FicWad

Rachel moaned lightly as she sat on the second bed in Hoagie’s room which at this point belonged to no one.


“I can’t believe he just up and left me like that Fan, I mean I loved him and he goes and says he’d rather spend the night in Lizzie mother fucking Gordon’s room where he’ll cheat on me most likely” Rachel said as Fanny stared at Hoagie.


“Just go and get him Fan you know you want to, and I know you want to so just do it” Hoagie said as Fanny shook her head and both Rachel and Hoagie stared surprised at her.


“If I’m going to get him then Hoagie and you are coming with me Rache, because Hoagie is taking some major steps into becoming Fanny Fulbright’s boyfriend, and I don’t trust you alone baby girl”.


Rachel slowly stood up and followed Fanny and Hoagie out of the room not sure what she was going to say to Nigel if she found him and Lizzie laying in the same bed.


“Well this is it Rache baby go get him, we’ll wait out here for moral support and if a fight has to ensue then so fucking be it” Fanny said as Rachel pounded on the door hearing Lizzie’s voice on the other end.


“Rachel hey girl what’s been up?, I heard Nigel and you were fighting but for the life of me I can’t get him to tell me much more” Lizzie said without taking a breath and coming out in a towel.


“All right one why are you wearing a towel you two faced bitch?, and two if my boyfriend looks anything like you do now we’re going to have some real problems” Rachel said her courage and pride rising.


Lizzie looked at Fanny as Hoagie shrugged his shoulders at Lizzie and Rachel pinned Lizzie against the wall her eyes burning with fire.


“I’ll ask one more time nicely Gordon, and then I’ll have to start asking mean and trust me if you think I’m mean now just test me again and you’ll see what mean Rachel really looks like”.


“You heard the woman get her man out here now or you’ll be facing her wrath, and if you face her you know damn well your facing me too and maybe him if he’s a true friend” Fanny said as Lizzie stared into her eyes again scared.


Lizzie squealed like a hurt puppy and ran back into her dorm shaking a little lump on her bed which moaned and turned over smiling.


“Hey Liz so what are you ready for more?, or would you like to talk about why I came here yet again?” Nigel asked as Rachel couldn’t believe her ears and Nigel’s clothes were thrown to him by Lizzie.


“Just get changed and stay the fuck out of my life Nigel, you told me you and Rachel were over”.
“We are I told her so after the fight that almost broke my spirit, I told here that I was going out” Nigel said as Lizzie stared angrily out him and pointed angrily into the hall.


“Do I really have to go Liz?, I mean maybe you aren’t understanding my complaints but Rachel called me everything under the sun tonight and I don’t think she wants to see me right now” Nigel said as Lizzie again pointed into the hall.


“Clothes on, cell phone taken, backpack taken I don’t want to see you in this dorm again if you can help it” Lizzie said as Nigel threw his clothes on, grabbed his backpack and cell phone, then joined Fanny, Hoagie, and Rachel in the hall.


“And for future reference he told me that he left you, I’m an innocent bystander here Rachel and I am sorry that we did anything”.


“Don’t be sorry Gordon it’s not your fault that you’re the other woman in Nigel’s life, I blame Nigel because this whole fight could have been avoided if he knew how to remember important dates like anniversaries” Rachel said as Nigel grumbled under his breath.


“Well we’re having a good date aren’t we Hoagie?, a homemade tat, bothering two of our friends fucking, saving Rachel from her sad self, and grabbing Uno form the other woman in his life’s dorm boy you know how to show a girl a good time” Fanny said smiling as Hoagie smiled back at her.


“If this is what our first date is like Fullbright I’d hate to see our second date” Hoagie said still laughing as Nigel kept glancing angrily at Rachel.


“You know Rache I can never have fun with you in my life Rachel, you like to think that we have a relationship but our lives couldn’t be more different” Nigel said as Rachel put her hand against the dorm door and blocking her from the doorway.


“Listen Nigel if you ever want to see the light of day again we’re going to get through my craziness and your pigheadedness “ Rachel said as Nigel slumped against the wall angry.


“If I was to even start on your fucking craziness Rache I’d be buried six feet under because you’d kill me dead as a doornail”.


“Well if you want to see this room again we’re going to the library, the quad, the cafeteria, or some other quiet place and we’re getting through our problems together”.


