FicWad

"Melian!" Estë shook her by the shoulders, trying to wake the sleeping Maia. Melian was unresponsive and breathing shallowly. The bright light of morning shone through the trees of the wood where Melian lay, still as a stone, upon a soft patch of grass beside a tiny stream twinkling in the sunlight. The only sound to pierce the silence was the burbling water of the stream. Beside her was a small mound of river stones, smooth and polished, that she had placed as a marker.
Alarmed by this development in Melian's condition, Estë shook her again. She and Irmo had been searching for two days for their friend among the gardens where she liked to walk and listen to her nightingales' melodic songs, but the birds had now become silent at the loss of their mistress. They could not find her until one of the Elves had come to tell them that she had been discovered lying down in the wood on the other side of Lake Lorellin. It seemed that she had taken out a boat alone, and had rowed herself across the water. Then, she had lain down in the wood in an attempt to pass away out of the world.
"Melian!" Estë tried again to wake her. "Irmo", she asked in desperation. Would you please lift her into the boat? We must take her home where she belongs. This madness must be dealt with. We have left it for too long. She has not been herself since Thingol died. She believes she is an Elf too now, and that she can die as they do by lying down in grief, and letting the inner spirit pass into the Halls of Mandos".
"There is much that needs to be healed within her", Irmo agreed in a voice that was both sad and quiet, as he lifted Melian into his strong arms. Her lightness was surprising to him, as she seemed to float upon the air on her own, and he carried her to the waiting vessel. "I have not done enough for her; not as much as I could have done, and if it were not for the child she was carrying, I would have done more to help her long ago. Did she not seem to be improving, Estë? She was not happy, but I thought she seemed to be taking more of an interest in the things around her. She seemed to enjoy walking about in our gardens, and taking pleasure in the flowers and nightingales".
"I believe that was only a way to try to find a place where she could lie down and pass the rest of eternity far from here", Estë replied.
"Well, let us then take her home and begin immediately the healing sessions", suggested Irmo with a look of deep sympathy upon his kind face. "Her mind must be prevented from falling further into the darkness that she has chosen to embrace". Estë nodded, and they rowed the rest of the way home in silence, each of them worried for their friend and trying to think of new ways to help her.

OOOOOOOOoooOOOOOOOO

Heneryn had flounced out of the cottage and banged the door shut, leaving her foster parents bewildered, and wondering what had become of their daughter. She, who had never before given them any trouble, had turned into a virago who never seemed to have a kind word or deed for them any longer.
Galadriel's festival in Lórinand had been a disaster. Some years before, Galadriel and her children had come to live in Lórinand and had established a comfortable home there. Galadriel and her followers from Eregion had swiftly organized the Silvan Elves who lived in the Golden Wood and she became their leader, setting up a well-guarded realm with a reasonably well-armed force that would be able to keep out unwanted visitors and the enemy should Lórinand ever come under attack. But she missed her husband Celeborn, who had become tired of Celebrimbor's mistreatment of him and he had gone to live in the Elven haven of Imladris. Galadriel had plans to join him there now that the Lórinand army had been established, and she thought that her son Amroth, now fully grown, could be left in charge. She had wanted to throw a party to celebrate the new realm, to reward the Elves of Lórinand for their hard work, and she also wished to see Heneryn once more before she went to join her husband.

First, Mitaurë and Maressa had decided to attend on Heneryn's behalf, so that she might have a chance to enjoy herself with some of the younger Elves and also to see Galadriel again before she left for Imladris. They had been pleased that she liked Rúmil, and were hoping that perhaps something might develop between them in the way of a romantic relationship. However, less than a week before they were to leave for Lothlorien, Heneryn had told her parents about Laurerusca, and said that she wished to bring him along to the party.
Mitaurë and Maressa were furious.
"Who is this person? How is it that we have not been introduced to him? Who are his parents? Heneryn, how could you just go out and take up with a stranger in the forest?" They battered her with a barrage of questions in their concern for her safety. They were furious also that for the first time since they had known her, she had committed an act in secret. Heneryn's hands flew to cover her ears against the verbal onslaught, which she perceived to be unfair and controlling.

