Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Cheaters
GERARD’S POINT OF VIEW THREE YEARS LATER
I was on tour with the guys. We had just finished up our second CD and we had two new members, Frank Iero and Bob Bryar. We were doing great, we had a huge fan base and our CD, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, had sold triple the amount our first CD had. I missed Ella and Dacoda so much though. I was almost always drunk just to hide the fear that Ella had found someone else. No one knew my fears except for myself.
It was Tuesday and we had just finished our show in Oklahoma. I was headed out for a walk when Travers walked up to me.
“Hey.”
“Hey Gerard, you look like shit.”
“Thanks… I just miss my son and girlfriend,”
“Oh here, I have something that may cheer you up, this one is on the house.” He handed me a small bag with white powder in it.
“Thanks…”
“Trust me it’ll cheer you up, how do you think I’m always so cheery?”
“Okay.” With that he walked away. I sat down under a small tree and studied the contents of the bag. I realized that it was cocaine. I grabbed my keys and put some on the tip and ‘snorted’ it. I repeated a few more times. I just sat there under the tree waiting for it to kick in. I wasn’t waiting very long. I started to feel a lot happier. I walked back to the bus to get my anti-depressants and a few beers. I want to make this a night to remember.
“Gerard, where have you been? We've been worried.”
“Aww little Mikey, don’t worry about me, you sound like mum.”
“Seriously, are you okay?”
“Yes fine, just came to get some beers.” I walked past him to my bunk. As I was looking through my bag I saw a picture of Ella, it was like the effect of the cocaine suddenly wore off. I rummaged through my bag until I found my amphetamines. I shoved them into my pocket and grabbed a six pack out of the fridge. I was starting to feel hell low again. I walked into the outskirts of the arena so no one would be able to spot me. I opened the pills and swallowed two whole. I opened a beer and just drowned myself in it. I snorted what was left of the cocaine and after many amphetamines and a lot of beer I passed out.
I awoke a few hours later. I looked at my watch, it said 2:30am. I sat up slowly and leaned against the tree. The events of the last few years flooded back. Ella would’ve been better off with someone else. God, I felt like crap. I just sat there under the tree thinking about how my existence has ruined so many lives. Ella has had nothing because of me she deserves someone better, someone who makes her feel loved and Dacoda he deserves a better farther, someone who would’ve been there for the important things.
I got up and slowly went back to the bus. I knew what I had to, there was no turning back. I walked up the steps and was happy to find that no one had waited up for me. I got my phone, rope and broke the blade out of my shaver. I wanted to hear Ella’s voice before I… well… ended the pain and suffering I bought to the people I loved and to myself.
After about fifteen minutes of walking I found a tree with a branch about a foot higher then I am. I tied the rope with a lasso loop at the bottom just high enough that my feet wouldn’t touch the ground. I reached into my pocket and dialed the apartment number.
“Hello?” Ella answered with a sleepy voice. Hearing her voice just made me want to cry. I reached into my pocket again and brought out the blade.
“E…Ella…”
“Gerard? Why are you calling so late?”
“I’m calling… to say goodbye.”
“What! Gerard why? What's happened?” I could hear her starting to cry.
“I love you but you deserve someone better.” I ran the cold blade against my skin. “Ouch,” I muttered.
“Oh my God. Gerard please no, Gerard…” She was sobbing heavily.
“Everything will be better off this way. You can find someone who can support you… someone to look after you.”
“No Gerard… please. I need you. Gerard, what have you taken?” Her voice was demanding but she couldn’t hide the fear and sadness that filled it.
“I… nothing.”
“Gerard, tell me what you have taken.” I could tell her anger was rising. I decided I wasn’t going to tell her, it would make it ten times worse.
“Nothing… I’m just… just sick of screwing up other peoples lives, I'm just a worthless fuck. I don’t deserve to live so I’m going to end it.” I brought the blade across the skin on my wrist once more. I didn’t mutter anything but I watched the blood flow from the wound.
