FicWad

Chapter Four
Harry awoke early the next morning, sure all these early morning starts were unhealthy for a teenage boy. A small snore drew his attention to Monster, and he glanced down to see him still sleeping, curled up at the foot of his bed. He smiled fondly at the sleeping krup, the poor puppy had tired himself out completely playing with Dudley.
When he had mentioned to Monster last night that they were leaving the next morning, Monster had looked so forlornly at Dudley that Harry had sat down and explained to the krup how they couldn’t take Dudley with them, and that he was simply too large and wouldn’t fit in any of his bags, but he had perked up slightly when Harry had suggested that he might find someone else to play with when they returned to school. The krup had still looked so sad, that Harry had decided to get him a voodoo doll of Dudley for Christmas.
Hedwig on the other hand looked delighted to be leaving the Dursleys permanently, while, perhaps due to the influence of Monster, she too had developed a fun summer game, she seemed to remember the previous summers of being locked in her cage.
With a yawn he rolled out of bed and grabbed some of his old clothes, idly noticing the transfiguration and charms were wearing off. After dressing he crept downstairs for a bite to eat, filling up for what he was sure would be a busy day later. He brought the last of the bacon up for Monster, knowing that Monster would enjoy the bacon all the more in the knowledge that he was denying the Dursleys their customary breakfast. Harry often wondered why wizards did not seem to realise how intelligent most magical animals were, flobber worms and Crabbe and Goyle aside, they often seemed to have an air of amused tolerance around wizards, when they were not actively trying to kill them that is. He harboured suspicions of house elves in particular, they always seemed a little too pathetic and eager to please, that and they were both conveniently present and ignored in every major wizarding establishment in the world. A little too convenient for his tastes, but then he was the one who suspected he was being watched by invisible people.
He woke Monster who, as he suspected he would, wolfed the bacon down with admirable speed when he told him it was the last in the fridge, though for some reason he left one slice on the plate.
Almost an hour later Harry heard the usual noises of the Dursleys settling down to breakfast, which was soon interrupted by a bellow from his uncle who must have learned that Harry had taken the last of the bacon. On hearing this Monster picked up his slice of bacon and sauntered down the stairs to the kitchen, curious Harry followed him to be met with a hilarious sight. Monster had settled on the floor and was noisily and with great relish licking and chewing on the strip of bacon; both Petunia and Vernon were speechless with outrage, while Dudley seemed torn between terror and tackling the small krup for the bacon.
Predictable to a tee, Vernon’s face showed signs of what he recognised as the beginnings of a truly magnificent colour changing cycle, but was prematurely aborted by Monster. On happily finishing the last of the bacon, he casually wandered over to Vernon, cocked a leg and peed on his foot. Even Harry was struck dumb by the sight, he had thought Monster had not understood his badly drawn diagrams and scribbled calculations on the exact angle that would be best for peeing on his uncle, the krup was a genius, the angle was perfect for maximum foot coverage. With an impressed look directed at the krup he swept out of the room, it was time for him to leave Number Four Privet Drive for good.
While Dudley was being distracted by Monster last night, Harry had broken into his not-so-secret stash of spray paints. At around one in the morning, with a bag full of aerosols on one shoulder and Hedwig on the other shoulder acting as a lookout, he had crept out of the house.
‘Oh how the mighty have fallen’ must have been the thoughts of his invisible minders as Harry had sprayed badly spelled insults on all the houses surrounding number four. Harry took the time to explain what each of the insults meant to Hedwig, and how they were properly spelled as he sprayed them, one is never too old to learn after all, and she certainly seemed pleased with some of the explanations. After around twenty minutes, they had even worked out a crude system of hoots through which Hedwig offered her opinion on which insults should be used on which house.
On returning to his room after breakfast he told Hedwig that it was time to get into Monster’s heavily padded travel carrier, which she did with minimal fuss. He had had a long discussion last night with her after they had returned, in which he informed her that she, being a most beautiful owl, was far too conspicuous and well known as his familiar, that and an owl flying around low in the daytime was extremely noticeable. During this discussion he had asked her if she had had any spells cast on her, to which she replied with a shake of her head and an extremely smug look. Harry thought it best not to ask.
He picked up his backpack containing the shrunken shopping bags filled with the remainder of his recent purchases, along with important items such as his invisibility cloak and his school supplies, and headed down the stairs and to the small side window through which he had made his dramatic return a few days ago.
Monster followed him into the room, a foxy grin on his whiskered face. Harry picked him up, ready and waiting for the neighbours to realise the state of their houses and the fact number four was completely untouched.
