FicWad

Nigel woke up before the birds the next day to leave for an early class leaving Rachel a note on the empty pillow.


“Sleep tight my little butterfly I’ll check in on you when I have a free moment I promise, let’s just hope your cell has an alarm” Nigel whispered kissing Rachel’s forehead and quietly slipping out.


“Hey buddy I actually have a girl in my room to keep me warm at night, and to think that she’s your bully when she used to be mine”. Hoagie said with a cold slice of pizza in his hand.


“Yea I would really like for you to talk to her about that Hoges, I mean come on what harm did I ever bring to Fanny Fullbright?”.


“None but she needs somebody to down and I guess this year your it, I was it all through school so I’m used to being the it chew toy to Fanny Fullbright”.


Art Of Losing played from Hoagies bedroom as Hoagie knew that Fanny finally decided to wake up.


“Chill here for a second Nigel I’m going to see if my little snuggle bug wants to split a breakfast with me this morning” Hoagie said as Fanny danced across the room with nothing on and Hoagie had to fight the urge to throw her on the bed and get a quickie before class.


Fanny(Singing) Whoaaaaa whoa ohhhhh
Whoaaaaa whoa ohhhhh
Last call and I’m out of time
And I don’t got no Valentine
Singled out now I stand alone
The Underdog in a modern world
Suburbia’s hot tonight
But nothing seems to feel alright
I don’t want your sympathy
I just need a little therapy
At least that’s what they say to me


“Fanny honey would you like to go get some breakfast before class or would you rather stay here giving me fantasies of you all day?” Hoagie asked as Fanny threw a damp pink towel at him playfully.


“Hoges can we hurry this up we don’t have all day to stand around waiting for you to get your lame ass girlfriend ready for breakfast.


“Greetings brethren I had the best sex of my life last night and It’s all thanks to a girl in an oversized green sweater who looks better in a green teddy but that’s my personal opinion” Wally said as Hoagie could just grin waiting for Fanny to join him in the hall


Fanny Hey ho let’s go
Gonna start a riot
You don’t want to fight it
1 2 fuck you
Don’t tell me what to do
I don’t want to be like you
Can’t you see it’s killing me
I’m my own worst enemy
Knock me down and I keep on moving
And that’s the art of losing


“So Hoges how long did you and Fanny get acquainted with Judd Appatow last night?, I mean did you at least finish Superbad?” Wally asked as Hoagie just smiled and shook his head.


“No we spent the night last night getting to know each other between the sheets if you know what I mean, Fanny and I are like one soul in two bodies thanks to Nigel and Rachel last night” Hoagie said as Kuki walked up half asleep and pecking Wally on the lips.


“I want to thank you for the great night last night Walls, so when do you think we could do it again?” Kuki asked as The boys hung on to Kuki’s every word.



Well since you conveniently left your green teddy in my room let’s say tonight, and the night after that, and the night after that, and so on and so forth” Wally said kissing Kuki as Fanny belted out Art Of Losing


Fanny Whoaaaaa whoa ohhhhh
Whoaaaaa whoa ohhhhh
Fit the mold and do what your told
Get a job and start growing old
9 to 5 can make your dreams come true
But I don’t wanna be like you
I’m not cool and I’ll never be
I’ll break the rules at a guarantee
I don’t want your sympathy
I just need a little therapy
At least that’s what they say to me


“Hoges can we just ditch her and come back when she’s not in the American Hi Fi mood?, or are we going to stick around all day like magnets waiting for her to come back to Earth” Nigel asked as Wally and Hoagie both knew that Nigel was going to get it once Fanny came back from singing.


“Well seeing we value our internal organs and you don’t we’re waiting, because if we ditch her it’ll be the last thing we ever do” Wally said as Nigel huffed angrily and leaned against the wall as Fanny even though she was singing hung on his every word.


“Nigel do you honestly think that Fanny is just going to let you get away with the things your saying about her?” Kuki asked speaking up for once.

Fanny Hey ho let’s go
Gonna start a riot
You don’t want to fight it
1 2 fuck you
Don’t tell me what to do
I don’t want to be like you
Can’t you see it’s killing me
I’m my own worst enemy
Knock me down and I keep on moving
And that’s the art of losing


“Is she going to sing the whole song?, because if she is I’m afraid I’d have to be like Simon Cowell and say that she’s absolutely abysmal” Nigel said as the other three just shook their heads at him.


“You asked for this Nigel just remember that when she beats your head in, you asked for her to beat your head in” Wally said as Fanny was making mental notes of all the bad things said about her.


“Maybe you should get on your hands and knees and worship the ground Fanny walks on Nigel, at least that way your beating won’t be so much of a beating” Kuki said as Nigel shrugged his shoulders and ran off for the boys room to hide.


