Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto > Sugar and Tomato Juice
Food poisoning is a cause of many house deaths, you know.
0Unrated
Chouri wa atashi no tsumi ja nai!
I'm not good at cooking!
So this is your life from now-on, right? You suddenly got dumped into a world you thought only existed in the head of a certain Masashi Kishimoto(you knew your anime!). And here you were, in Konoha, and in Kakashi Hatake's APPARTEMENT, no less. Wow. You sure had in good in your weird, screwy moments. Like that time you got hit by a car. Turns out that the driver was a super-sexy guy who got out of his car and escorted you to his place(since it was nearer). And he wasn't even interested in raping you! Yeah, you had stupid sheer luck when it came to weird situations.
Like being spotted by a twenty-something(six or eight?) year old super awesome AND handsome shinobi when you... Were falling... From the sky...
Yeah, did I say weird moments?
As of now, you were comfortably installed in the living room, on the couch, lazily flipping through the pages of the book that had proven to be quite the distraction for you. SURE, it contained sobjects and matters not suitable for a younger audience, but heck, you had nothing better to do that night. Not to mention that you(admittedly) had a twisted mind. And besides, Kakashi was right; the book DID have an interesting, albeit complexe, stoyline, and the characters were pretty intricate as well. SO why not enjoy a nice piece of litterature?
Did I mention you'd gone shopping that day? Yes, well, Kakashi had decided that you wouldn't be rummaging through his stuff anymore after he saw the condition in which his room had been left in. Let's say you had gone a litle crazy... And threw everything on the floor but ANYWAYS(not like you had any choice...). He'd taken you out, and(funny thing), people didn't actually stare at you because of how you LOOKED, more like who you were WITH. Well, that's the impression you got, anyways. You'd bought just a few things(seeing as you'd go crazy tomorrow after Shizune would stop by), one of which was the nightgown and silken bathrobe you were currently dressed in. And they felt FRICKIN' nice, seriously. You'd always dreamt of having a silk nightgown(tch, what girl in her right mind DOESN'T?), and now you had a nightgown, a bathrobe, an appartement you were sharing with probably the sexiest guy you'd seen so far, AND you were going to get a job tomorrow.
Yeah, you had the WEIRDEST yet most AWESOME life ever.
Your watch beeped three times. It was nine o'clock AGAIN. You sighed as you flipped the book to your right on the couch, yawning and stretching. Who knew that switching worlds and answering questions all day could be so damn tiring? Well, you did. Now, at least.
Sighing, you picked up the book again; at least, you WANTED to pick it back up, when you noticed it wasn't where you'd left it anymore.
"...I was reading that." You grumbled, crossing you arms and staring at the jounin you hadn't noticed had walked into the room. To reclaim his precious little book. You shrugged and looked away, to the nearest window. Which was to your left(just being specific here).
"And I have a few questions I'd like for you to answer." Kakashi said in a pleased tone, though you shivered at the intentions BEHIND that little happy voice. You KNEW it was fake. You'd watched the shows long enough to know very well that 'I have a few questions' + happy tone perplexed/angry Kakashi. And you'd have wnated to AVOID that a little longer.
"If it's about where I come from, I'm sorrym but Tsunade-sama strictly forbid me to reveal anything." You answered determinedly, though your confidance started wavering a bit. Oh yeah, that guy is tall. And when you're sitting on a LOW couch, he's even MORE freakishly tall. Which made you feel VERY puny, to say the least.
"Actually, it's about anything else but that." Kakashi replied with the same pleased tone, taking a seat uncomfortably close beside you. You inwardly sighed in relief, though. After all, he's a LOT smaller when he's sitting down thanwhen he's standing and loomin over you like a hawk.
"...Define anything else. I can talk for hours if I don't know WHAT I have to talk about..." You answered sheepishly, unconsciously scratching the back of your neck. Well, it's true; if Kakashi didn't specify WHAT he wanted you to talk about... You'd have to started from the very beginning of you. Which would mean your birth. And then work up gradually, passing through EVERY SINGLE weird event that's happened in your life. And trust me, you had enough weird events to fill up a few libraries.
