Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > We can settle this affair.
Second period rolled into 4th and fifth and soon the day was over, unfortunately it ended with bunch of detentions on my hands, some because I talked back to the teachers, some cause apperently 'I interfered with the learning process of the class' and some because I didn't do any of the homework. I didn't let weeks worth of detentions pull me down, I was about to drive and I had a party to go to, who cares why little crazy French dude invaded countries, all French dudes are crazy anyway.
And what good it will do to me to spend my time learning this crap, I won't need it in real life anyway, they should teach us how you deal with your mother being a bitch or with one of your peers carving their name into your skin like you're a blank meaningless chalk board with no name or feelings. Why don't they teach us the important shit?
They think it's so easy being 15 and it does seem easy, all you gotta do is wake up every morning and come sit your ass on the hard plastic chair and listen to people you don't care about go on and on about dead people who did important shit. You don't have to worry about bills or how to put food on the table for your family, just wake up every day...But what a task it can be for some of us.
Little do they know about how we have to spend our lessons and breaks to calculate every single hall and exit and feel your heart exploding with fear, sending strikes to your lungs each time you see a girl with long hair. Or how you fake the laugh when one of your friends makes fun of the way your skin shaped funny and looks bumpy, not knowing it's not really your skin but layers upon layers of dried make up you hide your scars with. Or how you can't stop thinking about your mother and what exactly she's doing in her office now. Or how you wince in pain everytime you meet Mikey's untainted sparkly eyes and how much more pain shots through your veins when you recognize yourself in Gerard's tortured glance.
Little do they know or guess how it feels like to have the entire ranges of emotions inside, little dot hey know what's behind your blank stare and vacant eyes, they never take the time to worry about the person behind the grade anyway cause there isn't a person but another cog in their well oiled identity murdering machine.
They don't know how words that to others seems meaningless and empty can toxic the very core of you, rotting every good cell and eventually becoming you, playing themselves on a loop time and time again.
How much anger burns inside and burn your heart, having you on your knees, willing to do whatever it takes to distinguish it, succeeding only in the form of booze.
How desperate things might look in the eyes of a 15 year old and what little mistake can cost you, they might claim they were teenagers once but they weren't in your shoes, they weren't imprisoned in their own skin, waiting for the day it all ends and you break free, holding your breathe for the minute everything is OK again and choke when that minute is denied yet again.
What do they know besides their stupid facts and books? Nothing.
I dunno why I was so against the system now, I was part of the system just weeks ago, just going on about my business, worrying about grades and college and my life but it all felt meaningless and empty now.
The future looked so far away, it was like I was on the cliff staring down the valley and I saw nothing but darkness and blurry images, and it felt horrible cause I couldn't control it, I wasn't part of it.
I didn't want to be anything when I grow up, the future seems to hold nothing bright or hopeful for me, I was sucked into this big space of nothing and I floated around, unattached to anything and yet not completely gone.
I was stuck in the middle of nowhere and I showed no signs of moving one way or another.
And what's the point really? In one moment your life can flip in any direction gravity pulls it, so what's the point of all this? Books and studying and doing your best? Just to be like everyone else, swimming with the flow and living up to people's expectation? I saw no satisfaction in that anymore, no one lived up to my expectations why should I live up to theirs?
I kicked the little rock lying peacefully on the sidewalk until I came along, isn't that what life all about? Laying around peacefully in your safe spot until something comes along to rock your world?
"Where's Mikey," 2 sets of footsteps and a familiar voice joined me in my march.
"Detention," I said in monotone voice, smiling at Ray who nodded briefly at me behind Gerard's back, "What's up"
"I'm cool you?"
I responded with a shrug, he doesn't want to hear my monologue about how the system sucks.
"I'm gonna hang out at Ray's, be back around 7 ish," Gerard squinted at the bright sun, it wasn't even warm but it didn't stop the sun from sending down it's bright glare.
"Whatever," I shrugged indifferently.
Ray nudged Gerard a little, signalling him something with his head, Gerard scrunched his face at whatever it was, "Um wanna come?"
"You wish," I smirked, hoping my embarrassment didn't show on me. Even fucking Geetard didn't want me there and he's a low life. Maybe I should be nicer to people instead of scaring them away.
"See you around then," Ray nodded and they crossed the street, heading to his house.
I came back to an empty house as usual, not finding the usual note from mom demanding to do shit around the house accompanied by another long sheet of exactly she needs me to do, I settled on the couch with a soda can in one hand and the remote in the other, with Jordan cozily snuggled on my lap. I felt sorry for him as I completely neglected him the past few days but he understood everything, I just knew he did, just by the way he wagged his tail I knew he held no grudges or hard feelings.
I placed my feet on the coffee table just cause I knew that if mom saw me she would shriek her soul out, flipped through the channels lazily.
