Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Losing the Feeling of Feeling Unique

Pain, Truth, Lies and Comfort

by RyanRossLuver 1 review

"It's Dad." "What did the bastard do now?"

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Angst,Drama,Romance - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2008-04-29 - Updated: 2008-04-29 - 1765 words - Complete

Now, sorry for the wait. I now know when I won't be able to update, and that will be the weekend of 28/29/30/31 May, as those are the dates I'm moving/won't have internet hooked up; and I'll be able to update more often as I'll have a desktop in my bedroom!

PanicFOBAcademy26 - BINSWOY, not BILSWOY, will be updated once I move, as beside moving I have a lot on at school, and I need to remember what I'm doing in it, unlike this one where its following the lives of the boys...and there may be threesomes later, especially for you!

Anyways, on with the show:


I woke up, glaring at the red numbers of my alarm clock, hearing shuffling and the distinct sound of suitcase zips. The clock blared 7:03am back at me, and I rose; the sheets falling away from my naked body. I ran my hands through my hair, pushing it away from my face and behind my shoulders. I hauled myself out of bed and hunted for my underwear, slipping them on before padding into the bathroom to wash my face, instead meeting William.

"Did I wake you sugar?" He asked, pulling me into a brief hug. I pulled away and rubbed my eyes, which I realised were lightly leaking tears.

"No, you had nothing to do with it." I noticed a bag of toiletries in his hand, and almost instantaneously more tears sprung to my eyes.

"Why do you have to leave so soon?" I choked out, trying to hide the tears. He pulled me back into an embrace and rocked me against his body, gently shushing me as I let the dams break and the waterfalls that were my tears run their course.

"Sugar, I have to go," he said a while later, kissing my head.

"Why is it so hard?" I asked, pulling away, drying my tears and heading back to the main room, extracting my suitcase from the closet. I threw in yesterday's things after pulling out a blck mini-dress, black woollen tights and my black and red checkered vans.

"We're both new to this whole relationship thing. But I promise to call you everyday, at least twice a day. And I'll send you e-mails. We'll make it through this, no matter what," he said, placing his washbag in his suitcase and zipping it up, placing it with his laptop bag by the door. A knock could be heard from it moments later, and William opened it, revealing Sisky.

"Time to go Bill," he said. William came over to me and hugged me tight.

"Have fun," I said to him as we broke apart, and he nodded, heading to the door.

"See you soon Nia!" Sisky shouted as William picked up his bags and left the room, muttering 'I love you'.


After showering, changing and packing my things, I headed to one of the rooms where the boys were staying, before being dragged unceremoniously out of the hotel and onto their bus. After getting settled in, I sat myself down in my bunk, across from Ryan and Brendons - they insisted on sharing one, even thoguht they were tiny and cramped - and pulle dout my portable dvd player and slipping in a disc of the second season of Roswell - hey, it's my guilty pleasure! It was the episode where Alex died, and I couldn't help but cry. Of course, at that moment in time Ryan decides to walk through the bunks to check on me.

"Nia hiney, why are you crying?" He asked.

"Just Roswell," I replied, showing him the screen of the portable dvd player.

"As long as you're okay," he said, lying down beside me, pulling me into a hug and watching Roswell with me. By the end of the disc, I was fast asleep in Ryan's arms, dreaming of the days when Brendon and Ryan were first together, Spencer and I were together, Panic! At the Disco was just a dream, and we were enjoying being young.


"Nia! Nia wake up! It's Dad," Ryan said whilst shaking me awake.

"What has that bastard done now?" I asked, rubbing my bleary eyes and sitting up, banging my head against the top of the bunk.

"Oww, fuck that hurt!" I looked over to a dishevelled Ryan.

"Honey, whats up?" I asked.

"Dad...he...died, earlier today," Ryan replied. I couldn't move. The man who used to torment me and cause me so much pain had gone, and I was frozen. I couldn't move, blink, speak - hell, I couldn't even breathe. I knew it was bad when I heard Ryan call out for help and saw black began to seep into my peripheral vision. I tried my hardest to breathe, but I just couldn't draw in the much needed oxygen. I was crying out in pain internally, and Ryan heard me - I know it sounds weird, but ever since we were born, we've had a bind, and can tell when the other is in pain. My eyes were subconciously clouding over with tears, and I could make out the faint blur of Ryan and Jon trying to calm me down and help ease my pain. But all too soon were the visions cut short as I plunged into unconsiousness, and to be honest, it was a real breath of fresh air - excuse the cliche.