“Rachel was talking to air as she saw no Nigel and Fanny and Hoagie were kissing too much tom pay attention.


“I guess going to find Nigel is my own problem isn’t it?” Rachel asked as Fanny waved her hand at her and Rachel couldn’t help but smile at her.
“I knew you’d fall in love someday Fullbright and now your in deep just like me, maybe your relationship will be easier than mine” Rachel said stalking down the hall to find her wayward boyfriend.


“Nigel I swear to God if I ever find you your going to be a very unhappy camper, I don’t want us to end up like our parents bickering to the point of divorce”.’


Nigel was found in a phone booth as Rachel hammered on the door her patience wearing thin with him.


“Open this door Nigel Uno and come talk to me, we have a lot to work out granted but if we don’t you’ll become the one person you hated and that’s your father” Rachel said as Nigel slammed the phone down and angrily yanked open the phone booth door with tears in his eyes.


“You win all right I’m becoming him and that scares me, I mean what are our kids going to think of a father who walks out on his wife and children?” Nigel asked as Rachel grabbed his arm and he was being led to a restaurant near the quad with Rachel looking down at him with pain in her eyes.


“Nigel my parents split too but you don’t see me taking it out on the whole world now do you?, I mean like you I have to celebrate two birthdays, two Christmas’s, two Easters, two Thanksgivings and so on and so forth”.


“You didn’t see the downfall of my mother Rache, ever since he left her she’s like a mother fucking robot walking around like the living dead”.


“She’s not your problem anymore Nigel, you’re here and she’s what three hundred miles away in a house where she’s probably drinking or on Match.com looking for her soul mate” Rachel said as Nigel loosened up smelling the food.


“Let’s just eat and maybe we can make things better by talking about our problems Rache” Nigel said licking his lips as Rachel smiled holding the door opened for him.


“On a brighter note two of the agents we thought would never date again are together and probably going back for seconds in lovemaking if my calculations are correct and they always are”.


Nigel and Rachel sat at a table in the far end of the restaurant and Nigel recognized the waiter of the restaurant as Wally Beatles.


“So I take it that pleasuring Kuki isn’t enough for a big man like you huh Wally?, you also work in the college restaurant?” Nigel asked as Wally threw two menu’s in front of them.


“And I take it that you two are in marriage counseling via the campus eatery?, or are you going to start flipping out in here too” Wally asked as Kuki cleared her throat at another table to get some service.


“Excuse me waiter but can I have you with a side of you?, and after that can I get a you to take home in a little box barely clothed” Kuki asked hugging herself as Stevie walked in with victim number 2 cowering by his side.


“Excuse me cutey muffin but I have a score to settle and it comes in the form of Stevie the abuser and his next piece of meat” Kuki said as a fire burned in her eyes and Wally knew to keep his distance whenever this happened.


“Hey Stevie remember me victim number 1?, well I’d like to introduce you to my two bestest friends my left and my right”.


Stevie covered his face as Kuki’s left and right foot connected with Stevie’s ribs as he fell to the floor and the girl he was with looked on amazed at what Kuki did.


“The names Kuki Sanaban and I presume your victim number two, you fell for his bullshit and now your knee deep in it” Kuki said as the girl nodded looking down at her soon to be ex boyfriend.



Stevie angrily stood up and pinned Kuki’s arms to the wall and pulled a gun out of his pocket and pointed it at her head smiling at her.


“Tell me bitch what’s stopping me from plastering your body parts all over this fucking place?” Stevie asked as his finger went on the trigger and Kuki started shaking.


“I love the smell of fear in the morning now what do you say we see just how curved a Jap’s vagina is shall we?”


Stevie pointed to Kuki’s skirt as she slowly bent over about to take it off as Wally ran at him and tackled him to the ground as the gun flailed and fell at Kuki’s feet.


“Looks like I have you right where I want you huh?, you mother fucking bastard with nothing but a cunt between your legs” Kuki said pointing the gun at Stevie’s head as Wally laid on top of him smiling down at him.


“And a great tackle by Wallabee Beatles at the ten yard line and the crowd is out of their seats at this point ladies and gentlemen” Wally said in a sports announcers voice as Kuki giggled at him.


“Now why don’t I introduce myself to you once more shall I?, I’m Wallabee Beatles Kuki’s new boy toy, your Stevie Masterson her old boy toy and used her as a punching bag, Stevie meet Wally”.


