Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I Used To Waste My Time Dreaming Of Being Alive, Now I Only Waste It Dreaming Of You
~*Cause I'd Never Say No To You*~
0 reviewsTwo years after the very popular From Under The Cork Tree was released, Fall Out Boy has dropped a new album entitled Infinity On High. Now that the world has had a taste of the return of Fall Out ...
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~Cause' I'd Never Say No To You~
In Patrick's Point Of View
"Whoo! TOUR TIME!!!" Joe yelled. Ugh. I have no idea why he's so upbeat. Sure, tours mean cash, seeing fans and hanging out with my three best friends. But they also mean being away from home. Being on that stage, so much stress. Sleeping on a bus that is always moving around. Sharing a small bathroom with three guys including the bus driver. Sleeping just inches away from the ceiling or a bunk above me. Always having to look happy for the fans. They worry. Well, they worry about Pete. About how Pete's gonna look on the show they go to. Weather or not he'll take his shirt off, how much eyeliner he's gonna wear. They never seem to worry about about Joe's health, Andy's back problems, and surely not Patrick slowly forgetting what it feels like to be happy. Just about who Pete calls Baby. I sighed and struggled to remember the last time I really felt happy. Was I ever happy?
"TRICK!" Pete yelled popping open a champagne bottle. The limo hit a bump in the road causing Pete to spill the fuzz of the champagne. It fell all over the limos floor staining it and making it reek of alcohol.
"Damn it Pete, look what you did." I said looking around for a towel to clean up his mess.
"Like it was my fault. Their was a bump in the road. I say it's Chicago's fault."
He said putting one arm around his girlfriend, Ashlee.
"Sure, it's never Pete's fault. it's always someone Else's fault. Cause Pete can do no wrong. He's the king of every-fucking thing."
I said getting on my knees and putting a towel to the pool of champagne. Fucking conceited I swear.
"Awww. Is P.M.S PMS'ing?"
Ashlee asked laughing. Pete smiled and kissed her cheek. I rolled my eyes. I don't hate either of them, it's just together they're this annoying pair who's job is to make my life a living hell.
"Aw, Leave Trick Alone. He's just mentally preparing for the tour. Right, Patrick?" Andy asked. I sighed.
"Sure."
Eventually we made it to the club we would be partying at. It felt so good knowing we weren't here to preform. Just to try and have some fun. It seems impossible to have any fun here. The music sucks, the lighting is horrible and everyone is prancing around with someone. Andy is with Jackie, his girlfriend of two years. Joe is with Adrienne, his girlfriend of also two years, and Pete is with Ashlee, his girlfriend of about a year. he's practically raping her on the dance floor. I rolled my eyes and walked over to the bar.
"How can I help ya, sugar?"
The lady bartender asked.
"Get me a shot of vodka."
I said without even looking up at her.
"Ooh. Rough night eh?"
She asked. I decided not to be a jerk and to look up at her. She was turned away and fetching me a shot glass. I smiled as she poured the clear liquid.
"Go ahead, I'm all ears." She said. I took in a deep breath and looked down at the liquor.
"Look, I don't even know you. No one ever gives a fuck about me so why should I bore you with my shitty problems?" I asked.
"Aw you don't believe that load of bull anymore than I do. There's something else botherin' ya, mack." I thought about the situation. Yeah, I don't know this lady. For all I know she could be this psyco killer. What the hell. I have nothing to loose.
"Well, me and my girlfriend recently broke up. Turns out she was using me for my money and for the exposure so she could get her modeling career off the ground."
She looked shocked.
"Yeah. I kinda got the feeling that I was being used before we got serious, but I just wanted to be loved. Seeing my friends with decent women that actually care for them was eating me alive. Sometimes I feel that no one can ever care for me."
With that depressing thought I finally downed my shot. I motioned for another.
"Continue, slick." She said pouring the liquor.
"After 4 months, we moved in together, and she started dressing differently. Every time I went out with the guys, she would beg for to come along. When the press would take pictures of me, she'd smile big and hold me tight. A part of me knew what she was doing. That part of me wanted to push her off of me and stand up for myself, but the other part of me...the hopeless pathetic needy part of me let her do it. Because it was attention I needed. Attention I craved for..."
I downed the second shot and motioned for another.
"Then after a while, when we would all go out. She started spending a lot more time with Pete. LOTS of more time with Pete. It started out with a playful punch, then a surprise touch to the waist. Then she would always joke about Pete being the sexiest man she'd ever seen. And I would just put on a happy face and act like it didn't bother me. Like it wasn't eating me up inside and tearing the very depths of my soul."
A tear slipped out of my eye. The bartender slipped me an extra napkin.
"Then one night, we all had a party. Everyone got so wasted, including me. We all fell asleep in a huge hotel suite. I must have been passed out for a while, because the next day..."
I struggled to fight back more tears.
"...the next day I found out her and Pete had slept together."
The bartenders eyes grew in shock.
