Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice Wasn't Made For Only Girls

Chapter Three

by DoNotBeAFreak 3 reviews

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way - Published: 2008-01-20 - Updated: 2008-01-21 - 1029 words

"I'm telling you Frankie, these pants feel way to loose," Gerard whined as he tugged the slacks that he was trying on so that they would fit snuggly against his crotch. "Now that's better."

"Sweetie that's the way that they're supposed to fit. It's looser so it won't crowd your balls."

"But..." Gerard looked at his reflection in the dressing room mirror and unclenched the fist that pulled at the slightly stiff fabric around his thighs. It was a pretty simple three piece suit, black slacks that brushed neatly tied laces of impossibly shiny dress shoes, a starched white button down shirt, black jacket, and a blood red tie knotted around his neck by Frank’s expert fingers. "I look like I'm going to a funeral."

Frank nodded as he brushed a piece of lint off Gerard’s shoulder and bent down to make sure that the slacks didn't need to be cuffed. "You look passable though."

"Just passable?! I was hoping that maybe I would look a bit better than just passable. Now go ahead and say it. I'm sexy aren't I?"

Frank straightened to his full stance and smirked as Gerard posed with his weight his left foot and right hand resting against his hip. In all honesty Frank kind of liked him dressed like that. It was a nice and surprising change from his usually sexy emo/goth chick look, though Frank was sure that once they got home Gerard would put his garter belt and fish nets on and it would excite Frank just as much as the current 'funeral garb.'

Satisfied with Franks nod Gerard turned so that he could examine what his ass looked like in the full length mirror. "I still think that the crotch is too loose. Maybe I'll wear some panties underneath, it'll still look wrong but at least I could be comfortable." Gerard tugged at the slacks one more time. "I mean really. Everything from the waist down is just so...baggy."

"Stop complaining. You're only going to wear it once, then maybe at Mikey’s wedding."

Gerard grumbled irritably as he changed back into the clothes that he'd worn to the store. The only reason that he was doing this was because he loved his brother and would do anything to make sure that he is happy and not marrying into some group of psychos that would kill him and boil his head so that they could use his skull for witchcraft. 'Practically a catholic minister,' yeah right, that could just be a cover so that the cops wouldn't catch on to their ritualistic sacrifices.

"Are you going to wear that boring brown suit that you wore to Bob and Ray’s commitment ceremony?"

"I was planning on it, yeah."

Gerard slid his legs into his girl jeans and scowled. "You won't be matching me then."

"Alicia’s parents would suspect something if we were matching."

"You're right I guess." Gerard pulled his Edward Scissorhands shirt on and checked his hair in the mirror. Once satisfied that he looked like a gay emo that shopped in the women’s section of Hot Topic he gave Frank a kiss and smiled "Come on let's go to the food court, I'm pms-ing and am in need of some chocolate."

"But...You don't...Ah forget it."


Mikey had unsuccessfully tried to get Frank to show Gerard how to be a ‘real man,’ but he already had enough drama whilst finding suitable ‘man clothes’ for his ‘pms-ing’ boyfriend. Therefore, the daunting task of preparing Gerard for Sunday dinner with the future in-laws rested squarely on Mikey’s narrow shoulders. At first he thought it would be easy, for he still remembered a time when Gerard still acted like a boy and ate dirt with the rest of his peers in the school playground, but that was a long ago. Since then Gerard had changed very drastically to the point where turning back to masculine ways was easier said than done. Mikey soon realized the struggle that teaching Gerard really was when he let Gerard into his house and watched him perch upon the living room couch with his legs crossed and both hands resting atop one knee.

“First lesson, don’t sit like that.”

“Sit like what?”

“Real men don’t cross their legs like that.”

“Well how the fuck do you want me to sit?”

Mikey heaved a heavy sigh as he flopped down into his armchair and rested his feet on the coffee table. “Slouch, and whatever you do don’t cross your legs. If you feel the need to do so your ankle goes on your knee.”

Gerard fallowed Mikey’s instructions, the fact that he was wearing his favorite red sundress making the sight more obscene than what his poor little brother was probably able to handle. “Alright what else?”

Mikey was desperately tried to divert his eyes and think of something else to teach Gerard that in turn wouldn’t force him into seeing just how tight his brother’s panties were. “Get up,” Mikey squeaked.

“But I just sat down.”

“Get up,” Mikey repeated, this time with more of a demanding edge to his voice. A relieved sigh tumbled from his lips as Gerard complied. “We’re going to work on walking now and for that you’re going to have to take off those heels.”

Gerard looked down at the stilettos adorning his feet with a sad look on his face before toeing them off, using the arm of the couch to steady himself as he did so. Mikey then spent an hour trying to get Gerard to walk circles around the living room without shaking his ass too much or keeping his back too straight. By the time Frank came by to take him home Gerard had made some progress. Mikey guessed that the fact that he wore heels every day, and had therefore became so used to walking in them to the point were not wearing them made his movements awkward, helped a little. But there was still so much to do and they only had three days to do it.
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