FicWad

I was gong to strangle the two of them once I found them. Them being my boyfriend of 3 years, Brendon Urie, and my best friend since I was in diapers, Ryan Ross. Ryan and I have always been extremely close. He has always been the person I could turn to. He has always been there when I needed him the most. I can tell him everything... well almost everything. There is one thing that I have never been able to tell him. And that is that I am in love with him. I never knew that it was possible to love two people whole heartedly. But that is exactly the situation that I am in. I am in love with both Brendon and Ryan. I started falling in love with Ryan as a teenager. He was my first kiss, my first love, hell he was my first everything. The day that we had sex for the first time I was beyond nervous.

flashback
we were laying in Ryan’s bed cuddling. His mom had gone on a mini vacation type thing to visit his grandmother or something like that. She had taken his sister Stevie with her. I had my chest laying on Ryan’s chest and I was absentmindly drawing circles on his lower stomach.

“Have you ever thought about sex” Ryan randomly asked
“what do you mean” I said as I giggled
“I mean have you ever thought about what your first time is going to be like” he asked
“yeah somewhat. I imagine it being with someone I care about. And I imagine him being gentle and sweet about it.” I said while blushing
“I’ve always imagined my first time being in a candle lit room. And I always pictured it being with you. Cause I care about you and I trust you. And you’ve been my first for everything else. Plus they say your first time should be with someone special. You are the most special person to me.” Ryan said as he turned blood red from blushing.
“ I want you to be my first too.” I said as I leaned up and kissed him. I could lay and kiss him all day. His kisses are to die for. Things started to heat up between us.
“Do you... can we...umm” Ryan stuttered. I understood what he meant though .I looked him right in his eyes
“yes Ry. I want you to make love to me” I said. He smiled at me then kissed me softly. We slowly started to undress each other.
“Wait” I said
“what is it..whats wrong” he asked
“nothing is wrong. I just want to do something” I said. Ryan had tons of candles in his room. He claims that they calm him down. I arrange the candles around his bed to where they wouldn’t catch anything on fire. I the lit them and turn all the lights off
“this is as much my experience as it is yours. I want it to be special to the both of us.” I said. He once again smiled and pulled me closer to him. I ran my fingers down him chest as he kissed my neck and laid me down on his bed. Reached down and ran my hand over his length. I didn’t have the slightest clue as to what I was doing. Ryan didn’t seem to mind though. By the sounds he was making I was doing just fine.
“You ready” Ryan asked as he was about to enter me.
“Yes” I said.
end flashback

Ryan still doesn’t know that on that day I fell even more in love with him. He doesn’t know that I
am still in love with him. I was 17 when Ryan first introduced me to Brendon. He literally took my breath away. We clicked right away. It took us a year before we started dating. Ryan helped and played cupid to get us together. Brendon doesn’t know about my feelings for Ryan. I had hoped they would have gone away. I am happy with Brendon, but I cant help but to eel something is missing
Anyways back to why I was going to strangle them. You see not only am I Brendon’s girlfriend, I am also merch chick for Panic. I also help Zack out whenever he needs me to. Ryan and Brendon were supposed to come and help me pack everything up once the fans were gone. Luckily Jon and Spencer happened to walk past the booth and help me

“Have you two seen Bden and Ry” I asked
“no they weren’t in the dressing room. We thought they came to help you. Obviously not” Spencer said
“im gonna go find them. Can you guys handle the rest” I asked
“sure but once you find them, tell them to hurry up so we can go party for your birthday.” Spencer said. I forgot to mention today is my 21st birthday. We are all supposed to go out tonight. I headed backstage to look for Brendon and Ryan. I was starting to get pissed. Them I heard a sound that I know all too well...Brendon moaning. He was never very quiet about it either. I followed the sound to one of the extra dressing room
“Brend, you gotta keep it down” I heard Ryan said. My jaw hit the floor. I always knew that Brendon was Bi. But Ryan I didn’t know.
“I cant help it. Its feel... OH FUCK.. So” I heard Brendon say before he got cut off. I slowly twisted the handle to find that it was unlocked. Curiosity definitely had the best of me. I quietly opened the door to see my boyfriend and best friend heavily making out.. They were both shirtless and from what I could tell Ryan hand his hand in Brendon’s pants no doubt giving him a hand job. I cant deny that I liked what I was seeing. I’ve even had dreams about it. I bit my lip to hold back a moan of my own. It didn’t work too well. Brendon looked over at me and made eye contact.

“Looks like we have finally have a visitor” he said to Ryan. Ryan looked at me and gave me that sexy smirk that I love.
“Its about time.” he said. Brendon walked over to me and pulled me into a long passionate kiss. He then shut and locked the door then stepped behind me and started kissing me neck. Ryan stepped in front of me and put his hands on my hips before he leaned in to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer as I deepened the kiss. I could feel brendon start to undress me. Ryan and I broke our kiss so my top could be removed.

