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Dear Bill,

I'm not surprised by your letter. I expected you to write. But it was the apology that came as a surprise. I'm quite touched that you did that. To be honest Bill, we were as bad as each other. I'd do something and you'd lash out because I'd hurt you. But instead of learning from my mistakes, I'd do it again to provoke you. You're only human and I couldn't expect you to be happy about my cheating.

And that's what I want to apologise for. There's no excuse for fucking around behind the back of the one you love but I did it because I was terrified of breaking you. Every time I looked into your eyes I could see how much you loved me but behind that I could see the fear of what would happen if you were. I so wanted to make love to you but couldn't bear to think of the mess you'd be in if your father found out. But I'll never forget when we finally did it. I still think about it and I hope that you do too. I suppose I shouldn't be so vain as to think that you hold that night in the same beautiful light that I do.

Every time I cheated, I was filled with guilt. Guilty that I'd cheated on you, the person I'd chased for so long and finally gotten. Your beatings helped get rid of the guilt I felt for cheating. I deserved everything you gave me Bill, every beating, every fight, every vocal scrap. Because I was a loser. I cheated on you because I thought I was doing what was right. When I should have been at home, loving you and protecting you from the man who hit you. You're nothing like your father. All you did was take out your pain on the person who was causing it. And you were right to. I learnt my lesson because of you Bill and I can only thank you for that.

You were, are, and forever will be, my true love,
Izzy

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Dear Izzy,

Your letter - woah! You can't believe how happy I was to see your handwriting on the envelope. It was like some kind of gift of the gods.

Not only had you not torn up my other letter but you'd replied. Izz... Woah... I don't know what to say. All I can say is that I still love you. Love you from the very bottom of my heart. You're my everything Izz. My sun, my moon and my stars. I don't know why you chased me as hard as you did because I would have gladly fallen into your arms and stayed there forever. I'm sorry that I outed you to the school. I shouldn't have done it but you had hurt me. And now I understand why. Thank you for not wanting to break me. My father would have killed me if he found out I'd been sleeping with anyone, especially a man. But you never really were a man. You weren't really a girl either. You were caught somewhere in between, beautiful and slender. When you came to me I couldn't believe my luck. I'd been watching you and I just wanted to touch you. That night when you first kissed me, I couldn't stop jacking off. The feel of your lips against mine was heaven and it was all I could think about morning, noon and night.I'll always love you Izzy. No matter what you think of yourself, no matter how badly you think you've treated me, I'll always love you. And if I ever get out of here, I'd love to be wrapped up safely in your arms again.

Yours, now and forever,
Bill

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Dear Bill,

I'm starting to look forward to your letters. It's a break from the monotony of looking after Slash. He barely talks, barely moves, barely eats. Just mourns. Sorry, I don't want to make you feel any more guilty than you already do. I'm sure this case will be open and shut as your hand wasn't even on the gun when it went off. At the most it may be a manslaughter. You're not going to the gas chamber, baby.

And when you get out, well, we'll have to see. I love you Bill, but I don't want to make any promises just yet. I know my feelings for you will never change. I'll always love you but, well, I don't know what's going to happen from one day to the next. I feel that I should be here for Slash. He was there for me and I feel that I should see this through to the end. I hope you understand? But I'll always be at the end of a letter. And I'll always dream of you, always jerk off and think your name as I whispers Slash's.

And you'll always be my perfect red-haired lover.
Izzy

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Dear Izzy,

Your letters are a blessing, a link to the outside world. I hope you're right and this is only a manslaughter charge. I don't like it in here Izz. Guys keep staring at me like they're going to drag me to some corner and rape me. I don't want to go through that. I don't want to scream like I did when my father raped me. And I don't want to hear your voice screaming in my head as the memories of what I did to you run through my mind. I hate myself for raping you. Hate myself for making you bleed. You didn't deserve to go through what I went through. I promise, that if I get out of this mess, I'll love you like I should have done. I'll do all the sweet things a boyfriend's supposed to do.

But Izz, I'm so scared. If the state kill me, will you be there? Will you be the one to hold my hand and dry my tears before they take me away? Because if I see you sitting outside that chamber then I'll be able to die with dignity. And I'll always watch over you. I'll be the ray of sunlight in the corner, the soft breeze that tickles your hair. The executed angel, forever at the side of the only angel that walks this earth.

But if I get out and you're if you're still with Slash, all I ask is that I can spend one last night in your arms. One last night inhaling your scent and stroking your hair. One last night kissing your beautiful lips and gazing into your soft eyes. You're my everything Izz.

Love forever,
Bill.