There it was. He would have felt guilty for the vandalism if the neighbours had not spent years sneering at him and tutting over his appearance. Within moments what seemed like the whole neighbourhood was on the streets, wailing in the case of Mr. Number Seven, and shouting in the case of everyone else. Seriously that man needed to grow some, he was the type of man who made you wonder if his children looked perhaps a little bit too much like the milkman.
Slower than he would have expected, the first person noticed the unblemished state of number four, and what had the makings of a good mob descended on the Dursley residence.
The doorbell rang, this was his cue. He tossed Monster out the window into the hedge and leapt after him. As he tore through the hedges he heard Vernon loudly accusing him of the vandalism to which Mrs. Patterson was heard exclaiming that he was a poor mistreated orphan and that clearly the only one who would have done such a thing was his porky-good-for-nothing-son. The voices soon petered out, but from the last he heard the police were being called. A vicious smile spread across his face as he ran, crouching as low as he could, across Mr Number Twenty-two’s back garden.
With a mental sigh of relief he burst through the last hedge and noticed his bus coming round the corner. He quickly ripped open his bag and hurriedly ushered Monster into the carrier alongside Hedwig, glad he had bought the deluxe model. With a snap he closed the bag, just as the doors opened, the driver gave him a sympathetic smile as he paid his fare and with a jolt he recognised the driver as the same one from his recent journey back to Little Whining and he immediately pasted a resigned yet brave smile on his face.
The smile had an unfortunate effect on the driver whose expression changed to a frightening familiar one on a grown man, he looked as if he was about to hug Harry or carry him off home to keep him safe. Harry easily recognised that look. Mrs Weasley got that look a lot. He nervously edged his way to a seat near the back of the bus, trying to look well fed.
Harry hopped off the bus and after finding his next bus stop entered a nearby cafe, he had an hour to kill and a craving for tea. Anyone who was around Seamus for an extended period of time got odd cravings for tea for days afterwards, Dean seemed to be the only one immune, but then he did drink obscene amounts of coffee.
He ordered some breakfast and left to change into a set of his new clothes in the bathroom, carefully checking up on his pets in the meantime. All well, he sauntered back to his table giving the waitress a roguish wink on the way. As the middle aged woman blushed and giggled slightly, he wondered how he had previously failed to notice this formidable weapon in his arsenal, the legendary Potter charm.
Eight cups of tea and four bathroom breaks later, he left a generous tip and left to wait the ten minutes for his bus. His watch beeped and he quickly downed a dose of the foul tasting and almost sandy textured negating potion. He had raided the medicine cabinet in the Dursleys and on making sure none of the medicines were essential, emptied all of the smaller bottles into the bin, washed them, and carefully re-filled them with the negating potion, enough for one dose.
He had only picked the smaller bottles that could be easily concealed within his hand, the frequency with which the potion had to be taken ensured he would be taking it in public on occasion and he had no intention of being tackled by some well meaning individual trying to foil what looked like an inept suicide attempt.
The bus arrived, late as per usual, and Harry got on with a resigned sigh. To throw off The Order, or whoever would eventually be tracking him, Harry was taking a variety of buses criss-crossing England and only heading to the coast in a very general direction.
While necessary, this meant he was spending nearly the whole day on public transport and getting off at random stops to leave a scrap of clothes soaked in his blood. Anyone scrying for his would get a number of different results, giving him that extra little bit of time if need be. He doubted Dumbledore would fail to notice any magic he cast, and so had to cut his arm every time he wanted to leave a false trail, all the while hoping that the bloody scraps he hid would not be found and used by a wizard with less than helpful intentions before he could brew the potion to make his blood useless outside of his body.
A small fortune and seven hours later, a very grumpy, nauseous and sore boy-who-lived staggered off the last bus to be met with Dean’s smiling face. He opened his mouth to speak, but on noticing just how irritable Harry looked, wisely closed it, instead gently steering his fellow brunette towards a small restaurant.
After a much needed meal and a surreptitious healing potion, Harry was finally feeling far more human again and ready to talk.
‘How long was your journey?’ Dean asked, a trace of caution still present in his tone.
‘It was horrible, I made a list of spells to memorise but felt bus-sick after only an hour, got asked if I wanted to become a man behind a petrol station by an old pervert..’
Dean promptly burst out laughing.
‘Stop laughing, it was traumatising. The man was sixty if he was a day.’
By now Dean was almost crying with laughter so he decided to wait till later, when he had a proper audience on which to vent his woes.
A few minutes later, and still chuckling slightly Dean checked his watch and declared it time they headed to the ferry. They were travelling by muggle ferry as the movements of wizards into and out of Britain were closely watched by a variety of interested parties, none of whom Harry wanted to alert to his position.
Dean had already bought the tickets and the pair walked towards the boat, Harry repressing the urge to break into a run.
As the boat left the harbour, the last sailing of the day, one thought of the many that drifted through Harry’s mind stuck out;
‘Cleaning out Monster’s travelling case is going to take hours.’


