Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I Will Always B the 1
Tell Me Why I Can't Be There Where You Are?
2 reviewsShow me the meanin of being lonely. Is this the feeling I need to walk with. Tell me why I can't be there where you are. There's something missing in my heart.
1Moving
~*~
March 17, 2007
MTV, Spring break
Miami, Florida
In A green room somewhere...
~*~
Patrick paced back and forth as he looked down at his phone.
It was only 10am.
They had taken a red eye from Chicago after the show last night and he's working on 3 hours of sleep. All just to be back on a plane to be back in Chicago by 11pm. That didn't bother him though. He could deal with the kind of strain on his body from lack of sleep and being over worked he's been doing it for years.
The one thing on his mind bothering him however was a bit more difficult to handle. They had a few minutes before they did some sort of interview. He brought out his blackberry and pressed speed dial #2 to Andrea's work number. He heard as it rang for a minute and then her voice came on the line sounding tired as ever.
"Hello?" Andie aswered.
"Hey its me." Patrick replyed.
"Oh hey."
"You sound exhausted."
"Maybe because I am I was up all night."
"How's the baby?"
Andie gave a weaker sigh.
"Yesterday's radiation left her so weak. She was just crying and throwing up all night. She has her last treatment today. Now I'm just trying to get her to sleep, to get her energy up, but she's just not having it."
Patrick heard shuffling and then he heard his daughter in the background crying out. His heart broke at the sound of the little girls voice. All he wanted was to be there holding her tight and singing her to sleep.
"Mi niña, cierra los ojos. Go to sleep for mommy just for a little while?" Andie spoke to the baby who's cries only quieted down when he knew Andie was holding her.
He closed his eyes and he could picture the two of them. Andie holding her while Payton laid her little head on her shoulder and messed with her mommys hair. He wanted to be there. He wanted to be there so bad it hurt. He heard more shuffling and Payton's sudden cry as he shot up from his sitting position.
"Andie what's going on?!" Patrick suddenly demanded as he began to pace, getting stares from the guys and others in the room.
"Shit Patrick I have to go she's throwing up again! I'll call you later."
Without letting him answer she hung up and he stared at his phone as he heard it click.
"What's going on?" Joe asked standing next to him and staring at his phone too.
"The high doses of radiation and chemo are making her sick. She was throwing up, she hasn't slept, and I'm fucking here! I should be there with them!"
Joe didn't really know what to say to that. He knew nothing could comfort his friend at this moment. He did the only thing he could. He patted Patrick's shoulder and let him vent adding in an appropriate 'I know' where needed. Patrick pinched the bridge of his nose and began his pacing again in efforts to clear his head. He just wanted to make the pressure and pain building in his head dissapear. Everything was so screwed up and he just wanted to get this interview over with so he could play the show and go home.
Someone walked in and said fall out boy would be on next. The guys walked up and filed out the room. Everything seemed to go as normal as possible with Pete answering most of the questions and getting all the attention. That was perfectly fine with him though.
The press conference was almost finished when there was an unexpected question.
"Hey guys- im Ryan from US Weekly."
"So these Celebrities. Are they really just like us?" Andy asked.
"Yea. Pretty much," Ryan started, "well we know you've been visitng the same patient for the past couple of weeks in Chicago and we would like to know who you're visiting."
"Well we're visiting Pete's daughter." Joe added,
"she's in the ICU."
"Come on. Shut up you guys." Pete said rolling his eyes.
Patrick sat there and gave this smirk. But all he could think about was not being there. The press gave a bit of a laugh and then Pete spoke up again.
"But in all seriousness," Pete started, "it goes like this. We just hope everyone can give us our space. Its someone dear to us and the whole situation is a hard thing to cope with and the constant media attention will malke it worse for them."
The press looked confused and for the first time ever that was the end of that.
The guys played 3 songs from their new album 'Infinity on High'. The moment they were through Patrick ran off stage and the guys trailed behind him.
"Doesn't he understand that we're all going with him?" Andy stated.
"I don't think he does. His mind isnt quite there." Joe sighed.
The guys jumped on a plane and Patrick's eyes got heavy. Before he knew it Joe pointed out that Patrick was sleeping. As they looked at him in REM sleep his eyes suddenly opened.
"What is it?" Pete asked.
"I hear screaming." Patrick stated as they landed at O'Hare.
"No things are fine." Pete whispered.
The moment Patrick got off the plane his phone started to go nuts.
"Andrea. What's going on?" Patrick demanded as he answered.
