FicWad

A/N Thanks to EleC for translations.

Just when you thought everything was going okay, in true dramatic style something HAD to go and mess it up.

Thanks to everyone who rated and reviewed, especially those who do so on a chapter basis. This one is for you, in fact the whole story pretty much is.

I love you truly.

The end of my rant and on with the fun stuff!

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Elizabeth's POV

I arrived at the shop early, that stupid Brendon. He only failed to inform me that it was across the road from his place. I had half a mind to go back to his place, slap him and then come back here. But our friendship was on ice. Well, that and I didn't want to break a nail, even if they were false ones and even if I only got them because my mum insisted as a goodbye gift. Well, and because he cooked me breakfast before I left, I hadn't eaten in days too, so it was no surprise that I ate rather like an animal, and he had no qualms about telling me that.

I was lucky the boutique opened at 12pm and I didn't have to sit outside the shop. I did, however, have to sit inside the shop. A shop full of dresses also known as my worse nightmare. Even as a little girl I hated dresses. I liked skirts I just hated dresses. Then mother insisted I wear one to prom and I discovered they are alright, a little scratchy but they aren't death.

I looked around to make sure that the store owner was still doing her fitting and then stood. I ran my hand along the row of dresses. If I was in the right mood I would say these dresses were actually...pretty? Were they pretty. Did they have the factors that constituted to prettiness?

"Pretty." I whispered, testing the word out in the atmosphere. That was the right way to describe dresses. Painful, a bit rough around the edges, sometimes uncomfortable and yet...pretty. A bit like mine and Brendon's relationship, if you could call it that. I took another glance at the back room to make sure the owner wasn't coming out.

There were dresses in every colour. Black, green, yellow, blue, white, peach and then right at the end there was a wedding dress with the name Cassie written across the hanger. I took one more look to back room and then lifted the dress slowly from the hook. It was a pretty white dress, simple. It looked about calf height. It had a corset bodice and the bottom half flowed freely and swished when it moved. It had long, thin semi see through sleeves. In short it was one of the least ugly dresses I had ever seen.

I stood in front of the mirror and held the dress in front of me as if I was wearing it. It looked beautiful, it would make the ugliest of faces look beautiful which meant, with Cassie's already beautiful face, and it would send her off the scale.

"That dress looks perfect on you, y'know." The dressmaker had come out from her room, and evidentially been watching me for quite a while.

"Why are you here so early?" Cassie asked, walking through the door.

"...and why are you wearing Brendon's favourite shirt." Hayley asked, eyebrow raised.

Oh bugger, oh shit, oh damn, oh bugger. As soon as I saw Brendon, he was going to meet his maker.

"Oh. this? Well...you see...the thing is...we have...well...we have the same top." I said, silently calling myself a genius. They walked into the shop, leaving their bags by the door and taking off their coats. Hayley stood directly in front of me, looking into my eyes. She squinted, came closer, zoomed out, tilted her head to the side and then sighed loudly.

"You're lying. We know you stayed with Brendon." She said, shoving past me, picking up a dress and walking into the back room, presumably to change. It was a pretty dress, it was a little bit like the dress from that My Chemical Romance video, Helen or something but only the colours were in reverse. The dress was a beautiful wine red with a black sash tied around the waist.

"Keyword being stayed and not slept with!" I shouted to the back, so I could highlight that point, so that they didn't tease me the way Brendon did for 'sleeping' with him. He did it right up until the point that I left his house and then shouted out of the window to tell me I was good in bed, causing weird looks galore.

"How's Jon?" I asked, turning to Cassie. I was still mad at him, and semi mad at Hayley for agreeing with him, but I wasn't about to be petty, it was all in the past. It didn't affect me anymore, and I wanted this wedding to be smooth sailing.

"Stiff neck, sleeping on the sofa." I laughed, glad that he had got his comeuppance. "It's not true what he said you know? We don't all think that. He's just a guy and guys by definition are absolute idiots when it comes to tact, which is why he is sleeping on the sofa and will be sleeping on said sofa until you say otherwise."

I decided then that I wouldn't say otherwise until he said sorry, which I was guessing would be the next time he saw me. Jon wasn't meaning to be spiteful really, I just think he had a bit too much to drink and started to say things he didn't mean. Of course he must have got it from somewhere. I shook my head, not wanting to think that my friends hated me.

However, he still deserved to sleep on the sofa.

"So tell me, what exactly happened between you and Brenny last night?" Hayley asked coming out of the back room pushing me off the stall and standing on it, allowing the dressmaker to take in her dress.

