Categories > Books > Harry Potter > effingereimagus

Book 1: Chapter 3

by mathmans 4 reviews

The sorting and more.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: G - Genres: Humor,Parody - Characters: Harry,Tonks - Warnings: [!!!] [?] - Published: 2008-03-13 - Updated: 2008-03-13 - 3988 words

Disclaimer: This is fan fiction people. We own none of this stuff.

A/N: Thank you, to those who have posted reviews. It's what keeps me writing. I am going to attempt an updating schedule of a new chapter up every two weeks, but I make no set in stone guarantee. Acouple questions I keep getting I have decided to answer here.

Yes this is going to be aHarry/Tonks story. They are going to go from friends to school sweethearts and on.

I will not be giving information away about the title of this story other then it is a magical person that is even rarer than being a metamorphmagus.

Also Harry's'shadow' ability is what he is calling it not what I would call it. Then again I know what he is really doing.


/Chapter 3/

Utterly amazing was the only way Harry could think of describing the room that Professor McGonagall had led them to. A large table spanned the width of the room, seated at this table were many adults. ‘They must be the Professors,’ Harry thought to himself. Perpendicular to the High Table were four enormously long table filled with students. Hanging above each table was a decorative banner with each house’s crest and colours displayed proudly.

All the seated students and teachers’ eyes were fixed on the entering crowd of first years. However, every eye of the first years was fixed on the ceiling.

Breath taking would be a very literal description of this wonderful work of magic for most of the first year crowd had forgotten to take a breath as they stared into the night sky.

The ceiling reflected the night sky outside as if there was no ceiling at all. The stars were out and very few clouds out but those that were out were reflected by the enchanted ceiling as if they were just out of reach. The first years were so caught up in the wonderful sight above them that they missed Professor McGonagall place a three-legged stool in front of the teachers table and placed an old rugged wizard’s hat upon the stool.

As a shrill voice cried out across the hall all eyes were quickly drawn from wherever they were looking to watch the old rugged hat start to sing:

“Oh, you may not think I’m pretty,

But don’t judge on what you see,

I’ll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me.

You can keep your bowlers black,

Your top hats sleek and tall,

For I’m the Hogwarts Sorting Hat

And I can cap them all.

There’s nothing hidden in your head

The Sorting Hat can’t see,

So try me on and I will tell you

Where you ought to be.

You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve, and chivalry

Set Gryffindors apart;

You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they are just and loyal,

Those patient Hufflepuffs are true

And unafraid of toil;

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,

if you’ve a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind;

Or perhaps in Slytherin

You’ll make your real friends,

Those cunning folk use any means

To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don’t be afraid!

And don’t get in a flap!

You’re in safe hands (though Ihave none)

For I’m a Thinking Cap!”

“So all we have to do is sit on the stool and the hat will tell us what house we are in?” Ron said incensed.“Gits!” Rod yelled at his brothers.

Harry’s nerves eased quickly when he realized all he would have to do is sit on a stool and put on a hat. Harry really didn’t care what house he was in as long as he was with his friends.‘Well I suppose Slytherin won’t be any fun if Draco gets in but still. As long as I can be with my friends, I don’t care,’ Harry thought to himself as Professor McGonagall started calling the students.

“Abbott, Hannah!” Call Professor McGonagall.

A very nervous looking girl with blond pigtails moved to the stool and placed the hat on her head. The hat fell down right over her eyes and moments later, the hat shouted out to the hall,“HUFFLEPUFF!” The Second table on the left exploded in cheers and applause.

Harry looked to his right at Tonks. She was biting her bottom lip and her hair had started to get a green tinge.

“Bones, Susan!”

But Harry was not listening anymore; Tonks was upset and losing control over her powers he had to do something so her secret didn’t get out. Harry slowly reached out and grabbed Tonks hand. When she felt something touch her hand, she quickly looked over and saw Harry smiling at her. When she noticed the smile, she let go of her lip and smiled back. Her hair was still had a pale green hue to it. Harry slowly leaned over to Tonks’s ear and said, “You’re looking a little green,” and grabbed a lock of her hair and moved it so she could see it. Tonks blushed and looked around as she concentrated on changing her hair back to its standard blond with pink tips.

“Granger, Hermione!”

Hermione ran at the stool and shoved the hat down over her eyes.

Moments later it shouted,“GRYFFINDOR!”

When Harry looked back at Tonks, she had resumed biting her lip. So Harry moved closer, held her left hand with his left, and used his right hand to rub her back.

“Longbottom, Neville!”

Neville barely got the hat to touch his hair when it cried out, ”GRYFFINDOR!”

Harry leaned in to whisper in Tonks’s ear, “No matter what houses we are in we will always be friends. I just met you, I won’t lose you already.”

