that shook the foundation of the Ministry. Many feared that the unraveling had just begun, but few knew exactly why Barone had this vendetta against the Ministry. It couldn’t have been just about Black, it had to run deeper than that.
Despite the fact that the brunt of the scathing letters were directed towards the entire Ministry of Magic, everyone from the lowest worker on the totem pole all the way up to the Minister of Magic felt the repercussions. Most of the employees felt they had to walk around on eggshells to prevent from provoking the wrath of those hire up. Their very jobs hung in the balance.
Arthur Weasley was no exception to this rule. A meager employee at the Ministry, he was always the subject to much ridicule behind his back due to his fascination with Muggles. The truth was he found the ways Muggles had managed without magic to be rather interesting and was worth study. So much through that he took several Muggle artifacts home and took them apart to see how they worked, before magically putting them back together. It was technically against the law, as using magic on any kind of Muggle items for what ever reason.
However, since Arthur worked in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office, he knew a couple loopholes that he could use to continue his hobby without breaking the law.
Arthur arrived home just an hour before his wife usually served dinner. Sure enough as he walked inside, he saw Molly working busily in the kitchen. The sounds in the distance indicated that his four youngest were playing in the background, Percy no doubt upstairs in his room reading a book.
“Oh, Arthur, you’re home,” said Molly in a distracted voice. “The Crouch situation must be bad if the Prophet is truthful.”
“For once it is and that’s the disturbing thing,” admitted Arthur. “He’s in Azkaban, no chance of a trial, his son’s brain is rather scrambled, he’s basically insane from prolonged exposure to the Imperius Curse. The entire Ministry is in chaos.”
“Barone couldn’t have just released information to the Ministry, he just had to make a public spectacle of it,” said Molly in an agitated voice. “Arthur, I do hope the Ministry’s doing something about him, anyone who could bend the entire Ministry to their will and take control of the wards has to be dangerous. And that poor boy, being raised by someone like him, he’s an obvious dark wizard.”
“To be honest, he’s left no traces behind on how he took control of the Ministry, so there’s no way to find out how Barone took control and prevent him from doing it again,” remarked Arthur calmly. “To be honest, I’m not quite sure Barone is a dark wizard…”
“Arthur, don’t be naïve,” said Molly angrily. “Of course he’s a dark wizard, those malicious lies he spread about Dumbledore during that trial, he got him discredited, and ruined his life. Obviously didn’t want him in the way, now did he.”
“Dumbledore disregarded…” started Arthur.
“Yes, I know, I’ve heard about the will or the alleged will,” said Molly. “I doubt that Dumbledore would maliciously put any child in harm, otherwise wouldn’t have someone found him to be unfit to teach them by now? Barone must have had the resources to falsify a document.”
Arthur sighed. It would be a waste of breath to tell his wife that even You-Know-Who himself couldn’t have falsified a document that was checked by the goblins for accuracy. He loved his wife but sometimes she could be so set in her opinions it was be rather frustrating.
“FRED, GEORGE, GIVE ME MY DOLL!”
In the backyard behind the Burrow, little Ginny Weasley was absolutely furious beyond belief. Her two twin brothers, Fred and George, had decided to take it upon themselves to take her prized possession, a small ragged doll that her mother had bought from a second hand store for her third birthday.
In theory, the doll was supposed to be a Harry Potter doll, but it looked just like a generic little boy with a lighting bolt scar, nothing like the real Harry Potter with its brown hair and blue eyes. It was just one of the many products made to con gullible people out of a few galleons who would want it just because it had to do with Harry Potter.
“Now, Ginny, poor Harry here looks a bit ragged,” said George as he took the doll and looked it over. Ginny moved forward but Fred had tossed the doll over her head, where his twin caught it.
“Yes, it must be boring just spending the entire day with you,” added Fred.
“With all the tea parties and all that,” continued George as Fred had tossed the doll to George as Ginny made a movement.
“A step down for someone who vaporized You-Know-Who,” concluded Fred and the five year old girl had lost her patience, with a burst of accidental magic sending Fred flying backwards and the doll flew right into Ginny’s hands.
“Now, Ginny, that’s not becoming of a young lady,” admonished George in a playful voice.
“What would the real Harry Potter if he meets you and finds out you like to beat up boys for fun?” asked Fred and Ginny went scarlet at the thought of actually meeting the Boy-Who-Lived.
“Don’t see what the big deal is about a stupid doll,” remarked Ron who had been watching the show from a safe distance.
“Says the person who’s been saving their pocket money for two years to get the limited addition Harry Potter versus You-Know Who doll set,” replied Ginny.
“Hey, Ginny, they’re not dolls, they’re action figures with fourteen points of articulation,” argued Ron.
“Right,” chorused Fred and George in unison sarcastically.
“Well they are,” said Ron in a stubborn voice before hastily chasing the subject. “Let’s play some Quidditch before dinner shall we.”
“That sounds great,” said George as Fred nodded and Ginny took a step forward but Ron glared at her.
“Ginny, you know you can’t play,” said Ron.
“Because I’m a girl, right,” muttered Ginny darkly.
“Yes, girls aren’t allowed to play Quidditch because they could contaminate our broomsticks with their cooties,” said Fred.
“At least they can’t until they get their cootie vaccine during their first year at Hogwarts,” added George.
Ginny walked off.
“C’mon Harry, we don’t need these idiots to have fun,” muttered Ginny to her doll as she walked into the house, clutching the doll fondly before she headed up to her room before dinner.
Edward Zabini’s head jerked up, as two of his men entered the office.
“Shut the door behind you!” snapped Boss Zabini in a frantic voice, and the mobsters hastened to do so. “Did anyone follow you two here?”
“No boss, pretty sure they didn’t,” answered one of the mobsters as the second one nodded dumbly by his side.
“Are you sure?” asked Zabini.
“Yes, yes, we’re sure,” said the second mobster. “Boss, you seem to be a bit jumpy today.”
“Jumpy, jump, how dare you jump to conclusions!” cried Zabini, as he pushed his chair towards the wall, so he didn’t have his back towards his men or to the wall. “My wife could kill me at any moment, and you two are treating this like a joke.”
The two mobsters exchanged uneasy looks.
“Boss, you always say your wife wants to kill you but she hasn’t yet,” replied one of the mobsters in a brave voice.
It’s different today, different you mugs, because listen up, it’s like this see,” responded Zabini in a frantic voice. “Sirius Black was cleared of all charges yesterday.”
“You mean that notorious mass murderer who is all over the news?” inquired one of the mobsters.
“No, the guy who picks up other men when he’s dressed like a nun,” fired back Zabini sarcastically. “Of course the notorious mass murder, you goons. My rival, that no good Boss Barone got him freed, the Ministry of Magic had no choice and Bartemius Crouch was lucky enough not to get whacked. It’s only a matter of time before Adrianna decides that I have a little accident and decides to move onto this Black guy.”
“But Boss, what makes you think that your wife wants to knock you off to run off with his black guy this Black guy?” asked one of the mobsters.
Zabini sighed, this is what he got for hiring people who never finished school.
“Listen closely, it’s very simple, that even you two could understand it,” answered Zabini before dropping his voice to a near whisper. “He’s fucking rich.”
The mobsters nodded and Zabini spun around, before he looked around the window.
“Something out there,” said Zabini in a paranoid voice. “Check it out, check it out!”
The two mobsters sighed, both wondering if the money they were receiving was really worth it but they looked out the window.
“It’s just a squirrel Boss Zabini,” answered one of the mobsters slowly.
“Is it really?” asked Zabini as he looked around wildly from side to side. “My wife could have stuffed it with explosives to do me in for all I know. She would do something like that.”
“Boss Zabini, why not take care of your wife before she takes care of you?” suggested one of the mobsters.
“Yes I could kill her but then I’d get both the Muggle and Magical authorities on my case,” answered Zabini. “If she kills me, then everyone would put it down as a tragic accident. However, if I kill her, then I’m guilty until proven innocent. That’s how the law really works.”
The mobsters nodded calmly and Zabini sat rigid.
“Ticking, something’s ticking,” muttered Zabini as he looked over towards the wrist watch from one of his men. He took it.
“Boss Zabini, what gives?” asked the mobster but Zabini took his wand before he ripped the watch apart, destroying it beyond repair. “Hey, my dead father gave me that watch.”
“Well it could have been a bomb that could have killed me and worse, caused expensive damage to my office,” replied Zabini brooding tone. “She could kill me at any time, but she’s making me sweat it, thinks she can fake me out.”
Zabini looked around, a wild look in his eyes.
“Adrianna you think you can get me, like you got your other six husbands, well I’ll show you,” muttered Zabini wildly. “You can’t get me, no bitch can get the better of Boss Edward Zabini, is that clear?”
“Yes, of course, Boss Zabini,” chorused the two yes-men mobsters in unison.
“Stop patronizing me, you twits!” snapped Zabini angrily.
“Of course, Boss Zabini, anything you say, boss,” answered the mobsters.
“Listen, I’ve been having a bad year and my wife could kill me at any time, Barone has cut my profits in half, but I will not go down without a fight,” continued Zabini in a manic voice. “I am Edward Zabini, one of the premier crime lords in all of Britain, I will make everyone fear my might, I will cripple everyone into submission. Listen here you mugs, spread the world, I’m going to be ruthless, cold, and uncaring, everything that a businessman should be. I will run my competitors out of business, right to the morgue. Nothing can get in my way.”
“DADDY!” called the voice of Blaise from the stairway “Are you up here?”
From the outside, Blaise knocked on the door and the two mobsters became rigid.
“Don’t just stand there, let my daughter in!” ordered Zabini.
“I don’t know, it could be a plot to kill you boss,” suggested one of the mobsters.
“Are you trying to tell me that my own daughter would kill me?” asked Zabini in a dangerous voice. “I ought you have you busted down to scrubbing toilets, now let her in before I decide to redecorate the walls with your brains.”
With that, Zabini’s men made haste to open the door and Blaise walked in, with a smirk on her face. The seven year old girl walked in, ignoring the two mobsters, before she sat down in front of her father’s desk.
“What is it, princess, I’m on a very tight schedule?” asked Boss Zabini.
“Daddy, you could do me a favor and take me shopping, I need some new clothes,” replied Blaise.
“What about your mother?” asked Boss Zabini.
“She doesn’t know anything, she makes me get boy clothes all the time,” replied Blaise, a bit of mild irritation evident in her voice. “Plus, she’s been in the Potions lab every time I come home and she’s locked me out, she won’t talk to anyone. If it wasn’t for our house elf, I couldn’t eat anything.”
Boss Zabini sighed, his wife had wanted a son and had always cut Blaise’s hair short when she was younger and dressed her in boy clothes. Hair growth charms cast by Zabini, passed off as accidental magic, put a stop to the hair cutting thing.
“Okay, this weekend, but Daddy’s really busy right now,” replied Boss Zabini. “I promise, I’ll have some time this weekend.”
“Okay,” answered Blaise in a sweet, mostly innocent voice. “Oh and before I forget, I might have committed a bit of accidental magic today at school.”
“So, I suppose I have to go to the school and meet with someone,” replied Boss Zabini.
“Actually I didn’t, it seems as if Gillworth forgot about accidentally hanging his niece upside down from a lightpost,” said Blaise. “She’s making fun of Harry and Hermione for actually studying to make sure they did well in school.”
“Wait a minute, Blaise, Harry and Hermione, as in you finally made friends,” answered Boss Zabini.
“Yes surprising enough, after I swore I would hate everything about that Muggle School that you made me go to, Dad,” replied Blaise.
“Now, Blaise, I was hoping that you would be tolerant against Muggles and not take your mother’s attitude about them,” admonished Boss Zabini. “That’s why I sent you to that school.”
“I’m ahead of most of them because of the home schooling I got until last year,” replied Blaise, as it was custom in most of the older pureblood families to home school their children starting at the age of three years old. “Still, Harry’s not what you would expect, he’s actually pretty smart and not an arrogant prat like most would expect the Boy-Who-Lived to me.”
Edward Zabini had taken a drink just seconds ago and had spit out onto his desk when he had heard the words “Boy-Who-Lived”.
“Wait a minute, Harry, as in Harry Potter,” stated Boss Zabini, as conflicting emotions ran through his mind. “The Harry Potter.”
“Yes, Daddy, that Harry Potter,” replied Blaise. “I can try and get you his autograph if you want me to.”
“No, no, nothing like that,” said Boss Zabini quickly. “Blaise, I must insist that you be careful, as you do know that Harry Potter’s current guardian as Allan Michael Barone.”
“Who?” asked Blaise.
“My fiercest business rival,” elaborated Boss Zabini, as he looked at his daughter seriously. “I might be paranoid, but there is a strong chance that he could be using young Mr. Potter to get close to you, to gain information on me.”
“Daddy, I really don’t care about your work,” answered Blaise stubbornly.
“I know, but you might someday, when you have to carry on in my place when you’re older,” said Boss Zabini. “Plus this Barone doesn’t know of your lack of interest regarding the mafia..”
“What if this isn’t about you?” pleaded Blaise stubbornly.
“Just be careful, I don’t want to see my only daughter get hurt,” said Boss Zabini. “I doubt that Harry Potter would be in on it, he’s only six years old, it’s not like he’s going to be taking over the family business any time soon. Still, Barone’s grooming him to be the eventual successor and Barone’s a dangerously cunning foe, he brought the Ministry of Magic to its knees.”
