FicWad

"You're leaving me?" I asked, disbelief evident in my voice "Is there someone else? Someone better?"

I couldn't comprehend what was going on. Everything had been great between us; smooth sailing and now he wanted it to end? I didn't get it. I thought I was a good girlfriend, a great girlfriend in fact. I wasn't clingy and possessive or anything. I didn't over react to everything, and I can honestly say I never ever had the urge to ask him if a dress made my ass look fat. I thought I was enough for him. Maybe I was wrong.

"No. Elizabeth, listen. I'm not breaking up with you...I just..." He held my face in his hands trying to get me to look at him. It was in vain. I pushed his hands from mine, looking to the ground and blinking back tears. I never cried in front of anyone, even Brendon. But standing here now crying was the one thing my eyes wanted desperately to do.

I wouldn't, however, I wouldn't dare let myself cry in front of him.

"It's the band. We're going to get signed by Pete Wentz. You know 'The Pete Wentz'. This is my chance, you always told me to follow my dreams and now I am!" He sounded like a kid who had just received the best present ever, and I was telling him he had to give it back.

His eyes sparkled in a way that I have never seen before, music made his eyes sparkle in a way that I never could. I. Me. What would happen to me? Where would I be without him? How will I end up? We'd been together for seven months, we'd been friends for five years, most of my life’s happiness was wrapped up in him and he wanted to throw it all away? For music?

"So the chance of fame comes along and you just fuck off, is that it? Everyone knowing your name and having more money than you know what to do with means more than...than...this ever did! Jesus, Brendon, what about me?" I asked, trying not to let my frustration show, but it had.

"What about you?" He replied, losing his temper. My heart stopped then resumed beating at a far more rapid pace. I couldn't believe it. In fact, the more I thought about it the more I realised that I could believe it. It was obvious; he didn't love me, not as much as he loved music. What about you? Those words stung more than he knew.

But they were true. What about me? What about me was so special that he couldn't afford to gamble it. Nothing. He was my everything, and I was just something for him to pass the time. I was with him because I wanted to make him happy; he was with me because he wanted to be happy. He could get love elsewhere, thousands upon thousands of adoring fans, and as for me? Well, what about me? He said it, loud and clear.

His eyes showed no remorse. He was cold; still, this wasn't the Brendon I knew, the Brendon I loved, and the Brendon whose mere presence sent shivers down my spine.

"I need you." It was pathetic, I know, it was one of the pettiest, weakest and most pathetic things that had ever passed my lips but I couldn't take it back. And just because it was pathetic, doesn't mean it was any less true.

I clung onto his hand as if I was drowning, and in a way I was. If I wasn't so damn stubborn I would probably be drowning in my own tears. But I wasn't so I just grabbed onto his hand, looking into his eyes for what could be the last time.

"Well I don't need you!" He shouted making me jump, ripping his hand from mine. "Ever since I met you all you have done is follow me around and suffocate me and I was always there for you. I'm sick of it! I'm not your pillar of support that you can rely on whenever you feel the need, I have a life too! I need to live it and I can't when everywhere I turn all I see is you backing me into a corner making me put my life on hold to suit your needs. I'm going to Chicago whether you like it or not! Music means more to me than you ever could, ever did and probably ever would."

I just hoped right then that his heart was breaking as much as mine was. Every word was like a knife being plunged into my back.

"But I love you." I said timidly falling into his arms and allowing him to envelop me into a hug. Everything felt right again, I could hear his heart beating, feel his chest rising and falling, and I could feel his breath in my hair. I chanced a glance into his eyes and saw how pained he was.

Pained. That wasn't how you were meant to look when someone said they loved you, not when you loved them back. It became clear then that he didn't love me back. He never did.

He probably just pitied me. All along, it wasn't love, it was pity. I wondered whether I should let him go, let him walk out of my life forever. What was the use fighting for him if it was clearly obvious that I didn't have a chance? But something inside me wouldn't let me let him leave. Something wasn't right, I knew it.

"Wait, Brendon. Please!" I shouted running after him, grabbing his arm. "You can't leave like this."