"Please! Atto and Amme! You are being very unpleasant! Laurerusca and I love each other! You do not understand!"
"Heneryn", Mitaurë told her in a stern tone that, when she was younger, would have frozen her to her toes, "we know what can happen when young people who have just met say that they love each other! You may not bind yourself to this stranger!"
"Oh! You are just impossible! He is not a stranger to me! You do not know him!" Heneryn raised her voice to them, and shut herself in her room for a week. Or so they thought. She would come out for meals, but then go straight back to her room and shut the door, and only speak when spoken to. However, after a few days of this behaviour, Mitaurë had gone outside to fetch some wood, and discovered Heneryn climbing out of her bedroom window with the intention of running off into the forest.
After that incident, when they realized that Heneryn had been sneaking out to meet Laurerusca without their permission, they forbade him to come to Lórinand with them, yet they insisted that Heneryn accompany them alone. Oh, how they regretted afterward that they had gone to the gala at all.
Heneryn was in a foul mood, and made the journey there most unpleasant for her parents, as she deliberately lagged behind, walking very slowly, and stopping every few minutes to complain about something.
"Oh, my leg hurts! Ai! I've stubbed my foot on a tree root! Oh, please, can we sit down? I am so tired!" Once, she burst into tears very suddenly and began wailing Laurerusca's name. She kept it up for an unbearable length of time, and then she began to compose a lament for him, which she sang repeatedly as they trudged along.
"Laurerusca, Laurerusca, Laurerusca, Laurerusca, Laurerusca---" the first part of it went, his name sung in a monotone, over and over and over. Then, she switched to a proper lament:
"Alas, for the times we have spent in each other's arms, inhaling the scents and feeling the soft skin of each other's private places,
Alas, I lament that we were sundered apart so cruelly by the wicked people I live with, much to my chagrin and tortured soul,
To be without you is to be forever confined in the black hovel of hell that is called my parents' house, the Rose Cottage,
May one day we meet again in the Halls of Mandos where we shall once more lie in each other's arms, our nakedness exposed for each other's pleasure, and committing great acts of passion that cause us to burn with-"
"Heneryn!" Mitaurë had cried out, finally. "For Eru's sake, rest your voice, girl! Can't you see how upset your mother has become?"

"Laurerusca, Laurerusca, Laurerusca, Laurerusca, Laurerusca," she wailed anew.

When they finally reached the Golden Wood, it seemed to Mitaurë and Maressa that it had been an eternity spent in the Timeless Halls to get there. They were received graciously by a retinue of Elves who took their cloaks and wraps, and ushered them into the party area. It was beautifully laid out, with small round tables set here and there, low to the ground, with large soft cushions in jewel colours placed on the ground upon which to sit. Each table held a centrepiece of a single flower of Elanor, set in a shallow vase of pearl. Three harpists sat on the outskirts of the seating area and strummed gently, letting the smooth tunes waft over the guests without intruding into their conversations. Around the perimeter of the seating area were a dozen small ponds of enchanted water, shining like mirrors, upon which floated white and pink water lilies. The effect was simple and elegant. Mallorn trees formed a canopy above them, and these were festooned with multiple strings of candles set in holders of wrought silver.

Heneryn, with a face as gloomy as a thundercloud, made no effort to be pleasant to anyone, and trudged along glumly behind her parents. Wherever they moved, she was right behind them. She never moved up beside them, but stayed a couple of feet behind them, always at their heels, stepping where they stepped, and saying nothing.

After a short time, Rúmil approached them, as he had noticed Heneryn from across the room. A radiant smile was fixed upon his fair face. As Maressa looked upon his tall, slender form with his glowing skin and long fall of smooth, pale hair, she thought that he was more beautiful that day than she had ever seen him.

"Master Mitaurë and Madame Maressa", he spoke in a sweet-toned voice, "Let me welcome you and your lovely daughter to Lórinand".

Mitaurë and Maressa bowed to Rúmil. Heneryn, appearing to be bored, sighed loudly and looked up at the treetops, and said not a word of greeting to him.

"Thank you for your graciousness, Rúmil", said Mitaurë, as Maressa inclined her head in a nod of acknowledgement. Looking sideways at Heneryn, she tried to give her daughter a little nudge, but Heneryn neatly dodged it. Rúmil offered Heneryn his arm in order to lead her up the stairs to a talan where Galadriel and her children, now grown, awaited.

"No, thank you", she replied haughtily. "I can climb up very well on my own".

"I think you will find that the stairs are steep", Rúmil offered. "Are you sure you do not want my support?"

She replied in a cold, haughty tone, "Humph. I told you, No!"

Rúmil looked puzzled, but then his smile returned. "Allow me to lead you then", and he walked in front of them, taking them up to the talan upon which the Lady was greeting her guests.

