Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Stuttering
"This is worse than when Darth Vader blew up Princess Leia's home planet."
7 reviews"Another one for the vault."
1Exciting
Stuttering 88
As Patrick looked at the door he then turned to Joe and sighed.
"Can I tell you something else?" Patrick asked.
"Am I a middle aged black woman who's weight keeps fluxuating on national television? Because I SWEAR to BOB you think I'm fucking Oprah!" Joe stated.
"But you're my best friend." Patrick whined.
"Fine. What is it?"
"Another one for the vault."
"Soon, I'm gonna be charging a storage fee Paco."
"Just this last thing."
"Shoot."
"Bro. Cal's pregnant because of me." Patrick stated.
"Well. I mean DUH! That's the inner workings of it all. Sperm from a male, and Egg from a female meet, implants in the uterus. 40 weeks later, a little loose neck." Joe concluded,
"no matter what Cal and Baby Killer say. That's the way it works."
"No. Joe. Like. She told me, she told me her birth control lapsed, gave me a condom, told me to put it on- and- I did- but I took it off and just-"
I inhaled as I dropped my bag at hearing this news. I didn't think he'd be so low.
"So then THAT EXPLAINS why you didn't freak the fuck out when I told you I was pregnant." I sighed grasping the underside of my belly throwing the bags with shoes in them at him.
One of the twins kicked and I quickly gasped for air as another went under my lung.
"Baby no listen-" Patrick stated as he put his hat on his head with shock,
"I thought you were going to leave me!"
"So what? you thought. 'I know what'll keep her with me.' Lets KNOCK UP the Puerto Rican?! Bad move Einstein."
"Not right Calista!"
"You think like a 16 year old Bust down, tryna' keep a nigga, who's fucking him, her and them, Patrick?"
"Cali-"
"Don't SAY my name like THAT!"
Joe and Patrick stood up quickly as Mozart ran around barking into a fit. Andy stood behind me with his mouth dropped. He wouldn't expect such treachery from Patrick.
No one knew he could pull out that hat trick.
"I feel like- is this a joke? A trick? ANSWER ME PATRICK!"
"No not trick-"
"That's right. A trick is something a whore does for money...or cocaine- what am I?"
"Excuse me?"
The words coming out of Patrick's mouth couldn't be. He's not that stupid. He confessed to Joe that his pregnant wife, didn't get that way by a planned accident. As a matter of fact Patrick just confessed that he purposefully impregnated a Puerto Rican.
That's death anyway you look at it.
I started out the door and Andy tried to take a hold of me first. This didn't work as I just shook him roughly out of my grasp and started up the walk way. Patrick was right behind me and I didn't want to hear it.
I was flighting with Patrick. I was hitting him so much and getting in decent blows. It was when I hit him again that I got the worst cramp ever. I caught my composure and proceeded to beat his ass.
At this moment I hated him. I didn't want this ring and I didn't want this last name.
"Cali, wait, please!" Patrick yelled.
The twins were being absolutely ruthless with me and were just kicking the shit out of my insides. I fought to catch my breath not realizing how long the walkway was. They weren't content with my blood pressure spiking the way it did.
I ignored his calls and headed down to the gate. He finally caught up to me as I stepped out into the street.
"Cali listen!" Patrick started again.
"No! You drop dead somewhere and just stay away from me!" I yelled and I got a cramp that made me bend over in pain.
"Sweetness are you ok? Should I call the doctor?" Patrick stated as he came to me and I just swatted him away.
"Don't call me that! Just stay away from me. I can't stand to look at you. First you cheat, you lie, and now this! You got me this way on purpose? What the fuck were you on Patrick! Do you see what this pregnancy's doing to me? I don't even know who the fuck I'm married to. Everything you say is a lie!"
Patrick looked at Joe and Andy. They both backed away lightly. This definitely was NOT their intent nor did they know what Calista was talking about...maybe not Andy.
"What?" Patrick demanded.
"Do you think I am a complete moron?" I demanded giving him one nice push, "did you not think I'd know you FUCKED Elisa in Paris!"
