Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Stop & Stare

Chapter 23

by flawedrainbow 1 review

sorry for the late-ness! read & review!

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Humor,Romance - Published: 2008-05-02 - Updated: 2008-05-02 - 2997 words - Complete

1 week had passed, and nobody brought up the incident.
It was like it never happened… thank god!
I was in the kitchen getting myself a bottle of water, and the guys were all in the living room.
“Stevie, can you grab me a Red Bull?” Brendon asked sweetly from the couch.
“Sure thing. Anybody else want anything?” I called out to them.
“Can you grab me a Vitamin water babe?” Ryan asked.
“Yeah. Jon? Spence?” I asked.
“No thanks!” they replied.
I grabbed my water, Brendon’s Red Bull and Ryan’s Vitamin water before heading back to the couch.
“Thanks.” Brendon said happily, taking the Red Bull.
Ryan kissed my cheek as I sat down next to him and handed him his drink.
“Hey Stevie, you still coming with me to the mall?” Jon asked.
“Fer sure.” I smiled.
The guys were going to this party thing, and they invited me.
Jon wanted me to help him choose an outfit, and I thought I’d get myself something too.
“Well, me, Ry, and Spence are gonna stay here because we didn’t leave our outfit choices till the last minute.” Brendon teased.
“Bren, I chose your outfit! You’re gonna be wearing my jeans for god’s sake! I need to get something to compensate for that loss!” I laughed.
“Well… fine!” Brendon huffed and crossed him arms.
We all laughed.
“What are you thinking of getting?” Ryan asked curiously.
“I dunno. It’s not too dressy is it?” I asked.
Ryan shook his head, “its semi-formal.” He told me.
“Ok then. What about you?” I asked.
He shrugged.
“Fine then, be like that.” I said.
“I will.” He replied with a smile.
I poked my tongue out of him and got up, but Ryan pulled me back down.
“Hey! I need to go get ready, I’m still in my PJ’s.” I told him.
“Nooo, stay! Besides, your PJ’s are cute.” He told me.
I shook my head and smiled, “No, I’m going to get dressed.” I said before pecking his cheek, and walking off towards my room.
After closing the door behind me, I walked into my wardrobe and pondered on what to wear.
That’s right, pondered!
Such a cool word… anyways!
I put on my red tartan skirt, with a white off-the-shoulder top and black converse high tops.
After getting dressed, I pulled my hair into a side pony and grabbed my handbag.
(Which had my phone, purse and keys Ryan had made up for me.)
After realising I had a few minutes, I walked over to the drawer which had my journal and opened it up.
I did this occasionally, just look at my journal, not feeling the need to write in it.
I placed it back in the draw when something interrupted my thoughts, “Stevie!” Ryan called, walking into my room.
“Jon’s ready to go babe.” He smiled.
“Ok, I’ll see you later.” I said, walking over to him and kissing him lightly on the lips.
I looked up at him, “Bye.” I said, before walking out and joining Jon in the living room.
“Ready to go fair maiden?” he asked.
“Of course kind sir.” I replied with a smile.
“Well then, tally forth!” he cried, grabbing my hand and skipping out to the car.
Yeah, we’re weird, but that’s how we roll.
We both got in, and sped away to the mall.

[Ryan’s POV]
“Bye.” She said looking up at me, before walking back into the living room to join Jon.
I noticed the draw in her desk was open.
So many times I’d come in here and she’d quickly close it.
‘What’s she hiding?’ I asked myself, contemplating whether to open it or not.
Curiosity got the best of me and I walked towards the desk, pulling the draw out further.
There were nearly 10 old looking notebooks in there.
My hand reached out, and I grabbed the one on the top of the pile.
I opened it to the first page and read it.
My eyes widened when I read what she had written, and before I knew it I had read the entire journal.
I sat down on the computer chair, placed the journal back into the drawer and stared blankly ahead.
‘I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have done that.’ I repeated to myself mentally.
But, once again, before I knew it, I had grabbed another journal and continued reading.
[End of Ryan’s POV]