"Yeah...I was so afraid of loosing her, I... I told her that it was okay. That she was drunk and didn't know what she was doing... I still remember her response so clearly..."
I took in a deep breath.
"And that was?" She asked.
I swallowed the growing lump in my throat.
"She said...that she didn't need me anymore...that she was done milking this cow."
I looked down at my shoes.
"Of course she left. She ran off with about half of my net worth in gifts, a year and a half of exposure, a place to live with utilities, and she got to fuck Pete Wentz."
"No sugar... don't put yourself down. You seem like a nice young man."
Yeah...a nice young stupid man. I just smiled weakly at her. I turned my attention to the dance floor. I couldn't see Pete and Ashlee. But then I saw two figures sitting in a booth. It was them. They weren't making out or anything, but Pete was just holding her. My face developed a frown.
"Why can't I have that?"
I asked no one imp-articular. I hadn't noticed that tears were now staining my face. The bartender came out from behind the counter and hugged me.
"Why can't anyone ever love me?"
I mumbled through my pathetic weeping.
"Shhh. You'll find love, sugar." She cooed.
"When?"
I asked immediately feeling stupid. How would she know? I guess I just wanted to her comforting words.
"When the time is right."
I weeped harder. I'm pretty sure I ruined her shirt with my tears. After a good five minutes of uninterrupted tears I finally let go of this guardian angel. I sniffed and looked at her trying to memorize her face.
"Thank You."
I said. She smiled.
"It's my job, sugar." I reached into my wallet to pay for my shots but she stopped me.
"It's on me, sugar."
She said smiling.
"Okay thanks, but please take this..."
I said pulling out my wallet and pulling out a 50.
"Oh no, sugar. I can't take your money." She said pushing it back.
"Please take it."
I whispered. She sighed.
"But..."
"Shh. Please..."
I said. She nodded.
"Thank you." She said.
"Oh no. Thank you."
I said back. She smiled.
"Good Luck On Tour, Patrick."
She said. My eyes widened.
"How do you know my-" "My daughter listen to you guys all time."
She explained.
"Oh my...you won't tell the press about thi-"
"It's between a bartender and a customer."
She said warmly.
"Thank you so much."
"If it makes any difference, my daughter is positively smitten with you, sugar. Ya mind signing this?"
She asked pulling a copy of Infinity On High out of her purse.
"You carry it with you?"
I asked.
"My daughter told me to listen to it. You guys aren't half bad."
I smiled and told her I would get all the guys to sign it. After that was done I gave the CD back to her, hugged her one last time and read her name tag. Rosie. My guardian angel. I went back to my apartment to try and get some sleep. We hit the road for The Honda Civic Tour tomorrow and I don't want to be late.
In Patrick's Point Of View
"Whoo! TOUR TIME!!!" Joe yelled. Ugh. I have no idea why he's so upbeat. Sure, tours mean cash, seeing fans and hanging out with my three best friends. But they also mean being away from home. Being on that stage, so much stress. Sleeping on a bus that is always moving around. Sharing a small bathroom with three guys including the bus driver. Sleeping just inches away from the ceiling or a bunk above me. Always having to look happy for the fans. They worry. Well, they worry about Pete. About how Pete's gonna look on the show they go to. Weather or not he'll take his shirt off, how much eyeliner he's gonna wear. They never seem to worry about about Joe's health, Andy's back problems, and surely not Patrick slowly forgetting what it feels like to be happy. Just about who Pete calls Baby. I sighed and struggled to remember the last time I really felt happy. Was I ever happy?
"TRICK!" Pete yelled popping open a champagne bottle. The limo hit a bump in the road causing Pete to spill the fuzz of the champagne. It fell all over the limos floor staining it and making it reek of alcohol.
"Damn it Pete, look what you did." I said looking around for a towel to clean up his mess.
"Like it was my fault. Their was a bump in the road. I say it's Chicago's fault."
He said putting one arm around his girlfriend, Ashlee.
"Sure, it's never Pete's fault. it's always someone Else's fault. Cause Pete can do no wrong. He's the king of every-fucking thing."
I said getting on my knees and putting a towel to the pool of champagne. Fucking conceited I swear.
"Awww. Is P.M.S PMS'ing?"
Ashlee asked laughing. Pete smiled and kissed her cheek. I rolled my eyes. I don't hate either of them, it's just together they're this annoying pair who's job is to make my life a living hell.
"Aw, Leave Trick Alone. He's just mentally preparing for the tour. Right, Patrick?" Andy asked. I sighed.
"Sure."
Eventually we made it to the club we would be partying at. It felt so good knowing we weren't here to preform. Just to try and have some fun. It seems impossible to have any fun here. The music sucks, the lighting is horrible and everyone is prancing around with someone. Andy is with Jackie, his girlfriend of two years. Joe is with Adrienne, his girlfriend of also two years, and Pete is with Ashlee, his girlfriend of about a year. he's practically raping her on the dance floor. I rolled my eyes and walked over to the bar.
