Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors
Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors
4 reviewsWhen Frank is diagnosed with cancer, Gerard must learn to be strong, for both of them and for the sake of their relationship. Freard. If you want boysex, boysex and more boysex, this probably i...
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Why is it, that you always imagine the bad things happening to someone else? It makes it hit so much harder when, eventually, it happens to you. When it's your turn to cry yourself to sleep, because this new treatment didn't work, or because your boyfriends roommate died and it hits you that it won't be long before it happens to him. I learnt pretty fast that never mind how hard you sob, or pray and beg to some fucking non-existent God, no miracle will come and save you. Not ever. People ask you how you cope, and the truth is, you don't. And if you do, it's because you don't have a choice.
You'll ask yourself at first, why someone as perfect as him is having to suffer like that, when there are so many murders, rapists and god knows what else walking free and completely healthy. Karma's a bitch. And hey, what makes a better sob story then a kind, happy, in love 26 year old being ravaged by cancer? Kinda romantic, if you think about it, in a sick and twisted way.
What are those four stages the doctors tell you on your first meeting with them? Denial, fear, anger and acceptance? It's less acceptance, more a numbness. Eventually, sitting in the hospital for 18 hours a day, holding your boyfriends hair back while he pukes blood into a bucket, the constant stream of needles, blood transfusions, chemo and tears...It all becomes pretty routine. Every day blurs into one...Until the next panic, the next time your boyfriend has a high fever and is rushed into intensive care, or has an allergic reaction to the hundreds of toxic chemicals flowing through his bloodstream. Then it hits you like the day of diagnosis, and you start the cycle all over again...Denial, fear, anger.
I can remember that day like yesterday, that day where they uttered the words "cancer". And the words "advanced" and "terminal" fit into the equation, somehow, too.
Sometime after the numbness, you go into the false hope stage. The one where you think some new promising treatment might actually help, even when the love of your life is sobbing, telling you to just please, let him rest. He's had enough. He'll go along with you eventually, because, he says, "I love you." That's what keeps you going through the long days. The thought that once this nightmare is over, there might be some sort of relationship left for the both of you. And that's what you fight for.
You'll ask yourself at first, why someone as perfect as him is having to suffer like that, when there are so many murders, rapists and god knows what else walking free and completely healthy. Karma's a bitch. And hey, what makes a better sob story then a kind, happy, in love 26 year old being ravaged by cancer? Kinda romantic, if you think about it, in a sick and twisted way.
What are those four stages the doctors tell you on your first meeting with them? Denial, fear, anger and acceptance? It's less acceptance, more a numbness. Eventually, sitting in the hospital for 18 hours a day, holding your boyfriends hair back while he pukes blood into a bucket, the constant stream of needles, blood transfusions, chemo and tears...It all becomes pretty routine. Every day blurs into one...Until the next panic, the next time your boyfriend has a high fever and is rushed into intensive care, or has an allergic reaction to the hundreds of toxic chemicals flowing through his bloodstream. Then it hits you like the day of diagnosis, and you start the cycle all over again...Denial, fear, anger.
I can remember that day like yesterday, that day where they uttered the words "cancer". And the words "advanced" and "terminal" fit into the equation, somehow, too.
Sometime after the numbness, you go into the false hope stage. The one where you think some new promising treatment might actually help, even when the love of your life is sobbing, telling you to just please, let him rest. He's had enough. He'll go along with you eventually, because, he says, "I love you." That's what keeps you going through the long days. The thought that once this nightmare is over, there might be some sort of relationship left for the both of you. And that's what you fight for.
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