Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Broken Hearts And Broken Smiles
Brendon's POV
She loves me. Elizabeth loves me. Elizabeth Jane Burrows loves me. I should be singing, I should be shouting from the rooftops, I should be over at her house doing God knows what. But you know where I am? I'm standing on the street all alone, watching the space where she had stood moments ago.
I know why she's so upset. I know I should have said it back. It would have been like a fairytale. But fairytales are called fairytales for a reason, they aren't real. That isn't real life. And no matter how much I want to say it, no matter how much I want to tell her that I love her too I just can't. She made the day I had to leave the hardest day of my life. The one person I thought would be happy for me wasn't. She didn't seem to understand that I didn't want to leave her but there are some sacrifices people have to make, I was actually trying to make a future for us. Everything I did, I did it for us.
I felt bad, so I said some harsh things. Partly to make myself feel better and partly so that I could let her move on. If she couldn't deal with me being gone then the least I could do was make her happy about it. Glad to see the back of me so to speak, but she didn't understand that.
Maybe she did. Maybe she saw what I was doing and didn't want it to happen. Maybe her plan was to get me to stay and it just backfired miserably. Maybe I was the blind one, my God was I blind. I should have seen what she was doing, I should have calmed her fears but I didn't. I should have told her that I'd be back for her. I should have let her know I wasn't choosing a career over her. Instead I just walked away from her. I let her down like I promised I would never do. I failed her.
Defeated I slowly walked back towards the shop, knowing that Cassie was going to kill me for letting the dress go and that I was probably going to kill myself for letting Elizabeth go. As soon as the door opened they attacked me with questions.
"Did you get the dress?" Cassie asked stupidly. Yes, I did. I stripped the dress off of Elizabeth and let her run home half naked and I am currently holding it in my hand. Oh, and I even made it invisible so no one could see it.
"Did you and Liz make up?" Hayley asked even more stupidly shoving Cassie and causing me to clench my fists in frustration.
"Did you have sex in the middle of the road?" Ryan asked sarcastically, pulling Cassie and Hayley into seats. "No he didn't get the dress Cass, and I think from the look on his face they didn't make up."
Oh Ryan, ever the diplomat, I thought bitterly.
"And where's Liz now?" Jon asked. That's the thing about Jon; he could always make you talk about the last thing you wanted to talk about. The last thing I wanted to discuss was Elizabeth so it was only natural that she would be the first thing he brought up. I sat down on one of the stools, waiting for an onslaught of questions and maybe some physical violence.
"She ran." With those two words many things happened at once. Keltie gasped presumably having been filled in on the back story that the last time Elizabeth ran she ended up on the other side of the world, Ryan's eyes widened until I was certain they were about to fall out of their sockets, Spencer and Hayley both simultaneously gripped each others hands worry written all over their faces and Jon rested a comforting hand on Cassie's shoulder.
I knew this was in vain of course because it was obvious from her rather calm exterior that she was fuming. She wanted my blood and she wasn't going to quit until she got it. I flinched as she ripped Jon's hand forcefully from her shoulder and lunged at me like a tiger hitting me forcefully wherever she could reach.
I got up and tried to run but I realised that I was no match for her long legs as soon as she dived at me knocking me to the floor and straddling me, hitting me more. I tried to grab her hands but she was moving too fast. She was screaming and crying and if she didn't look so possessed I probably would have felt sorry for her.
No one moved and no one helped. It was either because they were scared of Cassie or (and this is probably more likely) they thought I deserved it. Or maybe neither, maybe they just found it funny. I would have laughed if it was anyone else being attacked by a skinny girl in a wedding dress. But I couldn't laugh, for I could feel blood dripping from a rather painful scratch she had delivered to my face.
She was scratching, clawing and she even bit my hand once. Jon tried to pull her off but earnt an accidental backhand to the face and then she swiftly continued her assault on me. For such a little girl she was certainly strong. I should have made an effort to stop her but I got the rather strange feeling that I deserved it too, and she deserved to vent out her anger.
She started to slow down, getting tired and I simultaneously started to see stars. I had lost track of time, all I could feel was my face throbbing from every punch, every slap and every scratch delivered with her perfectly manicured nails. Eventually her arms went limp and she collapsed onto me crying.