But he didn't listen, pushing me away he walked right out of my life. Now I knew I had lost him, I had no other choice other than to let him leave, let him walk out. But not without knowing how much he had hurt me.

"You know, it's funny. I thought I loved you." He stopped then, turning to face me, listening to the end of my rant. I didn't expect him to stop, part of me wanted to go into pleading mode again, but I didn't, my pride didn't let me. "I guess it's true what they say, there's a fine line between love and hate. I can honestly hand on heart say that I hate you so much Brendon. I hate you so much right about now Brendon. And if I never see you again, it'll be ten years too soon. Now fuck off Brendon."

And with that I marched on, looking back once to see his retreating back. It was okay now, he was gone for good, and no one was around. Without thinking anymore I let my tears fall.

The whole room was silent as I got to the end of the story. No one moved. Nobody made any sound. I was nervously waiting; too much silence forced the pounding in my head to fill my mind. The silence was getting ridiculous.

"I think I'm going to be sick." I said, vomiting all over the ground, before being engulfed by black.


Brendon POV

I didn't know what to do. Luckily I had caught her just before her head hit the ground but I almost didn't. That was the first time I had held her properly in my arms for almost four years, and it was then I knew that I didn't want it to be the last. I wished the feel of her skin, the scent of her hair, the warmth of her embrace.

I didn't know what I was going to do; I couldn't leave her alone, not tonight and hopefully not ever. The music had carried on and the party was now in full swing again.

I couldn't let her stay here; the music would be too loud. Without thinking I carried her out onto the patio sitting her down and allowing her to rest her head in my lap.

She looked so peaceful sleeping. But there was something there, something that told me that she was still hurting. After four years something was still causing her pain, something called me.

I heard the sound of the door and looked to see Ryan come and join me. He gently placed Elizabeth's feet on his lap and turned his attention to me.

"You still love her, don't you?" He asked me, watching my hand becoming more and more tangled in her hair.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked, not needing an answer.

"No matter how hard you try and act like you don't care, you still rush to her defence and you're still ready to drop everything and see that she's okay." He replied, answering my rhetorical questioning. "Dude, you got it bad."

And with that he got back up and rejoined the party. I looked down at Elizabeth who had started to stir in her sleep. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at me.

"Hey handsome." She said. She must have still been drunk; being sick once wasn't going to get all the alcohol out of her system.

"Hey beautiful." I replied with a chuckle. She laughed and then groaned loudly, gripping at her head. Yes, still drunk. "I think you should get to bed. Where do you want to sleep tonight missy. I don't know where you're staying."

"Dovunque siate. Sono stato senza voi per quattro anni, io non penso che potrei andare più lungamente un momento" She said. "Appena dovunque vada, nonlo lasci là solo."

I don't know what it was she said because I don't speak a word of whatever language she was speaking. I assumed it was Italian, her grandmother was Italian and she used to stay with her some summers. Whatever it was she said it was something I wanted to hear again. Something that made me go weak at the knees.

"I don't know what you just said, but my God was it sexy."

She smiled, groaned and then smiled again. Her eyes rolled back and she started to rock back and forth. She rolled over so she was facing the road and then she vomited again, her hair in her face. Without thinking I held it back, rubbing her back and watching and wishing I could make everything bad she was feeling, both physical and otherwise, stop completely.

"Sorry." She mumbled again, before going limp in my arms.

Elizabeth POV

I slowly opened my eyes and immediately closed them again when they were attacked by the glare of sunlight. I groaned and snuggled deeper into the pillow.

The pillow was warm, surprisingly warm; in fact it didn't feel like a pillow at all. Pillows don't have heart beats. I forced my eyes open, trying to ignore my headache that was waiting to take over my brain. I chanced a glance above to be met by Brendon’s sleeping face. He looked rather tired, like he hadn't got much sleep, like an insomniac sleeping for the first time in days.

Wait, why was he so tired? Oh my sweet Jesus, we didn't...did we?

I glanced under the sheets and my lack of clothing told me otherwise. I had broken one of the biggest rules I had ever made for myself. I had stupidly slept with my ex while drunk. I shot up immediately.