"I don't know, the last thing I remember is being sick and blacking out and then all of a sudden I wake up in bed with Brendon, half naked. I -"

"Wait what? Half naked?" Hayley asked, causing the pin to go into her side. "Ouch."

"Non muoverti, stupida donna" Said the dress maker, I giggled, glad that I was the only one who spoke Italian. The dress maker looked at me and then smiled to, going back to her work.

"What did she say? What did you say? Did you call me fat?" Hayley said, being interrupted by Cassie.

"Why were you half naked in bed with Brendon?" Cassie asked, eyebrow raised. I had hoped she had forgotten, in fact I prayed that she had, I needed her to have forgotten. I know Cass and although she may have gotten older since the last time I saw her I know that she can make a mountain out of a mole hill. You say you hugged a guy and she'd start talking to you about safe sex or baby names.

"Well, you saw what I was wearing, I couldn't sleep in that. We just slept. Literally, I was too drunk to do anything else." I said.

"Is he your date to the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night?" Cassie asked, curiously. I shook my head and told her I wasn't to take one to the Rehearsal Dinner. When she asked why I just shook my head again, preferring not to discuss it.

Truth be told, I felt as if I couldn't invite anyone because I would be betraying Brendon. I know we're only friends now but I also knew there was still something between us and just because we knew we were better off as friends and just because we knew that we weren't going to be together doesn't mean I wanted to make things harder by bringing a date and I'm sure he'd feel the exact same way.

"I'm not bringing anyone." I said, deciding once and for all.

"Liz, you got it bad." Hayley said, chucking a shoe at me, hitting me straight in the head.

Three Hour Later

"I don't know why you're complaining honey, you look gorgeous." Cassie said from beside me, that's easy for her to say her dress was lovely, it was beautiful and most importantly it actually suited her.

"Seriously. Stunning." Said Hayley. That was easy for her to say too. She didn't have an inch of excess weight; the dress clung to all the right places on her and skimmed all the wrong ones hiding them well. I just looked plain silly.

"I look frumpy, I look fat, and I look hideous!" I was acting like a Bridezilla and I knew it. What made it worse was that I was acting like a Bridezilla and I wasn't even getting married.

"Smettila di lamentarti, è bellissimo." The dress maker said.

No one just ever understood how difficult it was having pretty friends. Not to mention with Keltie well on her way to be added into our little clique it was only a matter of time until I was labelled the ugly friend and forced to watch the drinks while everyone else had fun.

"You look amazing hun, seriously." I looked in the mirror again. Upon closer inspection I discovered that the dress did actually suit me. The only problem really was that it made my arms look a little bit chubby but then again that's just because they are.

"My arms...they look..." I looked to Cassie helplessly and she looked away. I jumped off of the stool and kneeled in front of her, looking into her eyes and giving her my 'lost puppy' look. She looked away but I followed her, she tried again and I did it again.

"Fine. We can add sleeves onto the dresses, you owe me for this. Sleeves aren't free." And then she walked into the back to get out of her wedding dress. I was still on my knees when the chime above the door rang. In filed Ryan and Keltie holding hands and looking doe eyed, Jon who looked at me sympathetically causing me to look away in a huff, Spencer who was quickly attacked by Hayley and then finally Brendon with his perma smirk.

"Hey, Elizabeth. I haven't even unbuckled my jeans and you're already on your knees." My jaw went slack and then slammed shut when I thought of what else he could say to the fact that I was indeed on my knees with my mouth wide open. I immediately stood rubbing my arms as to hide their monster size from Brendon. To any normal person they wouldn't have looked big, they were just normal arms. But to me they were ugly; they were the thing I hated most.

"What are doing here? You know you aren't to see the Bride in her wedding gown, its bad luck!" Cassie shouted from the back coming out jean clad and shirt unbuttoned. Everyone tried to avoid looking at her but she didn't seem to mind that she was practically stripped in front of four men, even if one was her Husband - to - be.

"Tough cookies. We've had the worse luck and we got through it. And why was that?" Jon asked, hands doing up Cassie's buttons slowly, we all watched on, partially in amazement but mainly in disgust. Couldn't they do that in private?

"Because I love you, and you love me." She said, before he kissed her softly on the nose. I guessed from the little public display of affection I had witnessed Jon would be unbanished from the sofa.

"Eww, guys. Get a room, get a whole hotel in fact but get that out of my face." Brendon said, turning away like he had been burnt and playing with the tie on my dress. I snatched it away from him but he started to play with it again. I snatched it again, and he took it back again. I swatted at his hands and he moved them away. As soon as I thought I was safe he started to play with it again.