"Please, get her back." She sobbed into my shirt and then she looked up at me. She looked so small, so young and so fragile. Her make up was running and she looked as if a part of her had died. This wasn't the same girl that was attacking me earlier. This was someone else. This girl was scared.
Jon pulled her off me and threw his arms around her, she cried softly into his shoulder, shaking like a little child.
"I just want her back; she's one of my best friends." She hiccupped. "She has to be at the wedding, I miss her." She turned to me suddenly, eyes filled with yet more unshed tears.
"I need her, please, someone do something. She left once because of you, I don't want it to happen twice. Stop her this time. Make it right again."
I slowly stood up, stumbling slightly and trying to steady myself. I had hit my head rather hard on the way down and felt like I couldn't breath. I touched my cheek and look at my hand, it was doused in blood.
"Sorry about that." Cassie said shakily, burying her face back into Jon's chest. I nodded my head in acceptance. I was standing fully now, trying to remember where it was that Elizabeth lived all those years ago. Was she still staying with her dad?
"I'll take you." Hayley said, apparently reading my thoughts. She walked past me and outside presumably to start up her car. I was nervous, anxious, scared and worried. What if I got there and Elizabeth had already gone to the airport? What if she didn't want to see me? What if her dad hit me too? What if...?
"I'm gonna go get her." I said finally, throwing all caution to the wind. I didn't care if I died as a consequence as long as I got her back. I may have to chase her to the airport, like in one of those rubbish movies and declare my undying love for her, whatever it took.
It's funny how you never realise how much you miss something until it's gone. When I met her when I was 12 I thought she was stupid. Why have a skateboard if you can't stay on it? But over time I learnt to like her, she was pretty cool. She had good taste in music, she wore clothes that made her look good without looking slutty, she had a way of calming the angriest of people and she pretty much got on with everyone.
I remember about two years later when she was 14. She started developing an interest in boys. I didn't mind at first, well at least I thought I didn't but when one eventually started to show interest back when she was only 16 I was furious. It was obvious that he didn't care about her, not the way I did. And although she said nothing ever happened because she wasn't stupid I was still scared for her.
I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings so I just stopped talking to her. She would ask what was wrong and I would ignore her or give her a short one worded answer. It hurt me as much as I'm sure it hurt her.
One day, she asked me what was wrong and I just snapped. I told her that I didn't want to be associated with someone who was whoring herself out to everything with a pulse. I said I didn't want to be best friends with a whore.
But instead of getting angry she just hugged me, thanking me for calling her my best friend. She soon broke things off with him. How did I thank her? Two weeks later I started dating Sarah Wallaby, the sluttiest girl in school.
"Go on then before you miss her." Spence said, snapping me out of my thoughts and softly pushing me towards the door.
"Brendon?" Cassie called, still entwined with Jon, "Good luck."
I gave her a smile and then I was gone.
"Does this mean I don't have to sleep on the couch anymore?" I heard Jon ask, in typical Jon style.
"It's sofa you bean bag but no...You've been upgraded to the bed." Cassie replied. Typical senseless couple and a match made in heaven.
Elizabeth POV
I was seriously out of breath but nothing would stop me from running. I had no idea where I was going, I had been running for at least ten minutes. A car pulled up at the side of the road, winding down the window and slowing down so it was driving beside me. I tried to ignore it but the person never once spoke, they just watched me run. My feet were slapping the floor and my breath was coming out in short gasps.
"You alright sweetheart?" The person in the car asked. I stopped running and started walking, looking at the woman in the car next to me. She looked about my age and she was rather pretty. She had long blonde hair and bright blue eyes, her slim fingers rested on the steering wheel softly and her car radio was screaming out Leave Right Now by Will Young. Oh, those lyrics, story of my life they are.
"I'm fine thank you." I replied, still walking and still being followed by this rather pretty girl.
"You don't look it. If you'd like I could give you a lift. Where are you heading?" She had a soft accent, she sounded like she was from Alabama or somewhere southern like that. Story book sweet heart, if only I could be her. I bet she never had any problems when it came to guys.
She opened the door and I got in, closing the door behind me. I told her where my father lived and she started to drive faster.
"Thank you." I said. She nodded her head.
"Want to tell me what's up?" She asked, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder to let me know that it was my choice whether or not to speak. She seemed nice enough so I decided to tell her.