I slept with Brendon. I slept with Brendon. Brendon. Brendon Urie. I had slept with Brendon Urie...and I didn't remember a damn thing. Fuck, fuck, fuck-a-duck. Well actually, fuck Brendon.

Oh yeah, I thought glancing under my sheet, it appears I have already done that.

I was wearing nothing. Well, tell a lie I was wearing my underwear but...I shouldn't be half naked in any bed. Especially with a man. Especially my ex who I still kind of - maybe - sort of have feelings for.

I screamed suddenly. An earth shattering scream which hurt my throat, my head and my very own ears. I felt Brendon shoot up beside me, his head connecting with mine forcefully and doing nothing to decrease the pounding in my head.

"BRENDON BOYD URIE!" I shouted, ignoring the pain that was being caused by my hangover. Hangover. I always wanted one of those. I decided to keep my voice quiet, not only to keep my head from exploding but also to create dramatic effect,

"Just why are we half naked?" I asked through my teeth.

"Because we're not wearing clothes?" He offered, cockily. "Chill. I didn't touch you or anything. Don't have to worry your pretty little virgin knickeners."

"It's knickers, you dolt. And they aren't virgin." I shook my head, immediately regretting it. I grabbed my head dramatically. "My fucking head. Pills, pills, give me some fucking pills."

He got up wordlessly and walked into the bathroom, coming back with a cup of water and some aspirin. I silently thanked him, keyword being silently.

"You know? I ought to wash your mouth out with soap and water. Or just tape it so you can't talk. You told everyone yesterday about our less than neat break up." He said, holding the water out in front of me and pulling his hand back before I could grab it.

I didn't care that I had told everyone, they had a right to know. Okay, well they didn't but I wasn't ashamed of it, and so he shouldn't have been either.

"But you were quite nice to me after you passed out. You called me handsome, said you wanted to spend the night with me, and wanted me to ravish you. Said we should 'make love' like wild beasts."

My jaw practically dropped to the bed. I didn't say that, I didn't want that.

"You couldn't take your hands off of me. When I said no you were blubbering like a baby -"

"Liar. I don't cry." I said pointedly, knowing without a doubt that he was lying. If he was lying about that he must have been lying about everything was the conclusion that I drew. I reached out once more to grab the aspirin, toying with the idea of dry swallowing them, but he pulled them back too.

"Why do you never cry?" He asked. His face was serious suddenly. I took my chance and reached for the pills, he pulled them back again and poked his tongue out.

"Oh, mature." I swiped at the pills again before admitting defeat and slumping on the bed. "I guess I just don't like it. People give you sympathy and pity you when you cry. I never wanted that. I want it to be about what I say not how I say it, y'know?"

"Not really." He retorted. I looked up at him and smiled. I missed this, us talking just like old times. Not worrying about the fact that we were half naked in bed together after not seeing each other in four years. I felt like I was 14 again, trying to deny my crush on him, hoping it would pass while still enjoying his company in a way only his best friend could.

"What? Do I have something up my nose?" And then he shoved his finger right up there, all the while holding the aspirin in his hand.

"Yep, just like we're 14." I thought aloud.

"What was that?" He asked. I shook my head refusing to repeat my slip. "What was that?" He asked again. I shook my head more vigorously.

He placed the cup of water and the aspirin on the bedside counter and turned to me, arms up in a surrendering fashion, but he was doing the exact opposite, he wasn't about to surrender.

"Did you say...? Tickle you senseless?" He asked childishly, and before I had a chance to do anything, he was on top of me, attacking my sides with his hands. I tried not to laugh, I really did, but there’s something about my sides which means resistance is futile. They're really sensitive.

I giggled as much as my lungs could allow me, begging for him to stop. He didn't however, he just continued his attack. We rolled from side to side, with me on top, then him, then me, then him, then...I fell off the bed, and he landed right on top of me, straddling me.

My giggles slowed and then ceased entirely in the space of three seconds.

From the first time I met him I had never noticed but I did now. Once you looked in his eyes it was almost impossible to look away. I wouldn't say I was lost in them, and if I was then I definitely didn't want to be found. It was as if I didn't want to look away, I could but it didn't seem rational. His eyes were like a lock, locking you in and forcing you to stare.