"No- how'd you..."
"She told me."
"WHAT!"
"She told me. That's why she sent me those pictures because i didn't want to believe that you'd cheat on me. Now with that said. VETE PAL CARAJO!"
Patrick grabbed me again and I pushed him away from me. Because he wouldn't let go I just kept hitting him and hitting him. His glasses shifted and I tried to push him in front of on coming traffic.
As Patrick attempted to block my swings Andy and Joe came down the walk way out of breath. The next thing I knew his hand came across my face and I was taken a back.
Patrick's eyes got huge and he grabbed me by my shoulders. Joe knew I deserved it but the way it happened was so fast that all they saw was that it was Patrick's fault.
There was an officer who was on patrol sitting in his car writing a ticket for a car which was doubled parked for a few hours. He had been witnessing the commotion not really paying attention. It was when he looked up that he came running across the street with his gun pulled out the moment he saw Patrick hit me. I gasped loudly and touched my face.
"DON'T YOU EVER COME NEAR ME AGAIN AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE YOUR CHILDREN!" I yelled back.
Patrick was being handcuffed and read his rights while Joe was trying to plead with the officer. Something about that I was hitting him first and if so be the case we both should be arrested.
On this side of the city the officer saw a scared, extremely pregnant, crying woman. He didn't see 2 people fighting. I was walking back towards Joe's place when I stopped.
"JOSEPH!" I yelled linking my fingers under my belly letting out a yell of pain.
"Calista- wait-" Joe said still pleading with the officer as he had Patrick on his knees.
Patrick's tears were silent and his glasses were getting fogged. He could not believe what had happened. Here he was on his knees being treated like a petty criminal while his wife was bleeding- NO!
"Joey! I think I'm-" I started.
As I fell to my knees and screamed bloody murder, I noticed that I was bleeding- a lot. At this moment Joe had to prove to whom his TRUE loyalties lied. Joe was suddenly torn between his best friend and ran toward me.
I moved my hand and saw that it was drenched in blood under my dress. This scared me, because this wasn't supposed to be happening.
"Joe..." I said labored, "its too early. I'm only 34 weeks."
"Calista I don't-"
"911 Joe!"
Joe pulled out his phone and dialed 911. Andy was now taking his turn with the officer wiping the tears out his eyes. They told Joe something about a unit already being outside that building. It was when Joe clarified that this was a whole different situation.
Andy had already beaten Joe to the punch and another unit WAS on its way. But then again, it also helped that they were celebrities.
About 5 minutes later the ambulance pulled in front of Joe's complex. I was being whisked away at the same time the police drove off with Patrick.
"What the hell now?" Andy asked.
"This is all bad." Joe said holding back tears.
Pete had randomly called Patrick and when he didn't pick up he dialed Andy. Andy pushed his phone to Joe and Joe continued to freak.
"Its all bad Pete! Get back to Chicago!" Joe yelled.
"What's all bad Joe?" Pete asked in his serious voice.
"Cal and the babies-"
"Yea..."
"Duuuuude!"
"Spit it out!"
"An Ambulance just left here!"
"What!" "PatrickWasConfessingASinAndCalistaWalkedInOnTheWrongEndOfTheConversationAnd-"
"JOE! You fucking hype. Slow dooown!"
"Can't!CalistaJustFoundOutThatPatrickGotHerPregnantOnPurpose!!"
If they could have seen Pete, he took a few steps back and put his hand over his mouth.
"PETE! You don't...I'm so high! We need to go Pete...I'm very high!" Joe whispered loudly in a high pitched voice,
"Patrick was telling me and I saw her, and I didnt try to do anything so he could shut up before it was too late but you know Patrick! Then they started to fight and then...she was hitting him and he hit her back! Then Cal started clutching her belly! Its too early Peter! She can't have the babies yet!" Joe concluded.
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*jumps up and down in joy*
im sooo0o0o0o0o excited about the next part of this story i could scream. i wont... but i could. Gins happy too *Gin nods* this one goes out to kissbetweenstars. sorry to hear you lost your bed. hope this cheers you up.