“Okay, I’ll be careful, but I don’t think it’s a problem,” replied Blaise. “So, you’re going to take me shopping on Saturday, just the two of us, father daughter stuff, no mobster things either.”
“Yes, of course, princess,” said Edward in a tired, defeated tone,
“And please, get some rest, you look like you haven’t slept in months,” added Blaise as she exited the office as the two mobsters in his office looked at Boss Zabini, barely able to keep a straight face.
“What is it that amuses you two?” demanded Boss Zabini.
“Nothing boss,” replied one of the mobsters quickly. “It’s just that…”
“You’ve think I’ve gone soft, because of my daughter, haven’t you?” asked Zabini coldly.
“No, of course not, boss, we would never.”
“Good, because I’m not soft by any means, Barone is not going to get the better of me, capice,” said Zabini and his two mobsters looked confused. “You understand?”
“Everything but capice,” replied one of the mobsters.
In his mob headquarters, Harry arrived to check to see if he had any outstanding business that he needed to take care of, before he went over to Hermione’s house to work on her Occlumency training which was coming on a bit better than Harry could have ever expected, but a lot of work was to be done for Harry to feel comfortable with letting his best friend in on the truth.
Harry made his way up to the front desk where Antonio was filing paperwork.
“Antonio, any pressing matters that I need to know about for today,” replied Harry.
“Other than getting the latest financial reports from your businesses, it’s been a slow day, a few people paid up their debts and we’re tracking down a runner, but that shouldn’t be much of a problem right yet for you until our people track him down,” said Antonio.
“Excellent, how are the businesses doing?” asked Harry
“All profit in all ends, no money losing divisions at all,” informed Antonio. “A far cry from where we were this time last year.”
Harry turned his head to smirk. He wouldn’t want to toot his own horn, but his determination to build an empire to properly compact Voldemort and his Death Eaters, along with the Ministry of Magic
Without another word, Harry made his way upstairs to check in with Sirius in his room in the upper portion of the headquarters. Harry walked up before he knocked on Sirius’s room and Sirius walked up, looking as if he had just gotten out of bed.
“Oh hello Harry, don’t you have to go to school soon?” asked Sirius.
“I’ve been there and went,” replied Harry.
“Merlin, I must have been celebrating my recent freedom a bit too hard last night,” said Sirius.
“Then I guess you didn’t see the Daily Prophet,” remarked Harry and Sirius shook his head. “Well to make a long tedious story a short, rather amusing story, Crouch was chucked into your old cell at Azkaban without a trial.”
Sirius laughed madly at the very thought of poetic justice being served at the Ministry.
“Oh that’s too good, serves Crouch right for attempting to play games with you,” said Sirius. “Still, I bet the Ministry is steamed that you decided to go back on your deal.”
“I said if you didn’t get your trial in forty eight hours, I would finish my story,” said Harry. “They took forty eight hours, nine minutes, and twelve seconds to give you your trial. So technically I didn’t lie.”
“No, I guess you didn’t, but don’t expect the Ministry to follow the same logic,” cautioned Sirius. “With Crouch out, Fudge and Umbridge will be your biggest opposition.”
“I can handle Fudge well enough, if he tries anything, I’ll cut him off at the knees and bury him in cement,” answered Harry coolly. “Umbridge on the other hand, is very influential for someone with her distinct personality flaws. What she lacks in magical power, she makes up in ruthlessness against those who look to be opposing her. She managed to stay in power in the Ministry in the other timeline for quite sometime. She may be a bit more of a challenge to neutralize than Fudge, but what’s life without a few challenges.”
Harry paused for a few seconds.
“Still, I will come up with a fate worth of someone like Umbridge,” added Harry. “School was rather entertaining today, considering that Evelyn got her just desserts.”
“Really, from what you’ve told me about her, she would get along real great with my dear old mother with her smug superior attitude, of course if she wasn’t a Muggle,” said Sirius. “So, what did you do to her?”
“Me, I didn’t do anything, I don’t use my powers to terrorize other children, just Ministry officials,” replied Harry innocently. “Seriously, Sirius, I believe it was Blaise Zabini who Evelyn caught at a bad moment and the next thing Hermione and I knew, she was suspended on upside down from the nearest light post. Needless to say, Gillworth wasn’t too happy, but considering the fact I didn’t want the Ministry of Magic’s attention to be drawn towards the school, I might have modified his memory and masked all traces of magic.”
“I suppose you’ve done that before,” said Sirius.
“Merlin, no, Hermione did in the other timeline. That was the first time,” answered Harry. “Erasing memories that is, I’ve masked magic traces before, when I was on the run from Voldemort and his Death Eaters.”
“Harry, I don’t mean to sound like Moony, but I guess I should, as your godfather and a semi-responsible adult figure, well in theory anyway, say that modifying memories without knowing exactly what you’re doing, blah, blah, brain damage, lecture, lecture, nag, nag,” replied Sirius before he laughed, now that he had done his own responsible deed for one day.
“Gillworth will be fine, he was a bit loopy for the rest of the day, but I had to make him forget something big after all,” said Harry.
“Yes, and this Blaise girl, she’s your sworn business rival’s daughter, which as your godfather, I should caution you about consorting with someone who could easily turn around and kill you when you’re older if she decides to follow in her father’s footsteps,” answered Sirius. “But also as your godfather, it is my sworn duty to give you a hard time about any girl that you even have the most remote amount of interaction with.”
“Sirius, we are six and seven years old,” admonished Harry.
“Never stopped the Egyptian magical people,” remarked Sirius.
“That’s not the point and besides, there’s a bit of a morality issue about me having anything beyond friendship with anyone my physical age, due to my unique circumstances,” said Harry calmly.
“Morality issues, you sound like Lily right there,” muttered Sirius underneath his breath before clearing his throat as Harry narrowed his eyes, like Lily used to do before she got mad. “I mean, great Harry, remain strong in your convictions, don’t let your old dog of a godfather sway you towards any debauchery.”
“That’s what I though you said,” said Harry. “Thankfully I have about six or seven before the inevitable internal battle between my hormonally crazed teenage self and my morally restricted older self. That’s when the real fun of having two conflicting presences in my body begins. The younger self is easy to suppress right now, but when I hit the teenage years…”
“I get to really fulfill my obligation of godfather by giving you guidance,” concluded Sirius.
“Yes, I can just image what your type of guidance would be Sirius,” remarked Harry. “Now, I must be off to Hermione’s to continue with her training.”
“Okay, see you later Harry,” replied Sirius as Harry walked off. Now that he was free, Sirius didn’t quite know what to do with his time.
Time passed rather well over the next month and a half or so, leading to the final day before summer vacation for Harry and Hermione. It was also a glorious day, as it would be the last day that they would be in the presence of Professor Remington Q. Gillworth, the Third, Esquire, as they would move up to a different year and a different teacher.
Harry could almost hear the choir of angels singing in his head but Gillworth was no doubt ready to make a lasting impression on his students.
“Children, this is the last time many of us will be meeting,” announced Gillworth at the beginning of class. “Indeed, I, Professor Remington Q. Gillworth, the Third, Esquire, will no longer be your teacher as I have a brand new batch of inept children to teach next year. Now I, Professor Remington Q. Gillworth, the Third, Esquire, will miss very few of you.”
Gillworth looked at his many students.
“Let’s see, too ugly, too fat, too short, nose is crooked, do something, anything with that hair,” continued Gillworth as he moved down the row before reaching Evelyn. “Perfect in everyway, a model student in this class, and a product of the teaching of Professor Remington Q. Gillworth, the Third, Esquire.”
“Thank you Uncle Remy er I mean Professor,” said Evelyn pompously, as she looked around, as the other students applauded a bit robotically.
“I wonder if our report cards come with air sick bags,” whispered Harry in an undertone to Hermione, whose lip twitched, in an attempt not to giggle.
“Now, Mr. Potter and Miss Granger, our two troublemaker students,” answered Gillworth. “Potter, let me make it one thing perfect…”
“Remy, I do have a snake here,” said Harry and Vinny the snake was currently asleep, wrapped around Harry’s shoulders, underneath his shirt.
“Yes, Potter, I know, believe me I do,” replied Gillworth in a very forced voice. “You think you’re very clever don’t you, Potter, exploiting my fears for your own gain.”
“I think it’s hilarious,” answered Harry.
“Potter, not all teachers have a fear of snakes like I do and you will not be able to use your little friend next year to condition a teacher into fear,” retorted Gillworth. “Then perhaps yourself and Miss Granger will be exposed as the cheaters you are.”
“We’ll see Gillworth, we’ll see,” said Harry in a bored voice. “The fact remains that our report card grades were tabulated by a third party source, so any grades we got were earned fairly.”
Professor Remington Q. Gillworth, the Third, Esquire stared at Harry with pure venom. It was true, the Headmistress didn’t trust him to be able to fairly calculate his own grades, so she had a third party do so.
“Of course, if you are so certain of your teaching methods, then I daresay you would have no problem letting comparing your prized student’s performance to myself or Hermione’s,” added Harry.
“Fine you infernal brat!” snapped Gillworth as he bent over towards his desk, before picking up three envelopes containing the final grades for Harry, Hermione, and Evelyn. Without another word, he ripped open Evelyn’s envelope and began to read with a crestfallen look on his face.
“See, I bet you even Professor Gillworth didn’t expect me to do this good, he’s shocked,” bragged Evelyn pompously as Gillworth numbly dropped the paper at his niece’s desk. She took it and became angry as she read it. “What, it says I’m going to have to do this year again because I failed everything!”
Hermione and Harry exchanged smirks.
“You two, you did this!” wailed Evelyn, her face turning beet red as she pointed her finger at them. “Uncle Remy, you have to pass me, this isn’t fair!”
“Now, I’m certain it would be mean and degrading to do this right now, but may we see our grades, Professor Remington Q. Gillworth, the Third, Esquire?” asked Harry.
Gillworth shoved the papers at Harry and Hermione, with disdain etched on his face. The two friends exchanged nods.
“Perfect Outstanding Grades,” read Hermione. “Tied first in the year in fact. What about you Harry?”
“Same thing,” confirmed Harry. “Now, Professor, for my own grade on you, you fail.
Gillworth’s eye twitched, wishing the Headmistress hadn’t banned use of the “board of education”, because this brat was asking for it. He opted to bend down, so he was nearly in Harry’s face.
“I hate you,” whispered Gillworth.
“Somehow I don’t think Harry’s going to be too upset about that,” replied Hermione and at least half of the other students laughed, which caused Evelyn to glare at them.
“Hey, we’re not going to be in this class much longer,” remarked one of the boys, shrugging his shoulders.
“Still, I should perhaps thank Professor Gillworth for his…efforts in teaching me and Hermione this year,” said Harry as he casually waved his wand and Gillworth’s desk turned into about three dozen snakes. Gillworth turned around and leapt backwards.
“SNAKES!” yelled Gillworth in horror before he fell backwards in a dead faint.
“What did you do to him?” accused Evelyn.
“Pretend you don’t see the snakes,” hissed Harry into Hermione’s ear and she nodded. “Really, I don’t know what you mean, our poor teacher fainted under the pressure of his own bad teaching abilities.”
“We better get the Headmistress, he could have been hurt,” said Hermione in a mock worried voice. “C’mon Harry.”
“Brilliant idea Hermione,” agreed Harry as he cancelled the illusion spell as the two walked out of the classroom.
“How did you do that, it didn’t seem like no one else saw the snakes?” questioned Hermione.
“Because, I made the illusion to repel all Muggles, it’s all about intent you see,” lectured Harry.
“Advanced illusionary spells, wow, that’s supposed to be like really hard magic,” said Hermione in an awed voice as Harry raised his eyebrow. “I borrowed one of your books, I figure you wouldn’t mind.”
“No, it’s good to get a head start,” agreed Harry.
“What if there had been any other magical people in their besides us?” asked Hermione.
“They’re not,” said Harry in a certain voice. “Hermione, I’ve been planning this little farewell prank for weeks, but it’s just much more then a mere prank, as I’m going to make sure that no one suffers from Gillworth’s horrid teaching ever again.”
“How?” prodded Hermione.
“Now, Hermione, I don’t want to spoil the surprise but Gillworth will be taken care of,” said Harry and they walked off to get the Headmistress.
At the end of the day, Harry and Hermione walked off from the school.
“Harry, an entire summer without school it’s going to be…” replied Hermione.
“Excellent!” concluded Harry.
“I know, but what if we fall behind?” asked Hermione in a worried voice.
“Hermione, we’re the best two students in our year, we’ve studied our brains out for ten months in the year, so let’s go out and enjoy our time off from school,” answered Harry in an excited voice. “After all, we ended the year in a bang.”
Evelyn stomped around, flanked by her remaining few friends, who looked all smug and superior. In an interesting note, those friends also had to repeat the year again.
“You two, it’s all your fault that I have to take this year over again and those guys in those white jackets said they are going to take away Uncle Remy for a very long time!” cried Evelyn. “I don’t know where they’re taking him but they put a funny jacket on him!”
“Uncle Remy is going to be spending some quality time in a nice rubber room with no windows for seeing things that are not there,” said Harry.
“Evelyn, just leave, you’re not better than us, so stop being so smug,” added Hermione and Evelyn shoved Hermione lightly but since she was weak, Hermione didn’t move backwards. “Honestly, that’s pathetic.”
Evelyn stuck her nose up in the air snobbishly.