"Unrequited love." Was all I could bring myself to say without crying. There was something else I had learnt. Once you opened the floodgates they became difficult to close. All the water (in this case tears) that is pushed back behind them forces them open at any weak moment. And this for me was pretty much a weak moment, the weakest moment I had ever been forced to face.
"It's a bitch." Was all she said, causing me to giggle.
"I know it." I replied. I closed my eyes trying to stop myself from tearing up. I never cried in front of anyone up until now and the last thing I wanted to do was to cry in front of a complete stranger.
"Want to tell me the full story?" She asked, pulling up outside my house.
"Well four years ago..." I said, then I told her everything, all the way up to the point that I got into the car. I wasn't crying by the end, in fact I felt a strange sense of relief washing over me. I left out the details not telling her that the Brendon I was talking about was in fact Brendon Urie from Panic at the Disco because in my opinion that was a tiny and insignificant detail she was better off not knowing.
"Wow." Was all she said, once I had finished telling my story. I nodded my head and opened the door getting out of the car.
"Thank you again." I said, closing the door and then going to walk up the steps towards my front door.
"No problem." She said quietly. "You know? I know I may not know this guy but from what you've told me your love doesn't sound so unrequited."
I stopped in my tracks and turned but before I could reply she drove away.
Of course he doesn't love me back, he had a hundred chances to say it and he didn't. What did she know? I couldn't keep holding on I had to let go now. He had a chance, he had a hundred chances and he had blown them amazingly. It was time to let go.
I lifted up the flower pot in an attempt to find the spare key but it was gone. I thought that's where it always was. My dad would have been at work by about now. Maybe he's moved it since I've been away.
I took the chance to knock on the door but there was no answer.
"Dad? Dad! Let me in." I heard footsteps from the other end and the lock come undone, the door slowly swinging open.
"Dad? Why did you move the..." I stopped dead mid -sentence, tilting my head to the side. "...Brendon?"
A/N: Sorry to say chapters are going to be spaced out a bit more as I revise for exams. I've been posting two chappies for every one I wrote and it's finally caught up. I will still post every 2/3 days though and thank you for sticking with me.
Reviews and Ratings make me want to hug the world!! =] My hugs are AWESOME I've been told.
She loves me. Elizabeth loves me. Elizabeth Jane Burrows loves me. I should be singing, I should be shouting from the rooftops, I should be over at her house doing God knows what. But you know where I am? I'm standing on the street all alone, watching the space where she had stood moments ago.
I know why she's so upset. I know I should have said it back. It would have been like a fairytale. But fairytales are called fairytales for a reason, they aren't real. That isn't real life. And no matter how much I want to say it, no matter how much I want to tell her that I love her too I just can't. She made the day I had to leave the hardest day of my life. The one person I thought would be happy for me wasn't. She didn't seem to understand that I didn't want to leave her but there are some sacrifices people have to make, I was actually trying to make a future for us. Everything I did, I did it for us.
I felt bad, so I said some harsh things. Partly to make myself feel better and partly so that I could let her move on. If she couldn't deal with me being gone then the least I could do was make her happy about it. Glad to see the back of me so to speak, but she didn't understand that.
Maybe she did. Maybe she saw what I was doing and didn't want it to happen. Maybe her plan was to get me to stay and it just backfired miserably. Maybe I was the blind one, my God was I blind. I should have seen what she was doing, I should have calmed her fears but I didn't. I should have told her that I'd be back for her. I should have let her know I wasn't choosing a career over her. Instead I just walked away from her. I let her down like I promised I would never do. I failed her.
Defeated I slowly walked back towards the shop, knowing that Cassie was going to kill me for letting the dress go and that I was probably going to kill myself for letting Elizabeth go. As soon as the door opened they attacked me with questions.
"Did you get the dress?" Cassie asked stupidly. Yes, I did. I stripped the dress off of Elizabeth and let her run home half naked and I am currently holding it in my hand. Oh, and I even made it invisible so no one could see it.
"Did you and Liz make up?" Hayley asked even more stupidly shoving Cassie and causing me to clench my fists in frustration.
"Did you have sex in the middle of the road?" Ryan asked sarcastically, pulling Cassie and Hayley into seats. "No he didn't get the dress Cass, and I think from the look on his face they didn't make up."
Oh Ryan, ever the diplomat, I thought bitterly.