Tonks smiled and stopped biting her lip.

“Malfoy, Draco!”

No one moved to the stool. ‘What did those two do?’ Harry thought to himself.

“Malfoy, Draco!”

Still no one moved.

“When was the last time anyone saw Draco?” Professor McGonagall said while giving the first years a piercing look.

No one answered. Ron, Tonks, and Harry were the last ones to see Draco conscious before Fred and George whisked him away, but none of them were going to rat out the twins.

“Hagrid you had better send an owl to the train immediately,” a very tall, very old looking man said leaning across the table looking down towards Hagrid, who was sitting at the far end of the table. Hagrid quickly got up and stumped out of the hall. “It would be best to just continue with the sorting,” Dumbledore said.

There weren’t many people left now. “Moon”…, “Nott”…, “Parkinson”…, twin girls, “Patil” and “Patil”…, then“Perks, Sally-Anne”…, and then finally.

“Potter, Harry!”

Harry gave Tonks’s hand areassuring squeeze, smiled, and stepped forward. Whispers broke out all around the hall. “Did she say Potter?” and “The Harry Potter?”

Harry just rolled his eyes and sat on the stool. The hat easily covered his eyes. He waited, ‘So, now what?’

‘Now we sort you,’ said a small voice in Harry’s head.

‘What… Who are you?’

‘I’m the sorting hat. Weren’t you listening to my song, lad?’

‘So, what house am I in?’

‘That’s up to you, lad.’

‘I thought that was your job?’

‘Well I am here to give advice.’

‘Then were do you think I should go?’

‘Let’s see… Plenty of courage, agood bit of brains as well, loyal to a fault. I see a bits of others I have sorted. You would do well almost anywhere with your abilities, lad.’

‘I want to be with Tonks and my friends.’

‘Ah, well I don’t know Tonks, but your friends went to Gryffindor. Are you sure you want that?’

‘Yea with my friends.’

‘Fine then…’, “GRYFFINDOR!”

Harry quickly pulled off the hat and rushed to the cheering table. Harry was vigorously patted on the back by the twins as Percy pompously shook his hand. Cheers of “We got Potter! We got Potter!” could be heard from farther down the table. As Harry sat down, he looked back up at Tonks. She was looking down at her feet and biting her lip again. Harry looked around the room as he waited for Tonks’s name to be called.

Sitting at the centre of the High Table in a large ornate chair sat Albus Dumbledore. Harry recognized him from the Chocolate Frog card that Ron was collecting. Harry also spotted Professor Quirrell, the overly nervous man from his first trip to the Leaky Cauldron. The man now had a purple turban wrapped on his head.

There were now only five people left to sort. “Thomas, Dean,” became a Gryffindor.

“Tonks, Nymphadora!”

Tonks groaned when she heard her first name. She quickly shuffled over to the stool and stuck the hat down on her head, it completely covered her head but a little bit of her hair could be seen sticking out around the brim of the hat. As time wore on Harry noticed that her hair started to turn green and then quickly changed to any angry red and just as the hat yelled, “GRYFFINDOR!” Tonks hair changed back to its blond and pink combo.

When she heard the hat scream, she quickly pulled off the hat and ran to the table to sit next to Harry. As she sat down Harry gave her a big hug and said, “There’s no stopping us now. We will cause so much chaos.”

Tonks hugged Harry back and said,“Stupid hat wanted to put me in Hufflepuff.”

Harry was so busy listening to Tonks that he missed Ron become a Gryffindor as well. After the last boy was sorted into Slytherin, Albus Dumbledore got to his feet. He beamed down at all the students and said, “Welcome, Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before our feast, I would like to say a few words. And they are ‘Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment!Tweak!’

“Thank you!”

He sat back down and everybody clapped. Harry laughed, “At least he has a sense of humour.” As the applause died down the table was suddenly filled with food.

Over were the days of having to sneak to the kitchen at night to knick food. He had never seen so many things he liked to eat on one table: Roast Chicken, Pork chops, sausages, bacon, steak, boiled potatoes, roasted potatoes, chips, peas, carrots, gravy, ketchup, salt and vinegar.

Harry was determined to eat his fill, even if he regretted it later. Tonks seeing Harry’s over loaded plate as a challenge loaded her plate even more and dug in. Harry and Tonks spent the next half hour trying to one-up each other to the disgust of their new housemates. When the food was gone and desserts replaced the empty dishes, Harry and Tonks groaned but dug in just the same. Harry could only eat three pieces of cake while Tonks finished her fourth. Raising her arms in victory, she let out avery unladylike burp that made Hermione glared at her indignantly, while Harry said, “I bow to the victor, but this isn’t over yet.”