"Honey I'm home," Gerard's joyful cry traveled in front of him and reached me a second before he dumped his back pack and sat on the couch next to me, scratching Jordan's head.
"It's not you home," I blurted before the promise of being nice mentally kicked my ass.
"Oh but you're my honey?," he chuckled.
"Hey I'm learning to pick my battles," I returned my gaze on the screen, "Didn't you say you'll be back around 7nish?"
"I got hungry," he wrapped his arm around me.
"And Ray lives in a 3rd world country and had nothing to offer but rice and rotten vegetables," I shifted and leaned away, placing the can on the table.
"Pretty much," he laughed.
"The fridge is in the kitchen you lucky refugee," I jerked my head in the direction of the kitchen.
"Are you coming?," he paused before disappearing around the corner into the world of pans and weird powders.
"Why? The microwave scares you?"
"Oh that's right," he placed his hand on his forehead, "I forgot you can't cook even if your life is on the line"
"I can do anything you can do better," I signalled Jordan to get up and we both followed Gerard.
"So what's for dinner?," He opened the fridge and peered in.
"There are some left overs calling your name there," I offered generously.
Gerard scrunched his face and moved some stuff around.
"We could make some pasta and meat balls," I hopped on the counter, peeking over his shoulder and grabbing an apple from the fruit bawl.
"Naw"
"Maybe pancakes?", taking a big bite from the apple, my eyes wondered involuntarily to his ass, the back of his t shirt was sloppily tucked in, giving me frontal view to the bent ass in front of me, making me giggle.
"What?," he glanced over his shoulder.
"Nothing", I hid my grin with the red apple, "How about beckon and eggs?"
"Don't feel like it," he returned his gaze to the packed fridge.
"Pizza?"
"Nope"
"Mashed potatoes?"
"OK ew"
"Sausages?"
"Double ew"
"Toast?"
He shook his head violently.
"Home made pie?"
"Can you make it?," he stood up with a hopeful spark in his eyes, closing the fridge door.
"No," I laughed, "I ran out of things I can cook when you refused the pancakes"
He rolled his eyes, "You and your fucking...I'm still hungry"
"We can order something," I opened the drawer where we kept all the different menus and went through them, "We have Italian, Chinese and French.."
"What snails and frog legs?," Gerard made a face coming closer to peek at the flayers I held in my hands.
"My mom is really the only one eating that crap," I looked up to see him stand too close to me, leaning on the counter.
As I leaned back a little, I hated people who invaded my personal space, he caught my look and then looked down at the menus again, "I want some Italian"
"Here," I handed him the Italian restaurants flayers, "Pick"
"You're not eating?," he scanned through the flayers, tapping his fingers on his chin
"I'm good'
And what good it will do to me to spend my time learning this crap, I won't need it in real life anyway, they should teach us how you deal with your mother being a bitch or with one of your peers carving their name into your skin like you're a blank meaningless chalk board with no name or feelings. Why don't they teach us the important shit?
They think it's so easy being 15 and it does seem easy, all you gotta do is wake up every morning and come sit your ass on the hard plastic chair and listen to people you don't care about go on and on about dead people who did important shit. You don't have to worry about bills or how to put food on the table for your family, just wake up every day...But what a task it can be for some of us.
Little do they know about how we have to spend our lessons and breaks to calculate every single hall and exit and feel your heart exploding with fear, sending strikes to your lungs each time you see a girl with long hair. Or how you fake the laugh when one of your friends makes fun of the way your skin shaped funny and looks bumpy, not knowing it's not really your skin but layers upon layers of dried make up you hide your scars with. Or how you can't stop thinking about your mother and what exactly she's doing in her office now. Or how you wince in pain everytime you meet Mikey's untainted sparkly eyes and how much more pain shots through your veins when you recognize yourself in Gerard's tortured glance.
Little do they know or guess how it feels like to have the entire ranges of emotions inside, little dot hey know what's behind your blank stare and vacant eyes, they never take the time to worry about the person behind the grade anyway cause there isn't a person but another cog in their well oiled identity murdering machine.
They don't know how words that to others seems meaningless and empty can toxic the very core of you, rotting every good cell and eventually becoming you, playing themselves on a loop time and time again.
How much anger burns inside and burn your heart, having you on your knees, willing to do whatever it takes to distinguish it, succeeding only in the form of booze.
How desperate things might look in the eyes of a 15 year old and what little mistake can cost you, they might claim they were teenagers once but they weren't in your shoes, they weren't imprisoned in their own skin, waiting for the day it all ends and you break free, holding your breathe for the minute everything is OK again and choke when that minute is denied yet again.
What do they know besides their stupid facts and books? Nothing.
I dunno why I was so against the system now, I was part of the system just weeks ago, just going on about my business, worrying about grades and college and my life but it all felt meaningless and empty now.
The future looked so far away, it was like I was on the cliff staring down the valley and I saw nothing but darkness and blurry images, and it felt horrible cause I couldn't control it, I wasn't part of it.