The ferry arrived in Ireland a few hours later and the two were met by a rather excited Seamus, apparently his beloved grandmother had decided to visit. Dean, after hearing Seamus use the name ‘Grammy’, immediately began mocking Seamus, but Harry had noticed the odd little smile playing on Seamus lips and decided discretion was the better part of valour and so remained silent.
After a few insults from Dean and no reply from Seamus, he too noticed the look on Seamus face and trailed off with a worried look on his face. The rest of the short walk to the portkey point was mostly silent, interspersed with anxious looks Dean kept directing at Seamus. Harry would have found all this funny if not for the exhaustion and slight apprehension he was feeling, Seamus’ mother had not believed Harry last year and Harry was getting more worried about his reception in the Finnegan house the closer they approached.

When Harry had pointed this out to Seamus when the invitation o visit had been extended Seamus had reassured him that his mother had not really concerned herself with Harry last year, her main issue was with Dumbledore. All of his mother’s family couldn’t stand Dumbledore’s politics and occasionally the man’s name was used as an insult in the Finnegan household. Even his father, a muggle, also had issues with Dumbledore and the way his policies affected the Irish wizarding community a community he was now a part of.
The main magical school in Ireland had lost a good deal of both its funding and students with Dumbledore’s victory over Grindewald. Admittedly that was to be initially expected with Dumbledore teaching in Hogwarts, but his refusal to acknowledge the Finegas Academy as one of the major European magical schools caused the decline of a once respected school. He once famously dismissed it as a ‘school for aspiring hedge witches’ during his earlier and less politically savvy years.

There were many theories as to why Dumbledore had sought to ruin the Finegas Academy, one of the most popular was that he wished to increase the enrolment in his alma mater, which had been suffering due to the war. Many British students had sought an education in Ireland, which was neutral like its muggle counterpart during the war. Closing the Finegas Academy would cause young Irish wizards and witches to seek their education abroad and it was likely that Irish students would travel to England for schooling rather than to the other large wizarding schools on the continent to avoid language barriers. Furthermore the British students in the Finegas Academy would doubtless turn to Hogwarts for their schooling. Another popular theory was that he and the headmaster of the Finegas Academy, Professor Conaghan, who was rumoured to have silently supported Grindewald, were long time enemies and Dumbledore sought revenge using his newfound fame and popularity. In the opinion of Seamus’ Grammy, a combination of both were most likely, although she firmly rejected accusations that Professor Conaghan was a supporter of Grindelwald claiming these rumours only spread after Dumbledore’s victory.

Nevertheless the academy had not recovered after the initial sharp drop in attendance in the early 1950’s and had continued with a steady decline to such an extent that nowadays Finegas Academy was more of a museum than a school, the majority of young Irish wizards and witches receiving their education abroad. If Dumbledore had intended to bring the Irish students to Hogwarts he failed, as after an initial influx of Irish students the rest turned to Durmstrang, finding English teachings and culture far too different to the Irish. In fact the only Irish students that attended Hogwarts were half-bloods like Seamus, as the young English magical culture, except for the elite, were far more in tune with their muggle counterparts and by in large ignored the old ways and traditions.
The Irish magical population had not suffered the losses the English had during the wars and the magical population in Ireland had always been far larger than that of England to start with. Therefore mixed marriages in Ireland were relatively rare and there was little stigma attached to muggle borns or half bloods who were only a tiny fraction of the Irish magical society with its high number of pure bloods. On the other hand the muggle borns had little political power but avoided prejudice as the old families were not threatened by the incoming number of muggle borns bringing their culture with them.

