Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice Wasn't Made For Only Girls

Chapter five

by DoNotBeAFreak 2 reviews

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres: Drama,Humor - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way - Published: 2008-04-02 - Updated: 2008-04-02 - 988 words

Gerard woke the next morning to the faint smell of bacon and eggs. The delicious aroma caused his mouth to water as he slipped into the bathroom for a nice long piss, yet there was something off about the muffled sound and smell of breakfast being made. Frank can’t cook worth shit. If it was Frank fixing breakfast, like Gerard had foolishly assumed at first, then the smoke detector would have awoken him, instead of the scrumptious smell of fried pork and unfertilized chicken embryos wafting through the crack under his bedroom door. Now with a heightened state of curiosity, Gerard tucked himself back into his panties and made his way to the swinging kitchen door as fast as his sleepy body would allow. The sight of Mikey, humming tunelessly and scraping greasy bacon onto a paper towel covered plate to cool, was a slight shock.

“Where’s Frank?”

Mikey turned and almost dropped the frying pan and spatula on his bare feet. “Gerard, put some fucking clothes on! Jesus Christ!” The sight before Mikey’s poor eyes was infinitely worse than the up-skirt view he received not but twenty-four hours beforehand. Gerard blushed as he backed out of the kitchen and ran to at least fetch his dressing gown.

Roughly ten minutes later Mikey and Gerard found themselves eating at the breakfast table in a slightly awkward silence, only broken by the occasional sound of cutlery scraping their plates or slurps taken from steaming coffee mugs. Gerard wasn’t really that embarrassed about letting his little brother see him in nothing but his panties. Somewhere buried deep in his closet are pictures of them as small boys, naked and romping through the stream of a sprinkler that their father had staked into the middle of their backyard. If he had practiced acts of inhibition in front of his dear, younger sibling before then why should he not now? It was clear that Mikey was uncomfortable with the sight Gerard’s near nudity, but he seemed to be getting over it quickly.

“Put your pinkie down.”


Mikey pointed to his coffee mug, then grasped it firmly, pinkie finger flush against the warm, heavy porcelain, and took a sip.

“Like that. That’s how men drink their coffee. Don’t be so dainty about it.”

Gerard frowned. “I wasn’t aware that you could drink coffee daintily.”

“Most people can’t, but you can.” Mikey couldn’t help it, he had to laugh. “I swear Gee, the way you use your hands sometimes…It looks like your waiting for the nail polish to dry.”

“Well sometimes I am,” Gerard replied, his frown turning into a sour scowl when Mikey began to laugh harder. “You never answered my question you know.”

“What question?”

“Where’s Frank?”

Mikey finished chewing a piece of bacon and swallowed. “Went to get groceries, ‘cause you guys have no bread, your milk has curdled, I’m currently eating the last egg, and there wasn’t enough grounds for Frank to have any coffee; the stuff we’re drinking right now is weak as shit.”

Gerard nodded his agreement over the weak coffee. “Is the don’t-do-dainty-shit-with-my-hands lesson the only thing you have planned?”

“No, there’s still the matter of you speech patterns.”

“Don’t tell me that there’s something wrong with my vernacular.”

“See there! Your vocabulary is ginormous. Dull it down a bit would ya.”

Gerard sighed and slouched in his seat. “Okay, I’ll talk like an idiot then.”

“That’s a good boy,” Mikey said with a smile as he gathered the dirty dishes and deposited them into the sink.


Mikey stayed at Frank and Gerard’s apartment for the rest of the day, observing and giving pointers on how to keep all the ‘girly’ at bay. It was going fairly well, and after Frank came home laden with the necessities and several different kinds of junk food that Gerard disapproved of, because it would go straight to his thighs, he helped Mikey instruct without much complaint.

The setting sun was shining pink and orange through the curtains by the time Frank and Mikey had taught Gerard all the rules of manhood that they could think of. In the end all Gerard had to do was to dress the part and make sure that he acted as slovenly as he could manage, without making a total fool out of himself or causing it to seem as though he was never taught any manners. It was just that simple, and yet just that hard.

“I think we’re finished,” Mikey stated with a yawn as he stretched out on the couch. “Fool them we will.”

“Why yes Yoda, I agree.”

Gerard smiled, snuggled into Frank’s side a bit closer, and kissed his cheek with a loud smack. “You guys have a lot of faith in me don’t you? I mean, who’s to say that I won’t fuck it up completely?”

Frank returned the kiss with a big goofy grin. “You’ll do fine baby; you’re the best actress I’ve even seen.”

Mikey chuckled. “I don’t know why, but that reminds me of your short stint as Peter Pan back in primary school.”

“Yeah, that was fun-I loved those green tights.”

“I bet you were hot in those tights Gee,” Frank whispered into Gerard’s ear as he let his hand wander up the thigh draped across his own legs.

“Oh come on,” Mikey said as he hoisted himself off the couch. “Will you two keep it in your pants until after I leave?”

Gerard giggled and tightened the grip he had on Frank’s waist. “But I’m not wearing pants.”

“I’m leaving now.”

“Okay, but come back tomorrow and bring Alicia with you,” Frank managed to say, before Mikey shut the door and Gerard started to take off his shirt.
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