"How about your age, what you like and what you dislike?" Kakashi offered, his eyes still curved in that indicating sign that he was smiling. Even though you never got how people couldn't imagine what his face was like... That mask was RALTIVELY taught over his face. You could even vaguely see his smile.
...Or was it a smirk?
"I'm twenty-two, I like people who don't question me too much and hate people who can't decide what to do with their lives." I replied casually, giving the smae smile that you could mistake for a smirk. But it really was a smirk. "But seriously." You chuckled a bit, smiling honestly. "I like a lot of things. Way too many for me to put down on a list. Like the different foods I like, the people I'm attached to, what I like to watch, what colors I like and all that... Though I really do hate people who don't know what to do with their lives. Seriously. They piss me off."
The 'discussion', which was really more like a monologue, continued on like this for about half an hour, when you had finally decided to enquire Kakashi about his own likes, dislikes, and maybe pry a little information on his past. Even though you knew a few things about him from the anime and bits of the manga you read in your spare time, you still wanted to hear his version of the facts.
Which would, it seems, never come.
"It's getting late." He finally declared, staring at you with that same blank and dull look in the single eye you could see. "You should get some rest, Yuuko-san." He added, and you cringed a bit when you heard '-san'. It made you sound so... So OLD!
"Please, just Yuuko..." You muttered, before sighing and getting up, realising you didn't really know where to go, "But, where AM I sleeping?" you finally asked, staring down at the silver-haired jounin. Oh, yeah, one of the questions you had asked him was about his hair... The outcome had been pretty funny on that one.
"Why's your hair grey?" you asked after a few seconds of silence after he'd answered something about his lame excuses. Something about 'stick around and you'll find out'. You thought it'd be best to avoid that if possible.
"...It's not grey, it's silver." He stated dryly, almost sounded offended. "And it's like that naturally." He scoffed, turning away as he crossed his arms.
"Is it really as soft as people say it is?" You asked again, not really thinking of the answer you might give if he asked you where the hell you'd heard that. And he quirked a brow, too, but seemed to ignore that little bit of you hearing he had silky hair. Oh well.
"Yes, it is. Run your hands through your own hair and you'll know-"
"OH MY GAWD!"
And then you fell off the couch.
"...In my room." Kakashi said simply, in that weird matter-of-a-fact tone, as if it was the most OBVIOUS thing in the world. Like you had asked a sstupid question that needed a not-so-stupid answer.
"...And you'll be sleeping..?" you asked again, a LITTLE scared of the answer on that one. You WERE dealing with the guy you had seen in cosplay chasing a girl around mumbling 'boobies'. Yeah, those ninja videos really made you laugh on rainy days.
"In my room. Where else?" He asnwered, as I could already see that stupid smug smirk on his face. Oh, I knew all too well where this was going.
"On a futon?" you asked AGAIN, narrowing your eyes and raissing a brow. Suspicion, suspicion... You seriously didn't trust the guy.
"Of course-"
Relieved sigh.
"Not."
Oh yeah, you were about the go into a nervous breakdown, smack Kakashi across the face, plunder him to the ground, burn every single one of the stupid Icha Icha novels(after having read them, of COURSE) and then spit on his rotting corpse.
But you'd have to actually be able you REACH him for that to ever happen. How sucky it is not to have gotten into those kendo and karate classes...
"I'm going to go see Tsunade and telling her you're sexually assaulting me if you really keep that up, Kakashi-SAMA." You growled, tightetning your arms seeing as they were already crossed. If they HADN'T been, you would've crossed them, 'humphed' and turned your head around. But all of that was already done, so yeah.
"Oi, I was just joking..." Kakashi sgiehd, running a ditraught hand through his hair. Man, how he didn't sigh in pure joy when he felt his hair was a mystery to you. You guessed he was used to it my now. Not like a certain other person in the room(-coughYOUcough-). "I'm sleeping on the couch."