“Have you met any of her other friends yet, a vast majority of her friends are guys who think that they can get a piece of her” Stevie said weakly as Wally crushed his chest.

“I don’t care if a vast majority of her friends were Rainbow Monkeys, and to let you in on a little secret they once were her only friends before I found her” Wally said as Stevie smiled up at Kuki who still had the gun clutched in her hand.


“I’m wondering how the girl became so brave in her life?, I mean I could never point a gun at Stevie even if I have thought about it” Victim number two said as Kuki got ammo from Stevie’s jacket pocket and handed it to the girl.


“I say you torture him in the same way he tortured you, hurt him in as many ways as you can think of, and then hurt him some more after that if you feel like it” Kuki said as the girl fired and a shot went off into Stevie’s kneecap.


“How does it feel to be hurt huh?, never being able to look at yourself in the mirror because you think your ugly” The girl said firing another shot into Stevie’s other kneecap.


A police cruiser pulled into the restaurant as a waitress ran over to the girl and Kuki with a scared look on his face and Stevie smiled weakly.


“I hope you can explain this to the police you two attempted murderers, I don’t think they’ll understand when you tell them that I made your life miserable” Stevie said as the cop ran in and was confronted by Nigel.


“Hello again Pete how’s the family these days?, are your kids doing well?” Nigel asked as the officer smiled at him.


“Well, well, well if it isn’t Nigel Uno, I haven’t seen you since you got caught for shoplifting and you vowed to never break the law again?” The officer said shaking Nigel’s hand.


“I saw everything and this boy laying on the ground hit the girl with the gun in her hand, which also happens to be his gun which he was going to use on my friend”.


Rachel couldn’t believe her ears when she heard Nigel telling a lie to stick up for his friends as the cop slowly walked up to Victim number two and placed his gun on the floor.


“All right sweetie now lower the gun slowly and nobody else has to get hurt, I’m not taking you in because Nigel Uno no matter how bad he is has never lied to me” The officer said as the girl lowered the gun slowly with tears in her eyes as Kuki hugged her.


“You have the right to remain silent, everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law, you have the right to an attorney, if you can’t afford an attorney one will be provided for you on the day of questioning, do you understand these rights?”


After the cop swore Stevie in he slowly stood up as an ambulance was waiting outside to fix him and another cruiser was waiting to bring him to jail.


“You bitches are going to wish you never messed with me, you have no fucking idea what I can do to you behind bars” Stevie said as he was shoved outside much to his complaints.


“That was really cool the way you stuck up for them like that Nigey” Rachel said using the nickname she used when she either wanted sex or was proud of him, and this time it was both .


“Well you know I know how to be a friend when it’s necessary to be one, now why don’t we talk about where our relationship went wrong?” Nigel asked as Kuki ran up and hugged him.


“That was really awesome of you Nigel and I’m becoming friends with victim number two, her names Aphrodite and she enjoys moonlit walks on the beach, puppies, kittens, and her turn offs are boys who act macho, boy’s who are too full of themselves, and anything to do with Napoleon Dynamite” Kuki said.


“Well Kuki you know we’ve been friends since first grade and I wasn’t going to let them take you over something that Stevie deserved” Nigel said as Aphrodite walked up a pained look still in her eyes.


“I want to thank you for saving me Mr. Uno, I don’t know what I would have done if that cop took me to jail” Aphrodite said her voice soft like a mouse’s voice.


“Come on Aphey I’ll introduce you to Wally he’s my boyfriend, and then maybe we could hook you up with one of his friends” Kuki said excitedly pulling Aphrodite to her table where Wally was serving her drink.


“Wally Aphrodite, Aphrodite Wally, there now that we have the intros maybe we can talk a little more about finding my girl a boy of her own”.


“Actually there is a boy I like but I don’t know if he notices me at all, I mean he looks my way but I think he sees right through me” Aphrodite says as John walks up and stares at Aphrodite.


“You see he stares and I stare back but I don’t think he knows I’m alive most of the time, I just want him to notice me for once in his life”.


“Meanwhile Rachel can’t stop staring at Nigel as she smiles and he smiles back at her thinking the same thing that she is.


“All right I guess we could work out our problems together Rache, now let’s go back and start working on them” Nigel said as Rachel quickly stood up and followed Nigel out of the restaurant.


Well that’s it please reply soon guys and girls