“Don’t see what Potter sees in you, I’d be a much better friend than you, at least I take my nose out of a book for some fresh air once and a while,” muttered Evelyn. “Nothing but a buck teeth nightmare with frizzy hair, not as smart and pretty like I am. Then again, I’m sure that scar might have affected Potter’s brain.”
Evelyn’s friends then screamed and leapt back from the girl.
“What now?” prompted Evelyn as she stuck her nose into the air.
“Evelyn, your hair’s gone!” shrieked one of the girls.
“Ew, ick!” added a second girl.
“We’re not your friends anymore, you’re bald,” said the third girl as they stormed off, noses stuck into the air.
Evelyn felt the top of her head and she shrieked when she felt her baldness. She burst into tears before she ran shrieking in horror. She had to repeat this year, her favorite uncle was taken away, she lost all of her friends, and now her hair. This was the worst day in Evelyn’s short life.
“What I didn’t do anything,” responded Harry in an innocent voice as Hermione looked curiously at him and then she realized what she might have done.
“Accidental magic again,” suggested Hermione weakly.
“I guess, once we get your Occlumency down, we need to get that under control,” responded Harry. “I’m sure her hair will grow back, eventually, maybe.”
In the cavernous headquarters of the Board of Governors, the nameless, faceless council of twelve board members were submerged in the shadows behind a long table, where only their right hands were visible to anyone else in the room.
On the other end of the table, Nicholas Flamel sat behind the table, dressed in a pinstriped three piece suit and a derby hat with pink feather sticking out of the top of it, while wearing spectacles straight out of the eighteenth century.
“Congratulations, Nicholas Flamel, you have been accepted as the brand new Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!” chorused the twelve board members in a creepy, unified tone.
“Much obliged,” replied Flamel in a jovial voice. “The wife’s been needling me about getting a job, we’re at each other’s throats half the time, but when you’ve been married for nearly seven hundred years, you’ll have an occasional martial spat or two.”
“Not so fast, Nicholas Flamel, you must recite the oath of the Headmaster,” added the Board of Governors in unison. “Now repeat after us, I, Nicholas Flamel, do solemnly swear…”
“I, Nicholas Flamel, do solemnly vow,” said Flamel before adding. “Sorry, the wife wants me to cut down on the swearing, believe me, I’ve learned some rather interesting one’s over the last seven hundred or so years.”
“To uphold the honor of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,” continued the Board of Governors.
“To uphold the honor of Hogwarts School of the Witchcraft and Wizardry,” repeated Flamel.
“Along with all the decrees passed by the Board of Governors,” continued the Board of Governors.
“Along with any decrees that are fair and have not been influenced by blackmail,” said Flamel.
“And protect the school from any external security threats,” concluded the board.
“If anyone messes with Hogwarts on my watch, they’ll be hexed into oblivion,” concluded Flamel.
“Congratulations Professor Flamel, you’re now officially the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,” declared the board of governors in their creepy, unified manner as one of them handed Flamel a stack of folders, while still mysteriously submerged in the shadows “Now there is the matter of filling the vacant position of Potions Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We have several candidates that you should interview awaiting outside the chambers.”
“Send them in one by one,” requested Flamel.
The doors swung open as a middle aged man with brown hair walked into the office, before he stood in front of Flamel.
“Good morning, I’m the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Nicholas Flamel,” answered Flamel as he shook the applicant’s hand.
“Richard R. Richards,” answered the applicant, careful to maintain eye contact as Flamel flipped through the folder.
“Ah, Mr. Richards, it says here that you were the Potions Professor of the Liberty School of Magic for fifteen years,” replied Flamel. “Plus, you have a second level mastery degree in potions, very good then but the United States teaching system is a bit different then the British teaching system, from what I’ve seen it’s a bit more sporadic. I feel that you may have to be acquainted with our style so the transition is smooth and easy. Still, take the time to readjust your methods and if we need another replacement, I’ll be more than happy to take another look at you.”
“Ah yes, thank you Professor Flamel for your time,” answered Richards as the two shook hands again and Richards walked off, a little bit put out that he didn’t get the job.
“Next!” called Flamel and the door swung open to revealed Gilderoy Lockhart walking inside wearing violet robes with his hair perfectly conditioned. Before Lockhart could open his mouth, Flamel cut him off. “Next!”
“Nicholas my old chap, surely you recognize that I would be a suitable candidate to fill the role of Potions Professor,” replied Lockhart. “Perhaps you may have read my books, detailing my many travels which I had to use potions among the rare and exotic.”
“Believe me, Gilderoy I have read all of your books when I felt like I needed help to properly vomit,” answered Flamel calmly. “And for the record, I’ve found two thousand, seven hundred, and nineteen factual inaccuracies in your complete collection and I daresay I may have found more if I would have read your books more than once. I will be sending you that list in due time to the Daily Prophet, I trust Mr. Barone would have fun with it.”
Lockhart sat there, mouth wide open, unable to formulate two words.
“I do apologize Gilderoy of depriving you of the opportunity to fill the minds of young children with rubbish,” replied Flamel. “Dumbledore might have hired you but that’s Dumbledore for you, that manipulative young coot. Now, next!”
Lockhart was blasted out of the Board of Governors chambers
“My hair!” shrieked Lockhart from outside as a small figure walked into the chambers. The figure of Killer Schwartz, dressed in his military fatigues, with his porn star mustache and prominent mullet sticking out.
The black midget looked at Flamel who looked around.
“I said next,” replied Flamel.
“Down here mate,” declared Killer Schwartz.
“Ah forgive me Mr…” prompted Flamel.
“The name’s Schwartz, Killer Schwartz,” responded Killer Schwartz. “My friends call me Killer Schwartz but my enemies call me…Killer Schwartz.”
“Killer Schwartz, what makes you think you’re qualified to teaches Potion at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?” prompted Flamel.
“Potions, I thought this was the Bounty Collection office,” replied Schwartz.
“Oh, you want the chamber three hallways down to your right,” said Flamel.
“Thanks for the information, if you need any dangerously stupid magical creatures to be captured, call for Killer Schwartz,” said Killer Schwartz as he made his way to the Bounty Collection office.
“Next!” remarked Flamel and the large figure of Crabbe walked into the chambers next, with a blank look on his face.
“Ah, Vincent Crabbe Senior, come in,” encouraged Flamel and Crabbe stupidly walked into the room. “So tell me, what are your qualifications?”
Crabbe looked blankly at Flamel.
“Fascinating, quite fascinating, truthfully fascinating but sadly a mute would not be able to be able to properly teach a class at Hogwarts,” explained Flamel. “While you’re a step up from Snape, you still aren’t quite what we’re looking for. Still, your qualifications are quite excellent but your inability to talk prevents you from getting the job”
Crabbe just walked away without the slightest bit of emotions. Flamel leaned back slightly, coming to the unfortunate realization that the standards for people who applied for the position of Potions Professor for Hogwarts had dropped since the period in the sixteen seventies, eighties, and nineties that he had taught the subject under an assumed name at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
“Next,” said Flamel and Narcissa Black walked into the chambers, her blond hair flipping from side to side. “Ah, Narcissa Black, good day to you.”
“Good morning, Headmaster Flamel,” said Narcissa respectively. “As you know, I’m here to apply for the position of Potions Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You have my school records, along with Minerva McGonagall’s letter of recommendation that I’d receive the position”
“Yes I did Miss Black and looking through your qualifications, you look more than qualified,” answered Flamel. “I’m at a loss to understand why you weren’t hired in the first place…”
“Professor Flamel with all due respect, this woman’s husband bullied us into submission with black mail to push our agenda, we cannot forgive this,” interjected the twelve board members in sequence.
“Former husband,” corrected Narcissa.
“Now, I’m sure if we put her on a period of probation to prove herself to us, she can safely be given a job,” said Flamel in a firm voice. “After all her qualifications are the best I can see, so it would be foolish not to allow her to share her knowledge with the young minds at Hogwarts.”
“Very well Flamel but be warned, we’ll be keeping an eye on Narcissa Black and should she attempt anything that threatens Hogwarts or the students within at any time, the Board of Governors will be forced to take swift and decisive action,” chorused the Board of Governors simultaneously.
“Good then, Professor Black, you’re now the new Potions Mistress for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I suspect I’ll be seeing you all too soon,” said Flamel kindly. “Good day to you.”
“The same to you, Professor Flamel,” replied Narcissa with a respectful bow of her head and Flamel responded in kind as Narcissa walked off.
On July Thirty First, Harry and Sirius were in Diagon Alley, Harry under the guise of Boss Barone. Sirius insisted today would be a good day to take a couple of hours to check up at Harry’s finances at Gringotts. On the other hand, Harry suspected that Sirius just wanted to get him out of the house so the others could arrange a surprise party for his birthday, but that was just his paranoid self speaking.
As they walked out of Gringotts, a rather interesting sign in front of a store called Wacky Wizard Things. It was a small store, buried between Flourish and Blotts and Quality Quidditch Supplies. Moving closer, the sign read: Harry Potter Birthday Sale: All Harry Potter related merchandise Thirty Percent Off.
“Sirius, look at that,” remarked Harry. “I’ve got to take a closer look at this.”
Sirius followed his godson into the store and it only took Harry thirty seconds to find something to get righteously indignant about.
“Oh for Merlin’s sake, look at this, Harry Potter toilet paper,” muttered Harry in an agitated voice.
“Wait, that’s just regular toilet paper with a picture of a lightning bolt plastered on the package, at three times the cost,” said Sirius frowning. “And three times the cost, even with the sale price.”
“And it’s almost sold out too, only one package left, people buy this crap, this is absolutely disgusting how people are taken advantage of with tacky merchandise such as this, look Harry Potter dinner ware, the official Harry Potter board game, cheap Harry Potter dolls, those don’t even look like me at all, and the official Harry Potter pop-up book, among other things,” lectured Harry. “The question I’m asking is why haven’t I ever seen a knut of this. If people are going to prostitute my name to sell tacky merchandise, shouldn’t I at least get some money out it?”
“Come to think of it, yeah Harry,” replied Sirius as he pulled an action figure on the self. “Look the official Sirius Black action figure, with Killing Curse action.”
“Merlin you’ve been innocent for three months and they still have that on the shelf,” said Harry rolling his eyes as Sirius pushed the “try me” button on the chest of the action figure, which caused the plastic wand in his hand to light up green.
“Plus it doesn’t even look like me,” added Sirius. “What kind of idiots would buy this stuff?”
At then the door opened and nine Weasleys walked inside.
“Mum look, they’ve got the new Harry Potter doll, dressed in Gryffindor robes,” squealed Ginny. “Can I please have it, please?”
Vinny slightly poked his head out from underneath Harry’s shirt.
“Is it just me, or did it get redder in here?” commented Vinny but Harry shushed him before he motioned Sirius to step back to watch the Weasleys.
“I don’t know Ginny, it’s a bit expensive,” said Molly Weasley.
“Yes and your other doll might get jealous,” said Fred.
“Yeah, thinking that you’ve replaced him,” added George.
“Please Mum,” begged Ginny.
“Maybe for your birthday, dear,” answered Molly Weasley as she looked at the price apprehensively, thinking that it would be a long time before they could even hope to afford this item for their daughter.
“Look at all these dolls in Gryffindor robes,” said Barone as he walked out the shadows with Sirius. “Not one Harry Potter doll in any other house robe.”
“Well of course, we all know that Harry Potter will have to get sorted into Gryffindor,” replied Ron Weasley proudly.
“Ron, don’t talk to…” started Molly but her eyes narrowed when she recognized who she was talking to. “Well, Allan Michael Barone?”
“Ah, you must be the…Weasleys,” replied Barone calmly as he looked them over, his eyes resting on both Ron and Ginny for the briefest of seconds in a cold stare before he took the other family members into account, nodding approvingly when he reached the twins.
“Yes, we are and I just have something to tell you,” said Molly.
“Molly not in public, please,” muttered Arthur in a pleading voice.
“Barone, you take a child that Albus Dumbledore had ensured that was safe and took him from his appointed home, kidnapping him!” shouted Molly in an angry voice. “Furthermore, you fabricated lies to get destroy Dumbledore’s reputation and you somehow controlled the Ministry of Magic with obvious dark magic! You’re not a fit guardian for a child in the first place and if I had anything to say about it, you would have been thrown into Azkaban. All your crimes will catch up to you in the end, I just hope that poor Harry Potter isn’t victimized too badly by your petty games!”
Barone stood there, not backing down at all, and stood there calmly.
“Are you done yet?” asked Barone casually. “I’d watch all the yelling if I was you, it could raise your blood pressure to dangerous levels and I would hate to see so many children be without a mother because of a rage induced heart attack.”
“HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT ME?” shouted Molly and Barone just nodded, before motioning for Sirius to follow him. “HEY, GET BACK HERE, YOU CAN’T JUST WALK AWAY FROM ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!”
However, Barone and Sirius kept walking.
“Mum, I think they did walk away from you,” said George.
“That man’s a hero among men,” added Fred.
“Quiet you two, it’s obvious that mother is just concerned for the fact that a ruffian like that is running unchecked and corrupting the Boy-Who-Lived,” ordered Percy pompously.
“Yes, that Barone bloke actually thought that Harry Potter would get sorted into any house but Gryffindor, I mean he has to be in Gryffindor so we can be best friends forever,” remarked Ron happily.