Mitaurë had an opportunity to hiss disapproving words to Heneryn. "Girl, please be civil! Do you not wish to see your friends again?"

"They are not my friends", she hissed back. "I do not know them now. It has been too long since I saw them last!"

There were many Elves present at the party, but none were known to Mitaurë and Maressa, who sat at a table alone with Heneryn seated by herself at the table next to theirs. As the party progressed, Mitaurë and Maressa could not enjoy themselves completely, as they kept an ever watchful eye upon their daughter, who refused all company at her table.
She had acted quite frostily toward Amroth and Celebrían, who were fortunately busy attending to many tasks that night. Rúmil had been quite busy all day as well, and now many elf-maidens wished for him to dance with them. He also busied himself bringing food and refreshment to many of the guests. Heneryn had been avoiding him every time he would approach them.

However, it was inevitable that he would come to them, bringing a tray, his ever present smile upon his full lips. The tray was large and upon it were many dainty morsels of food: fruit cut into shapes of Mallorn leaves, and tiny cakes, among other things, and slender goblets of fine crystal, containing wine and cordial of the bright berry colours of red and purple.

"Please try some of these", he said with a bow, and held the tray low for them to see its contents. Mitaurë and Maressa murmured their thanks, and each took a piece of fruit, a cake, and a glass of wine. Heneryn sat apart, aloof and not looking in their direction at all, but directing her aloof gaze into the safe darkness of the surrounding trees.

Rúmil bent low to offer her something from the tray, and beamed his radiant smile. "Heneryn?" he asked sweetly. "Would you like to try some cake and cordial?"

"No, thank you", she said coldly.

He looked surprised. "But you have travelled such a long way. Surely you must be both hungry and thirsty".

"I said NO!" she told him firmly.

He bent lower, pressing the tray closer to her. "Just try one of these glasses of cordial", he begged, "you will find them most-", and then stopped as Heneryn rose up abruptly in that instant and sent the tray flying. Many Elves in the vicinity had their festive robes soaked by flying red wine and purple cordial. The crystal goblets shattered everywhere. Pieces of cake and fruit landed in a nearby pool of Galadriel's special water, and bits of each either floated on top among the water lilies, or sunk to the bottom in soggy lumps of sodden pastry.

Rúmil was shocked speechless, his ever-present smile disappearing into a stunned expression as his almond-shaped eyes widened into circles and his full lips clamped into a straight line. Mitaurë felt the heat of rage engulf him but managed to hold his temper as he picked pieces of glass and food out of his clothing. Maressa was mortified, and tried hard not to cry. Heneryn burst into laughter.

"Clumsy fool!" She pointed at Rúmil.

"Me!" He lost his composure then, and his lovely face turned bright red. "I seem to remember that your arm came up as if to hit me, and then the tray was knocked out of my hand!"

"How DARE you try to blame me! Stupid Seldo!" Heneryn shouted. Galadriel came rushing down the steps to see what the commotion was.

Many harsh words were spoken that night, and shortly after the mess had been cleaned up, Mitaurë, Maressa and Heneryn took their leave, the former two in shame, apologizing profusely to the Lady Galadriel and her children. They returned home feeling a mixture of anger and grief, except for Heneryn, who was quite pleased with herself. She sang happily all the way back. No more songs of lament. She sang happy songs from her childhood.


OOOOOOOOoooOOOOOOOO


During the next few years, which passed in a grey gloom for Mitaurë and Maressa, Heneryn did mostly whatever she pleased, going out into the forest to meet her lover at night, and becoming lazy during the days. She refused to do the chores that she had once happily completed every day for her parents, and would become quite sullen whenever they asked her to run an errand for them, or do anything around the house.

Once, after Mitaurë caught Heneryn leaving the house in the evening to go to meet her lover, he felt that he had suffered enough from her bad behaviour, and grabbed her by the arm to stop her. She turned to face him in anger.

"My real parents would not have treated me so cruelly as you have done", she said bitterly. "They would have known how much I love Laurerusca and they would have let me be with him".

Mitaurë looked hard at his daughter.

"Your real parents do not function as parents, caring for you as Maressa and I have done for all these years. Your welfare, and indeed, your whereabouts, would seem of no importance to them".

Heneryn looked back at him in shocked silence for a moment. First, a look of anger flashed inside her eyes, but it quickly changed to anguish, and turned inward upon itself, and she began to cry.

"I am sorry". She sobbed. "I truly am. Forgive me, Atto".