"And where's Liz now?" Jon asked. That's the thing about Jon; he could always make you talk about the last thing you wanted to talk about. The last thing I wanted to discuss was Elizabeth so it was only natural that she would be the first thing he brought up. I sat down on one of the stools, waiting for an onslaught of questions and maybe some physical violence.
"She ran." With those two words many things happened at once. Keltie gasped presumably having been filled in on the back story that the last time Elizabeth ran she ended up on the other side of the world, Ryan's eyes widened until I was certain they were about to fall out of their sockets, Spencer and Hayley both simultaneously gripped each others hands worry written all over their faces and Jon rested a comforting hand on Cassie's shoulder.
I knew this was in vain of course because it was obvious from her rather calm exterior that she was fuming. She wanted my blood and she wasn't going to quit until she got it. I flinched as she ripped Jon's hand forcefully from her shoulder and lunged at me like a tiger hitting me forcefully wherever she could reach.
I got up and tried to run but I realised that I was no match for her long legs as soon as she dived at me knocking me to the floor and straddling me, hitting me more. I tried to grab her hands but she was moving too fast. She was screaming and crying and if she didn't look so possessed I probably would have felt sorry for her.
No one moved and no one helped. It was either because they were scared of Cassie or (and this is probably more likely) they thought I deserved it. Or maybe neither, maybe they just found it funny. I would have laughed if it was anyone else being attacked by a skinny girl in a wedding dress. But I couldn't laugh, for I could feel blood dripping from a rather painful scratch she had delivered to my face.
She was scratching, clawing and she even bit my hand once. Jon tried to pull her off but earnt an accidental backhand to the face and then she swiftly continued her assault on me. For such a little girl she was certainly strong. I should have made an effort to stop her but I got the rather strange feeling that I deserved it too, and she deserved to vent out her anger.
She started to slow down, getting tired and I simultaneously started to see stars. I had lost track of time, all I could feel was my face throbbing from every punch, every slap and every scratch delivered with her perfectly manicured nails. Eventually her arms went limp and she collapsed onto me crying.
"Please, get her back." She sobbed into my shirt and then she looked up at me. She looked so small, so young and so fragile. Her make up was running and she looked as if a part of her had died. This wasn't the same girl that was attacking me earlier. This was someone else. This girl was scared.
Jon pulled her off me and threw his arms around her, she cried softly into his shoulder, shaking like a little child.
"I just want her back; she's one of my best friends." She hiccupped. "She has to be at the wedding, I miss her." She turned to me suddenly, eyes filled with yet more unshed tears.
"I need her, please, someone do something. She left once because of you, I don't want it to happen twice. Stop her this time. Make it right again."
I slowly stood up, stumbling slightly and trying to steady myself. I had hit my head rather hard on the way down and felt like I couldn't breath. I touched my cheek and look at my hand, it was doused in blood.
"Sorry about that." Cassie said shakily, burying her face back into Jon's chest. I nodded my head in acceptance. I was standing fully now, trying to remember where it was that Elizabeth lived all those years ago. Was she still staying with her dad?
"I'll take you." Hayley said, apparently reading my thoughts. She walked past me and outside presumably to start up her car. I was nervous, anxious, scared and worried. What if I got there and Elizabeth had already gone to the airport? What if she didn't want to see me? What if her dad hit me too? What if...?
"I'm gonna go get her." I said finally, throwing all caution to the wind. I didn't care if I died as a consequence as long as I got her back. I may have to chase her to the airport, like in one of those rubbish movies and declare my undying love for her, whatever it took.
It's funny how you never realise how much you miss something until it's gone. When I met her when I was 12 I thought she was stupid. Why have a skateboard if you can't stay on it? But over time I learnt to like her, she was pretty cool. She had good taste in music, she wore clothes that made her look good without looking slutty, she had a way of calming the angriest of people and she pretty much got on with everyone.
I remember about two years later when she was 14. She started developing an interest in boys. I didn't mind at first, well at least I thought I didn't but when one eventually started to show interest back when she was only 16 I was furious. It was obvious that he didn't care about her, not the way I did. And although she said nothing ever happened because she wasn't stupid I was still scared for her.
I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings so I just stopped talking to her. She would ask what was wrong and I would ignore her or give her a short one worded answer. It hurt me as much as I'm sure it hurt her.