As Harry had suspected, Sirius’s attempts to divert him to Diagon Alley had been for an attempt to stall him so a birthday party could be prepared. It was a small gathering, with Hermione and her parents, Antonio, and Remus coming for Harry’s seventh birthday party. After opening a few presents, it was time for cake.
The cake looked good enough, but it tasted a bit off, which could have been accounted for the fact that Hermione’s parents were dentists and thus her mother didn’t put any sugar in the cake.
“I suspected this would happen when you told me Hermione’s parents were dentists, but I’ve eaten better shoe leather when I was in my Animagus form,” muttered Sirius when Marie was out of an earshot.
“Sirius, don’t know what you’re talking about, the cake tastes wonderful,” answered Jonathan Granger.
“Plus think of all the cavities you’ll avoid,” added Hermione.
“Bah, I’m a wizard, I can just charm those away,” said Sirius as he reached into the pocket of his robe before he pulled out a flask of sugar. “Luckily I came prepared.”
“Hey, Sirius, could you spare some of that?” asked Harry hopefully as he watched Sirius siphon the sugar onto his cake, before he took a bite.
“No can do, Harry, you should have came prepared,” said Sirius as he took another bite as Harry just realized something.
“Well, I’m an idiot, I can just conjure some sugar, I’m a wizard after all,” said Harry.
“No, Harry, you can’t, the magical creation of sugar is impossible under Gamp’s Five Laws of Elemental Transfiguration,” informed Remus. “Sugar can’t be just magically created, modified, or mixed in, it’s the fifth, final, and perhaps most frustrating law.”
“Curse you Gamp,” said Harry as he hung his head. “Well I guess I’m going to have to give myself that birthday present to myself to lift my spirits.”
Harry pulled a small wrapped box from inside his robe and unwrapped it in a few seconds, before he opened the box.
“It’s a wand,” said Sirius.
“Not just any wand, Sirius, its Albus Dumbledore’s wand,” explained Harry. “You see, I bought in when all of his possessions were auctioned off, I just never had reason to mention it until now. I also got my Invisibility Cloak back, but it seems like I might be missing something, almost like there should be a third thing along with those two items.”
Harry just shrugged as Hermione’s mother had rejoined the table.
“Probably nothing important, but I sure wish this cake I’m eating had some sugar in it,” said Harry and the wand lit enough, before it engulfed the piece of cake with yellow light. Harry picked up the cake and took a tentative bite out of it. “Now that’s more like it. Dig the sugary taste.”
Remus and Sirius looked at each other. Harry had broken the very laws of magic with Dumbledore’s old wand.
“That’s no mere wand,” whispered Sirius in a cryptic voice as Harry leaned backwards as the others looked at him concerned.
“Okay, this wand may be good, but it requires me to channel too much power to use it, so it does me no good, at least until I’m powerful enough to control it without getting fatigued,” concluded Harry as he pocketed Dumbledore’s former wand.
As the months went by, thanks to some creative maneuvering by the law office of Schyster and Boldface, Harry received royalties from all Harry Potter related merchandise. The companies offered sixty five percent, when one Boss Barone along with some mobster bodyguards came to visit their company headquarters.
Another school year happened and Hermione actually seemed to be a bit disappointed that the holiday went by so fast, but she resolved to be ready to return to learn. At this point, it was the first week of October, with Harry and Hermione, seven and eight years old respectively. It was a rather peaceful year with a teacher that actually taught the subject material. The Daily Prophet also was doing well, with several new subscribers and Harry achieved a great deal of profit all across the board in all of his business ventures.
It was a Wednesday afternoon and Harry had passed the time by going over his memories using the pensieve that Remus and Sirius had bought him for his birthday to help him remember memories that were currently blocked in parts of his brain that had been partially damaged by the Cruciatus Curse.
Harry had just pulled himself from the pensieve, a rather disturbed look etched in his eyes as Sirius opened the door.
“Hey Harry how are…” started Sirius and Harry looked absolutely mortified as he stared into the Pensieve. “What’s wrong?”
“As I was going through my memories, I came to a really disturbing realization,” explained Harry. “It was a day that I got into an altercation with a group of Slytherin boys in my year.”
“Harry, I got into an alteration with Slytherins every day for seven years,” said Sirius. “Surely it can’t be that disturbing.”
“Well you want to know who one of the boys in that group was?” asked Harry and Sirius nodded. “Blaise Zabini.”
Sirius did a double take and seemed to lose the ability to speak.
“I know, the name Zabini did sound familiar to me and now I know, Blaise Zabini’s mother is Adrianna Zabini, who had married seven husbands in my timeline, before they died under mysterious circumstances,” continued Harry. “Call me insane, but I have a hunch about why Blaise was a boy in the other timeline.”
“Yes, because I’m baffled,” said Sirius.
“Her mother, paranoid that she would be usurped by someone younger than her, used a gender change ritual to turn her daughter into her son,” suggested Harry. “A book she stole from the library of Nicholas Flamel.”
Sirius nodded, it made sense, albeit in a rather insane matter.
“Furthermore, Blaise wasn’t at school today, our teacher mentioned she switched schools,” added Harry. “She was there yesterday, so Adrianna must have felt she could have pulled of the gender change ritual today but something tells me that she hasn’t gotten around to doing so yet.”
“Which means Harry?” asked Sirius.
“I’m going to do what I do best, alter the timeline even more. The fact remains, I’m not going to let someone who is kind of, sort of, my friend have their gender switched,” answered Harry as he rose up to his feet to collect as much backup as possible, before leaving. Sirius followed close behind him.
Blaise found herself chained against the wall of the basement of her house as her mother stood over her with a smirk on her face.
“Mother, why are you doing this?” cried Blaise. “You tried to attack me in my bed today and…”
“Shut up, Blaise,” ordered Adrianna. “I wished to have put you under when you were asleep but you just had to be awake when I had entered your room. That little fight you tried to put up was inspired, holding me off for half of the day and calling your father, well it’s not like he can stop me.”
Adrianna paced back and forth, before she checked the potion that was brewing.
“Another few minutes and it will be ready,” muttered Adrianna to herself. “Blaise, your father managed to muck up everything when you were born a girl but now I’ll make everything right.”
“What are you going to do to me?” asked Blaise. “Let me go, please, don’t hurt me?”
“The innocent little girl act may work on your father, but it won’t work on me,” answered Adrianna coldly. “It’s quite sickening too, but you won’t be a threat to my plans anymore. I know for a fact you’re grow up to be quite beautiful, but I obviously can’t have that as there are many other fortunes that I must get my hands on. STUPEFY!”
Blaise was struck, unable to move and knocked unconscious as Adrianna heard an attempt for her husband and his mobster friends to get in.
“Edward, it’s useless!” called Adrianna. “Soon you’ll have a brand new son!”
Outside, Boss Zabini and the mobsters couldn’t even manage to scratch the front door with their best efforts.
“Its official, my wife’s gone bat shit insane,” said Boss Zabini “See if you can find another way in.”
“Boss, maybe you should call the police,” suggested one of the mobsters.
“With all the illegal contraband in that house!” snapped Zabini. “Now go around.”
A limo sped up the street at the speed of light and Zabini stopped, as the limo doors burst open, to reveal at least a dozen machine gun toting mobsters dressed in brand new suits.
“Barone!” growled Zabini as he waved his mobsters over. “Aim to kill them, we need to get my daughter out of the basement.
“Protect them with shield charms, I’m going to go in through the window, that looks like the only way inside that hasn’t been blocked,” ordered Harry from underneath the Invisibility Cloak to Remus and Sirius.
Sure enough, the shield charms went up, to block the bullets as Harry slipped through the window, underneath his Invisibility Cloak, his seven year form just managing to get through the tiny space.
Adrianna Zabini reached over to scoop some of the gender changing potion out of the cauldron to physically change Blaise into a boy, before she used the complex rituals to transform her mind and soul as well. She nearly pulled Blaise’s mouth open when a loud bang echoed through the basement that caused her to spin around and she backtracked, Barone stood there, coolly staring her down.
“Ah, my husband’s business rival, the infamous Boss Barone,” said Adrianna as she aimed her wand at Barone. “AVADA KEDAVRA!”
A jet of green light flew towards Harry who did the only sensible thing he could think of. Namely he flopped face first onto the ground and the curse sailed over him, harmlessly connecting with the wall.
“A Killing Curse, distinct lack of form, now I believe there will be no gender switching today,” said Barone calmly as he pointed his wand at Adrianna.
“There will be, both my daughter and you, because I’m going to slice your balls off for interfering, Barone!” cried Adrianna in a manic voice. “Nullus Testis!”
“Protego!” countered Barone, as the black light sliced through the air but it was absorbed in the shield.
The shield faded and Harry felt a bit from blocking a powerful curse, becoming light headed and a second later, a very sharp arrow pierced his right arm.
“The infamous Barone, without your little parlor tricks your nothing!” replied Adrianna with disdain as she watched Barone fall to the ground, blood dripping from his right arm as he pulled the arrow. She used her wand to fling him across the room, right towards the stone walls at a high velocity. “Now, back to making creating my new son.”
Harry pulled himself up; he saw his hair turning black and one of his haunting blue eyes turning green in a mirror off to the side. He had to end this as he had already burned out a lot of power blocking his opponent’s curse and cushioning the wall to avoid having his skull cracked open like an eggshell.
Gingerly, Harry pulled himself up and stepped in between mother and daughter just as she prepared to administer the gender switching potion, dropping his handgun to the ground in the process.
“EVANESO!” shouted Harry and the potion inside the vial vanished.
“Fool, I’ve made enough for several doses just in case the unforeseen happens,” said Adrianna with a smug look.
“Yes, I know,” replied Harry as he pointed a handgun at the cauldron behind Adrianna and pulled the trigger.
In an instant, a bullet pierced the cauldron and Adrianna watched as the potion drained from the cauldron.
“NO!” yelled Adrianna as she turned around and attempted to salvage enough of the potion to use on Blaise but to her absolute horror, there wasn’t enough left to make a full switch and thus three months of careful brewing was down the drain. She turned to Barone, fully prepared to butcher him alive and in an instant, she was lifted into the air and propelled across the room.
Harry looked at Blaise’s restraints and attempted to use any spell to cut her free, but much to his frustration, nothing worked.
In an instant, Harry recoiled in pain and dropped to the ground, his left foot causing an great deal of pain. He turned around as Adrianna Zabini stood in front of him, seething in absolute anger. Harry attempted to pull himself up but he came to the unfortunate realization Adrianna Zabini had shot him in the foot with the handgun he had dropped earlier.
“Barone, you ruined everything, so I’m going to kill you!” yelled Adrianna as she pointed the handgun right at Barone’s chest. “Any last words before I finish you off.”
“Just two,” breathed Barone in a pained voice, as he managed to aim his wand. “Accio bookcase!”
The bookcase behind Adrianna zoomed right towards Harry at a high velocity and smacked into Adrianna. Harry jerked his wand forward as be rolled away and the book case fell on top of Adrianna, having trapped her underneath.
Harry pulled himself up, before using his wand to remove the bullet from his heel before he spent a couple of minutes healing himself of his wounds.
The door of the basement burst open and Edward Zabini moved downstairs. Harry quickly summoned every bit of strength to change into Barone.
“Is she dead?” asked Zabini, as he looked at Adrianna.
“No, just badly injured,” remarked Harry as he shot a silvery object from his wand out the window before he caused a jet of blue light to engulf Adrianna. “I’ve told my people to summon the Ministry in a few minutes and this charm should give her a compulsion to tell the absolute truth for the next day or so. There will be no way she can avoid a one way ticket to Azkaban.”
“I should have you fit for cement shoes, Barone, for what you did to me since you arrived on the scene,” responded Boss Zabini. “Still, you saved my daughter and knocked my wife out, so that put me in a good mood so I’ll let you live just for today.”
“A very temporary temporary cease fire, I see,” retorted Harry. “But remember, Zabini, tomorrow’s another business day.”
“Glad to see you speak my language Barone,” concluded Zabini as the two mob bosses stared each other down for a minute, before they parted ways, ready to resume business as usual the next day.
Scandal Pulverizes the Ministry of Magic:
Bartemius Crouch Senior Arrested For Orchestrating Son’s Death and Keeping Still Alive Son Under the Imperius Curse:
By Rita Skeeter:
Yesterday morning, Sirius Black received his long awaited trial and was cleared of all charges (see page eight for full story). On a normal day this would be front page news, but an even bigger story than an innocent man finally getting his freedom after being falsely branded as a fugitive broke. Indeed, Allan Michael Barone, the official spokesperson for both Sirius Black and Harry Potter, informed a full Wizengamot court that Bartemius Crouch’s son, Bartemius Crouch Junior still lived. Due to the use of a Polyjuice potion, Crouch’s dying wife switched places with the younger Bartemius Crouch. She died bearing his appearance, with Crouch subsequently faking his wife’s death. That grave is empty.
After making this statement, Barone and Black, along with Barone’s bodyguards left, missing in this reporter’s opinion to be the most chaotic scene in the Ministry of Magic. Crouch attempted to make a break for it, but that didn’t work out as planned. After a short, but intense fight, Ministry Aurors subdued Bartemius Crouch Senior and as a result, Crouch was sent straight to Azkaban prison.