"They're taking her into surgery." Andie said pacing.
"What?"
"She has a hemorage they are trying to stop the bleeding.That's it."
"But I'm not even in the limo."
"Patrick. They had a window and they wanted to take her in as soon as possible."
"YOU PROMISED ME THEY WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HER UNTIL I GOT THERE!"
"They had to. That was the window. Now stop fucking yelling at me!"
"What happened?" Pete demanded.
They guys got to the limo, jumped in and it raced down 90 to 94.
~
It was maybe 20 minutes after my call when Patrick was standing next to me in the galley. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the head. The other 3 guys and Alicia sat outside in the waiting area with my mom, brother and Joey.
"What's going on?" Patrick asked.
"They just put her under. Its been about 26 minutes." I said pacing the floor.
"I thought they usually don't let families watch this?"
"They do. Sometimes. I asked the Chief of Surgery if you could be here.."
"And then?"
"That's it here you are."
"Oh ok."
It was 89 minutes more into the surger when she started to flat line.
"What's going on?" Patrick demanded.
"They stopped her heart. They have to stop the blood flow to stitch the tear. It'll only be a few minutes."
It was when the few minutes between life and death had passed that they realized she was literally flat lining on the table.
Suddenly the doctors and scrub nurses are scattering like roaches all trying to do a million things at once. When Patrick realized that the life of his daughter was at hand he started to freak out.
"SAVE HER! DO SOMETHING!" Patrick yelled banging on the glass of the galley.
"Lets get him out the room!" The chief, who was sitting with us in the gally stated.
"No! NO! Get the fuck off me!" Patrick screamed, "I don't want to leave!"
I started to pull Patrick out the room with me but he didn't budge. In the end we both started to man our ground. This all felt like it was going in slow motion and my heart started to beat in my brain.
The moment I tried to be strong was the moment I failed. My blue scrubs started turning deeper as my tears fell.
"Oh GOD. Not my hummingbird." I grumbled After the fourth 'Clear' and still no heartbeat. I grabbed Patrick by the waist and I pulled him out the door to the hallway. He didn't need to see that. No parent should see that. I go into nurse-mom-wife mode and I brought him down into me.
As Patrick just cried I was utterly lost. I was now rubbing his head because his hat fell off somewhere between the galley and the hallway.
"I couldn't save her...I couldn't save her. Oh god I couldn't save her." Patrick sobbed as he continued to mumble.
Suddenly the 'I'm sorry's' started and I just grabbed his face.
"There's nothing you could have done." I whispered.
The Scrub nurse walked into the hallway and I searched her face for something. For anything, that would say this was a dream or that she's back.
But seeing the way she was soaked in my daughters blood I knew...I knew it was far from ok.
"Andrea..." Robert said softly as he walked up to us, I got up from the floor where I was with Patrick and I stood in front of him. I couldn't look him in the eye so I aimed for his blood filled scrubs instead.
"we tried everything we could, but Hummingbird she was already so weak..."
"DON'T CALL HER THAT!" Patrick shot as he was suddenly off the floor and in Robert's face, "you didn't save her! You CAN NOT call HER that!"
I pulled Patrick away from Robert and he just looked over at me.
"Do we have to have him tranquilized?" Robert asked.
"No...just-" I sobbed, "I need. I need to go out there and tell my mom...oh god I have to tell my mom-" I couldn't even finish that sentence. This was all so surreal
"Que Andrea? Que me tienes que decir?"
My moms voice was the one I needed to hear the most. I turned to see she had walked up to us and was looking at us wanting answers. I felt horrible for Patrick but he didn't know. He didn't know about the late night feedings, how my mom was the only one who could comfort her when she cried.
He didn't know that as much as she was my baby, Payton belong to my mom.
I cried into my moms shoulder and she held me close. I didn't even have to tell her just by my actions she knew.
"Ay Dios Mio mi nena. Mi chikita de oro" she cried into my hair and this made everything just a million times worse.
@@@@
Alright guys I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry! I promise it had to be done and you'll see why. I killed Patty Cakes little girl and I hate myself and I cried and cried while I was writing this because it was so hard on me and it hit so close to home. So these are my very thoughts and also what I think my moms thoughts were and what we were feeling during some harsh times in our life so be gentle please. I don't know how my mom did it props to her for being able to be so strong after my sister died. It nearly broke my heart and this was just my pretend daughter. Anyway I'm rambling but yes. Don't hate me it all makes sence later. Its all for the greater good of the story.
