FicWad

"And I've been waiting for so long
To hold you in my arms
Embrace forever my sweet girl!

Water fills these open eyes
(Tonight we fly)
Still frames and valentines
Won't keep me in her mind
(Dear black goodbye, Dear black goodbye)"

The Song 'Blue Burns Orange'
As sung by Hawthorne Heights


"Ray, I can't thank you enough for doing what you did the other day..." he sighed and gripped his steering wheel tighter. "I've had my life saved once, but..."
Ray just shook his head. "Don't even sweat it, Gerard. I owed you for all those years you covered my ass and took the heat for stuff. And besides," he said. "You need to
stay focused on Avenue's operation tomorrow."
They were driving to the airport to take a plane to Rochester, Minnesota, where Avenue
would begin her operation at 1:00 p.m. Gerard wouldn't be able to see her for a few hours after that. She would be resting in the nuerological center under the care of Wakefeild Ward, top surgeon in the U.S., voted by UDMP magazine. He had completed 3 sucsessful surgeries, the same surgery Avenue was receiving. One a young Japanese crippled girl, one
who had lost her legs in an amputation and then a man from the Ukrain who was born with deformed legs.
But somewhere in his large, soft heart, Gerard felt a stab of pain, like a pencil being jabbed
through it and twirled around. And that hurt.
"Gerard, are you okay?" Frankie asked from the back seat. He saw Gerard's face twist in pain in the rearveiw mirror.
"I'm fine," he said, even though he was not. He was definatly not okay.
Mikey glanced at the time on his cell phone. 4:21 p.m. He looked up and saw a sign advertising the Newark Airport. He sighed in releif. Almost there, then off toward
Rochester. He just wanted to see Avenue well again. It tore him up on the inside to see his brother broken. Gerard was a good man. A good man indeed. Millions of women
would die just to meet Gerard, let alone marry him. Mikey turned his head toward the window and let the sunshine fall on his face. Soon, life would be perfect again. Soon.




"This is the longest plane ride of my life!" Mikey moaned. He was seated between Gerard and Bob. Gerard sat in the isle seat. Something about seeing the little cornfeilds the sizeof picture frames threw him off a little bit.
"You have no idea," Bob moaned back. He had been falling in and out of sleep. He would be soundly sleeping all the way there had Mikey not been elbowing him in the splein evey 30 minutes.
Gerard, on the other hand, was enable to sleep no matter how hard he tried. He kept seeing her face, her beautiful face, covered in blood and lying on the stage floor, blood cascading out of her body in violent rasps. He turned away then, trying to shake the memory from his mind. He didn't want to see that image of her. Instead, he tried to picture her face from yesterday....

"I'm kind of scared," Avenue admitted. She looked up at the helicopter blades spinning rapidly above her head. She was being flown there, to Mayo Clinic, on Gerard's request. He kissed her gently on the head.
"You will be fine, sweetheart. Me and the boys will fly down there tomorrow to see you as soon as you wake up." He laid a hand against her soft face. "Good bye, love."
She blew him a kiss as her stretcher was boarded onto the helicopter. She smiled, thinking to herself, 'I am the luckiest person in the world.'
Gerard felt the same way.


But now, he felt weighed down. So many things could go wrong, so many things could happen. He felt so nervous, right down to his very core. His hands started to shake. 'Calm down,' he scoled himself, as he waited in anticipation. He sat up straight and took a deep breath. Suddenly, he felt a hand grab his shoulder.
"She'll be fine." It was Frankie's releiving voice that came from behind him.
"I just wish I was there holding her hand right now," he said with a sigh.
"I wish you could be too, Gerard. But she will be fine, I swear."
"I just wish I knew for sure. Like, I could see into the future or something."
"No one can, Gee. But just think good thoughts. Don't be negative."
"Thanks, Frank. You are a big help."
"No problem," he said, leaning back.
'If only it weren't,' Gerard thought. 'If only it weren't.'