With the elder Crouch detained, Aurors paid a visit to the Crouch Residence to look for the younger Crouch. After nearly an hour of searching, Bartemius Crouch Junior was found hidden under an Imperius Curse, his brain completely addled from being under an extremely powerful Imperius Curse for extensive periods of time. Early reports state that the younger Crouch is being kept in a warded, heavily guarded wing of Azkaban, with around the clock medical treatment being provided. In time, the damage that Crouch Senior did to his son may be reversed and then Crouch Junior will moved into the main Azkaban area, with the rest of the prisoners.
In perhaps a rather interesting twist of irony, Bartemius Crouch Senior will not receive a trial for his crimes, but rather be locked in Azkaban for the rest of his life in the cell that Sirius Black once resided in, with a similar amount of security around the cell.
The article went out in the Daily Prophet for everyone in the Wizarding World to see and naturally it didn’t paint Crouch in a good light. In fact, the entire Ministry of Magic received scathing letters for allowing one of their top employees to smuggle his Death Eater son out of Azkaban and use a very powerful Unforgivable curse to subdue him. It got them thinking about what else the Ministry might be covering up.
Never mind the fact that no one in the Ministry knew this happened besides Crouch, but naturally they couldn’t release a statement in the Daily Prophet, because now they weren’t sure where it was located anymore. The fact that Barone owned the Daily Prophet and didn’t seem to be too fond of the Ministry spelled disaster for their public image. He never printed one false word, but he managed to dig up truthful accounts of Ministry incompetence that shook the foundation of the Ministry. Many feared that the unraveling had just begun, but few knew exactly why Barone had this vendetta against the Ministry. It couldn’t have been just about Black, it had to run deeper than that.
Despite the fact that the brunt of the scathing letters were directed towards the entire Ministry of Magic, everyone from the lowest worker on the totem pole all the way up to the Minister of Magic felt the repercussions. Most of the employees felt they had to walk around on eggshells to prevent from provoking the wrath of those hire up. Their very jobs hung in the balance.
Arthur Weasley was no exception to this rule. A meager employee at the Ministry, he was always the subject to much ridicule behind his back due to his fascination with Muggles. The truth was he found the ways Muggles had managed without magic to be rather interesting and was worth study. So much through that he took several Muggle artifacts home and took them apart to see how they worked, before magically putting them back together. It was technically against the law, as using magic on any kind of Muggle items for what ever reason.
However, since Arthur worked in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office, he knew a couple loopholes that he could use to continue his hobby without breaking the law.
Arthur arrived home just an hour before his wife usually served dinner. Sure enough as he walked inside, he saw Molly working busily in the kitchen. The sounds in the distance indicated that his four youngest were playing in the background, Percy no doubt upstairs in his room reading a book.
“Oh, Arthur, you’re home,” said Molly in a distracted voice. “The Crouch situation must be bad if the Prophet is truthful.”
“For once it is and that’s the disturbing thing,” admitted Arthur. “He’s in Azkaban, no chance of a trial, his son’s brain is rather scrambled, he’s basically insane from prolonged exposure to the Imperius Curse. The entire Ministry is in chaos.”
“Barone couldn’t have just released information to the Ministry, he just had to make a public spectacle of it,” said Molly in an agitated voice. “Arthur, I do hope the Ministry’s doing something about him, anyone who could bend the entire Ministry to their will and take control of the wards has to be dangerous. And that poor boy, being raised by someone like him, he’s an obvious dark wizard.”
“To be honest, he’s left no traces behind on how he took control of the Ministry, so there’s no way to find out how Barone took control and prevent him from doing it again,” remarked Arthur calmly. “To be honest, I’m not quite sure Barone is a dark wizard…”
“Arthur, don’t be naïve,” said Molly angrily. “Of course he’s a dark wizard, those malicious lies he spread about Dumbledore during that trial, he got him discredited, and ruined his life. Obviously didn’t want him in the way, now did he.”
“Dumbledore disregarded…” started Arthur.
“Yes, I know, I’ve heard about the will or the alleged will,” said Molly. “I doubt that Dumbledore would maliciously put any child in harm, otherwise wouldn’t have someone found him to be unfit to teach them by now? Barone must have had the resources to falsify a document.”
Arthur sighed. It would be a waste of breath to tell his wife that even You-Know-Who himself couldn’t have falsified a document that was checked by the goblins for accuracy. He loved his wife but sometimes she could be so set in her opinions it was be rather frustrating.
“FRED, GEORGE, GIVE ME MY DOLL!”
In the backyard behind the Burrow, little Ginny Weasley was absolutely furious beyond belief. Her two twin brothers, Fred and George, had decided to take it upon themselves to take her prized possession, a small ragged doll that her mother had bought from a second hand store for her third birthday.
In theory, the doll was supposed to be a Harry Potter doll, but it looked just like a generic little boy with a lighting bolt scar, nothing like the real Harry Potter with its brown hair and blue eyes. It was just one of the many products made to con gullible people out of a few galleons who would want it just because it had to do with Harry Potter.
“Now, Ginny, poor Harry here looks a bit ragged,” said George as he took the doll and looked it over. Ginny moved forward but Fred had tossed the doll over her head, where his twin caught it.
“Yes, it must be boring just spending the entire day with you,” added Fred.
“With all the tea parties and all that,” continued George as Fred had tossed the doll to George as Ginny made a movement.
“A step down for someone who vaporized You-Know-Who,” concluded Fred and the five year old girl had lost her patience, with a burst of accidental magic sending Fred flying backwards and the doll flew right into Ginny’s hands.
“Now, Ginny, that’s not becoming of a young lady,” admonished George in a playful voice.
“What would the real Harry Potter if he meets you and finds out you like to beat up boys for fun?” asked Fred and Ginny went scarlet at the thought of actually meeting the Boy-Who-Lived.
“Don’t see what the big deal is about a stupid doll,” remarked Ron who had been watching the show from a safe distance.
“Says the person who’s been saving their pocket money for two years to get the limited addition Harry Potter versus You-Know Who doll set,” replied Ginny.
“Hey, Ginny, they’re not dolls, they’re action figures with fourteen points of articulation,” argued Ron.
“Right,” chorused Fred and George in unison sarcastically.
“Well they are,” said Ron in a stubborn voice before hastily chasing the subject. “Let’s play some Quidditch before dinner shall we.”
“That sounds great,” said George as Fred nodded and Ginny took a step forward but Ron glared at her.
“Ginny, you know you can’t play,” said Ron.
“Because I’m a girl, right,” muttered Ginny darkly.
“Yes, girls aren’t allowed to play Quidditch because they could contaminate our broomsticks with their cooties,” said Fred.
“At least they can’t until they get their cootie vaccine during their first year at Hogwarts,” added George.
Ginny walked off.
“C’mon Harry, we don’t need these idiots to have fun,” muttered Ginny to her doll as she walked into the house, clutching the doll fondly before she headed up to her room before dinner.
Edward Zabini’s head jerked up, as two of his men entered the office.
“Shut the door behind you!” snapped Boss Zabini in a frantic voice, and the mobsters hastened to do so. “Did anyone follow you two here?”
“No boss, pretty sure they didn’t,” answered one of the mobsters as the second one nodded dumbly by his side.
“Are you sure?” asked Zabini.
“Yes, yes, we’re sure,” said the second mobster. “Boss, you seem to be a bit jumpy today.”
“Jumpy, jump, how dare you jump to conclusions!” cried Zabini, as he pushed his chair towards the wall, so he didn’t have his back towards his men or to the wall. “My wife could kill me at any moment, and you two are treating this like a joke.”
The two mobsters exchanged uneasy looks.
“Boss, you always say your wife wants to kill you but she hasn’t yet,” replied one of the mobsters in a brave voice.
It’s different today, different you mugs, because listen up, it’s like this see,” responded Zabini in a frantic voice. “Sirius Black was cleared of all charges yesterday.”
“You mean that notorious mass murderer who is all over the news?” inquired one of the mobsters.
“No, the guy who picks up other men when he’s dressed like a nun,” fired back Zabini sarcastically. “Of course the notorious mass murder, you goons. My rival, that no good Boss Barone got him freed, the Ministry of Magic had no choice and Bartemius Crouch was lucky enough not to get whacked. It’s only a matter of time before Adrianna decides that I have a little accident and decides to move onto this Black guy.”
“But Boss, what makes you think that your wife wants to knock you off to run off with his black guy this Black guy?” asked one of the mobsters.
Zabini sighed, this is what he got for hiring people who never finished school.
“Listen closely, it’s very simple, that even you two could understand it,” answered Zabini before dropping his voice to a near whisper. “He’s fucking rich.”
The mobsters nodded and Zabini spun around, before he looked around the window.
“Something out there,” said Zabini in a paranoid voice. “Check it out, check it out!”
The two mobsters sighed, both wondering if the money they were receiving was really worth it but they looked out the window.
“It’s just a squirrel Boss Zabini,” answered one of the mobsters slowly.
“Is it really?” asked Zabini as he looked around wildly from side to side. “My wife could have stuffed it with explosives to do me in for all I know. She would do something like that.”
“Boss Zabini, why not take care of your wife before she takes care of you?” suggested one of the mobsters.
“Yes I could kill her but then I’d get both the Muggle and Magical authorities on my case,” answered Zabini. “If she kills me, then everyone would put it down as a tragic accident. However, if I kill her, then I’m guilty until proven innocent. That’s how the law really works.”
The mobsters nodded calmly and Zabini sat rigid.
“Ticking, something’s ticking,” muttered Zabini as he looked over towards the wrist watch from one of his men. He took it.
“Boss Zabini, what gives?” asked the mobster but Zabini took his wand before he ripped the watch apart, destroying it beyond repair. “Hey, my dead father gave me that watch.”
“Well it could have been a bomb that could have killed me and worse, caused expensive damage to my office,” replied Zabini brooding tone. “She could kill me at any time, but she’s making me sweat it, thinks she can fake me out.”
Zabini looked around, a wild look in his eyes.
“Adrianna you think you can get me, like you got your other six husbands, well I’ll show you,” muttered Zabini wildly. “You can’t get me, no bitch can get the better of Boss Edward Zabini, is that clear?”
“Yes, of course, Boss Zabini,” chorused the two yes-men mobsters in unison.
“Stop patronizing me, you twits!” snapped Zabini angrily.
“Of course, Boss Zabini, anything you say, boss,” answered the mobsters.
“Listen, I’ve been having a bad year and my wife could kill me at any time, Barone has cut my profits in half, but I will not go down without a fight,” continued Zabini in a manic voice. “I am Edward Zabini, one of the premier crime lords in all of Britain, I will make everyone fear my might, I will cripple everyone into submission. Listen here you mugs, spread the world, I’m going to be ruthless, cold, and uncaring, everything that a businessman should be. I will run my competitors out of business, right to the morgue. Nothing can get in my way.”
“DADDY!” called the voice of Blaise from the stairway “Are you up here?”
From the outside, Blaise knocked on the door and the two mobsters became rigid.
“Don’t just stand there, let my daughter in!” ordered Zabini.
“I don’t know, it could be a plot to kill you boss,” suggested one of the mobsters.
“Are you trying to tell me that my own daughter would kill me?” asked Zabini in a dangerous voice. “I ought you have you busted down to scrubbing toilets, now let her in before I decide to redecorate the walls with your brains.”
With that, Zabini’s men made haste to open the door and Blaise walked in, with a smirk on her face. The seven year old girl walked in, ignoring the two mobsters, before she sat down in front of her father’s desk.
“What is it, princess, I’m on a very tight schedule?” asked Boss Zabini.
“Daddy, you could do me a favor and take me shopping, I need some new clothes,” replied Blaise.
“What about your mother?” asked Boss Zabini.
“She doesn’t know anything, she makes me get boy clothes all the time,” replied Blaise, a bit of mild irritation evident in her voice. “Plus, she’s been in the Potions lab every time I come home and she’s locked me out, she won’t talk to anyone. If it wasn’t for our house elf, I couldn’t eat anything.”
Boss Zabini sighed, his wife had wanted a son and had always cut Blaise’s hair short when she was younger and dressed her in boy clothes. Hair growth charms cast by Zabini, passed off as accidental magic, put a stop to the hair cutting thing.
“Okay, this weekend, but Daddy’s really busy right now,” replied Boss Zabini. “I promise, I’ll have some time this weekend.”
“Okay,” answered Blaise in a sweet, mostly innocent voice. “Oh and before I forget, I might have committed a bit of accidental magic today at school.”
“So, I suppose I have to go to the school and meet with someone,” replied Boss Zabini.
“Actually I didn’t, it seems as if Gillworth forgot about accidentally hanging his niece upside down from a lightpost,” said Blaise. “She’s making fun of Harry and Hermione for actually studying to make sure they did well in school.”
“Wait a minute, Blaise, Harry and Hermione, as in you finally made friends,” answered Boss Zabini.
“Yes surprising enough, after I swore I would hate everything about that Muggle School that you made me go to, Dad,” replied Blaise.
“Now, Blaise, I was hoping that you would be tolerant against Muggles and not take your mother’s attitude about them,” admonished Boss Zabini. “That’s why I sent you to that school.”
“I’m ahead of most of them because of the home schooling I got until last year,” replied Blaise, as it was custom in most of the older pureblood families to home school their children starting at the age of three years old. “Still, Harry’s not what you would expect, he’s actually pretty smart and not an arrogant prat like most would expect the Boy-Who-Lived to me.”
Edward Zabini had taken a drink just seconds ago and had spit out onto his desk when he had heard the words “Boy-Who-Lived”.