“Who’s life have you screwed up? Gerard you do fucking deserve to live, without you who would I be?”
“It doesn’t matter now, just know that I love you.”
“Gerard… no… go… go wake Jerry and hand him the phone.”
“What? No. Ella I have to do this.”
“Gerard please…” She was pleading.
“Fine, but he can't stop me from doing what is right.” I walked towards the managers bus, Jerry was tour manager.
I knocked on the door and Jerry answered. He ushered me inside and I handed him the phone. I heard him talking to Ella but I only caught some of the conversation.
“Uh yeah… okay… really? … okay… yeah… sure… fine… no problem.” He hung up and gave the phone back to me.
“Sit down Gerard.” He pointed to a chair behind me. I nodded my head and sat down. “So Ella tells me that you were planning to kill yourself, why?”
“I… uh…”
“What drugs are you taking?”
“None…”
“Gerard, you may have been able to fool your girlfriend but you can't fool me” I looked down.
“Gerard, tell me.”
“Cocaine…” I whispered.
“Fuck, Gerard… anything else?” I reached into my pocket and threw the amphetamines at him. He studied the packet.
“Amphetamines, How many did you have?”
“I don’t know… three or four maybe…”
“Gerard, think, how many did you take?” I put my head in my hands, I was so fucking tired I was hoping to get it over and done with quickly.
“Gerard.”
“Eight, I took eight.”
“What?! You could have killed yourself.”
“If you didn’t realize that’s what I'm trying to do.” I didn’t mean to snap but I couldn’t help it.
We talked for a few more hours and the effect of the drugs and pills had started to wear off. I still planned to kill myself as soon as I could get away. There was a knock on the door and Jerry answered it. A blonde chick walked in and squeezed me to death. I realized it was Ella.
Hi, I want to know the truth. Is my writing getting better or worse? Please tell me the truth. Don't be afraid to say: "You're the worst fucking writer ever" or "This story sucks so bad that I hope it dies" just tell me WHY you think that and I will try to improve in future chapters. Thankyou
I was on tour with the guys. We had just finished up our second CD and we had two new members, Frank Iero and Bob Bryar. We were doing great, we had a huge fan base and our CD, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, had sold triple the amount our first CD had. I missed Ella and Dacoda so much though. I was almost always drunk just to hide the fear that Ella had found someone else. No one knew my fears except for myself.
It was Tuesday and we had just finished our show in Oklahoma. I was headed out for a walk when Travers walked up to me.
“Hey.”
“Hey Gerard, you look like shit.”
“Thanks… I just miss my son and girlfriend,”
“Oh here, I have something that may cheer you up, this one is on the house.” He handed me a small bag with white powder in it.
“Thanks…”
“Trust me it’ll cheer you up, how do you think I’m always so cheery?”
“Okay.” With that he walked away. I sat down under a small tree and studied the contents of the bag. I realized that it was cocaine. I grabbed my keys and put some on the tip and ‘snorted’ it. I repeated a few more times. I just sat there under the tree waiting for it to kick in. I wasn’t waiting very long. I started to feel a lot happier. I walked back to the bus to get my anti-depressants and a few beers. I want to make this a night to remember.
“Gerard, where have you been? We've been worried.”
“Aww little Mikey, don’t worry about me, you sound like mum.”
“Seriously, are you okay?”
“Yes fine, just came to get some beers.” I walked past him to my bunk. As I was looking through my bag I saw a picture of Ella, it was like the effect of the cocaine suddenly wore off. I rummaged through my bag until I found my amphetamines. I shoved them into my pocket and grabbed a six pack out of the fridge. I was starting to feel hell low again. I walked into the outskirts of the arena so no one would be able to spot me. I opened the pills and swallowed two whole. I opened a beer and just drowned myself in it. I snorted what was left of the cocaine and after many amphetamines and a lot of beer I passed out.