Cal&Gin
As Patrick looked at the door he then turned to Joe and sighed.
"Can I tell you something else?" Patrick asked.
"Am I a middle aged black woman who's weight keeps fluxuating on national television? Because I SWEAR to BOB you think I'm fucking Oprah!" Joe stated.
"But you're my best friend." Patrick whined.
"Fine. What is it?"
"Another one for the vault."
"Soon, I'm gonna be charging a storage fee Paco."
"Just this last thing."
"Shoot."
"Bro. Cal's pregnant because of me." Patrick stated.
"Well. I mean DUH! That's the inner workings of it all. Sperm from a male, and Egg from a female meet, implants in the uterus. 40 weeks later, a little loose neck." Joe concluded,
"no matter what Cal and Baby Killer say. That's the way it works."
"No. Joe. Like. She told me, she told me her birth control lapsed, gave me a condom, told me to put it on- and- I did- but I took it off and just-"
I inhaled as I dropped my bag at hearing this news. I didn't think he'd be so low.
"So then THAT EXPLAINS why you didn't freak the fuck out when I told you I was pregnant." I sighed grasping the underside of my belly throwing the bags with shoes in them at him.
One of the twins kicked and I quickly gasped for air as another went under my lung.
"Baby no listen-" Patrick stated as he put his hat on his head with shock,
"I thought you were going to leave me!"
"So what? you thought. 'I know what'll keep her with me.' Lets KNOCK UP the Puerto Rican?! Bad move Einstein."
"Not right Calista!"
"You think like a 16 year old Bust down, tryna' keep a nigga, who's fucking him, her and them, Patrick?"
"Cali-"
"Don't SAY my name like THAT!"
Joe and Patrick stood up quickly as Mozart ran around barking into a fit. Andy stood behind me with his mouth dropped. He wouldn't expect such treachery from Patrick.
No one knew he could pull out that hat trick.
"I feel like- is this a joke? A trick? ANSWER ME PATRICK!"
"No not trick-"
"That's right. A trick is something a whore does for money...or cocaine- what am I?"
"Excuse me?"
The words coming out of Patrick's mouth couldn't be. He's not that stupid. He confessed to Joe that his pregnant wife, didn't get that way by a planned accident. As a matter of fact Patrick just confessed that he purposefully impregnated a Puerto Rican.
That's death anyway you look at it.
I started out the door and Andy tried to take a hold of me first. This didn't work as I just shook him roughly out of my grasp and started up the walk way. Patrick was right behind me and I didn't want to hear it.
I was flighting with Patrick. I was hitting him so much and getting in decent blows. It was when I hit him again that I got the worst cramp ever. I caught my composure and proceeded to beat his ass.
At this moment I hated him. I didn't want this ring and I didn't want this last name.
"Cali, wait, please!" Patrick yelled.
The twins were being absolutely ruthless with me and were just kicking the shit out of my insides. I fought to catch my breath not realizing how long the walkway was. They weren't content with my blood pressure spiking the way it did.
I ignored his calls and headed down to the gate. He finally caught up to me as I stepped out into the street.
"Cali listen!" Patrick started again.
"No! You drop dead somewhere and just stay away from me!" I yelled and I got a cramp that made me bend over in pain.
"Sweetness are you ok? Should I call the doctor?" Patrick stated as he came to me and I just swatted him away.
"Don't call me that! Just stay away from me. I can't stand to look at you. First you cheat, you lie, and now this! You got me this way on purpose? What the fuck were you on Patrick! Do you see what this pregnancy's doing to me? I don't even know who the fuck I'm married to. Everything you say is a lie!"
Patrick looked at Joe and Andy. They both backed away lightly. This definitely was NOT their intent nor did they know what Calista was talking about...maybe not Andy.
"What?" Patrick demanded.
"Do you think I am a complete moron?" I demanded giving him one nice push, "did you not think I'd know you FUCKED Elisa in Paris!"
"No- how'd you..."
"She told me."
"WHAT!"