“Wait a minute, Harry, as in Harry Potter,” stated Boss Zabini, as conflicting emotions ran through his mind. “The Harry Potter.”
“Yes, Daddy, that Harry Potter,” replied Blaise. “I can try and get you his autograph if you want me to.”
“No, no, nothing like that,” said Boss Zabini quickly. “Blaise, I must insist that you be careful, as you do know that Harry Potter’s current guardian as Allan Michael Barone.”
“Who?” asked Blaise.
“My fiercest business rival,” elaborated Boss Zabini, as he looked at his daughter seriously. “I might be paranoid, but there is a strong chance that he could be using young Mr. Potter to get close to you, to gain information on me.”
“Daddy, I really don’t care about your work,” answered Blaise stubbornly.
“I know, but you might someday, when you have to carry on in my place when you’re older,” said Boss Zabini. “Plus this Barone doesn’t know of your lack of interest regarding the mafia..”
“What if this isn’t about you?” pleaded Blaise stubbornly.
“Just be careful, I don’t want to see my only daughter get hurt,” said Boss Zabini. “I doubt that Harry Potter would be in on it, he’s only six years old, it’s not like he’s going to be taking over the family business any time soon. Still, Barone’s grooming him to be the eventual successor and Barone’s a dangerously cunning foe, he brought the Ministry of Magic to its knees.”
“Okay, I’ll be careful, but I don’t think it’s a problem,” replied Blaise. “So, you’re going to take me shopping on Saturday, just the two of us, father daughter stuff, no mobster things either.”
“Yes, of course, princess,” said Edward in a tired, defeated tone,
“And please, get some rest, you look like you haven’t slept in months,” added Blaise as she exited the office as the two mobsters in his office looked at Boss Zabini, barely able to keep a straight face.
“What is it that amuses you two?” demanded Boss Zabini.
“Nothing boss,” replied one of the mobsters quickly. “It’s just that…”
“You’ve think I’ve gone soft, because of my daughter, haven’t you?” asked Zabini coldly.
“No, of course not, boss, we would never.”
“Good, because I’m not soft by any means, Barone is not going to get the better of me, capice,” said Zabini and his two mobsters looked confused. “You understand?”
“Everything but capice,” replied one of the mobsters.
In his mob headquarters, Harry arrived to check to see if he had any outstanding business that he needed to take care of, before he went over to Hermione’s house to work on her Occlumency training which was coming on a bit better than Harry could have ever expected, but a lot of work was to be done for Harry to feel comfortable with letting his best friend in on the truth.
Harry made his way up to the front desk where Antonio was filing paperwork.
“Antonio, any pressing matters that I need to know about for today,” replied Harry.
“Other than getting the latest financial reports from your businesses, it’s been a slow day, a few people paid up their debts and we’re tracking down a runner, but that shouldn’t be much of a problem right yet for you until our people track him down,” said Antonio.
“Excellent, how are the businesses doing?” asked Harry
“All profit in all ends, no money losing divisions at all,” informed Antonio. “A far cry from where we were this time last year.”
Harry turned his head to smirk. He wouldn’t want to toot his own horn, but his determination to build an empire to properly compact Voldemort and his Death Eaters, along with the Ministry of Magic
Without another word, Harry made his way upstairs to check in with Sirius in his room in the upper portion of the headquarters. Harry walked up before he knocked on Sirius’s room and Sirius walked up, looking as if he had just gotten out of bed.
“Oh hello Harry, don’t you have to go to school soon?” asked Sirius.
“I’ve been there and went,” replied Harry.
“Merlin, I must have been celebrating my recent freedom a bit too hard last night,” said Sirius.
“Then I guess you didn’t see the Daily Prophet,” remarked Harry and Sirius shook his head. “Well to make a long tedious story a short, rather amusing story, Crouch was chucked into your old cell at Azkaban without a trial.”
Sirius laughed madly at the very thought of poetic justice being served at the Ministry.
“Oh that’s too good, serves Crouch right for attempting to play games with you,” said Sirius. “Still, I bet the Ministry is steamed that you decided to go back on your deal.”
“I said if you didn’t get your trial in forty eight hours, I would finish my story,” said Harry. “They took forty eight hours, nine minutes, and twelve seconds to give you your trial. So technically I didn’t lie.”
“No, I guess you didn’t, but don’t expect the Ministry to follow the same logic,” cautioned Sirius. “With Crouch out, Fudge and Umbridge will be your biggest opposition.”
“I can handle Fudge well enough, if he tries anything, I’ll cut him off at the knees and bury him in cement,” answered Harry coolly. “Umbridge on the other hand, is very influential for someone with her distinct personality flaws. What she lacks in magical power, she makes up in ruthlessness against those who look to be opposing her. She managed to stay in power in the Ministry in the other timeline for quite sometime. She may be a bit more of a challenge to neutralize than Fudge, but what’s life without a few challenges.”
Harry paused for a few seconds.
“Still, I will come up with a fate worth of someone like Umbridge,” added Harry. “School was rather entertaining today, considering that Evelyn got her just desserts.”
“Really, from what you’ve told me about her, she would get along real great with my dear old mother with her smug superior attitude, of course if she wasn’t a Muggle,” said Sirius. “So, what did you do to her?”
“Me, I didn’t do anything, I don’t use my powers to terrorize other children, just Ministry officials,” replied Harry innocently. “Seriously, Sirius, I believe it was Blaise Zabini who Evelyn caught at a bad moment and the next thing Hermione and I knew, she was suspended on upside down from the nearest light post. Needless to say, Gillworth wasn’t too happy, but considering the fact I didn’t want the Ministry of Magic’s attention to be drawn towards the school, I might have modified his memory and masked all traces of magic.”
“I suppose you’ve done that before,” said Sirius.
“Merlin, no, Hermione did in the other timeline. That was the first time,” answered Harry. “Erasing memories that is, I’ve masked magic traces before, when I was on the run from Voldemort and his Death Eaters.”
“Harry, I don’t mean to sound like Moony, but I guess I should, as your godfather and a semi-responsible adult figure, well in theory anyway, say that modifying memories without knowing exactly what you’re doing, blah, blah, brain damage, lecture, lecture, nag, nag,” replied Sirius before he laughed, now that he had done his own responsible deed for one day.
“Gillworth will be fine, he was a bit loopy for the rest of the day, but I had to make him forget something big after all,” said Harry.
“Yes, and this Blaise girl, she’s your sworn business rival’s daughter, which as your godfather, I should caution you about consorting with someone who could easily turn around and kill you when you’re older if she decides to follow in her father’s footsteps,” answered Sirius. “But also as your godfather, it is my sworn duty to give you a hard time about any girl that you even have the most remote amount of interaction with.”
“Sirius, we are six and seven years old,” admonished Harry.
“Never stopped the Egyptian magical people,” remarked Sirius.
“That’s not the point and besides, there’s a bit of a morality issue about me having anything beyond friendship with anyone my physical age, due to my unique circumstances,” said Harry calmly.
“Morality issues, you sound like Lily right there,” muttered Sirius underneath his breath before clearing his throat as Harry narrowed his eyes, like Lily used to do before she got mad. “I mean, great Harry, remain strong in your convictions, don’t let your old dog of a godfather sway you towards any debauchery.”
“That’s what I though you said,” said Harry. “Thankfully I have about six or seven before the inevitable internal battle between my hormonally crazed teenage self and my morally restricted older self. That’s when the real fun of having two conflicting presences in my body begins. The younger self is easy to suppress right now, but when I hit the teenage years…”
“I get to really fulfill my obligation of godfather by giving you guidance,” concluded Sirius.
“Yes, I can just image what your type of guidance would be Sirius,” remarked Harry. “Now, I must be off to Hermione’s to continue with her training.”
“Okay, see you later Harry,” replied Sirius as Harry walked off. Now that he was free, Sirius didn’t quite know what to do with his time.
Time passed rather well over the next month and a half or so, leading to the final day before summer vacation for Harry and Hermione. It was also a glorious day, as it would be the last day that they would be in the presence of Professor Remington Q. Gillworth, the Third, Esquire, as they would move up to a different year and a different teacher.
Harry could almost hear the choir of angels singing in his head but Gillworth was no doubt ready to make a lasting impression on his students.
“Children, this is the last time many of us will be meeting,” announced Gillworth at the beginning of class. “Indeed, I, Professor Remington Q. Gillworth, the Third, Esquire, will no longer be your teacher as I have a brand new batch of inept children to teach next year. Now I, Professor Remington Q. Gillworth, the Third, Esquire, will miss very few of you.”
Gillworth looked at his many students.
“Let’s see, too ugly, too fat, too short, nose is crooked, do something, anything with that hair,” continued Gillworth as he moved down the row before reaching Evelyn. “Perfect in everyway, a model student in this class, and a product of the teaching of Professor Remington Q. Gillworth, the Third, Esquire.”
“Thank you Uncle Remy er I mean Professor,” said Evelyn pompously, as she looked around, as the other students applauded a bit robotically.
“I wonder if our report cards come with air sick bags,” whispered Harry in an undertone to Hermione, whose lip twitched, in an attempt not to giggle.
“Now, Mr. Potter and Miss Granger, our two troublemaker students,” answered Gillworth. “Potter, let me make it one thing perfect…”
“Remy, I do have a snake here,” said Harry and Vinny the snake was currently asleep, wrapped around Harry’s shoulders, underneath his shirt.
“Yes, Potter, I know, believe me I do,” replied Gillworth in a very forced voice. “You think you’re very clever don’t you, Potter, exploiting my fears for your own gain.”
“I think it’s hilarious,” answered Harry.
“Potter, not all teachers have a fear of snakes like I do and you will not be able to use your little friend next year to condition a teacher into fear,” retorted Gillworth. “Then perhaps yourself and Miss Granger will be exposed as the cheaters you are.”
“We’ll see Gillworth, we’ll see,” said Harry in a bored voice. “The fact remains that our report card grades were tabulated by a third party source, so any grades we got were earned fairly.”
Professor Remington Q. Gillworth, the Third, Esquire stared at Harry with pure venom. It was true, the Headmistress didn’t trust him to be able to fairly calculate his own grades, so she had a third party do so.
“Of course, if you are so certain of your teaching methods, then I daresay you would have no problem letting comparing your prized student’s performance to myself or Hermione’s,” added Harry.
“Fine you infernal brat!” snapped Gillworth as he bent over towards his desk, before picking up three envelopes containing the final grades for Harry, Hermione, and Evelyn. Without another word, he ripped open Evelyn’s envelope and began to read with a crestfallen look on his face.
“See, I bet you even Professor Gillworth didn’t expect me to do this good, he’s shocked,” bragged Evelyn pompously as Gillworth numbly dropped the paper at his niece’s desk. She took it and became angry as she read it. “What, it says I’m going to have to do this year again because I failed everything!”
Hermione and Harry exchanged smirks.
“You two, you did this!” wailed Evelyn, her face turning beet red as she pointed her finger at them. “Uncle Remy, you have to pass me, this isn’t fair!”
“Now, I’m certain it would be mean and degrading to do this right now, but may we see our grades, Professor Remington Q. Gillworth, the Third, Esquire?” asked Harry.
Gillworth shoved the papers at Harry and Hermione, with disdain etched on his face. The two friends exchanged nods.
“Perfect Outstanding Grades,” read Hermione. “Tied first in the year in fact. What about you Harry?”
“Same thing,” confirmed Harry. “Now, Professor, for my own grade on you, you fail.
Gillworth’s eye twitched, wishing the Headmistress hadn’t banned use of the “board of education”, because this brat was asking for it. He opted to bend down, so he was nearly in Harry’s face.
“I hate you,” whispered Gillworth.
“Somehow I don’t think Harry’s going to be too upset about that,” replied Hermione and at least half of the other students laughed, which caused Evelyn to glare at them.
“Hey, we’re not going to be in this class much longer,” remarked one of the boys, shrugging his shoulders.
“Still, I should perhaps thank Professor Gillworth for his…efforts in teaching me and Hermione this year,” said Harry as he casually waved his wand and Gillworth’s desk turned into about three dozen snakes. Gillworth turned around and leapt backwards.
“SNAKES!” yelled Gillworth in horror before he fell backwards in a dead faint.
“What did you do to him?” accused Evelyn.
“Pretend you don’t see the snakes,” hissed Harry into Hermione’s ear and she nodded. “Really, I don’t know what you mean, our poor teacher fainted under the pressure of his own bad teaching abilities.”
“We better get the Headmistress, he could have been hurt,” said Hermione in a mock worried voice. “C’mon Harry.”
“Brilliant idea Hermione,” agreed Harry as he cancelled the illusion spell as the two walked out of the classroom.
“How did you do that, it didn’t seem like no one else saw the snakes?” questioned Hermione.
“Because, I made the illusion to repel all Muggles, it’s all about intent you see,” lectured Harry.
“Advanced illusionary spells, wow, that’s supposed to be like really hard magic,” said Hermione in an awed voice as Harry raised his eyebrow. “I borrowed one of your books, I figure you wouldn’t mind.”
“No, it’s good to get a head start,” agreed Harry.
“What if there had been any other magical people in their besides us?” asked Hermione.
“They’re not,” said Harry in a certain voice. “Hermione, I’ve been planning this little farewell prank for weeks, but it’s just much more then a mere prank, as I’m going to make sure that no one suffers from Gillworth’s horrid teaching ever again.”