"Now way! What if I'm attacked during the night?! What if someone knows I'm from an other-" oh shit, you thought. You went a LITTLE too far there, You inwardly smacked yourself a hundred times over, only wincing physically.
"...An other what? Country? People won't kill you because of that." Kakashi snickered, and you almost lunged forwards to strangle him. Thank god you had SOME self-control over yourself. Otherwise, a lot of people would already be dead. Notingly Tsunade(for asking so many damn pointless questions), Kakashi, your parents, cousins, friends, and MOSTLY your brother. DAMN did he ever piss you off! And it was constant!
Augh.
"...Ooh, you don't know WHAT country... The Akatsuki would probably do anything to know what I know..." You muttered again, growled at yourself AGAIN, and this time, you really hit your head against the wall. Damn you and your overly-large mouth and talk-on-impulse habit. You'd seriously have to get rid of that as soon as humanly possible.
"...what DO you know?" Kakashi asked, in that tone that just SCREAMED 'Tell me what you know or I'm squeezing the answers out of you and THEN killing you'. And the thought wasn't really all that pleasant to you, to be honest. Not like the idea of being roughly handled by the sexiest man alive didn't sound that bad, but it's mostly the fact that you'd die afterwards that scared the heck out of you.
"A lot of things that Tsunade-sama told me not to tell. Otherwise I'll probably get killed. By you and by her, AND by anyone else who wants to know what I know. PLEASE don't kill me!" you whined, letting your head rest against the wal you had been hitting it on. Poor wall. What did it do to deserve this..? "And besides, I have to go rest. Oyasumi nasai!" You said in a cheery tone, heading back to the room you were going to borrow for...
A while, I guess.
----------------------------------------------------
Birds chirping again... Man, if there was one thing you hated early in the morning(your watch hadn't beeped yet, so it was before nine) was the sound of stupid little high-pitched birds singing. It seriously made your ears bleed. You'd almost killed one of those little house finches once, too. Which lead you do daydream about home. In Canada. And then your parents. Your mother had been to Japan a few times. Which would explain your name and the sparse japanese you knew. Though your father was french and english, your moom and english, french AND japanese. She was quite the looker back in the days.
And then she had two kids.
You snickered ightly at the though, thinking about how your mom would so TOTALLY be strangling you right now if she'd heard you saying that. Mom... Hm, you were starting to wonder if they even knew you were gone yet. Probably. She was probably freaking out right about now... Calling up everyone you knew, crying her ass off because nobody could find you...
Maybe they'd air your case on TV? Oh, maybe they'd make your story into an epsiode of Without a Trace..! That would be nice...
You yawned and rubbed the sleep out of your eyes for about five minutes, befor lifting your head... And eventually swearing a few times, holding the top of your head, just like yesterday. You would seriously have to make Kakashi swallow that damned shelf. How the HELL did he manage not to kill himself every day..?!
You sighed and looked down at your watch, swearing an other time when you saw it was only a few minutes past six in the freakin' MORNING. Groaning, you hesitantly got out of bed, knowing you wouldn't be able to get an other minute of sleep, and made your way to the living room, finding someone was already sleeping on the couch.
Come to think of it, you were expecting to trip on a futon in the morning, and you hadn't. Oh well. And least Hatake was nice enough to give you your privacy. You smiled lightly as he slept. Weird how his hand was conveniently place in front of his mouth and eye...
That's when reality brutally sank in.
He was there, on the couch, probably half-naked, no mask, no forehead protector, just... THERE. And sleeping, no less! The orange book started to run images through your head, but you shook them away violently, your eyes resting back on the hand covering the jounin's face. Oh, how you wanted to reach out and pull it away..! But, this wasn't one of those fanfictions of or This was, sadly, reality. And if you tried anything, he'd probably kill you on the spot. Dang. And you wanted to see his face so bad..!!
You sighed again and twirled around, heading for the kitchen. Might as well make some breakfast while you were at it. And get used to where everything was in the kitchen.
