FicWad

All day I had been a bit anxious, excited, nervous--- and I'm not even sure why. At around 7: 30 pm I arrive there, but as soon as I walk through the door at 69 Salter Place, the feeling washes out of me. It's just Mikey and Ray, no one else. Thought Gerard had said he'd see me at practice?

"Where's Gerard and Matt?" I ask Mikey.

"They went out for the night," Mikey tells me, without even looking up from the book that was in his hands.

Ray rolls his eyes. I want to ask Ray why he rolled his eyes (whether it was about Gerard and Matt or about Mikey reading), but I don't. "We're just going to be, like, writing parts and whatever," Ray tells me, as he picks up his guitar and starts to strum an unfamiliar tune. "Wanna do some rythm parts, Frank?"

I nod and grab for my guitar out of it's case. I plug it into the amp sitting in the corner of the room and take a seat back in my chair. It's silent as I play along.

Mikey doesn't look up the whole time we're playing, and when he does, he's smiling. "Wow," Is all he says.

"That sounds really good," Ray agrees. "This just like..."

"Completes the song. It completes the band," Mikey says.

I can help the smile that spreads across my face. It was such a warm feeling to actually feel appreciated, and to feel like this was really where I belonged. Sitting here playing guitar with Ray and Mikey just felt so unusually perfect.



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Standing by the door, it's nearly ten, and I'm about to leave. All of this creativity has really left me drained and I just can't stop the yawning--- it's getting to the point where tears keep dripping out of my eyes, I'm yawning so badly. My hand barely brushes against the doornob leading outside when it swings open and an extremely drunk Gerard comes bursting in. His eyebrows and scrunched together and he looks as if he's angry.

"What's going on?" Mikey asks his brother.

Gerard keeps walking towards the fridge, stumbling a few times before making it to his destination. "Man, I need some fucking liquir," he slurs. Before I know it he's cracking open a beer.

For some reason I suddenly want to start laughing, and I have this odd feeling I might randomly yell 'pants!' or something. It was pretty nerve-wracking for the guy you accidently told every single bit of your secrets to to be standing, extremely drunk, just six feet away from you, and at any moment could point at you and be like 'yep, he finds men more attractive than woman'.

Mikey sighs, as if this happens all the time, and grabs the bottle out of Gerard's hand. In slow motion, Gerard tries to grab for it. He laughs hysterically and is soon rolling around on the floor. Ray and I make eye contact and he shrugs, as if to say, 'what can you do?'

As soon as he'd gotten on the floor, he's back up and opening shelves and drawers. He opens each one, and doesn't shut them.

"What are you doing?" Ray asks.

"Fuckin', Morris..." Gerard mumbles. "Morris Borris, I'm going to find... you!" he yells.

"Dude," Mikey says, shutting some cabinets near him. "Mom and dad's trying to sleep. And there is no Morris."

Gerards laughing and clapping, while singing the words 'Morris Borris' in a random melody.

"What's 'Morris Borris'?" I ask Ray.

"Gerard thinks he has a cat named Morris. We go through this shit every night," he says.

I nod. Gerard suddenly turns and looks at me. He smiles with just half of his mouth, lips closed. My heart suddenly jumps. He's walking towards me and stops inches away. "Frank," he says.

I clear my throat. "...Gerard."

There's this silence, not an awkward one, but one of knowingness. Mikey and Ray stand off to the side, observing this strange chemistry that's bubbling between their friend and the new guitarist.

I'm the one to end it. "Um, sorry to leave you guys, but I really should get home." I don't mean it to sound sarcastic at all, but it does sound a bit like sarcasm.

Mikey nods and Gerard leaves the room humming, swaying as he walks.

While I drive home, I feel like I'm high. I'm driving too fast, my turns too sharp, my stops too sudden. Everything's foggy, but probably because he's on my mind. It's funny that someone who's 'not gay' would tell this to someone and would have these strong feelings towards this same someone. Okay, so maybe it's time I just admit.

I'm just a little bit gay. But only a little. Besides, isn't feeling this way while I'm dating someone--- a girl someone--- something like cheating? And I've never been a cheater.When I pull into the driveway, it's in a bit of a wreckless way, but you'd be driving pretty wildly, too, if your mind was thinking so much. That's probably why what happens next happens. Something hits my bumper and I hear a horrible screech. I get out of the car, which is now parked in the driveway, and at the end of the driveway lays a small white poodle, whimpering in pain.

What have I done?




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THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all of the reviews on last chapter. I love getting reveiws. It like, motivates me :)
This chapter was a bit random, and probably sucks. I couldn't keep my train of thought. It took me like an hour. Yeah, for this short little chapter. Jesus. Lately I take so long to do everything. I don't know what my problem is, I never used to be so slow...
So, I have vacation this week, and of course frigging lacrosse practice at 10 am. God, I hate lacrosse. I wish I could skip but I've already missed 2 in the past week. Yeah, okay, on Friday my stomach was like so big and round and like bloated and it hurt so bad. It was so scary. I thought I had like intesting disease. But it went away. Good thing, too, except for now I have no reason to miss lacrosse... EUGH.
OKAY, I am done rambling on. As always, reveiw!