"If you wanted to get me out of this dress all you had to do was ask." I said, stopping him in his tracks.

"That should be saved for the privacy of a room." Cassie said. I threw her a sarcastic look and looked at Brendon who was still frozen.

"Okay, Brendon as the only single one here, are you bringing a guest to the Rehearsal Dinner tomorrow night?" Hayley asked, going into organisation mode. I looked to Brendon, waiting for his answer. He looked at Cassie shyly and then to Hayley and then back to me.

"Yeah, I am. If it's okay." He said, staring into my eyes as if asking for my permission to see someone else. I wasn't his, he wasn't mine, and we weren't together anymore. He could do what he liked. He could do whoever he liked.

But that didn't stop me feeling like I had been lied to, as if my heart had been broken all over again and that certainly didn't stop me from wanting me to strangle his pretty little neck until he was blue in the face. I felt as if our making up had been a lie, even if we had only really agreed to be friends. I couldn't take it anymore, I felt as if all eyes were on me, I felt as if everyone was waiting for me to do something, and I had amazing stage fright. I did the only thing I could do and the only thing I could think to do. I ran right out of the boutique still clad in my bridesmaid dress.

I wanted to run until my bare feet hurt and until all that was left were bloody stumps but unfortunately I didn't manage to get very far before I felt fingers wrap around my upper arm turning me around. I looked up into Brendon's face wondering why he couldn't just leave me alone.

I was slammed into him which meant his body was against pressed against mine. It looked like a scene for lovers but anyone with background information knew it was anything but. His eyes were fierce showing that he meant business. I was being daft and I knew it but the thing with me around Brendon, I just couldn't help it. He made me do stupid things.

"What the hell was that about?" He asked angrily.

"What was what about?" I fired back, matching his anger with my own. I wasn't particularly angry at him for deciding to take a date but I was angrier at myself for falling into the trap of loving him again. Well, technically not again because I never did stop loving him. I always had and always would no matter much it hurt me to have to let him go time and time again. But I was angry that I had been rejected again with only myself to blame.

"That scene!" He shouted. "Jesus, Elizabeth what is up with you? I thought we were cool."

"Me? What's up with me? You want to know what's up with me?" I cried, ripping my arm from his grasp and shoving him, "You want to fucking know what's up with me? Fine! But it isn't going to make anything better."

"I'm listening." He said. His voice was laced with angry overtones and his eyes glaring. I was so filled with fury that I couldn't help myself. He wanted the truth? Fair enough. If he couldn't deal with it? His fault. I didn't once stop to think what I was about to say would do to me, what effect it would have on me but I didn't really care. The words were spilling from my lips long before I had the chance to think them through properly.

"I still love you, Brendon." That was when I discovered something new. Once you let one part of the secret out there was no stopping you. The relief and the feeling of a weight being lifted pushed any consequences to the back of your mind. That was why I couldn't stop talking. And that was what kept the words flowing, kept me revealing what I was feeling and exposing myself to yet more hurt.

"I still fucking love you. I mean look at me, I'm ridiculous, it's been four years and I'm still not fucking over you. I'm not thick so I know it isn't going to work, and I know I shouldn't feel the way I do. It isn't your fault, it really isn't. It's just...it makes everything so much harder. It makes it so much harder to let you go when I'm just harbouring feelings for you that...to be completely and utterly honest, aren't in much of a hurry to disappear."

"You said you hated me. Four years ago. You said you fucking hated me and now you love me? What am I meant to believe Elizabeth? What am I meant to feel? Elizabeth...tell me what to think. Explain it to me. Please, make everything make sense." He pleaded, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me. Trying to shake sense into me. He looked scared, like a lost little boy. I wanted to help him find himself.

Was he even listening to me? I said I loved him, I said it loud and clear and he refused to believe it. Maybe he didn't want to believe it. He slid his hands down my shoulders and on to my waist, trying to keep me from running, I'm sure of it. I placed a hand on his cheek, trying to calm him. He closed his eyes, breathing heavily, trying to calm down. When he opened his eyes again looking into mine I decided it was the right time to speak.

"There's a fine line between love and hate. It's like I'm trying to walk along it, drunk on emotion and falling in between the two. I tried to hate you, I tried so hard to hate you and sometimes I swear I do but I just...I just can't." And just like that tears began to fall. For the first time ever I cried in front of someone. "I can't hate you and you obviously can't love me." I concluded.

Embarrassed for the second time in the small space of five minutes I did the exact same thing. I turned and continued running from Brendon, without giving him a chance to reject me yet again.

So there you have it.

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