"...Great. I'm going to die of food poisoning before I can even get a job..!" You whined, hitting your head on the kitchen counter.
I'm not good at cooking!
So this is your life from now-on, right? You suddenly got dumped into a world you thought only existed in the head of a certain Masashi Kishimoto(you knew your anime!). And here you were, in Konoha, and in Kakashi Hatake's APPARTEMENT, no less. Wow. You sure had in good in your weird, screwy moments. Like that time you got hit by a car. Turns out that the driver was a super-sexy guy who got out of his car and escorted you to his place(since it was nearer). And he wasn't even interested in raping you! Yeah, you had stupid sheer luck when it came to weird situations.
Like being spotted by a twenty-something(six or eight?) year old super awesome AND handsome shinobi when you... Were falling... From the sky...
Yeah, did I say weird moments?
As of now, you were comfortably installed in the living room, on the couch, lazily flipping through the pages of the book that had proven to be quite the distraction for you. SURE, it contained sobjects and matters not suitable for a younger audience, but heck, you had nothing better to do that night. Not to mention that you(admittedly) had a twisted mind. And besides, Kakashi was right; the book DID have an interesting, albeit complexe, stoyline, and the characters were pretty intricate as well. SO why not enjoy a nice piece of litterature?
Did I mention you'd gone shopping that day? Yes, well, Kakashi had decided that you wouldn't be rummaging through his stuff anymore after he saw the condition in which his room had been left in. Let's say you had gone a litle crazy... And threw everything on the floor but ANYWAYS(not like you had any choice...). He'd taken you out, and(funny thing), people didn't actually stare at you because of how you LOOKED, more like who you were WITH. Well, that's the impression you got, anyways. You'd bought just a few things(seeing as you'd go crazy tomorrow after Shizune would stop by), one of which was the nightgown and silken bathrobe you were currently dressed in. And they felt FRICKIN' nice, seriously. You'd always dreamt of having a silk nightgown(tch, what girl in her right mind DOESN'T?), and now you had a nightgown, a bathrobe, an appartement you were sharing with probably the sexiest guy you'd seen so far, AND you were going to get a job tomorrow.
Yeah, you had the WEIRDEST yet most AWESOME life ever.
Your watch beeped three times. It was nine o'clock AGAIN. You sighed as you flipped the book to your right on the couch, yawning and stretching. Who knew that switching worlds and answering questions all day could be so damn tiring? Well, you did. Now, at least.
Sighing, you picked up the book again; at least, you WANTED to pick it back up, when you noticed it wasn't where you'd left it anymore.
"...I was reading that." You grumbled, crossing you arms and staring at the jounin you hadn't noticed had walked into the room. To reclaim his precious little book. You shrugged and looked away, to the nearest window. Which was to your left(just being specific here).
"And I have a few questions I'd like for you to answer." Kakashi said in a pleased tone, though you shivered at the intentions BEHIND that little happy voice. You KNEW it was fake. You'd watched the shows long enough to know very well that 'I have a few questions' + happy tone perplexed/angry Kakashi. And you'd have wnated to AVOID that a little longer.
"If it's about where I come from, I'm sorrym but Tsunade-sama strictly forbid me to reveal anything." You answered determinedly, though your confidance started wavering a bit. Oh yeah, that guy is tall. And when you're sitting on a LOW couch, he's even MORE freakishly tall. Which made you feel VERY puny, to say the least.
"Actually, it's about anything else but that." Kakashi replied with the same pleased tone, taking a seat uncomfortably close beside you. You inwardly sighed in relief, though. After all, he's a LOT smaller when he's sitting down thanwhen he's standing and loomin over you like a hawk.
"...Define anything else. I can talk for hours if I don't know WHAT I have to talk about..." You answered sheepishly, unconsciously scratching the back of your neck. Well, it's true; if Kakashi didn't specify WHAT he wanted you to talk about... You'd have to started from the very beginning of you. Which would mean your birth. And then work up gradually, passing through EVERY SINGLE weird event that's happened in your life. And trust me, you had enough weird events to fill up a few libraries.
