FicWad

Rachel sat in her bunk, her head resting against the wall, facing the window. Bringing her knees up to her chest, she gazed out the window, expressionless.

Gerard looked at her from across the room, puzzled. He couldn't tell if she was sad, angry, tired, or bored. Suddenly her phone vibrated in her pocket, causing her to jump. Her eyes brightened for a second as she answered a text message, then she closed the phone and returned to her previous state. Now something must be wrong. Chris just texted her, and she's not smiling. Gerard slowly walked over.

"You ok?"

Rachel snapped out of her thoughts. "Hm?"

"You look worried," Gerard said.

"Oh," Rachel said. "No, I'm just thinking... more like spacing out, really." She leaned her head against the wall again, closing her eyes.

"You sure?"

Rachel remained silent for a few seconds before replying. "Yeah... I'm fine."

Her bangs fell in her face, and Gerard brushed them away to see a tear roll down her cheek. "What's wrong?" He asked, sitting next to her.

"I don't even know," Rachel said. "My head is just filled with all of these emotions. My mom died not too long ago, and I can still smile. But I'm so lucky to stay with you guys, and it doesn't seem right to be sad either. I'm so confused." She blinked, fighting back tears.

"Hey," Gerard said. "It's ok." He pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight as she tried not to cry. "I understand what you're going through. You don't have to hide your feelings from me. I know you're upset. Let it out. Remember our promise? I want to help you. All of us do. We don't want to stand by and watch you go through this alone."

Rachel stopped fighting and let the tears come. They soaked Gerard's shirt, but he didn't seem to mind. She tried to get ahold of herself so she could talk, but the tears wouldn't stop. Gerard held her tight and comforted her the whole time. He bit his lip to stop his voice from shaking because he had started to cry as well. Finally he spoke.

"I hate watching you do this to yourself," Gerard said. "Why won't you tell me what's going on? Why are you keeping everything to yourself? I feel like I have to force things out of you."

"Because," Rachel said. "I'm afraid. I'm afraid of how people will react if I open up to them. I never trust anyone. I want to tell you how I feel, I really do. It's just so hard..."

Gerard tried to keep his voice steady as he talked. "Rachel, I want you to know, you can trust me. I want you to open up to me. Right now I don't understand what is going on and I don't know how you feel. I want to understand. I want you to tell me."

Rachel nodded. "I will, I promise." She said. "I won't hide things anymore. No more secrets."

Gerard smiled and kissed the top of her head, tears still falling from his eyes. "Same goes for me," he said. "I will not hide anything from you. You can always trust me and I can always trust you, and we'll get through this together. I love you Rachel, I really do."

Rachel didn't know what to say. Was it alright for her to say that she loved him too? Would she sound like a fangirl? Gerard was like the father she never had. He cared for her like a parent would. She loved him, but she didn't know if she was comfortable saying it yet.

"Come on," Gerard said. "Let's go get ready. We're picking up loverboy in two hours."

Rachel smiled. "I'm sure Chris will appreciate the new nickname," she said.

Gerard laughed. "You two will be the cutest couple," he said.

Rachel rolled her eyes. 'Like someone like him would actually like someone like me,' she thought to herself. She tried convincing herself that he doesn't like her, but still, a small part of her wished he did.





















Mikey ran the flat iron carefully down a strand of Rachel's hair. Gerard watched in amusement. Seeing Mikey's serious expression when he did her hair was so hilarious. Rachel was sitting on the floor in front of the huge mirror on the wall, with a bored expression. She loved for her hair to be straight, but it always took so long. She fiddled with the loose thread of her dark grey ACDC shirt, with the logo in red. She had on dark red skinny jeans to match it. She hardly ever wore anything but black jeans, but today she decided to have a little color to impress Chris. Still, it seemed to bright for her and was driving her crazy. She grabbed a black sharpie from her bag and began writing on her jeans, scribbling random quotes and phrases here and there, adding hearts and other various shapes. She lined the bottom of them in black and colored her pockets in a checkerboard pattern. Finally, she set down the sharpie and looked at her work, satisfied. They actually looked really cool. Rachel didn't seem to mind them much now.

But now she was bored. Reaching for her bag, she pulled out some eye makeup. She experimented for a while, seeing which colors she felt like wearing today. Gerard laughed. "How about these colors?" He asked, pointing to some dark red mascara and eyeshadow.

Rachel tried some on, and shook her head. "Too much red," she said, gesturing to her red jeans and the red patterns on her shirt. She rubbed it off with some makeup remover. She picked up some light pink eyeshadow and applied it, putting on a dark purple over it, and a little bit of light black on the sides. "Hmm..." she said, looking at her eyes, trying to decided if it was too much.

"That looks nice," Gerard said.

"Ok," Rachel carefully applied her black eyeliner and mascara, and put a little bit of the purple eyeshadow underneath, by the corners of her eyes. For once she liked how she looked. She smiled at her reflection and Gerard laughed.

"Girls and their makeup," he said, walking out.

"Alright," Mikey said, unplugging the flat iron. "You're all done."

"Thanks Mikey," Rachel said, hugging him. She got up, pulling on her black hoodie and followed Gerard outside. Chris was staying at a hotel not very far away, and they were going to go pick him up. Rachel walked outside the tour bus to catch up with Gerard. He smiled and hugged her.

"You look beautiful," he said.

"Thank you," Rachel replied, blushing. She hoped that Chris would think so too.