I felt myself slowly rouse, taking in the darkened room and non-inruding, non-existent sunlight. To the right of the bed I was laying in was Brendon, curled up and asleep on Ryan, who was also asleep; and to my left, Cassie, who was awake and smiling.

"What are you doing in here?" I croaked out, aware of the hoarseness and breathlessness of my voice.

"Jon had to get some coffee, so I took over watch for him. He's William's liason - making sure everyone treats you right and you stay safe," she added, answering the question that was scurrying through my mind.

"He hasn't told William yet, has he? Cause I really don't want him to know."

"No, not yet. He was going to wait until you woke and then ask you before calling," Cassie replied, lowering her voice to a whisper as Brendon stirred slightly.

"How long was I out for? And what time is it now?" I asked in a harsh whisper, not wanting to wake either Brendon or Ryan.

"It's 11pm, and you've been out for almost 12 hours," Jon said, walking into the room with four coffee's in hand. I could feel my mouth salivating at the thought of the hot, caffienated beverage. Brendon woke up, immediately smelling the coffee, shooting out of Ryans lap - waking him in the process - and grabbing a styrofoam mug from Jon and cradling it in his hands as Ryan stood up.

"My precious," he said in his best Golem like voice, making all of us laugh - even if it hurt to do so. Ryan noticed I was awake and pulled me into his arms, and I melted into the embrace.

"You don't know how happy it makes me to see you're alright. I only just got you back, and I can't afford to lose you again," he said, pulling me closer.

"I love you," I whispered to him, letting my tears flow once more.

"I love you too baby, never forget that," he replied as Brendon, Jon and Cassie broke out into a chorus of 'Awws'.

"I didn't keep you from a show, did I?" I asked, pulling away and drying my tears.

"Your safetly is more important than any show," Brendon said, offereing me his coffee. I took a small sip before handing it back, and could feel it bringing colour back into my face. Spencer came throught the door to what I'm guessing was either a hotel or a hospital. I must ask them in a minute.

"Nia, you're awake. I was so worried," he said, and he looked genuinly worried.

"There's no need to be worried about me, especially since we're not together anymore," I said, lying back down and pulling the comforter up to my neck.

"I can never not be worried. You're my sister now Virgina, no matter how you try to phrase it."

"Okay, I'm cool with that. Umm, where am I though?"

"We're in the hotel room. Well, our side of the room - its a connecting room," Ryan said.

"You, Brendon and Ryan are in here; and Spencer, Jon, Hayley and myself are in the other room, which you can get to through that door," Cassie explained, pointing to an oak door on the left side of the room.

"Thanks. But w-w-what h-hap-happened?" I asked, my childhood stutter returning.

"You had a panic attack - excuse the pun - and your body shut down. Zach and the medical staff member who saw you said you'd be fine after a bit of bed rest," Ryan replied, delving into the mystery that was my pain.

'Glad to know what happened," I said, emmitting a yawn which soon everyone caught onto.

"Well, me and Jon are gonna retire now - there's only so long one can live off coffee, unlike those My Chemical Romance boys. Night all!" Cassie said as she and Jon disappeared behind the door.

"I'm going to head off too - I told Hayley I'd only be a minute," Spencer added, also leaving.

"I'm...I'm g-g-g-gonna c-ca-call it a n-n-ni-night too. I l-l-love you Ryan. You t-too B-B-Bren-Brendon," I stuttered out, rolling over and closing my eyes. I felt a pair of lips kiss my temple, followed by a 'sweet dreams' whispered by Brendon, and a kiss on the lips from Ryan, which I prolongued a bit, enjoying the slight intimacy of our relationship - when I'm sad or hurt, he can kiss me and make it all go away; same with when I'm scared - we don't mean it in any incestuous way, honestly!

"Night baby," he whispered to me, and I could hear the creaking of the other bed as Ryan and Brendon lay down and got comfortable. it was an amazing feeling, being surrounded by friends and family alike once more.
I can't wait to see if they let me or make me go onstage soon

Now I don;t know whether I'm going to skip some time to New Years Eve for the Carson Daly performance. What do you guys think? I need help deciding this.

Please Review and Rate - if It's worth rating that is!

xox Emmi
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