FicWad

How could he do this to me?! After every hug, every single time he held my hand, how could he say it didn't mean anything? I have just been through the biggest lie anyone can injure! Ladies and gentleman I have just been played. How fucking dare he! I was in hysterics today because of what he did! How could he hold my hand and basically treat me like I'm his everything, then go and use his ex girlfriend to try and make me stop liking him. Who on the surface of this earth does that? After everything I have done for him, with the whole Amber thing! It's like he's saying,"Far out I hate Amber! Oops no I don't!" Jesus Christ make up your confused mind and stick to what you say. How could I get so stupid? I've fallen into the same trap twice within the past year. I can't believe I got in so deep. I was saying to Veronica how it's always my bad luck, 'cause I'm telling you now that's what it is. It doesn't matter who it is or what the situation or how far deep I dug, it will always reverse and leave me in the same place I started. Sometimes I think, maybe it wasn't his entire fault. Maybe at first he actually did feelings for me, but then woke up to reality and realized that I'm not her. I felt so good when I was with him. Did he really do all of this so he could be one of the first guys to see me crumble? It may have been amusing for him, but it was torture for me. I was speechless for two days! Me, the loudest, happiest and full wog! I was speechless for two days. Everyone, and I mean everyone knew that something wasn't right; I'm never speechless. First period was the worst. He walked into the classroom with her, glanced over at me sitting by myself, and still decided to sit next to her. My eyes were red, and I didn't say a word! After all the times he asked if I was okay, the one time that I wasn't okay he doesn't talk to me. He needs to sort out his priorities.

Mind you, Amber knew nothing about this. I mentioned it to her the other day, and she was dumbfounded. She had didn't know he was using her, but after Monday afternoon at gym class and him going all over her, she knew something wasn't right. What I still don’t get is he blamed her for hitting on him! Look I know that Amber can be a little 'touchy feely' but she knew I liked him, she knew that him and I were close and she's the one who dumped him! She isn’t that much of a bitch. He can't admit to anything! He blames everyone else for his own problems; it's driving everyone crazy. I got so much sympathy from everyone, that wasn't the intention but at least I know that I wasn't the only who found what he did completely inappropriate and shallow. It came down to Mike having to tell Rick to apologize to me. Sure that fact that he even came up to me and said something was a plus, but the fact that someone else had to tell him what he did wrong was pretty pathetic.

He ruined everything! I think for once in my life I was completely happy! And I wasn't by myself. Someone else made me completely happy, Rick made me happy. I didn't think a guy like that would take pleasure out of peoples misfortune, especially if he was the one to bring me up as well as tear me down. With all this also became the mental loss of Veronica. She always keeps going on about how she's always there for me and I'm always there for her, but this time she had no idea what to say to me. All of this sort of woke me up to reality. The more you don't want him, the more he'll want you.