Harry and Tonks settled back into their chairs to easy their aching stomachs. Harry took the time study the High Table since he was no longer worried about Tonks. Hagrid was drinking heavily from his gigantic goblet. Professor McGonagall was talking with Professor Dumbledore. Professor Quirrell was nervously talking with a teacher with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and sallow skin.

It happened very suddenly. The greasy haired teacher looked away from Quirrell and straight into Harry’s eyes. As their eyes met, Harry felt a sharp pinch between his eyes and caught aflicker of a woman with long dark red hair as pain shot across the scar on Harry’s forehead.

“Ouch!” Harry clapped a hand to his head.

“What’s up, your stomach should hurt not your head after how much we just ate,” Tonks said.


The pain was gone as quickly as it had come. Harry leaned over to one of the older students and asked, “Who is that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?”

“That’s Snape. He teaches potions, the great git. He's really mean. He wants to teach Defence. Quirrell should most likely watch his back for knives and other sharp objects,” George said with a bit of a laugh.

Harry watched Professor Snape for a while hoping he could get another glimpse at that red hair woman. She looked so familiar but Harry could not remember having ever seen her before, and why would he have seen her in the first place.

“Ahem… Just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered,” came the voice of Dumbledore as he stood at his place at the High Table. “I have a few start-of-term notices to give you.

“First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of out older students would do well to remember that as well,” Dumbledore said as he look in the direction of the Weasley twins. “I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors.

“Anyone interested in playing for their house Quidditch teams should contact their Head of House.

“And finally, I must tell you that this year; the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to those who do not wish to die a very painful death.”

“He can’t be serious?” Harry laughed.

“Must be,” an older black girl sitting next to George, said, “He usually gives a reason why not to go somewhere. Not that it will stop these two.”

“Now, off you go, you have a free day tomorrow before term starts. So I suggest you use it wisely.”

The Gryffindors rose to exit the hall and Harry locked eyes with Fred. “We can spend tomorrow trying to perfect that switching spell so we can prank the Slytherin players.”

Harry laughed, “Already planning your first prank of the year?”

“Maybe mate…” George responded.

“You will have…” Fred continued.

“To wait and see.” George finished with a smirk.

“Harry, I am really tired can we get together tomorrow and explore the school so we know where stuff is?” Tonks asked sleepily.

The Gryffindor first years were lead out of the hall by Percy and up to the seventh floor. When they reached alarge portrait of a very fat woman in a pink dress Percy addressed the first years, “This is the entrance to Gryffindor tower. The password is ‘Caput Draconis’.” After Percy said the password, the woman in the portrait curtsied and the portrait swung away from the wall. Percy lead them into the Gryffindor common room, a cozy, room full of squashy armchairs.

Percy directed the girls through the door on the left and the boys to the one on the right. Tonks gave Harry alittle wave as she headed sleepily up to the girls dormitory.

Harry wasn’t the least bit tired. Harry had found since the first night of play as a shadow that he didn’t need to sleep unless he wanted to. However, the shear amount of chatter that Harry was hearing was giving him a headache, so he went up to the boys dormitory to lie on the bed and wait till everyone was asleep and then go exploring as a shadow.

When Harry got to the first year boys dorm room, he found his trunk at the end of a great four-poster with deep red, velvet curtains. Following close behind Harry were Ron and Neville. Harry went over to his trunk and pulled out his pyjamas.

“So what are your plans for tomorrow?” Ron asked of Neville and Harry.

“I thought I might go down and see about the green houses. I have always liked being in Gran’s garden.”Neville said as he pulled his pyjama top down.

“Tonks and I plan on doing alittle exploring of the castle and see what we can find interesting.”

“Cool, maybe if I hang around with Harry and Tonks we will become friends,” came Ron’s voice. However, Harry was looking right at Ron and his lips never moved. Getting a little spooked that he heard Ron when he was not talking, Harry quickly turned away and looked at Neville.

“Gryffindor? And the hat barely even touched my head. It can’t be right. I’m not brave, am I?” Harry heard Neville say with his back to Harry.

“Well I think the hat looks at the inner you. So if it put you in Gryffindor so fast you must be brave and the hat can tell even if you can’t, Nev.” Harry said reassuringly.

“What? Thanks Harry. I was just thinking that the hat must have made a mistake but if you believe that the hat can see something I can’t then I feel a little better,” Neville said turning around to look at Harry.

Harry flopped on his bed and closed the hangings. ‘Did Neville say that or did he think that? And Ron I know he didn’t say those things. Am I reading peoples thoughts? That can’t be good. A person’s mind is private. However, I could use it to see if Tonks likes me. Still it wouldn’t be fair to her.’