XOXO
KayRod
Oh yea. Umm summary and title thanks to The Backstreet Boys Show me the meaning of being lonely.
March 17, 2007
MTV, Spring break
Miami, Florida
In A green room somewhere...
~*~
Patrick paced back and forth as he looked down at his phone.
It was only 10am.
They had taken a red eye from Chicago after the show last night and he's working on 3 hours of sleep. All just to be back on a plane to be back in Chicago by 11pm. That didn't bother him though. He could deal with the kind of strain on his body from lack of sleep and being over worked he's been doing it for years.
The one thing on his mind bothering him however was a bit more difficult to handle. They had a few minutes before they did some sort of interview. He brought out his blackberry and pressed speed dial #2 to Andrea's work number. He heard as it rang for a minute and then her voice came on the line sounding tired as ever.
"Hello?" Andie aswered.
"Hey its me." Patrick replyed.
"Oh hey."
"You sound exhausted."
"Maybe because I am I was up all night."
"How's the baby?"
Andie gave a weaker sigh.
"Yesterday's radiation left her so weak. She was just crying and throwing up all night. She has her last treatment today. Now I'm just trying to get her to sleep, to get her energy up, but she's just not having it."
Patrick heard shuffling and then he heard his daughter in the background crying out. His heart broke at the sound of the little girls voice. All he wanted was to be there holding her tight and singing her to sleep.
"Mi niña, cierra los ojos. Go to sleep for mommy just for a little while?" Andie spoke to the baby who's cries only quieted down when he knew Andie was holding her.
He closed his eyes and he could picture the two of them. Andie holding her while Payton laid her little head on her shoulder and messed with her mommys hair. He wanted to be there. He wanted to be there so bad it hurt. He heard more shuffling and Payton's sudden cry as he shot up from his sitting position.
"Andie what's going on?!" Patrick suddenly demanded as he began to pace, getting stares from the guys and others in the room.
"Shit Patrick I have to go she's throwing up again! I'll call you later."
Without letting him answer she hung up and he stared at his phone as he heard it click.
"What's going on?" Joe asked standing next to him and staring at his phone too.
"The high doses of radiation and chemo are making her sick. She was throwing up, she hasn't slept, and I'm fucking here! I should be there with them!"
Joe didn't really know what to say to that. He knew nothing could comfort his friend at this moment. He did the only thing he could. He patted Patrick's shoulder and let him vent adding in an appropriate 'I know' where needed. Patrick pinched the bridge of his nose and began his pacing again in efforts to clear his head. He just wanted to make the pressure and pain building in his head dissapear. Everything was so screwed up and he just wanted to get this interview over with so he could play the show and go home.
Someone walked in and said fall out boy would be on next. The guys walked up and filed out the room. Everything seemed to go as normal as possible with Pete answering most of the questions and getting all the attention. That was perfectly fine with him though.
The press conference was almost finished when there was an unexpected question.
"Hey guys- im Ryan from US Weekly."
"So these Celebrities. Are they really just like us?" Andy asked.
"Yea. Pretty much," Ryan started, "well we know you've been visitng the same patient for the past couple of weeks in Chicago and we would like to know who you're visiting."
"Well we're visiting Pete's daughter." Joe added,
"she's in the ICU."
"Come on. Shut up you guys." Pete said rolling his eyes.
Patrick sat there and gave this smirk. But all he could think about was not being there. The press gave a bit of a laugh and then Pete spoke up again.
"But in all seriousness," Pete started, "it goes like this. We just hope everyone can give us our space. Its someone dear to us and the whole situation is a hard thing to cope with and the constant media attention will malke it worse for them."
The press looked confused and for the first time ever that was the end of that.
The guys played 3 songs from their new album 'Infinity on High'. The moment they were through Patrick ran off stage and the guys trailed behind him.
"Doesn't he understand that we're all going with him?" Andy stated.
"I don't think he does. His mind isnt quite there." Joe sighed.
The guys jumped on a plane and Patrick's eyes got heavy. Before he knew it Joe pointed out that Patrick was sleeping. As they looked at him in REM sleep his eyes suddenly opened.
"What is it?" Pete asked.
"I hear screaming." Patrick stated as they landed at O'Hare.
"No things are fine." Pete whispered.
The moment Patrick got off the plane his phone started to go nuts.
"Andrea. What's going on?" Patrick demanded as he answered.
"They're taking her into surgery." Andie said pacing.
"What?"
"She has a hemorage they are trying to stop the bleeding.That's it."