"How about your age, what you like and what you dislike?" Kakashi offered, his eyes still curved in that indicating sign that he was smiling. Even though you never got how people couldn't imagine what his face was like... That mask was RALTIVELY taught over his face. You could even vaguely see his smile.
...Or was it a smirk?
"I'm twenty-two, I like people who don't question me too much and hate people who can't decide what to do with their lives." I replied casually, giving the smae smile that you could mistake for a smirk. But it really was a smirk. "But seriously." You chuckled a bit, smiling honestly. "I like a lot of things. Way too many for me to put down on a list. Like the different foods I like, the people I'm attached to, what I like to watch, what colors I like and all that... Though I really do hate people who don't know what to do with their lives. Seriously. They piss me off."
The 'discussion', which was really more like a monologue, continued on like this for about half an hour, when you had finally decided to enquire Kakashi about his own likes, dislikes, and maybe pry a little information on his past. Even though you knew a few things about him from the anime and bits of the manga you read in your spare time, you still wanted to hear his version of the facts.
Which would, it seems, never come.
"It's getting late." He finally declared, staring at you with that same blank and dull look in the single eye you could see. "You should get some rest, Yuuko-san." He added, and you cringed a bit when you heard '-san'. It made you sound so... So OLD!
"Please, just Yuuko..." You muttered, before sighing and getting up, realising you didn't really know where to go, "But, where AM I sleeping?" you finally asked, staring down at the silver-haired jounin. Oh, yeah, one of the questions you had asked him was about his hair... The outcome had been pretty funny on that one.
"Why's your hair grey?" you asked after a few seconds of silence after he'd answered something about his lame excuses. Something about 'stick around and you'll find out'. You thought it'd be best to avoid that if possible.
"...It's not grey, it's silver." He stated dryly, almost sounded offended. "And it's like that naturally." He scoffed, turning away as he crossed his arms.
"Is it really as soft as people say it is?" You asked again, not really thinking of the answer you might give if he asked you where the hell you'd heard that. And he quirked a brow, too, but seemed to ignore that little bit of you hearing he had silky hair. Oh well.
"Yes, it is. Run your hands through your own hair and you'll know-"
"OH MY GAWD!"
And then you fell off the couch.
"...In my room." Kakashi said simply, in that weird matter-of-a-fact tone, as if it was the most OBVIOUS thing in the world. Like you had asked a sstupid question that needed a not-so-stupid answer.
"...And you'll be sleeping..?" you asked again, a LITTLE scared of the answer on that one. You WERE dealing with the guy you had seen in cosplay chasing a girl around mumbling 'boobies'. Yeah, those ninja videos really made you laugh on rainy days.
"In my room. Where else?" He asnwered, as I could already see that stupid smug smirk on his face. Oh, I knew all too well where this was going.
"On a futon?" you asked AGAIN, narrowing your eyes and raissing a brow. Suspicion, suspicion... You seriously didn't trust the guy.
"Of course-"
Relieved sigh.
"Not."
Oh yeah, you were about the go into a nervous breakdown, smack Kakashi across the face, plunder him to the ground, burn every single one of the stupid Icha Icha novels(after having read them, of COURSE) and then spit on his rotting corpse.
But you'd have to actually be able you REACH him for that to ever happen. How sucky it is not to have gotten into those kendo and karate classes...
"I'm going to go see Tsunade and telling her you're sexually assaulting me if you really keep that up, Kakashi-SAMA." You growled, tightetning your arms seeing as they were already crossed. If they HADN'T been, you would've crossed them, 'humphed' and turned your head around. But all of that was already done, so yeah.
"Oi, I was just joking..." Kakashi sgiehd, running a ditraught hand through his hair. Man, how he didn't sigh in pure joy when he felt his hair was a mystery to you. You guessed he was used to it my now. Not like a certain other person in the room(-coughYOUcough-). "I'm sleeping on the couch."