Fanny You call me a loser
Say I’m just a user
But I’ll keep on moving
Cause that’s the art o losing
2 3 4 Hey ho let’s go
Gonna start a riot
You don’t want to fight it
1 2 fuck you
Don’t tell me what to do
I don’t want to be like you
Can’t you see it’s killing me
I’m my own worst enemy
Knock me down and I keep on moving
And that’s the art of losing



Hoagie and Wally We’re the kids
We’re the kids
We’re the kids of America
We’re the kids
We’re the kids
We’re the kids in America


Fanny smiled when the song was over and stormed into the hall in a long sundress and sandals Charlie horsing Nigel as she passed.


“And round one goes to Fanny Abigail Fullbright as Nigel Uno goes down for the count, and as for your answer Hoagie I would love to split a breakfast with you” Fanny said snuggling with Hoagie as Nigel fell to the floor instantly.


“Your lucky that’s all you got Uno, I mean with all the things you said about me I could have given you the atomic wedgie but I limited myself to the Charlie Horse instead”.


“What is it with you hitting me all the time Fullbright?, I mean when Hoagie was your chew toy he didn’t get hit as much as I did” Nigel said as Hoagie just smirked at Nigel.


“Your right I didn’t get hit as much as you did I got hit a zillion times worse than you Nigel, she just did it when there was nobody around” Hoagie said as Nigel slowly stood up rubbing his leg painfully.


“You’d think it hurts me to see you in so much pain Uno but the truth is I could give two shits what happens to you” Fanny said as Hoagie laughed and walked with Wally and Fanny down the hall.


“Well you should care because I’m dating your best friend Fullbright, or does that score any points with you at all” Nigel asked as Fanny tripped him and he went sprawling into a girl in a black skirt, clogs, and a white blouse and she looked up surprised.


“I’m so sorry the names Nigel here let me help you pick up your books and Ipod, and then maybe I can match a name to the face” Nigel said as Fanny just shook her head at him.


“It’s Merisel and I didn’t know going to this College would make me Indiana Jones running from the big rock in the Temple Of Doom” The girl said grabbing her Ipod and books from Nigel as he couldn’t help but watch her swing her hips back and forth as she left.


“Earth to chew toy you have a girlfriend and she answers to the name Rachel Mckenzie that is if you even remember her at all” Fanny said as Nigel shook Merisel out of his head and Fanny shook her head at him.


“Uno I think your going to need some adjustments if your going to stay with Rachel, and number one is don’t woman hop when she’s with you”.


Kuki’s face turned as green as her sweater as she ran for the bathroom with onlookers bolting out of her way.


“She’s been sick this morning, she says it might be the pizza we had last night, but she didn’t get sick until this morning so that got me thinking that it can’t be the pizza” Wally said as a thin smile crept over Fanny’s face as she bolted for the bathroom.


“Kooks are you in here we need to have a heart to heart you know woman to woman, because you may be able to fool Wally Beatles but you can’t fool the likes of me” Fanny said as Kuki could be heard puking in the stall in front of her.

“I’m here but if you want to talk it’s going to have to wait, my tummy’s having an argument with my digested food at the moment Fan” Kuki said weakly puking some more.


“All right I can wait just as long as you can, and I got you a soda to wash the after taste from your mouth because Lord knows you don’t want to kiss Wally with an aftertaste” Fanny said as the door opened and Kuki held her stomach with one hand and grabbed the soda with another hand.


“Fanny if I tell you something can you keep a secret?, I mean don’t tell anybody including Rachel unless I’m really sure about this thing I might be”.


“Kooks we were bunkmates at Rainbow Monkey Camp, you shared all of your Rainbow Monkey’s with me, and out of all the girls I can honestly say you’re my best friend so yeah I can keep your secret”.


“I think I might be pregnant because I was supposed to have my period today and it never happened, and I told Wally not to use protection because I heard it was better that way” Kuki said ashamed as Fanny stared shocked at her.


“Kooks it may feel better but have you lost your everloving mind?, I mean just look at Health class, why do you think Mrs. Jacobs told us to stay abstinent?” Fanny asked as Kuki cried on Fanny’s shoulder.


“Shhhhhhhh we’re going to make it through girl, I mean you’ve been through worse things in your life like meeting Stevie for example”.


“How the hell am I going to tell Wally that he may or may not be a daddy?, I mean what’s to say he’s ready for a kid after High School?”.


“Whether or not he’s ready for one it’s coming Kooks, and you and him are going to raise the little bundle of joy if it kills me” Fanny said as Kuki shook her head no another ashamed look coming over her face.


“I made my decision already Fan and there are choices that I have to make myself, one I can get an abortion and kill the baby, two I can put it up for adoption, three I leave it on an orphanage steps, or four we keep it and raise it as our own” Kuki said her whole body shaking as she looked in the mirror.