They reached the portkey terminal and Seamus activated the old sock with a word, there were a few seconds of nauseating colour before the three of them slammed into the ground, Harry the only one sprawled on the ground.

Harry took a quick glance around from his ground height position to see a fairly large stone house made granite. It did not look too old, perhaps a century or so, and was surrounded by rich green fields dotted with horses.
‘I’m guessing no-one told you how to use portkeys properly then?’ Seamus said frowning down at Harry as he offered his hand.
‘I don’t think the Weasleys know to be honest, when we took the portkey to the world cup the only ones left standing were the adults and Cedric.’
‘Well it takes either quite a bit of practise or good balance to get right but I’m sure the Weasleys know the theory behind it. Honestly, I sometimes forget how thick Ron can be.’
‘Well I see you’re still standing’ Harry pointed out to Dean as he wiped some grass off his clothes
‘I, unlike you lesser mortals, have excellent balance. Actually I know a bit of kick boxing so my balance is pretty damn good.’ Dean retorted smugly looking around. ‘That and I visit Seamus all the time which involves getting a hell of a lot of portkeys.’
‘Well, are you going to enlighten me anytime soon?’
‘And lose what promises to be a valuable source of entertainment? I think not.’ Dean responded.
‘I’ll tell you what I told that woman in the store, remember the hot one who slipped her phone number into my back pocket before slapping my bum on the way out...’
‘Deal’ and both Dean and Seamus shook his hands.
‘I lent in and whispered in her ear....’
Both leaned forward slightly in anticipation
‘My name’s Harry’
There was a brief pause, ‘that’s it? That’s all you said and you got a hot older woman to spank you?’ Seamus exclaimed in disbelief
‘What can I say, if you’ve got it, you’ve got it. Looks like these are a formidable weapon, it can’t be thought.’ Harry replied with a broad grin as he bent down to retrieve Monster’s carrier.
Harry glanced up at the silent Dean
‘Harry, I hate you and wish you were humped to death by a rabid house elf in drag’
All were silent for a moment as they processed this image
‘It’s always the quiet imaginative ones you have to watch out for isn’t it?’ Seamus said as both he and Harry looked at Dean with matching expressions, a mixture of nausea and wariness.
Harry finally managed to free Hedwig and Monster who both set to exploring the surrounding area.
‘Harry I think you’d better call Monster back, Grammy has a pet cerberus, Reginald, and he barely tolerates me, let alone another canine.’
‘You’ve nothing to worry about, Monster is quite exceptional’
They were interrupted by the appearance of a large cerberus racing towards Monster who on spotting it yipped his admittedly cute battle cry, and flung himself towards the monstrous dog. Both Dean and Seamus had drawn their wands, preparing to rescue the small krup, but Harry held them back.
‘They’re going to meet at some point, it might as well be now.’
Their sceptical looks were soon wiped off their faces as they watched in awe as Monster thoroughly showed the cerberus why exactly size doesn’t matter.
‘Monster is....’ Dean trailed off as he turned to a proud looking Harry
‘Yes, he is quite the angry little krup. I think he has the canine version of small man syndrome and fights dirty enough to back it up. Within a day of my bringing him back to Surrey he had every animal in Little Whining, and quite a few small children, either terrified of him or fanatically loyal to him. You have not lived until you’ve seen a gang of nine year olds looking to a krup for leadership.’ Harry replied not taking his eyes off the fight.
Dean blinked and returned to watching Monster and Reginald, wincing as the krup bit the cerberus where no male should ever be bitten, who knew all three heads could squeal in harmony. That was the end of the fight as Reginald, as soon as he was released, fled behind the house, two of the heads turned to watch Monster

Monster trotted back to Harry, his tails waving jauntily, and leapt into the boys arms.
‘I am very proud of you, but please refrain from licking me until I’ve cast a few cleaning charms on your mouth’ Harry said as he dodged a lick aimed at his face.

Hedwig landed on his shoulder and hooted softly in approval having scouted the area and deemed it acceptable. Along with Monster she had seemed to have taken on the role of bodyguard and had become fiercely protective as the predatory manner in which she was eying Dean and Seamus showed. After a few tense seconds she seemed to have deemed them acceptable and self-importantly ruffled her feathers. Monster seemed to be approaching his self appointed bodyguard duties from a different angle, instead of threatening he just did something incredibly vicious in front of people and dared them to approach him afterwards. It worked well for him as indicated by the looks on Dean and Seamus’ faces.