He took her in his arms and held her close as she wept. Then she gathered all of her scattered emotions together, composed herself, and wiped her eyes. "You have made me see the truth of it", she said. "I could not see - I had always hoped - that one day they would come for me. You don't know how I felt to be passed from one family to the other, never knowing whether I belonged, and always waiting ".

"Hush, Heneryn, my child", Mitaurë whispered, patting her hair. "Please believe me. I understand. You need not say more".

After this moment, Heneryn became changed in her attitude toward her parents, and she softened in her treatment of them, becoming kinder and more cooperative. However, her feelings for Laurerusca did not change, or his for her. They truly loved each other and wished to be together.

Eventually, after several hundred more years had passed, it became apparent that Heneryn was with child. Maressa realized it first, before Mitaurë did and before Heneryn herself had said anything about it. Deeply sorrowful for that which could have been prevented if Heneryn had not been so headstrong in character, Maressa decided one day to speak to her about it. Heneryn was mortified by Maressa's discovery before she had managed to tell her about it, and by her mistake in not doing so, and ran sobbing into the forest. Several hours later, she reappeared with Laurerusca in tow. Mitaurë and Maressa had met him only once before, in a very brief meeting, in which they had made known their hope to the couple that they would not become too deeply involved with each other. Since that time Heneryn had met with Laurerusca only at his own home or out of doors in the forest.

Maressa became alarmed at seeing the couple approaching the cottage at this time, because she had not yet spoken to Mitaurë about Heneryn's pregnancy. She quickly sought him out in the forge in back of the cottage, where he made jewellery for the Elves of Lórinand.

"Mitaurë, Melaya", she said softly, "may I speak with you immediately, please?"

The tone of her voice caught his attention and he dropped his tools, and walked toward her. "What is it, Maressa?" he asked, a little worried for what he might hear, and without concern for the piece he was working on: a delicate necklace for the Lady Celebrían that would likely be ruined if left on the table for too long.

"Heneryn is coming now, as we speak, toward the cottage with Laurerusca", she replied, "and there is something I must tell you before they draw nearer".

Mitaurë knew that what he was about to hear was not going to be good news. His gaze searched Maressa's face, and his heart pleaded with her silently to not tell him what he did not want to hear.

"Heneryn is expecting a child, Mitaurë", Maressa told him. "It is Laurerusca's. I think that they are coming to tell us that they wish to marry".

Surely enough, when the couple drew nearer, arms about each other as they walked slowly through the paths among the herbs and flowers of her garden, she thought how cruel was fate that it should follow that these two should have to be kept apart. She welcomed them into the house.

After a long discussion, during which time Heneryn's parents listened to the couple's pleas, she told them that she would of necessity have to go and seek counsel with the Lord Amroth in order to gain permission for them to marry. Laurerusca was surprised that permission should be necessary from someone other than Heneryn's parents. As she sat watching him carefully, Maressa realized how Heneryn could have been smitten with this Dark Elf. His hair of brown streaked with grey belied his youthful face. His eyes were the most striking thing about him. They were huge and golden brown, and fringed with very long, dark lashes. When you looked into them you saw a kindness there, and an attention as if you were the most important person in the world to him. When his gaze was downcast, the lashes lay upon his cheeks like the pinfeathers of a dove. The effect was disarming and it softened her toward him immediately. His clothing was dove coloured in shades of brown and grey and fit well upon his sturdy frame. He was not as tall as other Elves. His neck and upper torso were thick and strong, and his arms and legs were well-muscled. You could tell that he was a hunter, and indeed, he had the overall appearance of a good protector.

"So you have not told him, then, daughter?" Mitaurë asked.

"Told me what?" said Laurerusca in alarm.

"Because of Heneryn's parentage, she must obtain special permission to marry", Mitaurë replied. "She is under the watch of the Valar. I do not know why. I do not know the full story of her parentage. We have been told, and Heneryn is aware also, that her father is Celegorm, son of Fëanor".

"You are of the House of Fëanor?" cried Laurerusca. "These are not your real parents? Oh, please excuse me, Master and Madame. I am sorry. I did not mean to be rude", he apologized.

Maressa reassured him that he was nothing of the kind.