"How can I help ya, sugar?"
The lady bartender asked.
"Get me a shot of vodka."
I said without even looking up at her.
"Ooh. Rough night eh?"
She asked. I decided not to be a jerk and to look up at her. She was turned away and fetching me a shot glass. I smiled as she poured the clear liquid.
"Go ahead, I'm all ears." She said. I took in a deep breath and looked down at the liquor.
"Look, I don't even know you. No one ever gives a fuck about me so why should I bore you with my shitty problems?" I asked.
"Aw you don't believe that load of bull anymore than I do. There's something else botherin' ya, mack." I thought about the situation. Yeah, I don't know this lady. For all I know she could be this psyco killer. What the hell. I have nothing to loose.
"Well, me and my girlfriend recently broke up. Turns out she was using me for my money and for the exposure so she could get her modeling career off the ground."
She looked shocked.
"Yeah. I kinda got the feeling that I was being used before we got serious, but I just wanted to be loved. Seeing my friends with decent women that actually care for them was eating me alive. Sometimes I feel that no one can ever care for me."
With that depressing thought I finally downed my shot. I motioned for another.
"Continue, slick." She said pouring the liquor.
"After 4 months, we moved in together, and she started dressing differently. Every time I went out with the guys, she would beg for to come along. When the press would take pictures of me, she'd smile big and hold me tight. A part of me knew what she was doing. That part of me wanted to push her off of me and stand up for myself, but the other part of me...the hopeless pathetic needy part of me let her do it. Because it was attention I needed. Attention I craved for..."
I downed the second shot and motioned for another.
"Then after a while, when we would all go out. She started spending a lot more time with Pete. LOTS of more time with Pete. It started out with a playful punch, then a surprise touch to the waist. Then she would always joke about Pete being the sexiest man she'd ever seen. And I would just put on a happy face and act like it didn't bother me. Like it wasn't eating me up inside and tearing the very depths of my soul."
A tear slipped out of my eye. The bartender slipped me an extra napkin.
"Then one night, we all had a party. Everyone got so wasted, including me. We all fell asleep in a huge hotel suite. I must have been passed out for a while, because the next day..."
I struggled to fight back more tears.
"...the next day I found out her and Pete had slept together."
The bartenders eyes grew in shock.
"Yeah...I was so afraid of loosing her, I... I told her that it was okay. That she was drunk and didn't know what she was doing... I still remember her response so clearly..."
I took in a deep breath.
"And that was?" She asked.
I swallowed the growing lump in my throat.
"She said...that she didn't need me anymore...that she was done milking this cow."
I looked down at my shoes.
"Of course she left. She ran off with about half of my net worth in gifts, a year and a half of exposure, a place to live with utilities, and she got to fuck Pete Wentz."
"No sugar... don't put yourself down. You seem like a nice young man."
Yeah...a nice young stupid man. I just smiled weakly at her. I turned my attention to the dance floor. I couldn't see Pete and Ashlee. But then I saw two figures sitting in a booth. It was them. They weren't making out or anything, but Pete was just holding her. My face developed a frown.
"Why can't I have that?"
I asked no one imp-articular. I hadn't noticed that tears were now staining my face. The bartender came out from behind the counter and hugged me.
"Why can't anyone ever love me?"
I mumbled through my pathetic weeping.
"Shhh. You'll find love, sugar." She cooed.
"When?"
I asked immediately feeling stupid. How would she know? I guess I just wanted to her comforting words.
"When the time is right."
I weeped harder. I'm pretty sure I ruined her shirt with my tears. After a good five minutes of uninterrupted tears I finally let go of this guardian angel. I sniffed and looked at her trying to memorize her face.
"Thank You."
I said. She smiled.
"It's my job, sugar." I reached into my wallet to pay for my shots but she stopped me.
"It's on me, sugar."
She said smiling.
"Okay thanks, but please take this..."
I said pulling out my wallet and pulling out a 50.
"Oh no, sugar. I can't take your money." She said pushing it back.
"Please take it."
I whispered. She sighed.
"But..."
"Shh. Please..."
I said. She nodded.
"Thank you." She said.
"Oh no. Thank you."
I said back. She smiled.
"Good Luck On Tour, Patrick."
She said. My eyes widened.
"How do you know my-" "My daughter listen to you guys all time."
She explained.
"Oh my...you won't tell the press about thi-"
"It's between a bartender and a customer."
She said warmly.
"Thank you so much."
"If it makes any difference, my daughter is positively smitten with you, sugar. Ya mind signing this?"
She asked pulling a copy of Infinity On High out of her purse.
"You carry it with you?"
I asked.
"My daughter told me to listen to it. You guys aren't half bad."
I smiled and told her I would get all the guys to sign it. After that was done I gave the CD back to her, hugged her one last time and read her name tag. Rosie. My guardian angel. I went back to my apartment to try and get some sleep. We hit the road for The Honda Civic Tour tomorrow and I don't want to be late.
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