Seamus opened the front door and beckoned the two inside, at first glance the inside of the house along with the outside seemed completely non-magical but looking closer Harry noticed a few magical items, such as the bag of floo powder on the mantelpiece and a few of the more tame magical plants dotted around the house.

‘Dad is probably in the yard putting some of the horses in the stables but mum and Grammy are around somewhere, I’ll just show you where you’re staying. You’re in your usual room Dean beside mine, and Harry is on the other side. The downstairs is mostly muggle and we have a guest room down there for non-magical people but the upstairs is magical so there’s plenty of room.’ Seamus explained as he led them upstairs to their rooms.

The top floor was clearly expanded and the guest room Harry was staying in was obviously magical from the magical painting with a herd of horses grazing and occasionally trotting around, to the magical clock with times like ‘dinner time’ and ‘you’re late’.
He was interrupted from his observations by a woman’s voice calling Seamus downstairs and the three headed down. Seated in the sitting room below was an old woman who was clearly the much beloved Grammy.

Grammy was dressed in beautifully cut, at least as far as he could tell, blue robes and would have struck a stately figure if not for the large pipe she was smoking which was emitting puffs of scentless bright pink smoke. Her eyes were shrewd in her wrinkled face and she observed both Dean and Harry closely making Dean shift from foot to foot uncomfortably, but Harry was used to Dumbledore’s penetrating looks and so was relatively un phased.

‘So you’re the best friend, muggle born aren’t you? Doesn’t matter, you look like you’ve a head on your shoulders. I hear you’re an artist, clever boy, girls go wild for the arty type, some boys too. You’re handsome also, I’ll bet that helps get the ladies. Dating anyone? No? Never mind. You can come sit beside me, I like handsome young men.’
Dean stood there for a moment looking absolutely gobsmacked until Harry gently nudged him in the direction of the old woman, which brought her attention once again to Harry. Seamus at this point had a wide grin on his face and seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.

‘And you’re the famous boy-who-lived. Also very handsome, I knew a grandson of mine would have good taste in friends. Somewhat pretty looking though, your features are a little delicate, not to worry your body more than makes up for it.’
It seemed she would continue in this vein for a while longer but the door was nudged open by Monster who trotted over to Harry and sat down in between him and the old woman, Hedwig flew in a few seconds later to land on his shoulder and both fixed their gazes on her.
She paused ‘If you think I’m going to be impressed by a little trick with your familiars you are much mistaken young man.’

‘Grammy I don’t think that was planned’. Seamus said interrupting his grandmother ‘His familiars are both freakishly smart and extremely vicious. Monster there took apart Reginald in a few minutes flat.’
The old woman’s face was amused and slightly incredulous until Monster gave his patented whiskery grin that exposed one of his canines, and her expression melted back into a calm facade but Harry thought he detected a hint of admiration.

‘Madam it is a great pleasure to meet you, ever since Seamus told us of his wonderful grandmother both Dean and I have been greatly anticipating out meeting with you’ Harry said with a small bow in her direction
She broke into a grin. ‘I see you’re quite the charmer and I do like that in a man. I think you and I shall get along well, boy-who-lived or not.’
Harry replied with a roguish grin while Dean’s slightly traumatised look hand been replaced by a smothered smile.
‘Madam if I might ask of favour of you later.’
‘I’ll have you know young man that my husband if alive and well.’

Seamus wore an expression of mingled admiration and envy, while Dean was shaking slightly with repressed laughter, you could almost see him thinking of this as blackmail material.
‘Alas, I shall have to ask another favour of you instead. Dumbledore in all his great wisdom has placed a good deal of tracking charms and the such like on me. I was hoping you might aid me in the removal of said spells, I have the incantations but think some of them may be a little beyond me’
‘Nothing would please me more than to thwart that vindictive, amoral old man’ she said, her eyes gaining a slightly feral edge.
Harry grinned again in reply and was interrupted by a gentle ringing.
‘Now, I’m sure you lot are hungry, all young men are. We decided to have a late dinner which is now ready. Come which of you gentlemen shall accompany me?’
Dean, having recovered from his laughing fit gallantly offered his arm. ‘Nothing would give me more pleasure madam.’
She chuckled, ‘You should invite your friends around more often dear, I foresee an interesting stay’ she said to Seamus as Dean swept her into the dining room.