FicWad

CHAPTER ONE: In Which The Engagement Is Announced, And Reverend Ashura Raises Cain

The large black Cadillac pulled to a stop in front of the Victorian house, the one with the wraparound porch and bare oak tree so common in that part of the neighborhood. The driver's side window rolled down to reveal a scowling face framed by spiky black hair, his eyes aimed at the innocent-looking house.

Kurogane Brewster always loved his aunts, even if they were at times off their rockers, but today was different. Today was the day he'd tell them he was engaged - to another man. And it wasn't their response he was worried about, but the middle-aged Methodist preacher next door - the preacher who happened to be his fiance's father.

He saw an angular face with hooded lids peek out of the front window, stick out her tongue, then disappear behind the chiffon curtains. Kurogane sighed - his surprise was spoiled already, courtesy of Aunt Yuuko's habit of being the neighborhood peeper. It didn't help that she wasn't one for manners, and by now any and all occupants of the Brewster home knew that Kurogane was coming.

Walking away from the car, he approached the house and saw another face peer through the same window - this one gentler, framed by flowing black hair. Aunt Tomoyo waved, then disappeared with a serene smile on her face. She was Kurogane's favorite of the two, even if her quiet nature and complete honesty unnerved him at times.

Kurogane spared a quick glance at the neighboring house, where his fiance, Fai, was currently breaking the news to his father, Reverend Ashura Harper. Seeing the familiar white siding past the old graveyard that separated the two houses made the man wonder if it wasn't too late to steal Fai away for a wedding in Vegas, complete with free booze and the standard overweight Elvis impersonator. Still, it would be wrong to take away from his aunts a chance to perform their first homosexual wedding services, what with both of them being registered non-practicing ministers (blame the Internet, if you must, and their natural curiosity about how the whole 'priest thing' works). God only knew if Ashura would even consider being at the wedding at all, or if he'd bring it to a screeching halt ahead of time by committing homicide and giving a picture of Kurogane's dead mug to thegossip rags.

He stepped through the home's threshold and was instantly assailed by the arms of Aunt Tomoyo. Yuuko was content to sit in her high-backed rocking chair and watch the two from afar.

After they exchanged their formal greetings - asking about the weather, the state of Kurogane's car, et cetera, they all sat in the parlor, where Tomoyo served green tea in ceramic cups with the seal of Clow embossed on them in gold ("A wedding gift I found in the attic," Yuuko explained, though she didn't say who from). Kurogane sipped his tea a little too loudly and ignored the smirk on Yuuko's face.

Tomoyo, oblivious to this exchange, smiled and looked over at Kurogane. "Dear nephew, your visit is quite unexpected. What brings you to the Brewster household today?"

Kurogane cleared his throat. He straightened his tie and shifted around in his ill-fitting black suit. He looked at Tomoyo, then at Yuuko (still smirking, albeit curiously), then back at Tomoyo. He opened his mouth -

The front door slammed open, then shut again, and a burst of cold air followed a middle-aged man into the parlor. His long black hair was pulled into a ponytail and was bouncing around as he positioned himself in the center of the room. With a monstrous look on his face, he pointed at Kurogane as if they were actors on a stage in some kind of melodramatic drama.

"Kurogane Brewster!" The voice of Reverend Ashura Harper practically shook the room. "You dare ask my beloved son's hand in marriage, you charlatan! You wicked abomination against God! I'll have your head for this-"

"Reverend Harper," Yuuko said calmly. She threaded her hands together and rested her bony chin upon them as she spoke. "What a lovely surprise."

"Oh, yes, Reverend, how nice of you to stop by," Tomoyo continued, aware of the problem but not wishing to agitate it any further.

Ashura blinked, then looked around. He lowered his arm sheepishly, then doffed the small black hat resting upon his head. "The Brewster aunties two . . . My apologies, I didn't not see you."

"Of course not," Yuuko said. That insufferable smirk returned to her face in full force. "You were too busy yelling at our poor nephew." He looked over at Kurogane, who was silently seething at this intrusion.

Tomoyo looked at Ashura, then at Kurogane, and smiled. "Does this mean . . . that our lovely nephew Kurogane is to be wed?"

"Yes!"

"No!"

Kurogane glared at his future father-in-law, who dutifully glared back. Tomoyo exclaimed her disbelief at the whole situation whilst fanning herself with one of her penny dreadfuls (something about two gentlemen working at a haunted pharmacy). Yuuko kept on smirking, obviously having a good ol' time.

This rather tense stalemate was broken by the center of this whole maelstrom - and to add to the ridiculousness of it all, he came in through the parlor window, resting his skinny little bottom on the window seat that faced the front lawn. Dressed in his Sunday best (a white suit with a blue vest and sparkly loafers), Fai Harper looked at the scene around him with a goofy grin on his face. His gaze rested on Kurogane's face, which turned a light shade of scarlet.

"Oh, Kuro-dashi, what have you gotten yourself into this time?" He wagged his finger playfully. "That's no behavior for a future husband, y'know. What will the kids think?" Kurogane winced, but said nothing about the mangling of his name - he had learned a long time ago that it was a quirk better left undisturbed.

It couldn't be humanly possible for Ashura to go any crazier, but he once again defied expectations. "My son! Children? With this - this /movie critic/?" he sputtered.

Kurogane rose half-way out of his seat. "I'll have you know the official title is 'artistic critic', and I get pretty good pay considering the crap they make me watch - err, sorry Aunt Tomoyo."

Tomoyo smiled and waved the offending word away. Yuuko, who Kurogane knew was used to such language, just shrugged.

"More like 'smut peddler'!" Ashura shouted, loud enough to sway the tiny crystals of the chandelier overhead. "You know, back in my day---"

Fai cut off the other Harper's rant by standing up, stretching his arms above his head, then proceeding to usher his belligerent father out of the room. "We'll be at our house for a minute and by the time I come back, Kuro-pon, it'll all be sorted out!" he assured his husband-to-be, patting the irritated man on the head as he passed by with his fuming human cargo.

Ashura sputtered and raged, but could not halt his son pushing him out of the parlor. They heard the front door open and close, and the room buzzed with the silence of a juicy secret having been revealed.

Tomoyo broke the silence. "Anyone in the mood for flan?"