FicWad

Someone hit me please. I forgot I was supposed to dedicate last chapter to my friend. So I rewrote it in Ella's POV and dedicated this chapter to him. The reason that this is dedicated to my friend (He said he'd kill me if I use his name) is because he has tried to commit suicide :(. He is still alive thank god. But what happens in this chapter... and the last, really happened (I mean like how he tried to commit suicide) Yeah... So this is dedicated to you my friend.






ELLA’S POINT OF VEIW

I had just received the scariest phone call of my life. I had to get to Gerard to make sure he’s okay. I woke Dacoda and told him that he would be staying with his grandma for awhile. Donna answered the door.
“What in the name of God are you doing here so early?”
“Hi Donna, sorry to wake you, but I need to go to Oklahoma immediately. I was wondering if you could look after Dacoda.”
“Oh, yeah, sure, but why?”
“I don’t really have time to explain I have to get on a flight as soon as possible I’ll tell you everything when I return.”
“Okay well good bye and good luck then.” I bent down and gave Dacoda a kiss on the cheek.
“I love you Dacoda, I’ll be back soon.”
“I love you too Mum.” I got in my car and rushed to the airport. I managed to secure a seat on a flight that was due to leave in ten minutes.

The flight was long and boring, the fact that I was worried sick made the flight much worse. As soon as the plane landed I grabbed a taxi and started for Oklahoma Performing Center where I knew the busses were parked behind. When I arrived I paid the taxi driver and hurried for the manager’s bus. Jerry opened the door and stood aside to let me pass. Gerard was sitting in a chair in the corner next to the hallway that leads to the bunks. I ran up squeezed him, I couldn’t help it, he had just scared the fuck out of me a couple of hours ago.
“Gerard…”
“Ella, your hair it’s different.”
“Yeah but I came here for you not to show you my hair.”
“I’ll just be in my bunk if you need me.” With that Jerry walked out.
“Gerard, why?”
“Why? Because I became tired of living, tired of being a piece of shit, it would be better off this way.”
“How? How would it be better off? I know Dacoda wouldn’t, your fans, your brother, your mum… me”
“You will all get over it.” The tone that he used pissed me off but I hid my anger.
“Yeah, when we die ourselves. Without you I would die inside. Instead of loosing one parent Dacoda would loose both of us. How would you like it if I killed myself?”
“I… I…” He put his head in is hands and started to cry. Seeing Gerard in so much pain, hurt so bad. I felt a tear fall down my face. I walked down and kneeled in front of him. He removed his head from his hands, his eyeliner was running. I wiped a tear away from his cheek with the tip of my thumb.
“I… I love you Ella. You deserve so much better.”
“Shhh.” I stood up and sat on him with my legs wrapping around the back of the chair. I leaned over and softly kissed him.
“We need to get some sleep.” I stood up and took Gerard's hand. He followed with no complaints. We walked silently to the bunks on the main bus. I slid in first and Gerard crawled in next to me.
“I really don’t deserve you.”
“Shhh, sleep now.”
“By the way, I love your hair.” I moved over and put my head on his chest.
“Thanks.” I fell asleep as I was.

I slowly awoke but I didn’t open my eyes. My hand grazed along the spot Gerard was meant to be. I couldn’t feel him there. I opened my eyes and quickly sat up, resulting in hitting my head on the top of the bunk.
“Fuck,” I whispered. I jumped out of the bunk and threw on my shoes. I had no idea where Gerard was but I was going to find him before he did anything stupid.