“How?” prodded Hermione.
“Now, Hermione, I don’t want to spoil the surprise but Gillworth will be taken care of,” said Harry and they walked off to get the Headmistress.
At the end of the day, Harry and Hermione walked off from the school.
“Harry, an entire summer without school it’s going to be…” replied Hermione.
“Excellent!” concluded Harry.
“I know, but what if we fall behind?” asked Hermione in a worried voice.
“Hermione, we’re the best two students in our year, we’ve studied our brains out for ten months in the year, so let’s go out and enjoy our time off from school,” answered Harry in an excited voice. “After all, we ended the year in a bang.”
Evelyn stomped around, flanked by her remaining few friends, who looked all smug and superior. In an interesting note, those friends also had to repeat the year again.
“You two, it’s all your fault that I have to take this year over again and those guys in those white jackets said they are going to take away Uncle Remy for a very long time!” cried Evelyn. “I don’t know where they’re taking him but they put a funny jacket on him!”
“Uncle Remy is going to be spending some quality time in a nice rubber room with no windows for seeing things that are not there,” said Harry.
“Evelyn, just leave, you’re not better than us, so stop being so smug,” added Hermione and Evelyn shoved Hermione lightly but since she was weak, Hermione didn’t move backwards. “Honestly, that’s pathetic.”
Evelyn stuck her nose up in the air snobbishly.
“Don’t see what Potter sees in you, I’d be a much better friend than you, at least I take my nose out of a book for some fresh air once and a while,” muttered Evelyn. “Nothing but a buck teeth nightmare with frizzy hair, not as smart and pretty like I am. Then again, I’m sure that scar might have affected Potter’s brain.”
Evelyn’s friends then screamed and leapt back from the girl.
“What now?” prompted Evelyn as she stuck her nose into the air.
“Evelyn, your hair’s gone!” shrieked one of the girls.
“Ew, ick!” added a second girl.
“We’re not your friends anymore, you’re bald,” said the third girl as they stormed off, noses stuck into the air.
Evelyn felt the top of her head and she shrieked when she felt her baldness. She burst into tears before she ran shrieking in horror. She had to repeat this year, her favorite uncle was taken away, she lost all of her friends, and now her hair. This was the worst day in Evelyn’s short life.
“What I didn’t do anything,” responded Harry in an innocent voice as Hermione looked curiously at him and then she realized what she might have done.
“Accidental magic again,” suggested Hermione weakly.
“I guess, once we get your Occlumency down, we need to get that under control,” responded Harry. “I’m sure her hair will grow back, eventually, maybe.”
In the cavernous headquarters of the Board of Governors, the nameless, faceless council of twelve board members were submerged in the shadows behind a long table, where only their right hands were visible to anyone else in the room.
On the other end of the table, Nicholas Flamel sat behind the table, dressed in a pinstriped three piece suit and a derby hat with pink feather sticking out of the top of it, while wearing spectacles straight out of the eighteenth century.
“Congratulations, Nicholas Flamel, you have been accepted as the brand new Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!” chorused the twelve board members in a creepy, unified tone.
“Much obliged,” replied Flamel in a jovial voice. “The wife’s been needling me about getting a job, we’re at each other’s throats half the time, but when you’ve been married for nearly seven hundred years, you’ll have an occasional martial spat or two.”
“Not so fast, Nicholas Flamel, you must recite the oath of the Headmaster,” added the Board of Governors in unison. “Now repeat after us, I, Nicholas Flamel, do solemnly swear…”
“I, Nicholas Flamel, do solemnly vow,” said Flamel before adding. “Sorry, the wife wants me to cut down on the swearing, believe me, I’ve learned some rather interesting one’s over the last seven hundred or so years.”
“To uphold the honor of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,” continued the Board of Governors.
“To uphold the honor of Hogwarts School of the Witchcraft and Wizardry,” repeated Flamel.
“Along with all the decrees passed by the Board of Governors,” continued the Board of Governors.
“Along with any decrees that are fair and have not been influenced by blackmail,” said Flamel.
“And protect the school from any external security threats,” concluded the board.
“If anyone messes with Hogwarts on my watch, they’ll be hexed into oblivion,” concluded Flamel.
“Congratulations Professor Flamel, you’re now officially the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,” declared the board of governors in their creepy, unified manner as one of them handed Flamel a stack of folders, while still mysteriously submerged in the shadows “Now there is the matter of filling the vacant position of Potions Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We have several candidates that you should interview awaiting outside the chambers.”
“Send them in one by one,” requested Flamel.
The doors swung open as a middle aged man with brown hair walked into the office, before he stood in front of Flamel.
“Good morning, I’m the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Nicholas Flamel,” answered Flamel as he shook the applicant’s hand.
“Richard R. Richards,” answered the applicant, careful to maintain eye contact as Flamel flipped through the folder.
“Ah, Mr. Richards, it says here that you were the Potions Professor of the Liberty School of Magic for fifteen years,” replied Flamel. “Plus, you have a second level mastery degree in potions, very good then but the United States teaching system is a bit different then the British teaching system, from what I’ve seen it’s a bit more sporadic. I feel that you may have to be acquainted with our style so the transition is smooth and easy. Still, take the time to readjust your methods and if we need another replacement, I’ll be more than happy to take another look at you.”
“Ah yes, thank you Professor Flamel for your time,” answered Richards as the two shook hands again and Richards walked off, a little bit put out that he didn’t get the job.
“Next!” called Flamel and the door swung open to revealed Gilderoy Lockhart walking inside wearing violet robes with his hair perfectly conditioned. Before Lockhart could open his mouth, Flamel cut him off. “Next!”
“Nicholas my old chap, surely you recognize that I would be a suitable candidate to fill the role of Potions Professor,” replied Lockhart. “Perhaps you may have read my books, detailing my many travels which I had to use potions among the rare and exotic.”
“Believe me, Gilderoy I have read all of your books when I felt like I needed help to properly vomit,” answered Flamel calmly. “And for the record, I’ve found two thousand, seven hundred, and nineteen factual inaccuracies in your complete collection and I daresay I may have found more if I would have read your books more than once. I will be sending you that list in due time to the Daily Prophet, I trust Mr. Barone would have fun with it.”
Lockhart sat there, mouth wide open, unable to formulate two words.
“I do apologize Gilderoy of depriving you of the opportunity to fill the minds of young children with rubbish,” replied Flamel. “Dumbledore might have hired you but that’s Dumbledore for you, that manipulative young coot. Now, next!”
Lockhart was blasted out of the Board of Governors chambers
“My hair!” shrieked Lockhart from outside as a small figure walked into the chambers. The figure of Killer Schwartz, dressed in his military fatigues, with his porn star mustache and prominent mullet sticking out.
The black midget looked at Flamel who looked around.
“I said next,” replied Flamel.
“Down here mate,” declared Killer Schwartz.
“Ah forgive me Mr…” prompted Flamel.
“The name’s Schwartz, Killer Schwartz,” responded Killer Schwartz. “My friends call me Killer Schwartz but my enemies call me…Killer Schwartz.”
“Killer Schwartz, what makes you think you’re qualified to teaches Potion at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?” prompted Flamel.
“Potions, I thought this was the Bounty Collection office,” replied Schwartz.
“Oh, you want the chamber three hallways down to your right,” said Flamel.
“Thanks for the information, if you need any dangerously stupid magical creatures to be captured, call for Killer Schwartz,” said Killer Schwartz as he made his way to the Bounty Collection office.
“Next!” remarked Flamel and the large figure of Crabbe walked into the chambers next, with a blank look on his face.
“Ah, Vincent Crabbe Senior, come in,” encouraged Flamel and Crabbe stupidly walked into the room. “So tell me, what are your qualifications?”
Crabbe looked blankly at Flamel.
“Fascinating, quite fascinating, truthfully fascinating but sadly a mute would not be able to be able to properly teach a class at Hogwarts,” explained Flamel. “While you’re a step up from Snape, you still aren’t quite what we’re looking for. Still, your qualifications are quite excellent but your inability to talk prevents you from getting the job”
Crabbe just walked away without the slightest bit of emotions. Flamel leaned back slightly, coming to the unfortunate realization that the standards for people who applied for the position of Potions Professor for Hogwarts had dropped since the period in the sixteen seventies, eighties, and nineties that he had taught the subject under an assumed name at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
“Next,” said Flamel and Narcissa Black walked into the chambers, her blond hair flipping from side to side. “Ah, Narcissa Black, good day to you.”
“Good morning, Headmaster Flamel,” said Narcissa respectively. “As you know, I’m here to apply for the position of Potions Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You have my school records, along with Minerva McGonagall’s letter of recommendation that I’d receive the position”
“Yes I did Miss Black and looking through your qualifications, you look more than qualified,” answered Flamel. “I’m at a loss to understand why you weren’t hired in the first place…”
“Professor Flamel with all due respect, this woman’s husband bullied us into submission with black mail to push our agenda, we cannot forgive this,” interjected the twelve board members in sequence.
“Former husband,” corrected Narcissa.
“Now, I’m sure if we put her on a period of probation to prove herself to us, she can safely be given a job,” said Flamel in a firm voice. “After all her qualifications are the best I can see, so it would be foolish not to allow her to share her knowledge with the young minds at Hogwarts.”
“Very well Flamel but be warned, we’ll be keeping an eye on Narcissa Black and should she attempt anything that threatens Hogwarts or the students within at any time, the Board of Governors will be forced to take swift and decisive action,” chorused the Board of Governors simultaneously.
“Good then, Professor Black, you’re now the new Potions Mistress for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I suspect I’ll be seeing you all too soon,” said Flamel kindly. “Good day to you.”
“The same to you, Professor Flamel,” replied Narcissa with a respectful bow of her head and Flamel responded in kind as Narcissa walked off.
On July Thirty First, Harry and Sirius were in Diagon Alley, Harry under the guise of Boss Barone. Sirius insisted today would be a good day to take a couple of hours to check up at Harry’s finances at Gringotts. On the other hand, Harry suspected that Sirius just wanted to get him out of the house so the others could arrange a surprise party for his birthday, but that was just his paranoid self speaking.
As they walked out of Gringotts, a rather interesting sign in front of a store called Wacky Wizard Things. It was a small store, buried between Flourish and Blotts and Quality Quidditch Supplies. Moving closer, the sign read: Harry Potter Birthday Sale: All Harry Potter related merchandise Thirty Percent Off.
“Sirius, look at that,” remarked Harry. “I’ve got to take a closer look at this.”
Sirius followed his godson into the store and it only took Harry thirty seconds to find something to get righteously indignant about.
“Oh for Merlin’s sake, look at this, Harry Potter toilet paper,” muttered Harry in an agitated voice.
“Wait, that’s just regular toilet paper with a picture of a lightning bolt plastered on the package, at three times the cost,” said Sirius frowning. “And three times the cost, even with the sale price.”
“And it’s almost sold out too, only one package left, people buy this crap, this is absolutely disgusting how people are taken advantage of with tacky merchandise such as this, look Harry Potter dinner ware, the official Harry Potter board game, cheap Harry Potter dolls, those don’t even look like me at all, and the official Harry Potter pop-up book, among other things,” lectured Harry. “The question I’m asking is why haven’t I ever seen a knut of this. If people are going to prostitute my name to sell tacky merchandise, shouldn’t I at least get some money out it?”
“Come to think of it, yeah Harry,” replied Sirius as he pulled an action figure on the self. “Look the official Sirius Black action figure, with Killing Curse action.”
“Merlin you’ve been innocent for three months and they still have that on the shelf,” said Harry rolling his eyes as Sirius pushed the “try me” button on the chest of the action figure, which caused the plastic wand in his hand to light up green.
“Plus it doesn’t even look like me,” added Sirius. “What kind of idiots would buy this stuff?”
At then the door opened and nine Weasleys walked inside.
“Mum look, they’ve got the new Harry Potter doll, dressed in Gryffindor robes,” squealed Ginny. “Can I please have it, please?”
Vinny slightly poked his head out from underneath Harry’s shirt.
“Is it just me, or did it get redder in here?” commented Vinny but Harry shushed him before he motioned Sirius to step back to watch the Weasleys.
“I don’t know Ginny, it’s a bit expensive,” said Molly Weasley.
“Yes and your other doll might get jealous,” said Fred.
“Yeah, thinking that you’ve replaced him,” added George.
“Please Mum,” begged Ginny.
“Maybe for your birthday, dear,” answered Molly Weasley as she looked at the price apprehensively, thinking that it would be a long time before they could even hope to afford this item for their daughter.
“Look at all these dolls in Gryffindor robes,” said Barone as he walked out the shadows with Sirius. “Not one Harry Potter doll in any other house robe.”
“Well of course, we all know that Harry Potter will have to get sorted into Gryffindor,” replied Ron Weasley proudly.
“Ron, don’t talk to…” started Molly but her eyes narrowed when she recognized who she was talking to. “Well, Allan Michael Barone?”
“Ah, you must be the…Weasleys,” replied Barone calmly as he looked them over, his eyes resting on both Ron and Ginny for the briefest of seconds in a cold stare before he took the other family members into account, nodding approvingly when he reached the twins.
“Yes, we are and I just have something to tell you,” said Molly.
“Molly not in public, please,” muttered Arthur in a pleading voice.
