Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Give 'Em Hell Kid
9 / So Let's See What You Got, And Let's See What You're Not, And Whatever Else You Pretend
1 reviewHe clenched his fist and hit the wall, crumbling bits of it. He looked terrible.
0Unrated
Title from “My World” – Sick Puppies
Gerard left Ryan back to Justin’s care and returned to the room. He could hardly see.
“You. Leave. Now,” he told Alexis. She stood and lingered at the door for a moment. “GO!” Gerard roared, struggling to breathe.
Mikey ushered her out the door, closing it behind the both of them.
Gerard sat on the chair next to the light and retrieved what he had taken from the cellar from his coat. Seven thawing bags of frozen blood thudded to the floor at his feet. It was old blood, but it didn’t make a difference to him.
He fumbled with the cap of one and squeezed it into his mouth. It was already liquid enough. “Fuck…,” he mumbled, licking his lips.
Frank was sleeping, but Gerard wasn’t hiding it from him. He had been like this for the whole time since he’d been caught in his own nightmare. He really was suffering the effects of multiple bloodless months. He was just that much more requiring of the stuff.
He gasped wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, stomach lurching. He couldn’t cope with anything. He had no hopes that could actually be tried for, but he was willing to do whatever he could to keep Frank with him. As with him as he could, anyways. He wasn’t quite himself anymore, and he never would be. It made his head hurt, but he just couldn’t stop thinking about it.
“You need help?”
Frank was staring at him sympathetically, woken by the noise and using it to pinpoint Gerard’s location in. His white eyes searched for something to lock onto. Gerard leaned against the desk, shaking his head. There was blood dripping down his mouth and his eyes were burning, pupils turned to slits and tears dripping down his face. He clenched his fist and hit the wall, crumbling bits of it. He looked terrible.
“You do,” Frank said.
Gerard shook his head again, trembling as he pushed his face against the concrete, hiding from Frank. He hated himself for doing this. He wasn’t the same he’d been when he met Frank, and he wished he could go back and try it over again. That maybe he could have left Frank on his own. He would have made it, Gerard would’ve made sure of it afterward, but he just fucking couldn’t leave him there. Gerard’s heart was the problem. He was too compassionate, even when he was angry or not completely sane, he couldn’t just do something wrong with no proper reasoning. He wouldn’t even kill Aiden right out if he got the chance. He was a huge fucking coward.
“Gerard, look at me,” Frank said, turning Gerard’s face in his hands. “Gerard, look. I can feel it too. I’m just like you and I know what you do now. You’re exactly the same as me and you never could have done something to avoid it.”
Gerard looked into Frank’s blind eyes and saw agony. Frank was dying inside, just as he had been since he was born. No, not since he was turned. Since he was born. Everyone was born dying, and Gerard never thought he would be able to help that.
And then he could. But it wasn’t really what he thought it had been. No one could save anyone from death. Death happened to everyone at some point, and no one could do anything to stop it. He had been wrong about everything since the beginning, and now Frank could make him see it completely, everything he had ever done wrong, magnified in Frank’s view of it all.
Gerard knew he didn’t blame him, and Frank was the only one he could ever really come back to. No matter what happened, or who died, Frank would be the one who made him realize it. That he was not really the cause of anything, and not even Adam could change anything to the way they wanted. Fate, maybe. It wasn’t anything stronger than that. Vampires weren’t really stronger than anyone, and the evil weren’t really evil anymore. It was just people and the effects of their inevitable actions. Someone somewhere would do something no matter what.
Gerard left Ryan back to Justin’s care and returned to the room. He could hardly see.
“You. Leave. Now,” he told Alexis. She stood and lingered at the door for a moment. “GO!” Gerard roared, struggling to breathe.
Mikey ushered her out the door, closing it behind the both of them.
Gerard sat on the chair next to the light and retrieved what he had taken from the cellar from his coat. Seven thawing bags of frozen blood thudded to the floor at his feet. It was old blood, but it didn’t make a difference to him.
He fumbled with the cap of one and squeezed it into his mouth. It was already liquid enough. “Fuck…,” he mumbled, licking his lips.
Frank was sleeping, but Gerard wasn’t hiding it from him. He had been like this for the whole time since he’d been caught in his own nightmare. He really was suffering the effects of multiple bloodless months. He was just that much more requiring of the stuff.
He gasped wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, stomach lurching. He couldn’t cope with anything. He had no hopes that could actually be tried for, but he was willing to do whatever he could to keep Frank with him. As with him as he could, anyways. He wasn’t quite himself anymore, and he never would be. It made his head hurt, but he just couldn’t stop thinking about it.
“You need help?”
Frank was staring at him sympathetically, woken by the noise and using it to pinpoint Gerard’s location in. His white eyes searched for something to lock onto. Gerard leaned against the desk, shaking his head. There was blood dripping down his mouth and his eyes were burning, pupils turned to slits and tears dripping down his face. He clenched his fist and hit the wall, crumbling bits of it. He looked terrible.
“You do,” Frank said.
Gerard shook his head again, trembling as he pushed his face against the concrete, hiding from Frank. He hated himself for doing this. He wasn’t the same he’d been when he met Frank, and he wished he could go back and try it over again. That maybe he could have left Frank on his own. He would have made it, Gerard would’ve made sure of it afterward, but he just fucking couldn’t leave him there. Gerard’s heart was the problem. He was too compassionate, even when he was angry or not completely sane, he couldn’t just do something wrong with no proper reasoning. He wouldn’t even kill Aiden right out if he got the chance. He was a huge fucking coward.
“Gerard, look at me,” Frank said, turning Gerard’s face in his hands. “Gerard, look. I can feel it too. I’m just like you and I know what you do now. You’re exactly the same as me and you never could have done something to avoid it.”
Gerard looked into Frank’s blind eyes and saw agony. Frank was dying inside, just as he had been since he was born. No, not since he was turned. Since he was born. Everyone was born dying, and Gerard never thought he would be able to help that.
And then he could. But it wasn’t really what he thought it had been. No one could save anyone from death. Death happened to everyone at some point, and no one could do anything to stop it. He had been wrong about everything since the beginning, and now Frank could make him see it completely, everything he had ever done wrong, magnified in Frank’s view of it all.
Gerard knew he didn’t blame him, and Frank was the only one he could ever really come back to. No matter what happened, or who died, Frank would be the one who made him realize it. That he was not really the cause of anything, and not even Adam could change anything to the way they wanted. Fate, maybe. It wasn’t anything stronger than that. Vampires weren’t really stronger than anyone, and the evil weren’t really evil anymore. It was just people and the effects of their inevitable actions. Someone somewhere would do something no matter what.
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