Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Accidental Harem

Year 1 Part 4

by BrianJ 3 reviews

A night on the town for three- Harry, his chaperone, and his anxieties.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Humor,Romance - Characters: Harry,Hermione,Mandy Brocklehurst,Sibyll Trelawney - Warnings: [!!] [X] [?] [Y] - Published: 2008-04-14 - Updated: 2008-04-15 - 2179 words

Disclaimer: Nothing ventured, nothing gained, nothing owned by the
author, nothing to see here...



(You should not have been able to hear that...)

Miss Tonks was Hufflepuff's seventh-year prefect. Like every girl in
the Wizarding World, she had heard about the Boy Who Lived, and like
most, she had been anxious to see him when she had heard that he was
coming to Hogwarts that year. Ted and Andromeda had told her that
her uncle Sirius had been his godfather, and that they had a closer
connection to Harry than most. That Sirius was in Azkaban serving a
life sentence for multiple murders didn't dissuade her much; she was
sure that he was innocent. When she saw Harry, she recognized him

The announcement of House Harem was... disconcerting. Sure, he was
famous and a good-looking boy, but who has a harem at eleven? After
the Sorting, she had only seen him a handful of times- other than
the Quidditch games. She'd been as shocked as anyone at the results,
but she still felt a tinge of pride at being connected to someone who
could give the Slytherins the humiliation they so richly deserved and
that Hufflepuff had so often failed to deliver.

So when Professor Trelawney asked her to stay after the Divination
lesson because she wanted to talk to her about Harry, she agreed to
listen. Divination had become much more enjoyable over the last
couple of months. Professor Trelawney seemed much more friendly than
before, and was predicting death 80% less often than in previous
years. She didn't exactly need Divination, but it seemed the most
suitable of the electives available.

"What can I do for you, Professor?"

"Miss Tonks, we have a... scheduling problem, you might say, with our
Quidditch team. We need to get some supplies, but neither of us
Professors can get away for an evening, and none of our students can
leave Hogwarts on their own. Would you be willing to escort Harry to
Diagon Alley?"

"Why should I help your Quidditch team? We play you at the end of
the season, so why would I want you to get better?"

"I know about your family's connection to Harry. I really believe
that you want to do what is best for him. I saw the way you looked
at him after the Slytherin game, and I think you really would like to
know more about him."

"Keep talking."

"...and I know you'd like to keep Hufflepuff in the lead for the
House Cup."

It was true. The Badgers' House had a narrow lead over Ravenclaw at the
start of December, with the orange-and-black onyxes in House Harem's
hourglass an uncomfortably close third.


In exchange for fifty points, an allowance for spending money, and a
recommendation for her application to the Auror Corps, Tonks agreed
to take Harry to Diagon on the next Friday evening.

Getting ready for an outing is a bit more involved for a
metamorphmagus; it gives an entirely new meaning to "putting on your
face." Also, what... figure should she employ? Should she try to
hide her female attributes, or should she just be herself (so to
speak)? To try to settle her mind, she asked a first-year
for her opinion of Harry. When Miss Abbott responded that "Harry
helped me with Dark Arts homework last week and he seemed like a nice
guy," and gave Tonks a blank stare when she delicately asked if he...
touched her, Tonks decided to use the body that God and Andromeda
gave her.


And thus, we arrive at the scene we saw earlier, with Tonks knocking
on House Harem's door and being shown in by Professer Sinistra to see

Harry was summoned from his room to see a tall, beautiful girl in her
school uniform. A yellow and black prefect badge gleamed on the right
side of her chest, just at Harry's eye level. Harry had trouble
taking his eyes off of that shiny badge for a minute... at least,
that's what he told himself.

He introduced himself and briefly told her of the exact errands that
he had discussed with the Professors- to find out how much money he
had available, to buy brooms for the House team if his funds
permitted, and to enjoy himself on an evening away from school. "It
would be a shame," he said, "to get away from the school with a
beatiful woman and do nothing but look at money and brooms. I've
heard about Sirius, and I'd like to get to know his family. Weren't
your eyes blue a minute ago?"

It was true- Tonks' natural blue eyes were now the same color as
Harry's, and her brown hair had gone remarkably pink. (Her badge
stuck out an inch or so further than before; Tonks was glad that
Harry had not apparently noticed that.) Tonks explained about her
metamorphing abilities, and Harry said "that they must be fun at
parties." She said that they were indeed enjoyable there, and in
other places.

At that point, Professor Sinistra loudly cleared her throat before
further double entendres could fly.


Traveling to Diagon Alley was simple. Walk to the edge of the wards,
hail the Knight Bus- Harry was impressed until Tonks told hm just
how easy it was- and take a seat while the bus headed on its
zigzagging way. Since it was well after sundown, the seats had been
replaced with beds; to "save money," Tonks said, they decided to
share one since the king-sized beds were quite large enough to
accommodate them both without their touching.

While the bus blipped around the island of Britain, Tonks told Harry
what she could remember of Sirius, who had been gone for ten years.
She told him about the lack of evidence that connected him to the
murders of which he had been accused, and the lack of a public
trial. She told him about her parents (Harry noticeably teared up,
since he had nothing to compare her experience to), and about her
terrible aunts Narcissa the Stepford wife and Bellatrix the (real)

In return, Harry told her about his life with the Dursleys, calming
her down when her hair and eyes started to turn red (seeing red is
another saying that gets rather literal around metamorphmagi). He
told her about the Grangers, the school nurse, and the other adults
who had helped him become a healthier and better-adjusted boy. He
told her about the friends he had made and the connection that led to
their forming House Harem.