Jon and me walked through the doors smiling.
We both had bought an outfit each, and were carrying them inside.
“Thanks for helping me Stevie.” Jon said to me.
“Awwe, no problem Jonny Boy.” I smiled.
“I’m gonna go and put these in my room now, then I shall start the beautifying process.” He told me seriously.
“Kay, I’m gonna do the same.” I told him, before heading off to my room.
My door was partly open, so I pushed it open only to see something that made me drop my bags.
“W-what are you doing?” I asked Ryan who was busy reading my journal.
He jumped up and looked at me, “I uhh…” he stopped, he didn’t know what to say.
As I’m sure I’ve already said, nobody has ever seen my journals let alone read them!
Tears stung my eyes, and I walked out of my room, up the stairs, and onto the roof.
I sat on the roof, looking out with tears rolling silently down my cheeks.
“Stevie?” Ryan called, and walked out of the window and sat next to me.
“Why?” I asked quietly
“I’m sorry, curiosity got the better of me and…” he sighed, “I truly am sorry.” He told me.
“Ryan, nobody has ever seen my journals, let alone read them! That’s why I write in them!” I told him, resting my head in my hands.
“Stevie, you should have reported it! Not just written it!” he told me.
“I felt ashamed.” I mumbled into my hands.
“Ashamed? Stevie, what he did was not your fault.” Ryan said, as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
I continued to cry, “Why are you still talking to me? Aren’t you ashamed, appalled, or disgusted with me?!” I asked him as I looked him in the eyes.
“No.” he answered simply.
“WH-what? Why?” I asked him, tears continuing to roll down my cheeks.
"Why would I be? You did nothing wrong." He smiled at me.
I smiled, but the tears still fell.
Ryan wiped them away, "Don't cry. He can't hurt you anymore." He told me gently.
"At least now you know why I freaked out the other day." I said.
"I'm really sorry. I'll just take everything slow now." He told me.
"Thankyou." I said as I cuddled into him.
"For what hun?" he asked.
"N-not judging me." I replied.
He kissed the top of my head, "Your welcome." He said.
We stayed up there for a few minutes longer before Ryan's cell phone rang.
He took it out of his pocket and answered it, "Hello?" he asked.
"Where are you? Never mind, we leave in an hour. Get ready!" Spencer said quickly before hanging up.
"Come on babe, let’s go get ready." He smiled before we climbed back through the window.
Ryan helped me through before grabbing my hand, and leading us out of the room.
As we reached his room, I quickly kissed him on the lips before going to my own room to get ready.
Once I got in my room, I had a shower and washed my hair before drying it.
After it was dry, I curled my hair slightly, making it wavy and left it out.
I walked out into my room, clutching the towel against myself as I grabbed my bag of shopping and walked into my wardrobe.
I pulled on my newest outfit and walked back into the bathroom to do my makeup.
Once I was finished, coincidentally there was a knock at my door.
"Stevie? You ready?!" Ryan called through the door.
"Yeah! Just a minute!" I called back.
I checked out my appearance in the mirror and thought it was acceptable.
I grabbed my clutch before walking out of my room to see Ryan.
He smiled when he saw me, "You look beautiful."
I was wearing a short black dress that stopped mid-thigh, with a purple belt around my waist plus my purple beads that Gabe bought me teamed with black ballet style shoes.
I blushed, "Thanks." I said quietly.
"Come on, let’s go." He smiled and grabbed my hand, leading me outside to where a hummerzine was waiting.
"Holy shit!" I said quietly.
Ryan laughed, and I blushed.
We all climbed into the hummerzine and drove away.
I took in what everyone was wearing; Ryan was wearing a white suit top with a patterned vest over the top with matching pants, Spencer was wearing his skinnies with a button up blue top, Brendon was wearing MY blue denim skinnies with a red polo top plus a tan blazer, and Jon was wearing some black skinnies with a white shirt plus grey blazer.
"You guys look great." I said.
"Thanks. So do you!" Brendon said.
"I helped her choose the outfit." Jon said proudly.
"And I helped Jon with his." I replied with a smile.
Ryan wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed my temple.
"What was that for?" I asked him.
He grinned and shrugged, "I wanted to."
"Ok." I replied and kissed his cheek.
Not long later we arrived at a club, when Brendon, Spencer and Jon got out there were flashed everywhere.
I started to shake, "Ry! I-I can't go out there!" I told him.
"What? Why?" he asked confusedly.
"Because they'll find me." I replied quietly.
"Ohh, hang on." He said, and got up to speak to the driver.
A few seconds later, he came back and closed the door.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I told him to go around back." He smiled.
"Thankyou. I'm sorry about this." I said to him.
"There's nothing to be sorry about. I care about you and I don't want anything to happen to you." He said, and leaned in and kissed me tenderly.
The car stopped and Ryan opened the door slightly, checking if anyone was there.
There was only a security guard.
"Come on." Ryan smiled at me before grabbing my hand and leading me outside.
The security guard let us in, and we made our way through the crowd to find the guys.
They were all standing around the front area with confused looks on their faces.
"Hey guys!" Ryan yelled over the music.
"Hey! Where'd you go?" Brendon asked.
"Back way." Ryan replied.
The guys nodded, and we made our way over to a booth.
I looked around the club, people were packed into the dance floor and others were hanging around the outside, talking and laughing.
Many people were dancing, but some were also sitting at the tables and talking.
"What is this party for exactly?" I asked.
"Dunno... All we know is that it’s for decaydance bands." Jon told me.
"Wait! Decaydance bands?!" I asked excitedly.
They all nodded.