It was some time later that Harry peaked out of the hangings around his bed. Harry heard the sounds of deep breathing and snores from his fellow Gryffindors.

Harry quickly exited the dorm and headed down to the common room. Sitting in a chair in the corner was Hermione with her potions book. “I have to study, all these people grew up with magic and they will know more then me and I will look stupid. And Harry has all the books for all seven years. I’ll never keep up.”

“Hermione,” Harry said in response to Hermione’s frantic ravings. Hermione looked over to Harry. “Just don’t forget to live. There is more to life then books and knowledge.” Harry turned and made his way to the portrait hole.

“Where are you going?”

“Well I’m not tired and I wanted to do a little exploring.”

“You will get in trouble if you are caught.”

“Well then I will have to be careful not to get caught,” Harry gave Hermione a wink and pushed out of the common room.

The darkness in the castle was perfect for Harry to go exploring in shadows. With only a few torches lit there wasn’t a single place that Harry couldn’t find and explore.

Harry started on the seventh floor and worked his way down. There were many hidden passages and secret doors. Travelling as a shadow gave Harry a natural advantage when finding secret paths. As Harry would approach a new passage or door, he would feel that the shadows moved beyond or through the hidden entrances.

It was in one of these passages that led from the fourth floor down to the entrance hall that Harry heard a set of voices.

“It would be nice to get all those slimy Slytherins,” the first voice said.

Hiding in a particularly dark shadow, Harry snuck up on the pair of voices. As a shadow, Harry was basically invisible, a shadow moving in shadow.

It was Fred and George, and they were discussing a prank aimed at the Slytherins.

“Maybe a bit of localized transfiguration with a delay…” George said.

“We could set it up outside there common room. Then when they exit their common room it turns there robes bright pink and their hair purple,” Fred added.

“Yea and if we set the delay right we can change them so that it changes them as they enter the Great Hall.”

“That way the professors will think that the spell is on the Door to the Great Hall.”

“So when do we do it. I think we should wait.”

“Setting off a prank this early will point a glaring finger at us.”

“How do we shift the blame? We are the only pranksters bold enough to pull stuff like this.”

“Tonks fancies herself as aprankster. If we make it known that she and Harry are out to get some people we will at least have some deniability.”

“Then we will have to start avery public prank war with Tonksie and Harrie”

“Public challenge?” Just then, aloud meow was heard. All three heads turn to the noise, to see a scrawny cat staring at the pair.

“Mrs. Norris, do thing I have achance to kick her before Filch shows up.”

“No let’s move.” Fred and George took off running back up to seventh floor.

Even though Harry was invisible, he did not wish to have a run in with any of the Hogwarts staff tonight. So as Fred and George ran off Harry concentrated on being out in front of the Gryffindor common room.

Just after he had faded out of shadows and gave the password to the portrait, Fred and George came around the bend and entered the portrait hole at a run. Seconds later, a man came wheezing around the corner.

“I’m telling you Harry you shouldn’t be out in the halls at night,” Fred said to Harry.

“Yea mate, it’s against school rules,” George said as the wheezing man came to a stop in front to the portrait hole.

“Good thing we stopped him from going out right Mr. Filch.” Fred said turning to the man and putting on an innocent acts.

“Good work boys.” Filch wheezed.“You best listen to these young lads. They’ll steer ya right. They’ll be prefects in a few years if they keep up the good behaviour.”

“Mr. Filch you are too kind. We best be getting Harry back to bed now.” George said as he led Harry down the portrait hole to the common room.

As soon as the portrait swung into place, Fred and George let out a cry of laughter. When Fred got his breathing back under control he turned to Harry and said, “Thanks mate for not ratting us out.”

“Yea we got Filch wrapped around our finger.” George continued.

“The man refuses to believe that we are the ones causing most of his troubles.”

“Everyone else in the school knows that we a pair of merry pranksters…”

“But he refuses to believe that we are anything but saintly students.”

“We plan on keeping it that way for as long as we can…”

“Eventually the man will wise up but we are going cause as much trouble until he does.”

“So you act all sweet and innocent around him and he is none the wiser?” Harry asked not believing that these two could possible be fooling anyone into believing they are innocent.

“Yep,” George said nodding his head vigorously.

“Any way it’s not safe to go out there now. Mrs. Norris, Filch’s cat, is the one that spotted us.” Fred said turning and guiding Harry toward the boys’ dorms.

“I think she is out to catch us in the act to prove to Filch we aren’t a saintly duo.”

As the trio past the third year boys’ dorm room, Fred and George bid Harry goodnight and headed on in. Harry continued up to the first year’s dorm and straight to his bed. He wasn’t tired but knew that it would be useless to head back out into the halls so he might as well sleep until morning.
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