FicWad

When Pete woke up the next morning, Lara was gone. A piece of paper was taped to his chest. He pulled it off and quickly read it.
‘Pete,
I’m sorry. I’m just gonna leave both you & Andy alone. Good luck with everything. Don’t hate Andy because of me.
Love,
Lara.’
“Whatever.” He said aloud. Chicks aren’t worth it. He walked into the kitchen. Patrick was eating some cold pizza and Doc was sipping tea with her long legs up on the table. Pete had gotten over the fact that she was amazingly hot a while ago. Namely when he walked in on her and Patrick dry humping. Twister my ass. Pete was obviously not her type. He grabbed a random container from the fridge and sat down at the table.
“What’s wrong with you, Wentz? Run out of eyeliner?” Doc smiled. She was in a good mood for being hung over.
“Chicks.” He grumbled.
“Oh, you mean Lara?” She rolled her eyes.
How the hell did she know? Doc must have read his face. “I saw her before she left this morning. She was kinda dreggy, said something about ‘Guys’”
Pete grumbled to himself and started to pout.
There was a thundering down the stairs. Andy rushed into the room, dripping wet and in a towel. “Okay, which one of you tried to steal my soap? I know it was one of you.” Andy looked directly at Pete.
“It wasn’t me, I just woke up.” He retorted defensively.
“Yeah. Whatever. You’re mad at me because of last night so you try to steal my organic soap. Cool man.” He clenched his towel in a fist. Andy was never this angry unless it was over government conspiracies or animal cruelty.
“Shut up! What am I, 12?” Pete sneered.
“You’re as developed as one. Just admit it!” Andy yelled.
“No!” Pete shouted back.
“Would you two tossers shut up!” Doc yelled at the top of her lungs. Her head felt like a construction site. “Look, Peter’s been down here asleep. Who cares about some damned organic soap, Andy? And Peter, you act like a bloody emo Peter Pan. So shut the fuck up!”
Everyone was speechless. BAM!
Doc stood up with her tea and left the room. Andy sat down deep in thought, ‘Who tried to steal my soap then? I know I heard the door and saw a hand grab at it.’
Patrick spoke suddenly, “Some hats of mine have gone missing.” He looked to Pete, not accusingly.
“My boxers. 4 pairs.” He turned to Andy.
“Some glasses. Shirts. Food.” The same thought ran through their minds.
‘What. The. Fuck.’
“I’m gonna put some clothes on.” Andy said getting up.
“Sidekick.” Pete jumped up and ran up stairs.
Patrick jogged over to the computer. He found eBay and typed ‘Fall Out Boy’ He closed his eyes and hit enter. When he opened his eyes, his stomach dropped out his bumoley. There were his favorite hats, Pete’s Peter Pan boxers, and Andy’s PeTA shirts. “What the hell?”
He jumped up and spun around in a circle. Before he could calm down, there was a scream.
Doc.
He nearly collided with Pete and Andy his closed bedroom door. Another scream. Patrick struggled to open the door. Doc was backed against the wall. She was pointing at the bathroom.
“There’s someone in there! Why the fuck is there someone in there?” Patrick glanced at the door and hugged Doc protectively.
Pete and Andy inched toward the door, anger forgotten. “Whoever you are…um you suck!” Andy yelled. Yeah, good one.
Pete glared at him. He inched a bit closer and kicked the door wide open, yelling out savagely.
Ooer, Tarzan is gonna get you!
The bathroom was empty.
Pete grabbed Andy’s arm and pulled him in. The air was hot and moist from a recent shower. Andy glanced out the door at Doc. She was still in her sleep clothes, hair dry and messy. Oh God. Some freak showered in the house. Well wait. Freaks always showered in the house. Some stranger freak showered in the house. Andy reached his hand toward the half open shower curtain as Pete reached for the closet door.
“1...” he mouthed silently.
“2...”Pete mouthed in return.
“3!” Andy ripped open the curtain and there was a shriek. The shower was empty-
“Ahh!” Pete shouted and jumped back. A half naked girl was in the closet.
“Who the fuck are you?” Doc said in disgust and surprise.
Patrick was still holding her close. The girl was silent.
“What are you doing in my bathroom!” Doc shouted
“Um, taking a shower?”
Pete took the nearest towel and threw it to her. She nervously put it on. Now what?
“Who are you?” Andy finally said.
“Mary.”
“Why are you in our house?” Patrick strode into the bathroom.
“Umm.”
“C’mon. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Spit it out.”
“I snuck in to get some Fall Out Boy merch to sell on eBay and to keep for myself.” She said nervously fast.
The guys looked at each other. Oh. Dear. God.
“Okay…well.” Andy said awkwardly.
“Get dressed. Don’t leave. Chill. We’ll figure out what to do. And don’t worry, we won’t call the police.” Pete added. She scurried out of the room and past Doc, who was glaring at her. The guys were whispering to each other.
“What the hell? That’s really dodgy and creepy.” She said wrapping Patrick’s arm around her. ”What are you planning to do with the little saddo?”