Just then, the Knight Bus took a worse-than-usual lurch. Tonks went
sprawling across the bed, landing directly on top of Harry, their
faces just inches apart.

"That sounds wonderful," she whispered. "I hope I find that kind of
connection some day."

"I'm sure you will, Tonks. And he'll be a wonderful guy, I just know

Meanwhile, her... lower regions were informing her that Harry wasn't
bad for his age.

After she climbed off of Harry, they talked more quietly about the
job she was hoping for with the Auror Corps. Tonks argued that she
saw the Aurors as a way toward clearing Sirius, making her family
proud, and paying back the people who had ruined the Black family
name. Harry really didn't know how to respond- he'd been
mistreated, but that seemed like nothing compared to what she'd been

At that point, a second jerk sent Tonks tumbling on top of Harry
again. That bump didn't seem nearly so bad, thought Harry...

Tonks amended her previous assessment- he wasn't bad for any age.


Once they arrived at Gringott's, Harry asked to see Griphook again.
He was told that his shift had ended and that he'd gone home.
Another goblin named Cragbite was available to help take him to his

Once they had arrived at his vault, Harry asked the goblin for an
estimate of how much it contained. Cragbite obligingly whispered in
his ear. Harry sat stunned for a minute- he was good with math, but
not yet very good with wizarding money. He had to ask Tonks whether
a million Galleons was a lot of money, and was a bit concerned when
she didn't answer.

"Tonks? Tonks? Nympha..."

"Don't... oh, yes, Harry. A million Galleons is quite a bit of
money. More than enough to buy your brooms, and brooms for anyone
else you want. And probably every other witch in Britain." She
wasn't going to ask for one, really she wasn't...

Fortunately for Tonks' willpower, Harry noticed two strong-looking
doors at the back of the vault. One was securely locked, but one was
open. "Cragbite, what are those doors?"

"Those doors were designed to open when two conditions of your
inheritance were fulfilled- when you reached the age of majority and
when you married. Apparently, you've done one of those things."

"What is the age of majority in Wizarding Britain?"


"Then that's about right. Can I look through that door?"

"It's your vault."

Harry and Tonks walked through the piles of coins to the open door
and peered through, with the aid of a Lumos spell.

Through the door, Harry and Tonks saw piles that made the first
vault's contents look tiny, along with several magical artifacts
Harry couldn't identify. One table seemed to be literally making
money- Galleons were actually extruding bronze Knuts.

"Ah, it's time for the interest payment. We usually arrange for
those on Friday evenings when traffic is slow." Cragbite had caught
up to the two of them.


Once they had returned to the lobby, Harry arranged for a bottomless
sack of money connected to his vault, along with magical drafts on
his account that would be more convenient than shoveling money out
for hours. They required his signature, a tap of his wand, and a
drop of blood for large transactions. Tonks didn't say anything
during this process until they were back in the quiet Alley.

"My God, Harry. You're... rich!" Admittedly, this wasn't the most
original thought, but Tonks was still recovering from the sight of
all that cash.

"Apparently. But what good is my money if I can't do what I want to
do with it? We've got some brooms to buy. Come on!"

Still a boy at heart, Tonks thought to herself, watching Harry speed
toward Quality Quidditch Supplies. Heck, still a boy. Be still my
beating heart- and other organs.

Harry's approach was seemingly very simple- buy seven of whatever
the best broom is. On further reflection, he decided to change that

"Nine of your best broom, please. Is that the Nimbus 2000? Then
nine of those, please."

"Why nine, Harry? Tonks said, just pulling up to Harry.

"Seven for the Harem team, one for Professor Sinistra, and one for
you. I know you'd probably rather spend your Friday night doing
something else rather than escorting a kid around."

I can't think of anything offhand, she thought.


A candlelit dinner in The Leaky Cauldron's private room concluded the
evening. Tonks really had grown to care for Harry, finding out as
much about him as she had. But he's still so young and he's
already "married" so many girls. Is there a place in his heart for
me? Wait, why am I asking myself all of these questions- he's
eleven, ferchrissake!

She couldn't have known that Harry's thoughts were along similar
lines. I hope she's enjoyed herself this evening. I'd hate for her
not to like me because she was stuck dragging me around. She
certainly seems happy. Is she happy for me or for all of that
money? Why do I keep looking at that badge?

Harry paid their bill ("I'll tell them you paid for it, so you can
get your 'expenses,' he said"). They walked out into the Alley one
more time, to call the Knight Bus for their journey back home... to
Hogwarts, Harry quickly thought. Did I really think of Hogwarts
as "home"?

The trip back was much quieter than the journey to Diagon. Harry and
Tonks were lost in their own thoughts and worries.

On the walk back from the edge of Hogsmeade, Harry finally gathered
the courage to say what he thought.

"What do you really think of me, Tonks?"

"What do you mean?"

"I tried to impress you this evening. I tried to act mature. I
didn't know about all the money in my vault, or anything like that.
I didn't mean to look at your badge so often..."

"Don't worry, Harry. It goes with the territory. I've had much
worse from men who thought they were much more mature."


"Yes, really. I enjoyed myself this evening, Harry. I wouldn't mind
another outing sometime. I graduate this year, but I wouldn't mind
seeing you once you get a little older." And with that, she kissed
him on the lips.

"Thanks for the evening, Harry." With that, Tonks headed for her
room in Hufflepuff.

Harry stood looking at her walk away for a minute, then started the
walk back to House Harem.
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