FicWad

Harry opened his eyes. He stretched, yawning lightly as he scratched his head. He went to lick the back of his palm when he realized he wasn't a Jaguar. Oh right, I sleep differently now. He blindly felt the space to his left, confused when he was confronted with cold hard soil were soft milky breasts should have been. lets see, I was sitting in my throne room, the queen came in and- OH SHIT!

Harry frantically patted himself down, expecting to sink his fingers into deep ugly gashes, only to come across nothing but smooth skin. The fuck?. He looked down at himself, his body looked exactly like it had before the sacrifice, no wounds, no paint. He put his right hand to the left side of his chest, only to feel his bored heart beating away its sorrows. He looked around himself, trying to see some sort of landmark he'd remember in this godforsaken island, but he only found the same trees and bushes that could be found in any other indescript spot.

"Maybe I'm dead" he thought out loud, it wouldn't surprise him, after all he'd gone through that two of his biggest vices (women and runes) would come back to bite him in the ass.

He though back to the ritual, now that he wasn't being the sacrificial lamb he could view it objectively. It had been nasty, sure, but standard fare for these secluded magical communities, he had witnessed worse stuff (The Chinese had one that involved the exchange of vital organs with a spork and much bathing in bodily fluids). What concerned him was the glimpse of the rune he had seen, it was a very common one in this region of the world. The Uicu rune was a very versatile little ditty which dealt with matters of the soul, mostly converting it into something magically tangible so that it can be affected by physical means. An older, more rustic version of this rune is involved in the horcrux creation process.

What that rune meant as part of a human sacrifice was that his soul was converted into something as physical, at least to magical stimulation, as skin and bones, meaning that right now his soul should have either been feasted upon by the great Amazonian gods, or become one with magic, its particles being spread across the earth, being called upon by magic to join other unused particles when a wizard needed to conjure a nice pair of pink panties.

Basically, right now he should by all means be non-existent. He doubted this was the afterlife, as his afterlife would include more loose women and useless semantics arguments on the differences between the black arts and the dark arts, and less shitty death forest.

He decided that he’d get the fuck out of this island before further contemplating the improbability of his existence . Of course remembering that he was completely naked and didn't have a wand, he figured that he'd have to get ready to swim (this area, similar to the Bermuda triangle, seemed to have some freaky ambient magic, one of its side effects being very limited apparition range). He changed into Jaguar form and silently but swiftly strode towards were he heard and smelled the beach to be. He took to the tree tops, hoping to not get noticed by any of the amazons, he didn't offer a second look to all the quirkily colored birds monkeys that screeched at his approach Oh yeah that sure won't call the Amazon's attention he thought as he decided to take his march to lower ground.

He reached the beach! His planned celebration dance was cut short as he saw something approaching. It was extremely close, too close, so he tried dulling his enhanced vision. Seconds later he saw that the unidentified object was maybe five minutes away from the island. taking to the shadows of the trees closest to the sand and re-enhancing his vision he saw to his shock a wooden raft, moving at such speed that magic had to be involved. The raft wasn't similar to the one he made when reaching the island, it was an exact replica. Thinking he might have been thrown back in time and was going to meet himself, he focused his vision to get as close a look as he could on the rapidly moving raft.

Inside sat, cross legged, an average sized man, tanned skin a slightly darker shade than Harry's, full black beard making him look slightly wild. He had a button-less black shirt without any pockets, long and well cared for Dockers and very elaborate dress shoes. Whilst his shoes and pants looked very formal, the plain shirt and unkempt beard made him look like a vagabond.

In minutes the man reached shore, Harry noticed that there were many - things- crawling around his beard. He took a few steps towards the forest and Harry, seeing the wand stashed loosely on his waist, immediately pounced.

The man saw him and elegantly sidestepped. Harry landed and turned faster than the eye could see, his feet ready to spring him towards the stocky stranger. Looking into his eyes, Harry was surprised to see joy in them.

“Oh, hello my dear friend” He said in a jolly voice

“poor fellow, you must be hungry, what with the pouncing on me and all” He had a large grin, the movement of his mouth causing the many creatures in his beard to scurry around.

“What if we make a deal, I’ll give you some healthy organic food and you bond yourself to me, like all my other animal friends” as he said this there was a sudden shifting behind him and out popped a variety of animals, different colored and sized fish raising their heads above the water. Most of these animals could be found in the Amazon, but Harry noticed in the large gathering (that for some reason seemed to fit into only a few feet land) many beasts not from this part of the world, particularly an Elk and a Lioness that was giving him a very peculiar wink (weird, when he toured Africa a lioness spotted him in Jaguar form and he had to promptly turn into human form and apparate away before being viciously killed). The creatures on his beard he noticed, to his disgust, were bugs, very ugly and sinister looking bugs. All of them, fish, predators, herbivores, birds et al had one thing in common, one very creepy thing in common, they had wide smiles and blank eyes, even those without eyes or mouths seemed to transmit this look.

