Ten year old Harry Potter's destiny is changed when he is contacted by a secret government organization before he gets his Hogwart's letter. Strong!Intelligent!Gray!Werewolf!Harry.
(#) skytime12 2008-08-09 04:46:13 PM
you have may interest please wight more
(#) Skoell 2008-08-09 05:42:41 PM
sounds like a very promising story!
but how does harry know how remus looks like as a werewolf? and how does a ten year old harry know remus at all?
hope it continues soon!
(#) Jessica22 2008-08-10 06:16:04 AM
Great beggining. PLease write more as I am anxious to continue reading!
(#) DarQuing 2008-08-10 01:33:35 PM
Good beginning. I look forward to seeing more.
The only critique I have is, how does Harry know Remus to begin with, not to mention what he looks like as a werewolf.
(#) Vanir 2008-08-10 01:52:23 PM
Erm, the description was intriguing, but so far the story doesn't match. I'm quite aware that magic and werewolves aren't really believable on their own, but a kid that age lifting weights and actually exercising? Dodgy, to say the least. With another k or two, you could have fleshed out the childhood superification a bit and made it more believable. Further, the reference to Remus was just wrong and had nothing to do in this chapter. I understand you were trying to paint an image for us, but that's not necessary. If we had no imagination, we wouldn't be here.
Putting the flamethrower down, you caught my interest, and i will certainly read the next chapter.
Keep at it.
Not bad really, but you kinda jump through it really fast with little to no buildup. You really aren't all that bad, and i love the idea. Please, please continue this i think you could make it a pretty good story.
(#) jjracer24 2008-08-11 10:19:46 PM
Liked what I've read so far, looking forward to see what direction you take with this story, could be a great story.
(#) Secca 2008-08-11 10:37:02 PM
I certainly think that this story shows promise. I believe that you could certainly have spent more time fleshing out the childhood build-up making it more easily swallowed as well as leaving out the reference to Remus. All in all, I enjoyed what I read and am looking forward to the next chapter.
(#) scifiloveit 2008-08-23 05:58:54 AM
this sounds really interesting and so far i love it. please continue
(#) selonianth 2008-12-12 10:50:09 PM
Not that bad but kinda moved really fast. Maybe a 'Prologue' would have been better. A bit more detail otherwise and it'd be good.