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CHAPTER TWO: In Which Watanuki Goes A-Digging and the First Body is Found

Evening rolled around, and the group of three in the parlor were quietly finishing their flan. Kurogane kept sneaking peeks out of the window to see if Fai was coming back, and ignored the sly looks from Aunt Yuuko. The serene Aunt Tomoyo kept on smiling, knowing full well about the concern over Kurogane's fiance, evident in his jumpy behavior.

Kurogane found himself lost in thought. His whole day seemed to be falling into shambles. First Reverend Ashura, thundering in and almost knocking his head off, ruining his engagement announcement. Good Lord, what would happen next? Yuuko and Tomoyo, his darling aunties, as ministers to a gay wedding. Who would the best man be, he wondered idly. Maybe Wata --- hey, Watanuki!

The ninja snapped out of his self-indulgent thought process in such a way that two sets of eyes were soon firmly trained on him, waiting for him to speak. "Err---um, how's good ol' Watanuki, anyhow? I mean, as good as he can be?"

Yuuko and Tomoyo exchanged glances - something that did not go unnoticed by Kurogane's hawkish watch.

"Well, you know how Watanuki is these days," Tomoyo said, measuring out each word as if reciting a tricky recipe. "Always charging around, blowing his bugle at all times of the day, digging the canal in the basement . . ."

"No thanks to that book your step-cousin sent over," Yuuko said tonelessly (she had obviously told this story before). "Typical Benjamin Gates-Brewster, sending a book about President Roosevelt." She grumbled into the glass of whiskey her pork bun of a butler had sent in. "If I see another damn safari hat before I die, it'll be too soon."

Tomoyo waved away Yuuko's words and continued. "Well, there was that horrible incident with the vase as well. Always mooning after sweet Himawari, playing taps for her and the like . . . and he gets a vase on the noggin. Scrambled him into disrepair, I'm afraid." She made a sympathetic tsk-tsk, which earned her a quick snort and a smirk from the heavy-lidded sister. "Well, me and Yuuko, we've decided it would be best if we sent poor, sweet Watanuki somewhere where he can be taken care of properly. It's a lovely little place called Happy Doki Doki Sanitarium. It's not too far from here, so we could visit him whenever we want. Doesn't that sound lovely, Kurogane?"

Kurogane cleared his throat. "Well, I guess . . . Err, if that's what you want, Aunt Tomoyo."

She smiled and nodded. "Yes, he'll be going away early next month. We couldn't bear to part with him too soon, not if he'd miss your marriage!"

He groaned. "I don't think Watanuki could behave himself at a wedding. Especially with that damn bugle!" He grimaced. "He used to blow it into my doorway on Saturday mornings to wake me up for the weekend cabinet meetings, but we'd end up watching Mazinger Z together in the living room."

"I always thought that was cute," Yuuko mused. Kurogane glowered as he continued. "Anyhow, I have enough crazy in my soon-to-be married life with Fai. What are the chances that Watanuki will mistake the wedding for a congressional hearing?"

Kurogane was about to go on about how Watanuki's presence would upset Ashura and probably start a fight (which Yuuko would undoubtedly capture on videotape) when from the upstairs came the familiar sound of a loud, shrill call - like a well-tuned bugle. Bugle?

Yuuko smiled, still the crafty witch of her days. "Speak of the devil," she declared, "It must be 'good ol' Watanuki', am I right?" The ninja gave his aunts a half-hearted chuckle before bolting out of the room and into the sitting room - only to meet his brother at the foot of the stairs.

Watanuki Brewster, with his safari hat angled at a jaunty position and in his good suit, looked ever the Japanese Roosevelt. He lacked a smart moustache, but his glasses-bow tie combo more than made up for it. At the moment, he had his typical crazy grin on his face - the same smile once reserved for the likes of Himawari. And, of course, in one of his hands was the infamous golden bugle.

"Good morning, older brother!" Watanuki said cheerfully. Kurogane returned the greeting, despite all evidence pointing to it being midday.

"Err, have you heard---" Kurogane's attempt at notifying his brother of his engagement was cut off by the entrance of Aunt Tomoyo holding a rust-covered shovel, her hands protected from the dirt by her frayed gardening gloves.

"Yippee! It's time to dig another lock for the canal!" Watanuki took the shovel from Tomoyo's hands with and flourished it around a bit before returning it to his side, where it trembled as he spoke. "Yep, goin' down to Panama this instant - another yellow fever, can you believe it?" He gave Kurogane a sly wink.

"Don't forget, Mr President, you'll be handing over the navy to two nice gentlemen from the Army today," Tomoyo said gently. Watanuki nodded solemnly, looking as if he'd just been assigned a very important job of national security.

"Very well, Madame Secretary --- but for now, I must work on the locks. Fever victims don't bury themselves, you know!" He tsk-ed softly. "And what would First Lady Himawari think if she knew I was slacking on the job? Well, ta!" And so 'President' Watanuki Brewster, with his bugle tucked under his left arm and his shovel slung over his right shoulder, did a quick salute before marching off down the stairs that led to the basement, aka 'Panama', leaving behind him a content Tomoyo and a somewhat frazzled Kurogane.

