Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Clandestine Industries Presents: disasteRomance

spandex & syrup

by killxsmile 15 reviews

just read. you won't be disappointed.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Published: 2008-04-19 - Updated: 2008-04-19 - 1536 words

1Funny
Author's Note:

snowqueendruscilla - northern downpour is one of my favorites, too.
glindapsawyer - i agree. the record is amazing, but making it sound the same on tour will be a toughie. now i can't wait until hct!
x_slowdown - i hope you've gotten your hands on a copt of pretty.odd. tis a lovely cd.
pyrotechnist - woahwoah! a double review deserves a prize. --hands you a cookie-- as you can probably tell, hemmy is one of my FAVORITE perspectives to write.
XXPoeticTragedyXX - aww shucks. you're making me blush.
lil_chica007 - he'll get huge pork chops. i've made sure of it.
releasethepants - yay! thanks for the skilltes and joe fros. they're HIGHLY appreciated ;)
xStabxMyxBack - yes, i have the dvd. good stuff, yo.
kittkattbar - you can't not love gabe. the spanish. the singing. the adorable laugh that makes him sound like he's having an asthma attack. --dreamily sighs--
xxpatdxx - sorry about the confusion. after sophie's birthday party(chapter 23), the fic split into 2 stories: one where she ends up with pete and one where she ends up with gabe. if you're into Pete/Soap, read the even chapters beginning with 24. if you're into Gabe/Soap, read the odd chapters beginning with 25. or you can read both =D.

34: s p a n d e x & s y r u p

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Joe’s POV

“Umm, hi,” Pete said, holding his sidekick to his ear. “I’d like to request 4 of your best… ASAP… Yeah, at the House of Blues… Just an hour… Yeah… Alright. No, thank you.”

Smirking, he hung up.

“Oh, you’ll find out soon enough.”

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Gabe’s POV

After “Send My Love…”, Suarez and Ryland took their usual mid-set break, busting out their water bottles while I kept the crowd entertained.

“How are you guys doing tonight?”

Energy was high among the sweaty teens, and they happily screamed in response.

“Awesome… While the rest of the band catches their breath, I’d like to share a story with you guys. When I was like 16, my friend Matt called me up one night. He was all ‘Gabe, get your ass out of bed. I’m standing on your front lawn,’ and I was all ‘What the fuck dude? It’s 2AM,’ then he was all ‘There’s a huge party at Daria’s right now, and she asked if we wanted to stop by.’ You see, Daria was this crazy, rich chick who’s parents were always away on business. Anyways, I, being the party animal that I am, got dressed and snuck out through my window. On the way to the party, Matt saw his girlfriend and some guy making out in a car next to us. He started swearing and freaking out. Then before I knew it, the front end of the car was wrapped around a lamppost.”

The crowd gasped.

“Don’t worry, there wasn’t any blood. We were both okay. The car, on the other hand, was fucked up. While I sat in the passenger’s seat not knowing what to do, Matt did the sign of the cross and started praying: ‘God, thank you so much for preventing us from busting our heads open just now…’ As most of you probably know, I don’t pray or go to synagogue as often as a good Jewish boy should. But I still consider myself a very spiritual person. In fact, this next song is about my religion…”

Smiles spread across everyone’s faces as Ryland and Alex took their cues.

“Just let me ask you hey have you heard of my religion? It’s called the church of hot addiction and we believe that god had lust for everything. But now--”

All of a sudden, I felt something grinding up against me. Turning around, I saw that it was someone dressed in a white bunny suit. But that wasn’t the strangest thing unfolding before me.

The stage had become drag queen central. To my left, Marilyn Monroe was dancing in front of Ryland. To my right, Vicky and Suarez were being sandwiched by Cher and Britney Spears. And behind them, Madonna was trying to seduce Nate.

“What the fuck?”

It took a few minutes, but we somehow managed to stop laughing and gain enough composure to finish the song while our guests continued dancing on stage.

After I sang the last lines, the costumed mystery person wrapped me in a hug then revealed himself.

The crowd roared with excited screams as Pete stood there, bunny head in hand.