"She told me. That's why she sent me those pictures because i didn't want to believe that you'd cheat on me. Now with that said. VETE PAL CARAJO!"
Patrick grabbed me again and I pushed him away from me. Because he wouldn't let go I just kept hitting him and hitting him. His glasses shifted and I tried to push him in front of on coming traffic.
As Patrick attempted to block my swings Andy and Joe came down the walk way out of breath. The next thing I knew his hand came across my face and I was taken a back.
Patrick's eyes got huge and he grabbed me by my shoulders. Joe knew I deserved it but the way it happened was so fast that all they saw was that it was Patrick's fault.
There was an officer who was on patrol sitting in his car writing a ticket for a car which was doubled parked for a few hours. He had been witnessing the commotion not really paying attention. It was when he looked up that he came running across the street with his gun pulled out the moment he saw Patrick hit me. I gasped loudly and touched my face.
"DON'T YOU EVER COME NEAR ME AGAIN AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE YOUR CHILDREN!" I yelled back.
Patrick was being handcuffed and read his rights while Joe was trying to plead with the officer. Something about that I was hitting him first and if so be the case we both should be arrested.
On this side of the city the officer saw a scared, extremely pregnant, crying woman. He didn't see 2 people fighting. I was walking back towards Joe's place when I stopped.
"JOSEPH!" I yelled linking my fingers under my belly letting out a yell of pain.
"Calista- wait-" Joe said still pleading with the officer as he had Patrick on his knees.
Patrick's tears were silent and his glasses were getting fogged. He could not believe what had happened. Here he was on his knees being treated like a petty criminal while his wife was bleeding- NO!
"Joey! I think I'm-" I started.
As I fell to my knees and screamed bloody murder, I noticed that I was bleeding- a lot. At this moment Joe had to prove to whom his TRUE loyalties lied. Joe was suddenly torn between his best friend and ran toward me.
I moved my hand and saw that it was drenched in blood under my dress. This scared me, because this wasn't supposed to be happening.
"Joe..." I said labored, "its too early. I'm only 34 weeks."
"Calista I don't-"
"911 Joe!"
Joe pulled out his phone and dialed 911. Andy was now taking his turn with the officer wiping the tears out his eyes. They told Joe something about a unit already being outside that building. It was when Joe clarified that this was a whole different situation.
Andy had already beaten Joe to the punch and another unit WAS on its way. But then again, it also helped that they were celebrities.
About 5 minutes later the ambulance pulled in front of Joe's complex. I was being whisked away at the same time the police drove off with Patrick.
"What the hell now?" Andy asked.
"This is all bad." Joe said holding back tears.
Pete had randomly called Patrick and when he didn't pick up he dialed Andy. Andy pushed his phone to Joe and Joe continued to freak.
"Its all bad Pete! Get back to Chicago!" Joe yelled.
"What's all bad Joe?" Pete asked in his serious voice.
"Cal and the babies-"
"Yea..."
"Duuuuude!"
"Spit it out!"
"An Ambulance just left here!"
"What!" "PatrickWasConfessingASinAndCalistaWalkedInOnTheWrongEndOfTheConversationAnd-"
"JOE! You fucking hype. Slow dooown!"
"Can't!CalistaJustFoundOutThatPatrickGotHerPregnantOnPurpose!!"
If they could have seen Pete, he took a few steps back and put his hand over his mouth.
"PETE! You don't...I'm so high! We need to go Pete...I'm very high!" Joe whispered loudly in a high pitched voice,
"Patrick was telling me and I saw her, and I didnt try to do anything so he could shut up before it was too late but you know Patrick! Then they started to fight and then...she was hitting him and he hit her back! Then Cal started clutching her belly! Its too early Peter! She can't have the babies yet!" Joe concluded.
@@@@@@@@@
*jumps up and down in joy*
im sooo0o0o0o0o excited about the next part of this story i could scream. i wont... but i could. Gins happy too *Gin nods* this one goes out to kissbetweenstars. sorry to hear you lost your bed. hope this cheers you up.
Cal&Gin
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