Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Losing the Feeling of Feeling Unique


by RyanRossLuver 1 review

July 2007

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Angst,Drama,Romance - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2008-05-08 - Updated: 2008-05-08 - 1190 words - Complete

Yeah, I'm updating this one again, though it follows no real plot line at the moment. I've been in a dilemma as to whether to continue writing days at a time of Panic's lives or whether I should skip a bit, and because of a few plans I hvae, I'm skipping to the start of July the following year, when the boys were originally in the cabin recording, before they scrapped the album and before they started performing 'True Love' and 'Nine in the Afternoon'.

PanicFOBAcademy26 - you're my only reviewer this time...:( Yeah, it was really heartwrenching for me to write that chapter. And he's still going to come into play a lot in future chapters.

And for all those who have my msn, I've changed it, just so I know who is from this website and not my various other friends. My FicWad MSN is now:

So it was now July 2007, and I had been dragged away from my beautiful home in Chicago with William, AJ, Sisky and Michael to join Panic in a cabin, in the middle of the mountains, in the middle of nowhere. Actually it was just on the edge of Nevada, but it felt like the middle of nowhere as there was minimal internet access and you'd be incredibly lucky to get reception for your cell phone. We had been here for almost two months now, and tomorrow were leaving for Milwaukee, WI, for Summerfest, which is the next day, July 7th. I was looking forward to it becuase neither the guys or I had come across a stage for almost three months. Anyway, we were frantically running around the cabin, trying to gather up all the things we had so as not to leave them behind, before we caught a cab to the nearest city to crash the night before getting a 6 am flight to Milwaukee.
By the time we made it in the cab and were off to the city, Brendon had gotten less hyper, Ryan was half aleep on his boyfriend, and I was soon to join him, making myself comfortable on Jon's shoulder, which was probably one of the comfiest shoulders I had come across in a while.

I was gently shaken awake a while later, when the cabbie announced that we were at the hotel and could check in. While the boys went and did that, I ran to the nearet shops for some, uh, painkillers, for that, and I picked up the latest issue of AP and a copy of today's LA Times. I paid for the items before rushing back to the hotel, up to our suite and claiming the bed I wanted, in the same room as Ryan, and sat down to read my paper. Ryan started pulling out the things he'd need for today/tomorrow, while I made myself comfortable and began laughing about Paris, Britney and Amy and the latest trouble they were all in. But when I flicked the page, tears sprung to my eyes. I read what was plastered beneath the offending picture, and that made the fall down my cheeks.

"That bastard!" I screamed, throwing the tabloid as far away from me as possible and breaking down, pulling my knees to my chest and rocking myself gently. /I can't believe he'd do that to me, after all his promises/.

"Honey, what's up?" Ryan asked, and I just lifted a shakey hand in the direction of the discarded paper. He went over and opened up to the page where I had previously been, and growled under his breath.

"I'm gonna kill him. There is no way he can treat my sister like that," he said, throwing the paper in the trash, right where it belonged.

"Please...Ryan. No...please don't." I croaked out. He came over to me and pulled me into his embrace, just as a re-perkified Brendon charged into the room, presumably looking for some alone time with his boyfriend.

"Nia, whats wrong?" He asked sympathetically, sitting at the foot of my bed.

"W-W-William c-ch-cheated on m-m-m-m-me. A-and s-said that h-he's benn d-dating her f-f-for t-t-th-three months. I-I knew he was screwing w-with my head," I admitted, letting out a huge sigh and laying back down. I heard my cell phone ringing from the main suite area, and got up and rushed to it. Caller I.D stated it as William.

"Hello?" I said, wanting to start of politely before dumping him.

"Hey baby, what's up?"

"I'll tell you whats up! You've been cheating on me for three months, and you've been lying about it. You keep telling me that you love me, and then you decide to break my heart in the way you know will hurt me most. You're the only one I trusted, and I can't believe you took that for granted. I gave you everything, and you return it all to me broken and dishevelled. Well you know what William? Be with your slut and forget about me. Forget about the girl who needed something stable in her life. Forget the girl who needed a father for her child. Foget the girl who trusted you after her past. Forget everything we've been through for the past year and a half. Because that's all it is to me - a terrible memory. Well fuck your memories. I don;t need you!" I yelled before hanging up. I looked up from the floor, where I had been staring for the entire conversation, and noticed Jon and Spencer staring at me, wide-eyed and mouths agape.

"What?" I asked, thoroughly pissed.

"N-nothing," they both muttered before going off to their room. I was so tired and confused, and my head was pounding from all the crying and shouting that I headed back to my room, collapsed on my bed, curled up into Ryan who was still laying there and promptly fell asleep.


I awoke to the horribleness of Brendon jumping on the end of my bed.

"Hyperactive little..." I trailed off, grumbling at him under my breath. I changed into a tartan mini skirt over ripped fishnets, my good ole goth boots, a black cropped tee and the black diamond choker Pete bought me way back when. I touseled my hair so it didn't look so straight and applied eyeliner, mascara, red lipgloss and a little eyeshadow before emerging into the suite with my suitcase and laptop bag.

"Let's go!" Jon announced. How he could be so perky at 5am was beyond me, but it was Jon Walker we were on about...probably snuck a little something something into his morning coffee.


Milwaukee. Hot. Blistering hot. And the boys had to play a show. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. And their clothes were sticking to them. And they were using all their water to cool themselves down, not drinking it. And I was pissed at my break-up and combating PMS and trying to stay cool, all the while trying to be there for my brother and my best friends and only family I had left - Aren't I a depressing little specimen!
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