Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Awake
The smell of coffee and the twisting of my stomach initiated the fluttering of my eyes slowly opening to rest on Frank who was sitting on the edge of the bed, a grin and a steaming cup of coffee in hand, which he quickly handed to me.
“How do you feel?” Taking a careful sip, I felt the instant warmth spread through my veins melting the ice of the night before. I debated how best to answer the question. ‘Like shit?’ or perhaps ‘Like I want to die’ was a better option.
“Tired.” I consented for and he nodded as if he understood, pressing forwards a bowl of cereal. I scowled at it, my stomach distorting in protest.
“You haven’t eaten since yesterday.” A pleading response to my look of disgust; I knew what he said was true, but I really just wanted to finish my warm coffee and then go back to sleep, a sleep that had, for once, been relatively dreamless. Picking up the spoon, he ladled a bit of the slightly soggy cereal onto it, moving it towards my lips like I was a child that couldn’t feed myself. The thought made me think of my mom.
Without warning I burst into tears, the warm salty liquid streaking down my cheeks, my hands reaching up to cup my face within them as I felt my shoulders quake with the soft sobs escaping my lips.
I heard his soft intake of breath, surprise and confusion no doubt etched across his features, those hazel eyes wide at my sudden mood change. I watched through blurry eyes and fingers as he placed the bowl down on the bedside table, shifting slightly on the corner of mattress he currently occupied, his inscribed fingers rubbing across his face as he observed me in the creation a lake.
“Are you ever going to let me go?” Regret dropped my stomach even as the words slipped past my lips, his look of concern quickly replaced with one of anger as he pushed off of the bed, his brows contracting as his fists curled. Dropping my hands I looked up pleadingly at him, praying he might still answer my dreams. His scowl said otherwise.
“No.” He spat the word at me. “Stop asking.” Leaving the room with a slam of the door, I hated him in that moment with a passion I hadn’t known existed in me.
He refused to talk to me the rest of the day, wouldn’t even stay in the same room with for more than a few seconds. As much as I knew this feat should have made me smile with glee, my heart flooded with achievement, I found I only felt empty, watching him with dead eyes leave the room, never once making eye contact with me. I felt like I didn’t exist in a world I had never asked to be part of.
Though the anger and hate I had felt boiling within me earlier had refused to dissipated throughout the day, I found it was no longer directed at him; I was angry at myself, infuriated that I had upset him so much that he refused to look at me. I found myself longing for that smirk, a simple touch or even a kind gesture, and with that knowledge, I knew that he had more than simply trapped me in the house.
The only relief came at midnight when I decided to end my staring contest with the ceramic dog in the corner and head towards the bedroom, knowing he was in the basement and would likely stay there for a few more hours, only returning when he knew I was unconscious in sleep.
Slipping beneath the covers, the only relief came with the thought that as mad as I must have made him, I had received no form of punishment; a reflection that made me imagine he might have been staying away from me for that very reason - to protect me. Sleep overtook me as a small smile played the corners of my lips.
My eyes snapped open, wide and terrified, as I became aware of hands sliding up and down my body, hot breath spiriting across my neck. Swallowing hard, I realized the error in my earlier belief, reeling with a pain like I’d been slapped.
“You’re mine…” Burying the right side of my face against the pillow, I tried to keep my eyes as far away from his as possible; I didn’t want him to know any more satisfaction, and the pounding of my heart and tingling in the pit of my stomach as his hands continued to roam across my naked body would only fuel his desire to hurt me. I had learned long ago to simply shut my eyes and wait for it to end, though that was usually easier said that done. He liked participation and a reaction was always expected; the way his tongue was making a hot trail down my stomach told me tonight would be no exception.
Unable to stop the jerk of my hips, I instead firmly pressed my lips together to suppress the moan that lingered in my throat as his tongue delved lower. The childish giggle that reached my ears rendered my restraint almost useless, my body melting at his touch, the sounds he managed to elict from my lips making him smile against my skin.
“Tell me Kael, do you still want to leave?” I tried to shake my head against the pillow I was pressing it back into, my body on fire.