There was no sign of him anywhere. I had looked everywhere I could think of. I decided to look in the gathering of trees behind the arena. The grass was overgrown so it was easy to spot a disturbance that lead to the middle of the gathering. The footprints were about Gerard’s size. I followed it until I found Gerard. His back was facing me, he obviously hadn’t heard me approach. Above him a rope with a loop in it was waiting. A chair was placed directly under the rope. Gerard put one foot up, before he could put up the other I slowly approached him.
“Gerard… why?” He quickly spun around. His arms and neck were all bleeding. His top was covered in blood stains.
“Ella.” I could see the sadness in his eyes. Tears started falling down my face.
“I can't believe this, I can't believe you would do this to your own son… to me.” I was crying heavily now but I couldn’t care less.
“I…” He couldn’t finish his sentence.
“What Gerard, what? I would be walking away right now but I'm too scared you’ll… you’ll hang yourself.” He was making me fucking insane.
“I can't deal with this anymore.” He sunk to his knees and broke down crying heavily. I ran up to him and rapped my arms around his bloody body.
“Yes you can Gerard, I’ll always be here for you no matter what. I fucking love you Gerard.” He broke away from the hug and gently kissed me.
“Know how much I want to show you you’re the only one.” I looked down and smiled when I realized these were the lyrics of Demolition Lovers, my favorite song Gerard ever wrote. I leant over and I kissed his soft lips with all love I felt for him. It was obvious Gerard was doing the same. We sadly broke the kiss to breathe.
“Fuck…” was all I could say. Gerard put his arms around my back and pulled me close to his chest. His shirt reeked of his blood but I didn’t care. I love this man and that’s all I care about. Gerard’s hands gently rubbed up and down my back as my head rested on his chest, listening to his calm heart beat.

After about ten minutes of Gerard and I just sitting there I stood up.
“Where are you going?” Gerard looked up at me.
“No where, I just wanted to have a look.”
“A look at what?”
“Stand up.” Gerard stood up but still looked confused. I took a step towards him and lifted up his shirt. His beautiful torso was now covered in ugly slashed. His blood wept out of the wounds that were still open. I dropped his shirt and stumbled back a few steps. Gerard dropped his head in shame.
“We need to get back to the bus.” Gerard looked up, an expression of terror swept across his face.
“Why? I don’t want them to see me like this.”
“Your… wounds need attending to before they get infected. Here, you can wear my jumper.” I took my jumper off and handed it to Gerard. The back was covered in Gerard’s blood from his wrists when he was hugging me.
“Thanks.” Gerard put it on and draped his arm across my shoulders as we walked back to the bus.

As we walked in everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at us.
“Gerard. Where were you? Are you okay? Hi Ella,” Mikey was the first to speak.
“Hey little bro, I'm fine don’t worry about me.”
“Hi Mikey.” I started walking towards the bathroom. Gerard caught on and continued walking as well.

The bathroom in the bus was really small which made it a bit hard to move.
“Gerard, sit down.” He obediently put the lid down on the toilet and sat on it. I grabbed the flannel and gave it to Gerard to hold. I carefully removed Gerard’s jumper followed by his shirt.
“Flannel please.” Gerard handed me the flannel and I carefully wiped away the blood on his chest, shoulder blades and neck.
“Ouch.” I quickly pulled my hand away.
“Sorry Gerard.”
“It’s okay.”
“Hand.” He raised his right hand and I cleaned it off followed by his left.
“I have to go get the disinfectant. I’ll be back in a sec.” Gerard nodded slightly. I walked to the kitchen where everyone still was.
“Hey Sam, hello little one.” Samantha was on tour to be with Mikey as she is due to give birth soon and Mikey wanted to be there. She poked her tongue as I rubbed her stomach.
“Hey Ella, how long have you been here?”
“Came last night.” I opened the cupboard and grabbed the disinfectant.
“Cool, so why are you here?”
“Missing Gerard too much, so how’s the pregnancy going?”
“Yeah it’s going fine.”
“That’s good, it was nice seeing you again.”
“Yeah, you too.” I walked back to the bathroom and attended to Gerard's wounds.

Sam and I were off to the side watching the concert. Gerard was happy which made me happy. The show was almost finished they had one song left. The way Gerard introduced the song was unexpected but he was making sure no one went down the path he almost did.
“Fuck, suicide is not good. If you or someone you know is thinking about it, go talk to someone. Your mum, your best friend or fuck, even a school counselor. Just remember, suicide doesn’t stop pain, it creates more. This next song is for the people that have considered suicide, this song is called Give ‘Em Hell Kid.”


Oh, btw thanks to everyone who reviewed it means a lot. Thanks hugs

xox