“Girl I know you and your not the killing type, putting it up for adoption would kill you inside, ditching it at an orphanage would kill me inside because I grew up in an orphanage, so there’s really one more option left and I think you’ll make the good decision”.


Kuki nodded her head a look of the deepest pride coming over her face as she walked into the hall and saw the boys hanging out by the concession machine.


“Boys can Wally and I get some time alone we have a lot to talk about and I don’t think the conversation calls for his friends” Kuki said as the boys knew what that meant and ran in different directions.

“Nigel Uno if your around I’m going to pulverize you for turning the alarm off this morning, now make it easy on yourself and tell me where you are” Rachel screamed hastily throwing her backpack over her shoulder and Rachel saw Kuki and Wally talking.


“So here’s the deal Wallybear I’m late and my aunt is visiting let’s just leave it at that, now what are we going to do about it?” Kuki asked as Wally looked confused.


“Late for what Kooks, and I thought you liked your aunt Mimi, or was it your aunt Linda that you liked I could never keep track of your favorite aunts” Wally said as an angry fire erupted inside of Kuki.


“God do I have to spell it out for you?, I think I might be pregnant is that pretty straight forward or would you like me to draw you a picture of the fetus too?”.


“So then why all the talk of you being late and your aunt visiting I mean why not just come right out and say your pregnant?”.


“She just did you idiot, she’s saying that she hasn’t had her period yet in every sense of the word, and she may be pregnant and wants to know what your going to do about it” Rachel said stepping from the shadows.


“Thanks Rache at least somebody here can stay on the same page as me, now do try and follow the conversation Wally, I haven’t had my period yet and I’m hoping I have it soon because I’ve never been late before” Kuki said as Wally could almost see the fear in Kuki’s eyes and voice.


“Well if you are pregnant I’ll help take care of the little bundle of joy Kooks, I mean the baby is mine right?” Wally asked as Kuki just stared at him with her lips pursed.


“How could you even ask me that Wally?, of course the babies yours I mean who else could have fathered my baby?”


“Gee I don’t know maybe it’s the guy you threw away in jail for a life sentence, I mean come on Kooks face it there’s a great possibility that this baby could be his too”.


“You’re a real jerk you know that?, and until you can see that this baby is yours you won’t be seeing me or my green teddy anymore I’m cutting you off” Kuki said shoving past him bawling as Rachel ran after her.


“Nice going Wallabee Beatles you just screwed every other chance you may have with the girl of your dreams, and for what a baby scare that she’s so sure is yours?” Wally’s mind asked as Wally couldn’t stand to look at himself at this point.


“Do you have any idea what you just did to her Wally?, she’s already scarred by Stevie enough as it is and there you go telling her she could be holding his baby” Rachel said as Wally just bulldozed past Rachel to find Kuki.

“Kooks come on you know you can’t stop talking to me for too long, I mean you’ve tried half a dozen times but it hardly ever works” Wally said as a sniffling was heard in his dorm.


“Don’t worry I was just leaving and you can rest your pretty little head about the bundle of joy because I’m going to get an abortion” Kuki said still bawling as Wally held his arm out to her and she turned to face him.


“Just leave me the fuck alone you asshole, your right it could be Stevie’s and I’ll be damned if me or you are going to raise the next spawn of Satan while Stevie dies in jail”.


“Kuki I was an idiot to say something like that, it’s just that I was scared and I didn’t know what to say at that point so I said the first thing that came to mind and I guess I shouldn’t have said anything” Wally said as Kuki collapsed in his arms her bawling slowly fading.


“I’m just scared to death Wally I mean what if the unborn baby is Stevie’s?, how are we going to raise him not to be like his father?” Kuki asked as Wally looked into her mascara stained, blue eyes.


“Kooks we are going to raise this kid to be like me whether or not it’s Stevie’s, I will be there for you whenever you need me”.


Kuki slowly broke from Wally with a smile on her face as he smiled back and she threw her green see through teddy on the floor and took her hand in his.


“I’ll go to the doctor today just to be one hundred and ten percent sure that I’m pregnant, and if not than praise God and we’re going to start using condoms, if I am then I know that I got the best daddy figure in the world standing right in front of me”.


“What did you get all over your shirt Wallykins ketchup or something?, I mean it’s really red and it looks like blood or something” Kuki said as Wally looked down and screamed in fright.


“Kooks that is blood it’s period blood, and that means that your not pregnant and we can start practicing safe sex” Wally said as Kuki ran for his bathroom and screamed with joy.


“Yes no more baby, no more baby, no more baby ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Wallykins we’re stepping out tonight and like you said we’re practicing safe sex”.


“Good because I don’t think any of us are ready for a baby just yet Kooks, I mean we’re still just kids ourselves.


Kuki smiled at this because she knew that one day Wally was going to make one hell of a dad.