I awoke a few hours later. I looked at my watch, it said 2:30am. I sat up slowly and leaned against the tree. The events of the last few years flooded back. Ella would’ve been better off with someone else. God, I felt like crap. I just sat there under the tree thinking about how my existence has ruined so many lives. Ella has had nothing because of me she deserves someone better, someone who makes her feel loved and Dacoda he deserves a better farther, someone who would’ve been there for the important things.
I got up and slowly went back to the bus. I knew what I had to, there was no turning back. I walked up the steps and was happy to find that no one had waited up for me. I got my phone, rope and broke the blade out of my shaver. I wanted to hear Ella’s voice before I… well… ended the pain and suffering I bought to the people I loved and to myself.
After about fifteen minutes of walking I found a tree with a branch about a foot higher then I am. I tied the rope with a lasso loop at the bottom just high enough that my feet wouldn’t touch the ground. I reached into my pocket and dialed the apartment number.
“Hello?” Ella answered with a sleepy voice. Hearing her voice just made me want to cry. I reached into my pocket again and brought out the blade.
“E…Ella…”
“Gerard? Why are you calling so late?”
“I’m calling… to say goodbye.”
“What! Gerard why? What's happened?” I could hear her starting to cry.
“I love you but you deserve someone better.” I ran the cold blade against my skin. “Ouch,” I muttered.
“Oh my God. Gerard please no, Gerard…” She was sobbing heavily.
“Everything will be better off this way. You can find someone who can support you… someone to look after you.”
“No Gerard… please. I need you. Gerard, what have you taken?” Her voice was demanding but she couldn’t hide the fear and sadness that filled it.
“I… nothing.”
“Gerard, tell me what you have taken.” I could tell her anger was rising. I decided I wasn’t going to tell her, it would make it ten times worse.
“Nothing… I’m just… just sick of screwing up other peoples lives, I'm just a worthless fuck. I don’t deserve to live so I’m going to end it.” I brought the blade across the skin on my wrist once more. I didn’t mutter anything but I watched the blood flow from the wound.
“Who’s life have you screwed up? Gerard you do fucking deserve to live, without you who would I be?”
“It doesn’t matter now, just know that I love you.”
“Gerard… no… go… go wake Jerry and hand him the phone.”
“What? No. Ella I have to do this.”
“Gerard please…” She was pleading.
“Fine, but he can't stop me from doing what is right.” I walked towards the managers bus, Jerry was tour manager.
I knocked on the door and Jerry answered. He ushered me inside and I handed him the phone. I heard him talking to Ella but I only caught some of the conversation.
“Uh yeah… okay… really? … okay… yeah… sure… fine… no problem.” He hung up and gave the phone back to me.
“Sit down Gerard.” He pointed to a chair behind me. I nodded my head and sat down. “So Ella tells me that you were planning to kill yourself, why?”
“I… uh…”
“What drugs are you taking?”
“None…”
“Gerard, you may have been able to fool your girlfriend but you can't fool me” I looked down.
“Gerard, tell me.”
“Cocaine…” I whispered.
“Fuck, Gerard… anything else?” I reached into my pocket and threw the amphetamines at him. He studied the packet.
“Amphetamines, How many did you have?”
“I don’t know… three or four maybe…”
“Gerard, think, how many did you take?” I put my head in my hands, I was so fucking tired I was hoping to get it over and done with quickly.
“Gerard.”
“Eight, I took eight.”
“What?! You could have killed yourself.”
“If you didn’t realize that’s what I'm trying to do.” I didn’t mean to snap but I couldn’t help it.
We talked for a few more hours and the effect of the drugs and pills had started to wear off. I still planned to kill myself as soon as I could get away. There was a knock on the door and Jerry answered it. A blonde chick walked in and squeezed me to death. I realized it was Ella.
Hi, I want to know the truth. Is my writing getting better or worse? Please tell me the truth. Don't be afraid to say: "You're the worst fucking writer ever" or "This story sucks so bad that I hope it dies" just tell me WHY you think that and I will try to improve in future chapters. Thankyou
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