“Give her some signed merch.” Pete said all casual and cool. He and Andy walked out of the room into the hall.
Doc’s mouth dropped open. “You’re kidding, yeah?” She looked up to Patrick disbelievingly.
“No. She’s a fan. A creepy one, but still a fan.” He strolled from the room, pulling Doc with him. Mary was sitting on the steps, fully dressed, with Pete and Andy on either side of her. “So that’s it. I just have to return your stuff?” Mary said, amazed. Huh. She’s not the only one.
Andy said “And never set foot in this house-”
Pete continued “Or on the property-”
“Without invitation-”
“Ever again.” Patrick finished.
“Cool.” Mary jumped up. Her wet hair slapped against Pete’s face a little. “Can I give you hugs?”
Doc rolled her eyes as Ms. Creepy Stalker Chick hugged them. She kissed Patrick’s cheek.
“You’re my favorite.” She kissed his cheek again.
“Hey! You! That’s my boyfriend! Only I get to snog his cheek.” Doc glided forward angrily. Patrick held her in his arms and kissed her as Pete and Andy led Mary away for her signed merch.
“Don’t worry, Doc. I would pick you over any stalker.” Patrick laughed.
Hahaha-not. Doc hit him in the gut. “Shut up, PMS.” She was not taking the Mickey.
“Awh. Kelly, C’mon. Hey!” He covered his head as Doc went to slap him. “Joke! Chill, Doc!”
“Patrick Martin Stump! You piss me off, you wanker!” she stomped into the kitchen
Patrick rolled his eyes, amused and followed. ”I’m sorry. I am. Please, forgive me? Pwease?”
“Well of course you stupid ass.” Doc said angrily and pulled him into a kiss. Patrick smiled into the kiss and lifted her onto the counter. As they made out, his hand snuck gently up her shirt.
“Well! I see we interrupted some morning love making!” an unfamiliar voice startled them. A dark haired woman in fishnets, jean shorts and a cut up band shirt stoop in the doorway. Her outfit sucked. There was an Asian guy holding an expensive camera. He looked uncomfortable and apologetic. “Eric, Picture. Fast.”
He, Eric, shook his head and snapped a picture. Doc blinked at the light and hopped off the counter, fixing her clothes. “Patrick?”
The woman stepped forward in her combat boots. “Janice Grossman. OK! Magazine.”
Patrick’s mind went blank. “Hi. Just a second. Make yourselves at home.” He took Doc’s hand and led her from the kitchen.
“Picture.” Sigh. Bright flash.
Pete was walking down the stairs with Mary, laughing at something. “Hey could I take another shower? Doc walked in on my shampooing.”
“Yeah, sure.” Mary smiled and walked into Pat and Doc’s bedroom. Patrick was at the base of the stairs with Doc.
“Pete!” Why was he stressed?
“What?”
“We have an interviewer from OK! Magazine-”
“A tart more like.” Doc mumbled.
“Here. She took a picture of Doc and me messing-”
“Doing stuff” Doc interjected again, pinching Pat’s arm.
Pete grinned. Dirty, dirty. ”Doing what?” Nudge, nudge.
“Shut up, you tosser.” She slapped his arm. Hard.
Pete laughed and rubbed his arm, “See, the thing is calling me a ‘tosser’ doesn’t do anything because I don’t speak Doc.”
Doc lifted her hand “Want me to show you then?” She swung at him but Patrick pulled her into him, face to chest.
“Hahaha! You can’t get me!” Pete taunted. ”Ow!” Patrick punched his arm.
“Damage control. Now.”
“Oh. Fine.” Pete stuck his tongue out and checked his hair in the hair mirror.
“How did they even get in?” Patrick asked.
Doc pushed away and ran her fingers through her messy hair. “I dunno but you really need a security system. That or a guard dog. If we aren’t careful someone crazy could come in. Oh-too late.”
Still bitter over Mary’s moment with Patrick?

Pete walked into the kitchen and stopped shocked at the interviewer’s outfit. It looked like she might have gone insane when picking out what to wear. She was searching through drawers so Pete cleared his throat. She jumped and turned around. She quickly smiled and stepped forward, hand out. “Hello. I’m Janice Grossman from-”
“OK! Magazine, yes. I’ve heard I just wanted to start by saying that it’s a pleasure to meet you. But how exactly did you get in here?” Pete started.
“That’s not very important right now. Aren’t you at all worried about the fact that Patrick is hooking up with random groupies on your kitchen counter?”
‘That sounded so awkward. And weird…I feel violated.’ Pete thought quietly. “Well for starters it’s our house and Doc isn’t a random groupie. Second they were pretty much just kissing and no I don’t mind.”
Janice smirked a little and wrote down some notes on her like flippy notebook. ”This Doc character how long have she and Patrick been together?”
“You know, not really my place to say. Could we move on to the music part of this interview?”
Janice made another note. Pete rolled his eyes.
‘Can’t wait to see next week’s issue.’
:]]
read the next chapter.
it's the bestest.