Kurogane was on the cusp of asking about Watanuki's mention of Himawari and the ships, but he was once again cut off, this time by Aunt Yuuko. She spoke from the doorway between the sitting room and the kitchen, and she rolled a teacup around in her hand lazily as if to accentuate her words.

"Now now, little nephew, don't worry about Watanuki," she said, as if partially reading his mind - or probably just his very telling facial expressions. "Oh, Tomoyo, we must get to preparing dinner for our beloved Kurogane and his future husband, correct?"

Tomoyo smiled and nodded. "Yes, of course. Make yourself comfortable Kurogane . . . we'll be right back!" Clutching her skirts, she hurried off with Yuko into the kitchen, all the while giggling quietly like a schoolgirl with a secret.

Kurogane did what he did best in these situations - brooded. Well, broodingly thought is more like it. With Watanuki in his own little happy place, both aunts in the kitchen, and not a Fai Harper to be seen, he went into the parlor and began pacing back and forth, turning over the recent events in his mind like a detective with a set of clues, or a chef with a cache of ingredients, or --- well, you get the picture, he was /thinking/.

He thought about his upcoming wedding to Fai Harper. God, that would be a crazy day. His aunts performing the service, Watanuki playing a song on his bugle, Reverend Ashura glaring discretely at him from the pews. And he'd make his vows to Fai under the lit chandelier, looking at his husband's face through a flimsy white veil - to match the long-skirted dress (yes, Fai insisted on wearing a dress - it wasn't so much tradition as an excuse to look more effeminate than usual. Oh, and he liked the feel of the skirt on his bare legs).

He thought of all his firsts with Fai. Their first meeting was outside his newspaper's building on a rainy Monday morning under Fai's generously offered umbrella. Their first date was on New Year's Eve, where they drunkenly danced under the light of the Times Square Ball, Fai giggling at Kurogane's clumsy footwork. Their first kiss was during the premiere screening of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. As Cho kissed Harry on screen, Fai leaned over and covered Kurogane's mouth with his own. The first time they made love was --- Wait.

Kurogane frowned. He had yet to de-virgin Fai! Kurogane had been a bit of a player in his college days, but he had sworn off women after the last one - a sly looking redhead who he later found out was a prostitute - had taken all the money out of his wallet while he was sleeping and ran off, never to be seen again. But, this time - it would be different. He may not verbalize his emotions as much as he should, but Kurogane was hopelessly head-over-heels in love with Fai Harper. If Fai was hurt or sick or inconvenienced in anyway, Kurogane would run to his side and growl at anyone who tried to help his boyfriend.

He wondered over to the window and peered out. No sign of Fai in the neighboring house, or Ashura for that matter. He scowled and sat on the window seat, crossed his arms and stayed still for a good seven seconds. Staying still for so long (long for him at least) got on his nerves, so he got up and began rustling the curtains out of boredom. They did nothing for him, so he decided to have a look into the window seat itself and see what the hell Watanuki was stashing there this time. When they were growing up together, Watanuki would keep wooden soldiers in the seat - his reserve army. Kurogane chuckled at the memories as the seat creaked open.

Kurogane looked into the face of a dead man, Asian with short spiky fair and a half-scowl on his face, with the initials 'T.K'. on his shirt.

A body. A dead body. In the window seat. Around him, the room seemed to be spinning, the air much more thick and cloying that usual. Kurogane let out a sudden string of curses as he slammed the cover down on the poor dead man.

What to do? Kurogane's mind raced in circles, as did he around the parlor floor, bumping into things along the way but not caring a good god damn because there was a body in the window seat and it's all Watanuki's fault! His own thoughts took him by surprise for a second, but then things fell into place. Of course he had to be put away in that sanitarium! He was a menace, a threat to society. Right?

Kurogane's brow furrowed as he found himself once again facing the window seat. Right then and there he resolved to tell his aunts about Watanuki's act of murder. They had to put him away now - not later, or after the wedding but /now/, before he hurt someone else.

There was a knock at the door. The ninja made a growling noise out of frustration and flailed his arms a bit before returning to form. Who could be calling on the Brewster house now? Surely not Fai - or, at least, he hoped it wasn't Fai. He had no plans on his boyfriend finding out his future brother-in-law had killed a man. Still, if no one answered the door - well, that would seem very suspicious.

"I'll get it!" he called out. Damn, he thought. Warning his aunts would have to come later. Wondering idly if Yuuko already knew, being a seer and all, Kurogane crossed from the parlor to the sitting room to the front door. He cautiously peered through the door's peep hole, expecting Fai or Ashura or anyone except who he actually saw.

Two young dark-haired men - twins by the looks of it - in police uniforms. One whistled to himself as the other chatted idly of some play he was writing, and their oddly pointed teeth gleamed in the mid-afternoon light.

Police? With a body in the house? Kurogane made a pitiful sound in the back of his throat. He was temped to exclaim "Could this day possibly get any worse?" but didn't. Knowing his luck, there was worse yet to come.