Unsatisfied with my lack of verbal response, he stopped his ministrations, triggering the snap upwards of my head to look down at him, smirking, eyes glimmering in the pale moonlight just managing to slip through the bottom of the blinds, illuminating his naked form like a ghost.
My breath was coming in gasps, my body crying out so loudly for him that I did the only sensible thing. I gave in.
“Please Frankie…” His smirk widened at my desperate tone.
“Please Frankie what Kael? Tell me what you want.” Locking eyes, I answered, my voice low and slightly raspy with want.
“Whatever you want to give me. Everything.” I could see his eyes darken, found myself swallowing against the feelings that almost instantly erupted in my chest, as of late, whenever he looked at me, my own heart betraying me.
His tongue ran hotly up and down, tracing my sex, before his fingers pulled the lips apart and his mouth was back on me, my body shivering in anticipation for what I knew would come. His thumb pressed against the hard bundle of nerves before his lips replaced it, wrapping around and sucking hard. I could feel the warmth gathering again in the pit of my stomach, my breathing erratic as my head pressed harder into the pillow beneath.
“Oh fuck…Frankie!” Arching off of the mattress as the orgasm rolled over me I could just make out his figure standing and moving back onto the bed, his features intent.
He slid into me without a word, a soft moan escaping his own lips and the slight widening of my eyes the only indication he had done anything at all. He started moving slowly, his hands bracing his body on either side my shoulders, his eyes staring down at my body, which screamed for him to move faster.
And he did. He could read me like a book, he knew what I wanted and needed before my brain had even registered the desires. Rising to his knees, my hips lifting with the motion, he slammed, hard, into me. The dullest of pains reverberated through my body, the pleasure already overwhelming me; the momentary pain a long forgotten memory of the past.
I could feel his breathing turn erratic against my neck, his fingers tracing along my collarbone before wrapping around my throat, tightening almost instantly, as I gasped against the unexpected sensation. Eyes widened, fear sending my heart into a frenzied overdrive, my hands reaching up to grasp his, my finger nails digging uselessly.
My throat was closing, my brain screaming at me; you’re going to die! He’s going to kill you this time! Hot tears raced down my cheeks, my fingers still pulling frantically at his while he continued to thrust into me, his pace increasing by the second, his eyes glinting mirthlessly down at me, watching me struggle.
I knew my air supply was running out; my fingers becoming lax in their fight to escape, dropping pathetically to my sides, my eyes heavy as I struggled with consciousness.
“You’re never fucking leaving me.” I felt his warm release, my whole body clenching as I somehow managed to come as his death grasp released.
Gasping, my fingers scrambling to hold onto my burning neck, drinking in the much needed oxygen in greedy gulps. Anxiously, I pulled my knees up to my chest, for a moment blissfully unaware of the man staring curiously at me, just inches away as I continued to refill my lungs.
Shaking slightly, both from the near strangulation and the climax that had coincided, I managed to lift tear blurred eyes to hazel ones, meeting for a moment before his arms wrapped around me, pulling me to his chest, still trembling.
“I’m sorry baby…” His voice a soft whisper in the darkness though his presence was the brightest light. “I didn’t mean to hurt you…I’m sorry.” Cursing myself inwardly as my body curled against his slightly perspiring one, craving the warmth of his arms, the way his fingers pulled effortlessly through my pale hair, his words a truth I could make myself believe in the darkness.
Finally, his breathing slowed, giving me reason to snuggle closer to his chest, his arms wrapped protectively around me even in sleep. I wondered if I wasn’t fooling myself; maybe this really was what love was. Maybe I’d had it all along and hadn’t even known it. Certainly, the feeling that erupted in my chest everytime I was around him indicated there was more than simple hate or even lust in my heart for him.
Clamping my eyes shut, I wanted nothing more than for my brain to shut off forever, to stop these thoughts from swirling around my head like water down a drain. Breathing out heavily, I gave in for the second time that night.
“I love you Frankie.” My whispered acquiesce stale in the stark silence of a ‘lovers’ embrace.
-----
I'm really only updating for a friend right now.