“Here kitty kitty” He said good naturedly. There wasn’t a sign of malice in his voice, which made it all the more scary.

“It’ll only hurt a lot for a few months, and then we’ll ALL be closer to sister earth and mother and father magic. We’ll all be one big happy family” He had his wand in his hand in seconds, Harry being mesmerized into a stupor by the mans tone of voice. Once he saw the wand though he was brought back to speed, jumping high into the air to avoid a jet of red magic.

Harry turned into human form and, with the small amount of wandless magic he could command, pushed the man away towards the tree. The shocked man was swept off his feet and would have surely gotten an ugly tree shaped bruise on the back of his head had he not turned mid air, landing on the tree with his feet parallel to the ground. He stood there, defying gravity, for a few seconds before he was forced to roll forward, ending up kneeling on one leg.

“You’re not an animal friend!” He shouted accusingly “Mama magic told me about you, You’re the devil, disguised as good to seduce the rightcheous man away from his journey, but you wont take me EVIL DEMON!”

As he said this, he thrust his wand forward, causing the many animals which had disappeared into the unknown once again burst out of thin air, all charging at him at once.

Harry didn’t need any more incentive to leave the island, and quickly ran to the boat, disconcerted when many of the fish- most notably the FUCKING CANDIRU- snapped at him, trying to sink the thankfully sturdy boat.

It wasn’t long before the arrows started to fly, and Harry saw as the amazons entered the melee. He took advantage of the bearded fuck’s slight distraction and, using the limits of his wandless magic, pulled the mans wand towards himself. Catching it in the air, he didn’t allow any sort of moment of triumph as the wand accepted him (grateful, it seemed to be) before he cast the propulsion charm, sending him back to the rivers mouth with a burst of speed. He took enjoyment in blasting away any of the fish stupid enough to mess with him, and very soon there was a trail of fried fish leading across half a mile.

As Harry jumped off the raft and kissed the ground on one side of the rivers mouth, he didn’t know that he had just exited the frying pan and there was a very nice and inviting fire just waiting for him to jump in.

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“Jump in, the lavas fine!”

Harry Sighed as he heard those words, the people of this village were your standard tribe, though they had on peculiarity.

The people around here were seen as savages by the rest of the world, just like the Africans, superstitious troglodytes who had a backward view of the world. This was kinda true, but for the most part they were more sophisticated than most other magical or muggle societies, more in tune to magic and nature than other more advanced societies.

Of course, all those good things didn’t stop them from doing stupid bullshit like jumping into volcanoes like they were public swimming pools. A complicated piece of priestly magic made it possible for the indigenous people of Costa Rica to frolic in the fiery pits of the Arenal Volcano , and activity said to bring forth spiritual cleansing and great fortitude of the mind.

This had Harry worried though. The grand occasion took place once every twenty years, Harry had been able to join in before, months before the sacrifice incident.

He had decided that he’d either been thrown back or forward in time shortly before arriving, something’s that were supposed to be there weren’t. When he reached the north-western part of Costa Rica he had expected some sort of confirmation either way (the costa Rican people were some of the few he had bothered to remember the names and appearances of). What he found left him more confused, Otuke, the soon to be leader of the tribe, was indeed a young boy, but when Harry asked for his brother Warionex, he found after many solemn looks and angry glares that he had been killed by a rather vicious pack of Nifflers, attracted to his shiny medallion.

It was with this information that Harry Potter knew he had done a lateral, traveling not only across time, but across worlds.
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The knowledge had driven Harry into a frenzy, he quickly traveled upwards, to the United States. In his travels he tried to gather as much information as he could on the current state of the English Isles, breaking custom and sticking to the more formal wizarding governments in each country.

He could only pick up tidbits of information, they obviously reciprocated the English Wizarding worlds ‘I don’t give a fuck about you” policy. What he could piece together was that Voldemort was out and about, Dumbledore was headmaster and Donald Chumsworth of the department of magical cooperation had paid a few hookers on his last swing by.

He reached the U.S., not bothering to stay long in this wasteland of magical study as he reached Fortworth, Texas. Sneaking into a muggle airplane with surprising difficulty (magic and electronics made for a kooky experience, not helped by the fact that he had never been to an airport, the Dursleys leaving him with Mrs. Figg on their one and only flight) and taking the 7:45 (9:33) to London, with a stop in New York.
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The name Otuke was taken from Ramón Emeterio Betance’s book “Los dos indios”. Warionex was a Puerto Rican Cacique.

This was a transitional chapter, next chapter should be longer and get into the real story.
Hopefully I’ll update in a few days, depending on my workload (last week was very heavy).