"But I'm not even in the limo."
"Patrick. They had a window and they wanted to take her in as soon as possible."
"YOU PROMISED ME THEY WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HER UNTIL I GOT THERE!"
"They had to. That was the window. Now stop fucking yelling at me!"
"What happened?" Pete demanded.
They guys got to the limo, jumped in and it raced down 90 to 94.
~
It was maybe 20 minutes after my call when Patrick was standing next to me in the galley. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the head. The other 3 guys and Alicia sat outside in the waiting area with my mom, brother and Joey.
"What's going on?" Patrick asked.
"They just put her under. Its been about 26 minutes." I said pacing the floor.
"I thought they usually don't let families watch this?"
"They do. Sometimes. I asked the Chief of Surgery if you could be here.."
"And then?"
"That's it here you are."
"Oh ok."
It was 89 minutes more into the surger when she started to flat line.
"What's going on?" Patrick demanded.
"They stopped her heart. They have to stop the blood flow to stitch the tear. It'll only be a few minutes."
It was when the few minutes between life and death had passed that they realized she was literally flat lining on the table.
Suddenly the doctors and scrub nurses are scattering like roaches all trying to do a million things at once. When Patrick realized that the life of his daughter was at hand he started to freak out.
"SAVE HER! DO SOMETHING!" Patrick yelled banging on the glass of the galley.
"Lets get him out the room!" The chief, who was sitting with us in the gally stated.
"No! NO! Get the fuck off me!" Patrick screamed, "I don't want to leave!"
I started to pull Patrick out the room with me but he didn't budge. In the end we both started to man our ground. This all felt like it was going in slow motion and my heart started to beat in my brain.
The moment I tried to be strong was the moment I failed. My blue scrubs started turning deeper as my tears fell.
"Oh GOD. Not my hummingbird." I grumbled After the fourth 'Clear' and still no heartbeat. I grabbed Patrick by the waist and I pulled him out the door to the hallway. He didn't need to see that. No parent should see that. I go into nurse-mom-wife mode and I brought him down into me.
As Patrick just cried I was utterly lost. I was now rubbing his head because his hat fell off somewhere between the galley and the hallway.
"I couldn't save her...I couldn't save her. Oh god I couldn't save her." Patrick sobbed as he continued to mumble.
Suddenly the 'I'm sorry's' started and I just grabbed his face.
"There's nothing you could have done." I whispered.
The Scrub nurse walked into the hallway and I searched her face for something. For anything, that would say this was a dream or that she's back.
But seeing the way she was soaked in my daughters blood I knew...I knew it was far from ok.
"Andrea..." Robert said softly as he walked up to us, I got up from the floor where I was with Patrick and I stood in front of him. I couldn't look him in the eye so I aimed for his blood filled scrubs instead.
"we tried everything we could, but Hummingbird she was already so weak..."
"DON'T CALL HER THAT!" Patrick shot as he was suddenly off the floor and in Robert's face, "you didn't save her! You CAN NOT call HER that!"
I pulled Patrick away from Robert and he just looked over at me.
"Do we have to have him tranquilized?" Robert asked.
"No...just-" I sobbed, "I need. I need to go out there and tell my mom...oh god I have to tell my mom-" I couldn't even finish that sentence. This was all so surreal
"Que Andrea? Que me tienes que decir?"
My moms voice was the one I needed to hear the most. I turned to see she had walked up to us and was looking at us wanting answers. I felt horrible for Patrick but he didn't know. He didn't know about the late night feedings, how my mom was the only one who could comfort her when she cried.
He didn't know that as much as she was my baby, Payton belong to my mom.
I cried into my moms shoulder and she held me close. I didn't even have to tell her just by my actions she knew.
"Ay Dios Mio mi nena. Mi chikita de oro" she cried into my hair and this made everything just a million times worse.
@@@@
Alright guys I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry! I promise it had to be done and you'll see why. I killed Patty Cakes little girl and I hate myself and I cried and cried while I was writing this because it was so hard on me and it hit so close to home. So these are my very thoughts and also what I think my moms thoughts were and what we were feeling during some harsh times in our life so be gentle please. I don't know how my mom did it props to her for being able to be so strong after my sister died. It nearly broke my heart and this was just my pretend daughter. Anyway I'm rambling but yes. Don't hate me it all makes sence later. Its all for the greater good of the story.
XOXO
KayRod
Oh yea. Umm summary and title thanks to The Backstreet Boys Show me the meaning of being lonely.
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