I see that people are reading the story, so I can't understand why you aren't reviewing. I really do appreciate knowing how you feel about the story, even criticism is appreciated. Please, just write SOMETHING!
Cheers
Kat
“How do you feel?” Taking a careful sip, I felt the instant warmth spread through my veins melting the ice of the night before. I debated how best to answer the question. ‘Like shit?’ or perhaps ‘Like I want to die’ was a better option.
“Tired.” I consented for and he nodded as if he understood, pressing forwards a bowl of cereal. I scowled at it, my stomach distorting in protest.
“You haven’t eaten since yesterday.” A pleading response to my look of disgust; I knew what he said was true, but I really just wanted to finish my warm coffee and then go back to sleep, a sleep that had, for once, been relatively dreamless. Picking up the spoon, he ladled a bit of the slightly soggy cereal onto it, moving it towards my lips like I was a child that couldn’t feed myself. The thought made me think of my mom.
Without warning I burst into tears, the warm salty liquid streaking down my cheeks, my hands reaching up to cup my face within them as I felt my shoulders quake with the soft sobs escaping my lips.
I heard his soft intake of breath, surprise and confusion no doubt etched across his features, those hazel eyes wide at my sudden mood change. I watched through blurry eyes and fingers as he placed the bowl down on the bedside table, shifting slightly on the corner of mattress he currently occupied, his inscribed fingers rubbing across his face as he observed me in the creation a lake.
“Are you ever going to let me go?” Regret dropped my stomach even as the words slipped past my lips, his look of concern quickly replaced with one of anger as he pushed off of the bed, his brows contracting as his fists curled. Dropping my hands I looked up pleadingly at him, praying he might still answer my dreams. His scowl said otherwise.
“No.” He spat the word at me. “Stop asking.” Leaving the room with a slam of the door, I hated him in that moment with a passion I hadn’t known existed in me.
He refused to talk to me the rest of the day, wouldn’t even stay in the same room with for more than a few seconds. As much as I knew this feat should have made me smile with glee, my heart flooded with achievement, I found I only felt empty, watching him with dead eyes leave the room, never once making eye contact with me. I felt like I didn’t exist in a world I had never asked to be part of.
Though the anger and hate I had felt boiling within me earlier had refused to dissipated throughout the day, I found it was no longer directed at him; I was angry at myself, infuriated that I had upset him so much that he refused to look at me. I found myself longing for that smirk, a simple touch or even a kind gesture, and with that knowledge, I knew that he had more than simply trapped me in the house.
The only relief came at midnight when I decided to end my staring contest with the ceramic dog in the corner and head towards the bedroom, knowing he was in the basement and would likely stay there for a few more hours, only returning when he knew I was unconscious in sleep.
Slipping beneath the covers, the only relief came with the thought that as mad as I must have made him, I had received no form of punishment; a reflection that made me imagine he might have been staying away from me for that very reason - to protect me. Sleep overtook me as a small smile played the corners of my lips.
My eyes snapped open, wide and terrified, as I became aware of hands sliding up and down my body, hot breath spiriting across my neck. Swallowing hard, I realized the error in my earlier belief, reeling with a pain like I’d been slapped.
“You’re mine…” Burying the right side of my face against the pillow, I tried to keep my eyes as far away from his as possible; I didn’t want him to know any more satisfaction, and the pounding of my heart and tingling in the pit of my stomach as his hands continued to roam across my naked body would only fuel his desire to hurt me. I had learned long ago to simply shut my eyes and wait for it to end, though that was usually easier said that done. He liked participation and a reaction was always expected; the way his tongue was making a hot trail down my stomach told me tonight would be no exception.
Unable to stop the jerk of my hips, I instead firmly pressed my lips together to suppress the moan that lingered in my throat as his tongue delved lower. The childish giggle that reached my ears rendered my restraint almost useless, my body melting at his touch, the sounds he managed to elict from my lips making him smile against my skin.
“Tell me Kael, do you still want to leave?” I tried to shake my head against the pillow I was pressing it back into, my body on fire.
Unsatisfied with my lack of verbal response, he stopped his ministrations, triggering the snap upwards of my head to look down at him, smirking, eyes glimmering in the pale moonlight just managing to slip through the bottom of the blinds, illuminating his naked form like a ghost.