One day, she asked me what was wrong and I just snapped. I told her that I didn't want to be associated with someone who was whoring herself out to everything with a pulse. I said I didn't want to be best friends with a whore.
But instead of getting angry she just hugged me, thanking me for calling her my best friend. She soon broke things off with him. How did I thank her? Two weeks later I started dating Sarah Wallaby, the sluttiest girl in school.
"Go on then before you miss her." Spence said, snapping me out of my thoughts and softly pushing me towards the door.
"Brendon?" Cassie called, still entwined with Jon, "Good luck."
I gave her a smile and then I was gone.
"Does this mean I don't have to sleep on the couch anymore?" I heard Jon ask, in typical Jon style.
"It's sofa you bean bag but no...You've been upgraded to the bed." Cassie replied. Typical senseless couple and a match made in heaven.
Elizabeth POV
I was seriously out of breath but nothing would stop me from running. I had no idea where I was going, I had been running for at least ten minutes. A car pulled up at the side of the road, winding down the window and slowing down so it was driving beside me. I tried to ignore it but the person never once spoke, they just watched me run. My feet were slapping the floor and my breath was coming out in short gasps.
"You alright sweetheart?" The person in the car asked. I stopped running and started walking, looking at the woman in the car next to me. She looked about my age and she was rather pretty. She had long blonde hair and bright blue eyes, her slim fingers rested on the steering wheel softly and her car radio was screaming out Leave Right Now by Will Young. Oh, those lyrics, story of my life they are.
"I'm fine thank you." I replied, still walking and still being followed by this rather pretty girl.
"You don't look it. If you'd like I could give you a lift. Where are you heading?" She had a soft accent, she sounded like she was from Alabama or somewhere southern like that. Story book sweet heart, if only I could be her. I bet she never had any problems when it came to guys.
She opened the door and I got in, closing the door behind me. I told her where my father lived and she started to drive faster.
"Thank you." I said. She nodded her head.
"Want to tell me what's up?" She asked, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder to let me know that it was my choice whether or not to speak. She seemed nice enough so I decided to tell her.
"Unrequited love." Was all I could bring myself to say without crying. There was something else I had learnt. Once you opened the floodgates they became difficult to close. All the water (in this case tears) that is pushed back behind them forces them open at any weak moment. And this for me was pretty much a weak moment, the weakest moment I had ever been forced to face.
"It's a bitch." Was all she said, causing me to giggle.
"I know it." I replied. I closed my eyes trying to stop myself from tearing up. I never cried in front of anyone up until now and the last thing I wanted to do was to cry in front of a complete stranger.
"Want to tell me the full story?" She asked, pulling up outside my house.
"Well four years ago..." I said, then I told her everything, all the way up to the point that I got into the car. I wasn't crying by the end, in fact I felt a strange sense of relief washing over me. I left out the details not telling her that the Brendon I was talking about was in fact Brendon Urie from Panic at the Disco because in my opinion that was a tiny and insignificant detail she was better off not knowing.
"Wow." Was all she said, once I had finished telling my story. I nodded my head and opened the door getting out of the car.
"Thank you again." I said, closing the door and then going to walk up the steps towards my front door.
"No problem." She said quietly. "You know? I know I may not know this guy but from what you've told me your love doesn't sound so unrequited."
I stopped in my tracks and turned but before I could reply she drove away.
Of course he doesn't love me back, he had a hundred chances to say it and he didn't. What did she know? I couldn't keep holding on I had to let go now. He had a chance, he had a hundred chances and he had blown them amazingly. It was time to let go.
I lifted up the flower pot in an attempt to find the spare key but it was gone. I thought that's where it always was. My dad would have been at work by about now. Maybe he's moved it since I've been away.
I took the chance to knock on the door but there was no answer.
"Dad? Dad! Let me in." I heard footsteps from the other end and the lock come undone, the door slowly swinging open.
"Dad? Why did you move the..." I stopped dead mid -sentence, tilting my head to the side. "...Brendon?"
A/N: Sorry to say chapters are going to be spaced out a bit more as I revise for exams. I've been posting two chappies for every one I wrote and it's finally caught up. I will still post every 2/3 days though and thank you for sticking with me.
Reviews and Ratings make me want to hug the world!! =] My hugs are AWESOME I've been told.
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