I didn't want to be anything when I grow up, the future seems to hold nothing bright or hopeful for me, I was sucked into this big space of nothing and I floated around, unattached to anything and yet not completely gone.
I was stuck in the middle of nowhere and I showed no signs of moving one way or another.
And what's the point really? In one moment your life can flip in any direction gravity pulls it, so what's the point of all this? Books and studying and doing your best? Just to be like everyone else, swimming with the flow and living up to people's expectation? I saw no satisfaction in that anymore, no one lived up to my expectations why should I live up to theirs?
I kicked the little rock lying peacefully on the sidewalk until I came along, isn't that what life all about? Laying around peacefully in your safe spot until something comes along to rock your world?
"Where's Mikey," 2 sets of footsteps and a familiar voice joined me in my march.
"Detention," I said in monotone voice, smiling at Ray who nodded briefly at me behind Gerard's back, "What's up"
"I'm cool you?"
I responded with a shrug, he doesn't want to hear my monologue about how the system sucks.
"I'm gonna hang out at Ray's, be back around 7 ish," Gerard squinted at the bright sun, it wasn't even warm but it didn't stop the sun from sending down it's bright glare.
"Whatever," I shrugged indifferently.
Ray nudged Gerard a little, signalling him something with his head, Gerard scrunched his face at whatever it was, "Um wanna come?"
"You wish," I smirked, hoping my embarrassment didn't show on me. Even fucking Geetard didn't want me there and he's a low life. Maybe I should be nicer to people instead of scaring them away.
"See you around then," Ray nodded and they crossed the street, heading to his house.
I came back to an empty house as usual, not finding the usual note from mom demanding to do shit around the house accompanied by another long sheet of exactly she needs me to do, I settled on the couch with a soda can in one hand and the remote in the other, with Jordan cozily snuggled on my lap. I felt sorry for him as I completely neglected him the past few days but he understood everything, I just knew he did, just by the way he wagged his tail I knew he held no grudges or hard feelings.
I placed my feet on the coffee table just cause I knew that if mom saw me she would shriek her soul out, flipped through the channels lazily.
"Honey I'm home," Gerard's joyful cry traveled in front of him and reached me a second before he dumped his back pack and sat on the couch next to me, scratching Jordan's head.
"It's not you home," I blurted before the promise of being nice mentally kicked my ass.
"Oh but you're my honey?," he chuckled.
"Hey I'm learning to pick my battles," I returned my gaze on the screen, "Didn't you say you'll be back around 7nish?"
"I got hungry," he wrapped his arm around me.
"And Ray lives in a 3rd world country and had nothing to offer but rice and rotten vegetables," I shifted and leaned away, placing the can on the table.
"Pretty much," he laughed.
"The fridge is in the kitchen you lucky refugee," I jerked my head in the direction of the kitchen.
"Are you coming?," he paused before disappearing around the corner into the world of pans and weird powders.
"Why? The microwave scares you?"
"Oh that's right," he placed his hand on his forehead, "I forgot you can't cook even if your life is on the line"
"I can do anything you can do better," I signalled Jordan to get up and we both followed Gerard.
"So what's for dinner?," He opened the fridge and peered in.
"There are some left overs calling your name there," I offered generously.
Gerard scrunched his face and moved some stuff around.
"We could make some pasta and meat balls," I hopped on the counter, peeking over his shoulder and grabbing an apple from the fruit bawl.
"Naw"
"Maybe pancakes?", taking a big bite from the apple, my eyes wondered involuntarily to his ass, the back of his t shirt was sloppily tucked in, giving me frontal view to the bent ass in front of me, making me giggle.
"What?," he glanced over his shoulder.
"Nothing", I hid my grin with the red apple, "How about beckon and eggs?"
"Don't feel like it," he returned his gaze to the packed fridge.
"Pizza?"
"Nope"
"Mashed potatoes?"
"OK ew"
"Sausages?"
"Double ew"
"Toast?"
He shook his head violently.
"Home made pie?"
"Can you make it?," he stood up with a hopeful spark in his eyes, closing the fridge door.
"No," I laughed, "I ran out of things I can cook when you refused the pancakes"
He rolled his eyes, "You and your fucking...I'm still hungry"
"We can order something," I opened the drawer where we kept all the different menus and went through them, "We have Italian, Chinese and French.."
"What snails and frog legs?," Gerard made a face coming closer to peek at the flayers I held in my hands.
"My mom is really the only one eating that crap," I looked up to see him stand too close to me, leaning on the counter.
As I leaned back a little, I hated people who invaded my personal space, he caught my look and then looked down at the menus again, "I want some Italian"
"Here," I handed him the Italian restaurants flayers, "Pick"
"You're not eating?," he scanned through the flayers, tapping his fingers on his chin
"I'm good'
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