"Does that mean that Cobra-"
"Starship is here? You better believe it!" somebody interrupted.
I turned around and saw Gabe and his goofy grin.
"Gabanti!" I squealed happily, getting up and hugging him.
"Princess!" he mocked my tone, hugging me back tightly.
Gabe let go, and I was pulled into another hug by somebody else.
"Stevie! Ohh, I missed you gorgeous!" Vicky told me.
"Vicky! I missed you too!" I told her.
The music was cut and everybody looked around.
"Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the Decaydance gathering!" a voice boomed over the speakers.
I looked towards the stage and saw Pete clutching the microphone in his hand.
"Tonight will be filled with great music, great food and drinks, and of course, great friends! So, on that note, lets get this party started!" he cried.
Everybody cheered and applauded and the music came back on.
Vicky and Gabe said their goodbyes before heading out to the dance floor to party.
Pete came over, "Hey guys! And Stevie." He said happily.
"Hey." We all replied.
They all immediately started talking.
I tapped Ryan's shoulder and he faced me, "I'm gonna go and get a drink. You want anything?" I asked.
"No thanks babe. We'll probably be talking for a while, why don't you hang out with Gabe." He said to me.
"Ok." I replied, and kissed him lightly on the lips before getting up and making my way to the bar.
After drinking the glass of water I had asked for, I went looking for Gabe.
As I was walking through the crowd, somebody grabbed my arm and pulled me towards them.
"William!" I yelled happily, giving him a hug.
"Hey! How you been?" he asked.
"Good. What about you?" I replied.
"Yeah, I've been good. Come on, lets go find the guys. I'm sure they'll be glad to see you." He smiled, grabbing my hand and weaving through the crowd.
"H-he’s not here right?" I asked nervously.
"No, it’s ok." He assured me.
I sighed in relief.
"Stevie!" somebody yelled.
I was rushed into a hug.
"Sisky Biz Bass Wiz." I said happily as we hugged.
I greeted all of the other guys with hugs, and we hung out for awhile.
Gabe eventually joined us.
"Gabe darling, what's the time?" I asked before I let out a yawn.
"11:23pm." He answered.
I yawned again, "Passed somebody’s bedtime is it?" Sisky mocked.
"Oh shut up!" I replied punching him playfully.
After a few more minutes, I couldn't stop yawning.
"I think I'm gonna go back to Ry now guys. It was good seeing you." I said, and hugged them all.
Gabe kissed my forehead, "G'night hun. Love you." He told me.
"Love you too. Bye guys!" I said, and made my way back to Panic's booth.
After making my way through the crowd, I finally came to Panic's booth.
All the guys were talking and laughing.
I made my way over to them, "Hey guys." I smiled.
"Steeeevie!" Ryan said giddily.
"Uhh, hey Ryan." I replied uneasy.
'Is he drunk?' I asked myself.
"W-wanna d-dance?" he stumbled on his words.
"Umm, no thanks hun. I'm ok." I told him.
He shrugged, and took another sip of his drink.
"B-Bren? Are you guys staying here?" I asked.
"No, I think we should get going." He said.
I nodded, and he got up.
As Ryan got up, he fell back down in a fit of giggles.
"Can one of you guys help me with him?" Brendon asked as he helped Ryan up.
Jon got up and helped, and we all walked back outside.
"Here." Spencer said, handing my some sunnies.
"Thanks." I said graciously, putting them on before we got outside.
Once we got outside, there were only one or two flashes.
Not nearly as many when we first arrived.
Spencer was on the phone, and a few minutes after he had hung up, the Hummerzine arrived.
We all helped Ryan into the car, before getting in ourselves, and speeding off back home.
Ryan sat beside me, and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
He was drunk, everybody else was slightly tipsy or buzzed, but not as much as Ryan.
He kissed my forehead before giggling.
Before we got back home, he had fallen asleep.
Brendon and Jon once again helped him out, and we all walked up to the house.
When we got inside, I helped Jon take Ryan upstairs to his room.
He woke up on the way upstairs and giggled again.
Once he was safely on the bed, Jon left and I helped Ryan get changed.
I helped him get into a loose shirt, and track pants.
Once he was under the covers, I leant down and kissed his cheek.
"G'night Ry." I said softly.
He moaned, "No stay, please." He pleaded sleepily.
"Uhh, ok. Just let me go and get changed." I said.
He nodded sleepily, and I walked downstairs to my room.
After pulling off my clothes and changing into my PJ's, I quickly washed my face, said goodnight to the guys and made my way back upstairs to Ryan's room.
I climbed into bed beside him, and closed my eyes.
He wrapped his arms around me, and nuzzled his head into my neck.
Ryan's breaths grew slow, and I fell asleep to the consistency of them.

'"Stop!" I cried, shielding my face from another blow.
"Shut up you worthless bitch!" my father yelled, kicking my hard in the stomach.
I clutched my stomach, "Please... Stop." I said breathlessly.
He reached down and grabbed me by the hair, "Don't. Tell. Me. What. To. Do." He said through gritted teeth before throwing me against the wall.
I cried out in pain, and slumped down to the floor.
My mother was laughing hysterically, and my father was glaring at me.
He delivered another kick before spitting on me.
"Worthless bitch." He muttered angrily before kicking me one final time and walking out the front door with my mother behind him.'

I woke shaking, tears had stained my cheeks, and new ones were flowing.
"Stevie? Hun are you ok?" Ryan asked sleepily.
I turned around and held onto him, my tears soaking his shirt.
"Hey, hey, hey. It’s ok." He said, gently rocking me back and forth.
I was still sobbing and hiccoughed.
Ryan lifted my head up and kissed me gently on the lips, "I'm here, and you’re ok." He told me.
I nodded and snuggled into his chest.
It took me a long time to get back to sleep.
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