1:00. 1:00 p.m. There the hand was, lingering on the one, mocking him, teasing him. And all he could do was think about her. How she should be in his arms, perfect and uninjured.
Untouched. Unflawed by that wikid bullet. That wikid bullet that allowed him to be thinking, moving, breathing. Waiting. The bullet had kept him waiting, waiting for so long. To just hold her. That is all he wanted to do.
Mikey stared out the window of the 8th floor, watching the traffic roll by. The only thing he had on his mind was the man sitting in one of the many lobby chairs, contemplating
his future wife's surgery. He hadn't said much since Christmas, and here it was, three days later. He knew that him and Avenue had had some trouble that night, but his brother had never said what. But Mikey could tell, oh yes he could, that the singer had given a second thought to their marriage. Mikey hoped Gerard wasn't in this because he felt bad for Avenue, just because she saved his life. It was a big deal, true, but he hoped Gerard knew where his
heart was.
"I'm hungry," Bob stated. Ray and Frankie agreed.
"Where do you guys want to go?" Ray asked.
"No where," Gerard said. "I'm not leaving."
"Well, do you want something to eat?" Frank asked.
"No."
"Mikey, do you want something?" Ray questioned.
"No thanks, man. You three go on."
"Okay, cool. Peace out guys!" Bob called, heading toward the elevator.
"Cya!" Ray waved, pulling out his phone to call a cab.
"Bye," Gerard and Mikey said to their bandmates.
Frankie just nodded his head and walked down the hallway toward the elevator.
When he was sure that the other boys were gone, Mikey took a seat next to his brother. Gerard was just staring at the clock and had been for the last fifteen minutes. He looked up there, trying to pick up his brother's thoughts, but he already knew what he was thinking. "She's on
your mind, isn't she?"
"Always," he whispered.
"Do you love her, Gee? Or do you feel bad for her?"
And for the first time in a long time, he finally tore his eyes off of the clock on the wall and looked at his younger brother with contempt written on his face. "Why would you ask something like that?"
"Gerard, I'm serious. I want you to tell me what you feel."
"Are you my fucking counsler now, Mikey? I don't need you!"
"Just tell me exactly what you feel for Avenue."
"I love..." he started and then stopped. He didn't know what to say. "I thought I loved her. Don't I? Aren't I supposed to?"
Mikey shook his head. "No, you don't have to do anything. You are already doing enough for her. You are remaking her, giving her her life back, and that's all you really needed to do. Nothing more."
Gerard looked back at his brother, a soft look forming in his eyes. "I really don't love her... I just
feel so compelled to do this... to love her. I forced myself, I think. I mean, I could love her, if I
knew her better. I could definately love her. But..." Gerard knew that what he felt for her was meer compassion and sympathy. He didn't love her with a whole heart, like he thought he did, but he did love her.
But worst of all he felt bad for telling her he did, love her with eveything he had.
"Doubts cross through everyone's mind, Gee. It's okay. I will support you through it all."
"But what do I do?"
"Tell her that you want to cancel the engament and cancel moving in together. If it isn't really what you want. She will return to college and the two of you can really go on with your lives. If you want to continue to date, you should."
"You're right, Mikes. The engagement is off. I want to tell her, but I'm worried she'll be upset."
He let out a big sigh, letting all the bad feelings out of his mind in the form of carbon dioxide.
"She'll have nothing to be upset about. You have already done so much for her."
Gerard knew that statement was more than true.



"I want a Big Mac, a large frie and a chocolate shake. Then I need a 10 peice chicken tender,
with two apples pies of your value menu then... umm... What do you want Bob?"
"A ceasar salad, a water and a small fry. Oh, and I want ranch dressing."
"Would that be all?" the lady asked. She wore a very unhappy expression on her face.
"Yeah," Ray said.
"$16.72 please."
"Thanks," Ray said, pulling out his wallet.
"A freakin salad, Bob? What the hell is that? We are at effin Mickey D's and all you order is a salad?" Frankie asked. He had a sarcastic expression very clearly written on his face.
"And a water! And a small french fry! C'mon guys, I want something to eat that is healthy. Besides, I'm still kind of full from Christmas," he joked.
Ray rolled his eyes and handed the lady a twenty. "You, my friend, are an idiot," he said laughing.
Bob smiled. "I am, I know."

By the time the boys returned from lunch, it was around 4. And by that time Gerard had already had his mind set. He would break it off with Avenue as soon as she came out of
the O.R. She was going to be estatic from being able to walk again, but Gerard would have to tell her. He didn't want to hide it from her.
"Mr. G. Way?" a thin blond nurse asked. The sound of her voice threw him off guard. He quickly stood up.
"Y-yes?" he stammered.
"Miss Monroe is out of her operation. She is ready to see you. In fact," the nurse said, a small,
shy smile on her face. "She woke up once during the operation, and she asked for you."
Gerard, when he should have smiled instead felt taken aback. He felt his blood flush from his face. He was fighting a battle inside himself. He wasn't sure how to let go...
"This is her room. Her surgery was a complete sucsess. Tomorrow morning she will have some physical therapy, to get used to the feeling of walking again, and to 'break in', pardon the term, her new left leg." She smiled and opened the door.
"Gerard!" Avenue exclaimed. She was sitting up in bed, her legs crossed, a plate of food in her lap, a music video playing on her T.V. "I was just watching the making of the Welcome to the Black Parade video on MTV. We've been apart so long, I just had to see you somewhere!" She held out her arms and he came to them less enthusiastically than he should of.
He sat down next to her on the bed. She had never looked more beautiful. Her green eyes were alive with new life. "Honey, there is something important we need to talk about. I need to tell you something..."
"Gee, no baby, me first! You have to listen to what the doctors found when they were prepping me for my surgery!"
"Avey, I think I should say mine first..."
"No, Gee! Let me say this! Please honey!"
Gerard caved in. Whatever she had to say sounded way more exciting. Gerard just hoped it wasnt...
"Gee, I'm pregnant! We're having a baby! A baby, Gerard!"





I hope you like this one, and thanks to my new reviewers! You were really insightful! And I'm trying to incorperate the other members of the band while trying to add a new lightheartedness. I try not to remain so dark!! =]
Lots of Love,
Autumn Lynn