"Now way! What if I'm attacked during the night?! What if someone knows I'm from an other-" oh shit, you thought. You went a LITTLE too far there, You inwardly smacked yourself a hundred times over, only wincing physically.
"...An other what? Country? People won't kill you because of that." Kakashi snickered, and you almost lunged forwards to strangle him. Thank god you had SOME self-control over yourself. Otherwise, a lot of people would already be dead. Notingly Tsunade(for asking so many damn pointless questions), Kakashi, your parents, cousins, friends, and MOSTLY your brother. DAMN did he ever piss you off! And it was constant!
Augh.
"...Ooh, you don't know WHAT country... The Akatsuki would probably do anything to know what I know..." You muttered again, growled at yourself AGAIN, and this time, you really hit your head against the wall. Damn you and your overly-large mouth and talk-on-impulse habit. You'd seriously have to get rid of that as soon as humanly possible.
"...what DO you know?" Kakashi asked, in that tone that just SCREAMED 'Tell me what you know or I'm squeezing the answers out of you and THEN killing you'. And the thought wasn't really all that pleasant to you, to be honest. Not like the idea of being roughly handled by the sexiest man alive didn't sound that bad, but it's mostly the fact that you'd die afterwards that scared the heck out of you.
"A lot of things that Tsunade-sama told me not to tell. Otherwise I'll probably get killed. By you and by her, AND by anyone else who wants to know what I know. PLEASE don't kill me!" you whined, letting your head rest against the wal you had been hitting it on. Poor wall. What did it do to deserve this..? "And besides, I have to go rest. Oyasumi nasai!" You said in a cheery tone, heading back to the room you were going to borrow for...
A while, I guess.
----------------------------------------------------
Birds chirping again... Man, if there was one thing you hated early in the morning(your watch hadn't beeped yet, so it was before nine) was the sound of stupid little high-pitched birds singing. It seriously made your ears bleed. You'd almost killed one of those little house finches once, too. Which lead you do daydream about home. In Canada. And then your parents. Your mother had been to Japan a few times. Which would explain your name and the sparse japanese you knew. Though your father was french and english, your moom and english, french AND japanese. She was quite the looker back in the days.
And then she had two kids.
You snickered ightly at the though, thinking about how your mom would so TOTALLY be strangling you right now if she'd heard you saying that. Mom... Hm, you were starting to wonder if they even knew you were gone yet. Probably. She was probably freaking out right about now... Calling up everyone you knew, crying her ass off because nobody could find you...
Maybe they'd air your case on TV? Oh, maybe they'd make your story into an epsiode of Without a Trace..! That would be nice...
You yawned and rubbed the sleep out of your eyes for about five minutes, befor lifting your head... And eventually swearing a few times, holding the top of your head, just like yesterday. You would seriously have to make Kakashi swallow that damned shelf. How the HELL did he manage not to kill himself every day..?!
You sighed and looked down at your watch, swearing an other time when you saw it was only a few minutes past six in the freakin' MORNING. Groaning, you hesitantly got out of bed, knowing you wouldn't be able to get an other minute of sleep, and made your way to the living room, finding someone was already sleeping on the couch.
Come to think of it, you were expecting to trip on a futon in the morning, and you hadn't. Oh well. And least Hatake was nice enough to give you your privacy. You smiled lightly as he slept. Weird how his hand was conveniently place in front of his mouth and eye...
That's when reality brutally sank in.
He was there, on the couch, probably half-naked, no mask, no forehead protector, just... THERE. And sleeping, no less! The orange book started to run images through your head, but you shook them away violently, your eyes resting back on the hand covering the jounin's face. Oh, how you wanted to reach out and pull it away..! But, this wasn't one of those fanfictions of or This was, sadly, reality. And if you tried anything, he'd probably kill you on the spot. Dang. And you wanted to see his face so bad..!!
You sighed again and twirled around, heading for the kitchen. Might as well make some breakfast while you were at it. And get used to where everything was in the kitchen.
"...Great. I'm going to die of food poisoning before I can even get a job..!" You whined, hitting your head on the kitchen counter.
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