“If at anytime you wanna stop just sat so” Ryan said I ran my fingers up and down his chest.
“He’s beautiful isnt he” Brendon said in my ear then he nibbled on my earlobe. I let a moan escape my lips
“you don’t know how much I’ve missed that sound” Ryan said as he kissed me again. His hands were now trying to push brendon’s pants off while I was still in the middle. My hands went to Ryan’s pants as Brendon was undoing mine. Before I knew it we were all completely naked. Ryan had his fingers deep inside of me. I loved having his long fingers in me. I had both of my hands wrapped around both boys cocks.
“I want to be inside of you” Ryan said. I looked at brendon to make sure he was ok with it.
“Sweetie its fine with me. I know how much you want him too” Brendon said
“oh don’t think that I am leaving you out. I want you to fuck me. Just like how you know I like it.” Ryan said. Brendon pulled him into a heated kiss over my shoulder.
“You guys have fucked before” I asked. I was shocked. Not that I blame either one of them. They are both sex on legs. I was shocked that I didn’t have the slightest idea until now.
“Yeah. A lot actually. Don’t be mad, we couldnt..” I kissed Ryan to shut him up
“im not mad.. It’s a major fucking turn on. From now on make sure im there though” I said.
“Im sure that wont be a problem” Brendon said then pulled me into a kiss. Ryan pulled us across the room where there was a sheet laying on the ground. I kissed brendon deeply once more.
“I love you” I whispered to him
“I love you too. Now go get him. I know how much you both want this” he said. I smiled and turned around to Ryan. He had a nervous look on his face. I pulled him into a passionate kiss. I snaked my hand down and wrapped it around his length. He moaned into our kiss. He laid us down on the sheet..
“You are so extraordinarily beautiful.” Ryan said as he ran his fingers over my body.
“Ry” I whined. I wanted him in me already. Both him and Brendon let out a laugh. I pulled Ryan into a kiss as he entered me. He was a lot bigger than Brendon is. I moaned into out kiss. I felt Brendon slide behind Ryan. I started kissing ryans neck to try and distract him as Brendon prepared him. Brendon was placing kissed on the back of Ryans neck,
“you ready ry?” brendon asked Ryan nodded. I pulled him into another kiss as brendon slid into him
“you guys ok” brendon asked
“yeah. You can move now” Ryan said. Both boys started a rythym. Everytime brendon would thrust into Ryan, ry would thrust into me. Needless to say I was seeing stars. We were all a moaning mess. I couldnt tell whose moans were whose.
“ oh god... im so close” Ryan said as he started to thrust faster. It sent me over the edge. I had the best orgasm of my life. Ryan exploded inside of me with brendon right behind him. We collapsed in a tangle of limbs
“Happy Birthday” brendon said as he kissed me.
“ thank you. But how’d you know that I would even go for this?” I asked
“cause I know you love him just as much as you love me. And I don’t blame you cause I have feelings for him too.” Brendon said
“and I’ve always been in love with you. I just never had the courage to tell you. Then I realized I had feelings for Brendon too. It all started when you two got in a fight one night and brendon came to me for comfort. Then he caught on to how I’d watch you. Eventually I broke down and told him everything. I thought I was the only one who was in love with two people.” Ryan said as he started blushing.
“I love both of you so much. But where does this leave us” I asked
“ well we were kinda hoping that we could all be together. Just one couple” brendon said
“I would like that a lot” I said. i kissed both of them
“we better get to the bus before Spence and Jon come find us” Ryan said

“yeah we are supposed to go out tonight”I said. We all got up and got dressed again.. We walked to the bus hand in hand. I was in the middle of my boys. All three of us had huge smiles on our faces.
“Took you all long enough” Spencer said. He gave us an odd look.
“Are you all gonna change so we can go” Jon. asked
“ yeah yeah we’re giong” Ryan said. We all hopped on the bus. I had already picked out what I was gonna wear. It was a black and white plaid skirt and a black button down top. I also wore a pair of black heels. I was really short compared to Ryan and Brendon. So I tried to wear heels as much as possible. Im only 5'3. I touched up my make up before walking back to the front of the bus. Ryan was slipping on his shoes on when he saw me
“wow...just.. Wow” he said
“ where’s bren and the others?” I asked
“outside ... you look amazing” he said. I wrapped my arms my arms around his neck then brushed a piece of hair out of his eyes. He put his hands on my hips and pulled me close to him
“ I love you” he whispered.
“ I love you too ryro. More than you know” I said
“I think I loved you since we met. I know I did as a teenager. I never thought I was good enough . I was just the nerdy kids who wrote in a notebook all the time” he said while looking down
“thats one of the things I loved the most. And you weren’t nerdy. You are just extremely insightful. And I wouldn’t have it any other way”: I said. He leaned in and captured my lips in his. It was sweet and gentle. We pulled apart and rested our foreheads together.
“ I love that I can finally do that whenever I want” he said. I just giggled
“ lets go get our boyfriend and go have some fun” he said as I laced our hands together and pulled him off the bus.