My breath was coming in gasps, my body crying out so loudly for him that I did the only sensible thing. I gave in.
“Please Frankie…” His smirk widened at my desperate tone.
“Please Frankie what Kael? Tell me what you want.” Locking eyes, I answered, my voice low and slightly raspy with want.
“Whatever you want to give me. Everything.” I could see his eyes darken, found myself swallowing against the feelings that almost instantly erupted in my chest, as of late, whenever he looked at me, my own heart betraying me.
His tongue ran hotly up and down, tracing my sex, before his fingers pulled the lips apart and his mouth was back on me, my body shivering in anticipation for what I knew would come. His thumb pressed against the hard bundle of nerves before his lips replaced it, wrapping around and sucking hard. I could feel the warmth gathering again in the pit of my stomach, my breathing erratic as my head pressed harder into the pillow beneath.
“Oh fuck…Frankie!” Arching off of the mattress as the orgasm rolled over me I could just make out his figure standing and moving back onto the bed, his features intent.
He slid into me without a word, a soft moan escaping his own lips and the slight widening of my eyes the only indication he had done anything at all. He started moving slowly, his hands bracing his body on either side my shoulders, his eyes staring down at my body, which screamed for him to move faster.
And he did. He could read me like a book, he knew what I wanted and needed before my brain had even registered the desires. Rising to his knees, my hips lifting with the motion, he slammed, hard, into me. The dullest of pains reverberated through my body, the pleasure already overwhelming me; the momentary pain a long forgotten memory of the past.
I could feel his breathing turn erratic against my neck, his fingers tracing along my collarbone before wrapping around my throat, tightening almost instantly, as I gasped against the unexpected sensation. Eyes widened, fear sending my heart into a frenzied overdrive, my hands reaching up to grasp his, my finger nails digging uselessly.
My throat was closing, my brain screaming at me; you’re going to die! He’s going to kill you this time! Hot tears raced down my cheeks, my fingers still pulling frantically at his while he continued to thrust into me, his pace increasing by the second, his eyes glinting mirthlessly down at me, watching me struggle.
I knew my air supply was running out; my fingers becoming lax in their fight to escape, dropping pathetically to my sides, my eyes heavy as I struggled with consciousness.
“You’re never fucking leaving me.” I felt his warm release, my whole body clenching as I somehow managed to come as his death grasp released.
Gasping, my fingers scrambling to hold onto my burning neck, drinking in the much needed oxygen in greedy gulps. Anxiously, I pulled my knees up to my chest, for a moment blissfully unaware of the man staring curiously at me, just inches away as I continued to refill my lungs.
Shaking slightly, both from the near strangulation and the climax that had coincided, I managed to lift tear blurred eyes to hazel ones, meeting for a moment before his arms wrapped around me, pulling me to his chest, still trembling.
“I’m sorry baby…” His voice a soft whisper in the darkness though his presence was the brightest light. “I didn’t mean to hurt you…I’m sorry.” Cursing myself inwardly as my body curled against his slightly perspiring one, craving the warmth of his arms, the way his fingers pulled effortlessly through my pale hair, his words a truth I could make myself believe in the darkness.
Finally, his breathing slowed, giving me reason to snuggle closer to his chest, his arms wrapped protectively around me even in sleep. I wondered if I wasn’t fooling myself; maybe this really was what love was. Maybe I’d had it all along and hadn’t even known it. Certainly, the feeling that erupted in my chest everytime I was around him indicated there was more than simple hate or even lust in my heart for him.
Clamping my eyes shut, I wanted nothing more than for my brain to shut off forever, to stop these thoughts from swirling around my head like water down a drain. Breathing out heavily, I gave in for the second time that night.
“I love you Frankie.” My whispered acquiesce stale in the stark silence of a ‘lovers’ embrace.
-----
I'm really only updating for a friend right now.
I see that people are reading the story, so I can't understand why you aren't reviewing. I really do appreciate knowing how you feel about the story, even criticism is appreciated. Please, just write SOMETHING!
Cheers
Kat
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