Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Tainted Shadows
Torment In Absense
1 reviewSchool. Gerard's only glimpse of hope is absent today. Time for torture, right?
0Unrated
time lapse
Keep your head down, keep your head down, I thought. Tears were welling up in my eyes. Why wasn't he here yet? It was third hour. He was supposed to be here. I always had third hour with him. Was he sick? Was he even okay at all? Were his classes switched? I wished more than ever to be in my blackened room, curled up in a ball, hiding from everyone, everything. Away from this classroom, away from the pain caused by the absence of my happiness. Two seats behind me sat a person who in a way seemed to have a cryptic alliance with my father. He too, would probably leave me bloody and bruised again come lunch. Out of all the taunts and mumbled phrases of secret hate against me, this person tormented me most. Not that I didn't deserve it really. It just felt like a continuous stab to the heart. Staring at the boy I missed so much now, gave me something to live for. Even if he didn't know I existed. Even if liking him was wrong. My ears listened intently for the door to creak, signifying someone's arrival. I bit my knuckles to keep from crying. Please come back, Frankie. I need you. A few seconds later I felt a sharp pain in the back of my skull.
"Aah!" I winced but tried to ignore it.
"Hey fag!" he whispered. The voice belonged to my tormentor.
"Leave me alone, Bert." I hissed. I attempted to appear stern. He gave a sinister giggle. I tried to ignore him.
"What are you upset your boyfriend's not here today?"
"Shut up." I fought the breaking in my voice.
"Awe, is little Gee Gee gonna cry?"
"Shut up, Bert."
"Whatcha gonna do?"
"Leave me alone."
"Faggot."
When he said that I couldn't take it anymore. Not even caring what the teacher would do, I shot out of the classroom. I could hear him cackle and hoot with his friends on my way out. I hated that sound but it always echoed in my brain. I was going to take refuge in the bathroom. The only thing I could really do. It was the only vice I had besides my art. Nothing but stall walls to talk to. At least they listened and didn't care if I cried. They didn't beat me to a bloody pulp. God, I miss Frankie. Reaching the restroom I immediately vacated a stall. I slumped against a wall to the floor. I hugged my knees and let the tears fall. I bit down on my knee caps to silence myself. The pain was numbing, but I bit down harder to remind myself of what was going on. Only to the point when I was just about to bleed, but not quite. I didn't want to explain red stains on my uniform to my mother. She already had enough to worry about. I had to fake that I was strong. For her, for Mikey. I just wish Frankie would give me another reason to be strong. He was the one thing I lived for at school. I just wish he noticed me.
Keep your head down, keep your head down, I thought. Tears were welling up in my eyes. Why wasn't he here yet? It was third hour. He was supposed to be here. I always had third hour with him. Was he sick? Was he even okay at all? Were his classes switched? I wished more than ever to be in my blackened room, curled up in a ball, hiding from everyone, everything. Away from this classroom, away from the pain caused by the absence of my happiness. Two seats behind me sat a person who in a way seemed to have a cryptic alliance with my father. He too, would probably leave me bloody and bruised again come lunch. Out of all the taunts and mumbled phrases of secret hate against me, this person tormented me most. Not that I didn't deserve it really. It just felt like a continuous stab to the heart. Staring at the boy I missed so much now, gave me something to live for. Even if he didn't know I existed. Even if liking him was wrong. My ears listened intently for the door to creak, signifying someone's arrival. I bit my knuckles to keep from crying. Please come back, Frankie. I need you. A few seconds later I felt a sharp pain in the back of my skull.
"Aah!" I winced but tried to ignore it.
"Hey fag!" he whispered. The voice belonged to my tormentor.
"Leave me alone, Bert." I hissed. I attempted to appear stern. He gave a sinister giggle. I tried to ignore him.
"What are you upset your boyfriend's not here today?"
"Shut up." I fought the breaking in my voice.
"Awe, is little Gee Gee gonna cry?"
"Shut up, Bert."
"Whatcha gonna do?"
"Leave me alone."
"Faggot."
When he said that I couldn't take it anymore. Not even caring what the teacher would do, I shot out of the classroom. I could hear him cackle and hoot with his friends on my way out. I hated that sound but it always echoed in my brain. I was going to take refuge in the bathroom. The only thing I could really do. It was the only vice I had besides my art. Nothing but stall walls to talk to. At least they listened and didn't care if I cried. They didn't beat me to a bloody pulp. God, I miss Frankie. Reaching the restroom I immediately vacated a stall. I slumped against a wall to the floor. I hugged my knees and let the tears fall. I bit down on my knee caps to silence myself. The pain was numbing, but I bit down harder to remind myself of what was going on. Only to the point when I was just about to bleed, but not quite. I didn't want to explain red stains on my uniform to my mother. She already had enough to worry about. I had to fake that I was strong. For her, for Mikey. I just wish Frankie would give me another reason to be strong. He was the one thing I lived for at school. I just wish he noticed me.
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