"Yes, she is of that family", she said, "and that is not all. We know not who her mother is, but we have our suspicions. Heneryn was brought to us to look after when she was still young by the Vala Estë. Before that the Lady Galadriel of Lórinand had been her foster mother. We were to keep her hidden always from others' knowledge and her identity was to be kept secret from all except those who already knew; those being the Lady of the Golden Wood and her family, and perhaps a few of the other Elves there". Maressa swallowed hard and paused for a moment, deciding whether or not to tell them of her suspicions. Then she decided that it would be in their best interests to know, since Heneryn had complicated matters by becoming with child, and she swallowed again and said, "We suspect that her mother may have been a Vala herself".

The young couple sat in stunned silence while listening to Maressa's revelation. Then Maressa got to her feet and heaved a sigh.

"I will go now to Lórinand to speak with the Lord Amroth, now that Lady Galadriel has gone", she said. "I shall leave immediately".

"Please wait a moment", said Laurerusca, and "how is it possible that this information was to be kept a secret? You must have known that one day Heneryn would have wanted to marry! She is beautiful. She has the luminescence of the winter moon. How could any male Elf not fall in love with her upon first sight?" he asked.

"We know that you love her, Laurerusca", replied a sympathetic Maressa, "but we had originally hoped that if she were to fall in love, that it would be with someone from Lórinand, and then they could have remained there, hidden from the rest of the world, and they might have had a chance to be happy".

"We can be happy! We can remain hidden in this forest", said Laurerusca. "We could live here, or with my parents. We can remain undiscovered".

"Well, perhaps it will be possible for you to do so, Hinya. But permission must be obtained first. Let me go to see the Lord Amroth. I will be back the day after tomorrow, and I shall tell you then what his answer may be", Maressa spoke to them in soothing tones. She put out a trembling hand that was at odds with her calm expression, caressed Heneryn's cheek tenderly, and then dropped the hand to her side. She cast a worried glance toward Mitaurë, who had remained silent throughout the exchange. To her he looked suddenly old and weary.

The young couple exchanged worried glances. Laurerusca took Heneryn's hand in his and squeezed it tightly. Maressa then took her leave, walking up the pathway leading out of the forest. With a look of deep sadness she glanced backward at her husband and the two young lovers.


OOOOOOOOoooOOOOOOOO


It was a long trek through the outlying country between the Tasarion Forest and Lórinand. Maressa grieved in her heart for what she felt would be the answer from Amroth that would seal the fate of Heneryn and Laurerusca.

When she arrived at the entrance to the Golden Wood, she gave the familiar unique whistle that would announce her identity, and waited until someone came to escort her into Caras Galadhon. She shivered slightly in her cloak of dark green, even though it was not cold outside, but her nervousness was making her feel light-headed and shaken.

Presently a party of Elves came into view. Maressa did not recognize anyone she knew among them, and sighed in relief as Rúmil had not come. With too much as it was to occupy her mind, Maressa did not wish to feel as well the guilt that she suffered over the kind young Elf's treatment by Heneryn long ago.

The party of Elves greeted her and led her to Amroth's meeting area on a talan above the Wood.

Amroth greeted her. "So you have come, Maressa".

Maressa was not startled by his words. She also had prescience, though not as strong as Galadriel's or her son's, that Amroth would know, even before she arrived, what Maressa was there for. She proceeded to tell him the story of Heneryn's behaviour during the past several months, and of her impending childbirth.

Amroth turned a wise but sorrowful face toward the dark woman of the Avari. "Alas, that this should happen is a tragedy", he stated, "and yet it could not have been prevented. Go back, Maressa, to your husband. There is nothing more that you can do for Heneryn".

"But My Lord", pleaded Maressa. "What do your words mean? What do you see that lies before her? I must protect her if I can".

Amroth came forward and placed his hands upon Maressa's trembling ones. "You and Mitaurë were given a gift for a while. You loved her, and she made you happy, but the gift was bittersweet. For you may not keep it forever. Go now, back to your husband, for he will be with you always. Give to him all the love that you have left, for he is much deserving of it, and you of his".

On the return journey, Maressa was heavy of heart. Over and over in her mind she turned Amroth's words, and could not replace the terror she felt with any measure of consolation. As she approached the clearing, she saw Mitaurë, walking in circles at the front of the cottage, pulling at his hair and weeping. She lifted up her robes and ran to him.

"Mitaurë, my dear, what is it? What has happened?" she cried.

"They are gone", he sobbed. "They did not wait for your return. She knew. She knew what was said before you could return to tell her. They have run away".

Maressa sat down on the ground and cried. She knew that she would never see Heneryn again. She turned her face into Mitaurë's shoulder as he came to hold her and cried with deep sorrow for the loss of the child she never had.