“Just try to top this, Saporta,” he said before waving to the crowd and running backstage.

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Soap’s POV

After the cobras finished up “Guilty Pleasure,” they made their way off the stage, leaving the crowd screaming “ONE MORE SONG!” yet again.

While I got up to greet them, Hemmy sat at my feet, finishing the pork chops that he had earned.

“Sounds like they just can’t get enough of you guys,” I said, tossing a towel to Alex.
“I know. They don’t call me Sexy Suavez for nothing.”
“Please, I’m waaay sexier,” Gabe said, wrapping me in a sweaty hug from behind. Laughing, I turned around in his arms and returned the gesture.

“So how did it feel to be violated by Wentz?”
“To be honest, it felt pretty good,” he joked. “But I have no idea how we’re supposed to top that.”
“Lucky for you, I’ve been working on that,” I said, poking his chest.
“Fo’real?”
“Yep. I called in a few favors just now,” I said, smirking. “Let’s just say Pete isn’t the only one with friends in interesting places.”

Half an hour later, I received a call from Diaz at security.

“Hey, Sophie, there are some dudes over here claiming that they’re friends with you.”
“Soaaap! Tell him to let us in!”
“We’re legit, man!”


“What do they look like?” I asked wanting to mess with them a little.
“Umm, there’s a tall blonde with a sleeves, a brunette with snakebites, a brunette with the Bayside logo on his neck, another blonde without sleeves, and two dudes without tattoos or piercings.”

“Are they carrying anything with them?”
“The tall blonde has a huge box, snakebites has a duffel bag and the dude without sleeves has a bunch of pillows.”
“Yeah. They’re with me.”

After getting off the phone, I gathered the starship and introduced them to my brothers from other mothers.

“Cobras, these are my evil cohorts: Matt, Eddy, Darren, Bryce, Sam and Jeff. Cohorts, these are the Cobras: Gabe, Vicky, Nate, Ryland and Suarez.”

They exchanged handshakes, and we got straight to business.

“Have all of the stuff?” I asked.
“Yeah. Syrup, pillows and costumes.”
“Sweet. You can change in the bathroom.”

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Ryland’s POV

“Do you all know your cues?” Sophie asked, as we gathered at the side of the stage.
“Yeah. Once you and Gabe do your thing, me, Vicky, Suarez and Nate start phase 2.”
“Then the rest of us wait until the music for phase 3,” Matt added.

The resident evil genius smiled and nodded. “This is gonna be fucking amazing.”

I confess, I messed up dropping ‘I’m sorry’ like you’re still around
And I know you’re dressed up
‘Hey kid, you’ll never live this down’…


“Ready, babe?” Sophie asked.

Cause you’re just the girl all the boys wanna dance with

“Always,” Gabe responded

And I’m just the boy who’s had too many chances

“Okay. On the count of three. One.”

Sleeping on your folks’ porch again, dreaming

“Two.”

She said, she said, she said--

“Three!”

With that, Gabe and Sophie ran onto the stage, Super Soakers in hand, and covered the guys in maple syrup. Then the rest of team cobra thickened the plot, each of us dumping a box of feathers onto a member of Fall Out Boy. While they stood dazed and confused, Sophie had the techs cut the microphones. The YMCA started playing and Sophie’s gang took their cue, hitting the stage dressed as the Village People.

Patrick, Joe and Andy couldn’t stop laughing as a policeman, a Native American, a construction worker, a cowboy, a leather man and a military dude started to party boy Pete.

We returned to the stage and started dancing. Panic joined us a few seconds later. Once the refrain hit, everyone in the venue was on their feet, dancing along with us. Words could not describe how cool it was looking into the crowd and seeing thousands of kids doing the YMCA.

It was fucking surreal.

As the song ended, the audience let out a collective sigh. After taking our bows, we made our way off the stage.

“Damn. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think Team Cobra outdid our prank,” Pete said into the mic.

Though they were sticky and feathered, the guys restarted “A Little Less Sixteen Candles” and played through the rest of their set with huge smiles on their faces.

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