“Barone, you take a child that Albus Dumbledore had ensured that was safe and took him from his appointed home, kidnapping him!” shouted Molly in an angry voice. “Furthermore, you fabricated lies to get destroy Dumbledore’s reputation and you somehow controlled the Ministry of Magic with obvious dark magic! You’re not a fit guardian for a child in the first place and if I had anything to say about it, you would have been thrown into Azkaban. All your crimes will catch up to you in the end, I just hope that poor Harry Potter isn’t victimized too badly by your petty games!”
Barone stood there, not backing down at all, and stood there calmly.
“Are you done yet?” asked Barone casually. “I’d watch all the yelling if I was you, it could raise your blood pressure to dangerous levels and I would hate to see so many children be without a mother because of a rage induced heart attack.”
“HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT ME?” shouted Molly and Barone just nodded, before motioning for Sirius to follow him. “HEY, GET BACK HERE, YOU CAN’T JUST WALK AWAY FROM ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!”
However, Barone and Sirius kept walking.
“Mum, I think they did walk away from you,” said George.
“That man’s a hero among men,” added Fred.
“Quiet you two, it’s obvious that mother is just concerned for the fact that a ruffian like that is running unchecked and corrupting the Boy-Who-Lived,” ordered Percy pompously.
“Yes, that Barone bloke actually thought that Harry Potter would get sorted into any house but Gryffindor, I mean he has to be in Gryffindor so we can be best friends forever,” remarked Ron happily.
As Harry had suspected, Sirius’s attempts to divert him to Diagon Alley had been for an attempt to stall him so a birthday party could be prepared. It was a small gathering, with Hermione and her parents, Antonio, and Remus coming for Harry’s seventh birthday party. After opening a few presents, it was time for cake.
The cake looked good enough, but it tasted a bit off, which could have been accounted for the fact that Hermione’s parents were dentists and thus her mother didn’t put any sugar in the cake.
“I suspected this would happen when you told me Hermione’s parents were dentists, but I’ve eaten better shoe leather when I was in my Animagus form,” muttered Sirius when Marie was out of an earshot.
“Sirius, don’t know what you’re talking about, the cake tastes wonderful,” answered Jonathan Granger.
“Plus think of all the cavities you’ll avoid,” added Hermione.
“Bah, I’m a wizard, I can just charm those away,” said Sirius as he reached into the pocket of his robe before he pulled out a flask of sugar. “Luckily I came prepared.”
“Hey, Sirius, could you spare some of that?” asked Harry hopefully as he watched Sirius siphon the sugar onto his cake, before he took a bite.
“No can do, Harry, you should have came prepared,” said Sirius as he took another bite as Harry just realized something.
“Well, I’m an idiot, I can just conjure some sugar, I’m a wizard after all,” said Harry.
“No, Harry, you can’t, the magical creation of sugar is impossible under Gamp’s Five Laws of Elemental Transfiguration,” informed Remus. “Sugar can’t be just magically created, modified, or mixed in, it’s the fifth, final, and perhaps most frustrating law.”
“Curse you Gamp,” said Harry as he hung his head. “Well I guess I’m going to have to give myself that birthday present to myself to lift my spirits.”
Harry pulled a small wrapped box from inside his robe and unwrapped it in a few seconds, before he opened the box.
“It’s a wand,” said Sirius.
“Not just any wand, Sirius, its Albus Dumbledore’s wand,” explained Harry. “You see, I bought in when all of his possessions were auctioned off, I just never had reason to mention it until now. I also got my Invisibility Cloak back, but it seems like I might be missing something, almost like there should be a third thing along with those two items.”
Harry just shrugged as Hermione’s mother had rejoined the table.
“Probably nothing important, but I sure wish this cake I’m eating had some sugar in it,” said Harry and the wand lit enough, before it engulfed the piece of cake with yellow light. Harry picked up the cake and took a tentative bite out of it. “Now that’s more like it. Dig the sugary taste.”
Remus and Sirius looked at each other. Harry had broken the very laws of magic with Dumbledore’s old wand.
“That’s no mere wand,” whispered Sirius in a cryptic voice as Harry leaned backwards as the others looked at him concerned.
“Okay, this wand may be good, but it requires me to channel too much power to use it, so it does me no good, at least until I’m powerful enough to control it without getting fatigued,” concluded Harry as he pocketed Dumbledore’s former wand.
As the months went by, thanks to some creative maneuvering by the law office of Schyster and Boldface, Harry received royalties from all Harry Potter related merchandise. The companies offered sixty five percent, when one Boss Barone along with some mobster bodyguards came to visit their company headquarters.
Another school year happened and Hermione actually seemed to be a bit disappointed that the holiday went by so fast, but she resolved to be ready to return to learn. At this point, it was the first week of October, with Harry and Hermione, seven and eight years old respectively. It was a rather peaceful year with a teacher that actually taught the subject material. The Daily Prophet also was doing well, with several new subscribers and Harry achieved a great deal of profit all across the board in all of his business ventures.
It was a Wednesday afternoon and Harry had passed the time by going over his memories using the pensieve that Remus and Sirius had bought him for his birthday to help him remember memories that were currently blocked in parts of his brain that had been partially damaged by the Cruciatus Curse.
Harry had just pulled himself from the pensieve, a rather disturbed look etched in his eyes as Sirius opened the door.
“Hey Harry how are…” started Sirius and Harry looked absolutely mortified as he stared into the Pensieve. “What’s wrong?”
“As I was going through my memories, I came to a really disturbing realization,” explained Harry. “It was a day that I got into an altercation with a group of Slytherin boys in my year.”
“Harry, I got into an alteration with Slytherins every day for seven years,” said Sirius. “Surely it can’t be that disturbing.”
“Well you want to know who one of the boys in that group was?” asked Harry and Sirius nodded. “Blaise Zabini.”
Sirius did a double take and seemed to lose the ability to speak.
“I know, the name Zabini did sound familiar to me and now I know, Blaise Zabini’s mother is Adrianna Zabini, who had married seven husbands in my timeline, before they died under mysterious circumstances,” continued Harry. “Call me insane, but I have a hunch about why Blaise was a boy in the other timeline.”
“Yes, because I’m baffled,” said Sirius.
“Her mother, paranoid that she would be usurped by someone younger than her, used a gender change ritual to turn her daughter into her son,” suggested Harry. “A book she stole from the library of Nicholas Flamel.”
Sirius nodded, it made sense, albeit in a rather insane matter.
“Furthermore, Blaise wasn’t at school today, our teacher mentioned she switched schools,” added Harry. “She was there yesterday, so Adrianna must have felt she could have pulled of the gender change ritual today but something tells me that she hasn’t gotten around to doing so yet.”
“Which means Harry?” asked Sirius.
“I’m going to do what I do best, alter the timeline even more. The fact remains, I’m not going to let someone who is kind of, sort of, my friend have their gender switched,” answered Harry as he rose up to his feet to collect as much backup as possible, before leaving. Sirius followed close behind him.
Blaise found herself chained against the wall of the basement of her house as her mother stood over her with a smirk on her face.
“Mother, why are you doing this?” cried Blaise. “You tried to attack me in my bed today and…”
“Shut up, Blaise,” ordered Adrianna. “I wished to have put you under when you were asleep but you just had to be awake when I had entered your room. That little fight you tried to put up was inspired, holding me off for half of the day and calling your father, well it’s not like he can stop me.”
Adrianna paced back and forth, before she checked the potion that was brewing.
“Another few minutes and it will be ready,” muttered Adrianna to herself. “Blaise, your father managed to muck up everything when you were born a girl but now I’ll make everything right.”
“What are you going to do to me?” asked Blaise. “Let me go, please, don’t hurt me?”
“The innocent little girl act may work on your father, but it won’t work on me,” answered Adrianna coldly. “It’s quite sickening too, but you won’t be a threat to my plans anymore. I know for a fact you’re grow up to be quite beautiful, but I obviously can’t have that as there are many other fortunes that I must get my hands on. STUPEFY!”
Blaise was struck, unable to move and knocked unconscious as Adrianna heard an attempt for her husband and his mobster friends to get in.
“Edward, it’s useless!” called Adrianna. “Soon you’ll have a brand new son!”
Outside, Boss Zabini and the mobsters couldn’t even manage to scratch the front door with their best efforts.
“Its official, my wife’s gone bat shit insane,” said Boss Zabini “See if you can find another way in.”
“Boss, maybe you should call the police,” suggested one of the mobsters.
“With all the illegal contraband in that house!” snapped Zabini. “Now go around.”
A limo sped up the street at the speed of light and Zabini stopped, as the limo doors burst open, to reveal at least a dozen machine gun toting mobsters dressed in brand new suits.
“Barone!” growled Zabini as he waved his mobsters over. “Aim to kill them, we need to get my daughter out of the basement.
“Protect them with shield charms, I’m going to go in through the window, that looks like the only way inside that hasn’t been blocked,” ordered Harry from underneath the Invisibility Cloak to Remus and Sirius.
Sure enough, the shield charms went up, to block the bullets as Harry slipped through the window, underneath his Invisibility Cloak, his seven year form just managing to get through the tiny space.
Adrianna Zabini reached over to scoop some of the gender changing potion out of the cauldron to physically change Blaise into a boy, before she used the complex rituals to transform her mind and soul as well. She nearly pulled Blaise’s mouth open when a loud bang echoed through the basement that caused her to spin around and she backtracked, Barone stood there, coolly staring her down.
“Ah, my husband’s business rival, the infamous Boss Barone,” said Adrianna as she aimed her wand at Barone. “AVADA KEDAVRA!”
A jet of green light flew towards Harry who did the only sensible thing he could think of. Namely he flopped face first onto the ground and the curse sailed over him, harmlessly connecting with the wall.
“A Killing Curse, distinct lack of form, now I believe there will be no gender switching today,” said Barone calmly as he pointed his wand at Adrianna.
“There will be, both my daughter and you, because I’m going to slice your balls off for interfering, Barone!” cried Adrianna in a manic voice. “Nullus Testis!”
“Protego!” countered Barone, as the black light sliced through the air but it was absorbed in the shield.
The shield faded and Harry felt a bit from blocking a powerful curse, becoming light headed and a second later, a very sharp arrow pierced his right arm.
“The infamous Barone, without your little parlor tricks your nothing!” replied Adrianna with disdain as she watched Barone fall to the ground, blood dripping from his right arm as he pulled the arrow. She used her wand to fling him across the room, right towards the stone walls at a high velocity. “Now, back to making creating my new son.”
Harry pulled himself up; he saw his hair turning black and one of his haunting blue eyes turning green in a mirror off to the side. He had to end this as he had already burned out a lot of power blocking his opponent’s curse and cushioning the wall to avoid having his skull cracked open like an eggshell.
Gingerly, Harry pulled himself up and stepped in between mother and daughter just as she prepared to administer the gender switching potion, dropping his handgun to the ground in the process.
“EVANESO!” shouted Harry and the potion inside the vial vanished.
“Fool, I’ve made enough for several doses just in case the unforeseen happens,” said Adrianna with a smug look.
“Yes, I know,” replied Harry as he pointed a handgun at the cauldron behind Adrianna and pulled the trigger.
In an instant, a bullet pierced the cauldron and Adrianna watched as the potion drained from the cauldron.
“NO!” yelled Adrianna as she turned around and attempted to salvage enough of the potion to use on Blaise but to her absolute horror, there wasn’t enough left to make a full switch and thus three months of careful brewing was down the drain. She turned to Barone, fully prepared to butcher him alive and in an instant, she was lifted into the air and propelled across the room.
Harry looked at Blaise’s restraints and attempted to use any spell to cut her free, but much to his frustration, nothing worked.
In an instant, Harry recoiled in pain and dropped to the ground, his left foot causing an great deal of pain. He turned around as Adrianna Zabini stood in front of him, seething in absolute anger. Harry attempted to pull himself up but he came to the unfortunate realization Adrianna Zabini had shot him in the foot with the handgun he had dropped earlier.
“Barone, you ruined everything, so I’m going to kill you!” yelled Adrianna as she pointed the handgun right at Barone’s chest. “Any last words before I finish you off.”
“Just two,” breathed Barone in a pained voice, as he managed to aim his wand. “Accio bookcase!”
The bookcase behind Adrianna zoomed right towards Harry at a high velocity and smacked into Adrianna. Harry jerked his wand forward as be rolled away and the book case fell on top of Adrianna, having trapped her underneath.
Harry pulled himself up, before using his wand to remove the bullet from his heel before he spent a couple of minutes healing himself of his wounds.
The door of the basement burst open and Edward Zabini moved downstairs. Harry quickly summoned every bit of strength to change into Barone.
“Is she dead?” asked Zabini, as he looked at Adrianna.
“No, just badly injured,” remarked Harry as he shot a silvery object from his wand out the window before he caused a jet of blue light to engulf Adrianna. “I’ve told my people to summon the Ministry in a few minutes and this charm should give her a compulsion to tell the absolute truth for the next day or so. There will be no way she can avoid a one way ticket to Azkaban.”
“I should have you fit for cement shoes, Barone, for what you did to me since you arrived on the scene,” responded Boss Zabini. “Still, you saved my daughter and knocked my wife out, so that put me in a good mood so I’ll let you live just for today.”
“A very temporary temporary cease fire, I see,” retorted Harry. “But remember, Zabini, tomorrow’s another business day.”
“Glad to see you speak my language Barone,” concluded Zabini as the two mob bosses stared each other down for a minute, before they parted ways, ready to resume business as usual the next day.
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