An invisible magnet forced my hand slowly to his hair, moving it from his eye for it always fell in his eyes. My hand rested on his cheek and his hand on mine. I had to ask now. If I didn't ask now I got the feeling I never would be brave enough. Then I'd go back to England not knowing.

"Brendon? What happened to us?" I asked gently, my voice sounding strangely small. "I miss this. Us just messing around, no complications...nothing."

"We...we...we...we moved too fast." He said. "When we got together, together we lost...whatever it was that bonded us together as...well, we were young. We were stupid. We didn't know what we were doing..."

It was unsaid but we knew, we both knew. He was trying to make excuses. I knew he was lying, He knew I knew he was lying. Neither of us knew what went wrong. I sat up and he got the hint, getting off me and sitting on the bed, I joined him.

I didn't want this anymore. He was right, we were young. Whatever happened four years ago shouldn't have happened. I'd rather have him in my life, as anything, than not have him at all.

"Friends?" He said, reaching out his hand.

"Friends." I said, shaking it. For some reason that didn't make me feel much better, I still felt as if there was something left unsaid between us and I didn't know what. Damn these stupid feelings. I straddled his lap suddenly, throwing my arms over his shoulders and grabbing the water and aspirin from the bedside table, taking them quickly.

I took the aspirin and smugly sipped the water to wash it down loving the feelind of the ice cold liquid sliding down my throat.

"I filled that with toilet water." He said nonchalantly, causing me to run to the bathroom and once again empty the content of my already rather empty stomach.


Brendon POV

Friends. What the hell was I thinking? Friends? I didn't want to be friends. Well, maybe I did but not exclusively friends. I didn't look at her the same way I looked at Jon or Ryan or even Cassie. That word was like a death sentence. Friends. And yet, I was the one who asked for it?

I looked down on Elizabeth’s sleeping form. Her head was on my stomach and one of her legs was thrown over me. She always did sleep quite weird.

I missed this too. I missed just waking up and seeing her there but all good things come to an end I guess. And this was ours. I patted her back roughly and tried to get out from underneath her.

"Mmm. Come back." She grumbled pulling me back and resting her head on my chest, throwing her leg back over me for good measure.

"Okay." I said. "But you have a dress fitting at two and it is now...one forty five."

She shot up faster than I had ever seen anyone do and dived off the bed, reaching for her clothes. She pulled the beret on top her head first, long before putting anything else on. Typical Elizabeth. She sniffed her top and then cringed.

"Argh. Alcohol and vomit...nice." She winced, and I had to laugh in spite of myself.

"Listen. Go run a shower. They can wait, it's not like all the dresses are going to measured at the same time, right? I'll find you something of mine to wear don't worry it'll be feminine. No one will have a clue we slept together."

"Will you stop saying it like that?" She screeched. I laughed at her expense.

"It's fun. You can't deny that you slept with me." I said innocently, throwing myself back onto the bed dramatically for no reason whatsoever. I could practically feel the heat from the smoke coming out of her ears.

"Yeah, but not like that." She screeched again, more indignantly again. I couldn't help but smile at how easily wound up she was. That was one of the things I loved about her.

"We were in bed together with out clothes I think that means you slept with me." I said, cockily. "I was good. You were moaning and Mmming. It was wild."

"Fuck off will you?" She shouted slightly walking towards the bathroom, discarding her bra as she went; it was too damn bad that her back was to me. I told her this, earning myself the finger.

"You love it!" I shouted out to her, finding something for her to wear, something that screamed they were my clothes. This was going to be fun. I looked at my watch. 12:35.

She was going to kill me.

A/N: So there we have it, that's what happened that day they broke up.
Sorry if it's a bit of an anti climax, and thank you to everyone who has and will review I read them all like, ten times over and they encourage me to keep on writing.

And I'm sorry if you thought Brendon and Elizabeth got busy with it, well...they didn't.

And I don't really speak Italian those words were taken from a translator online, so if they are wrong I apologise. She is basically saying...well...you could find out for yourself can't you?

Thanks for reviewing, and rating. And if you still like to rate, you can, because both review and ratings make me dance